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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Domus Draconis
Review(s): 423

Reviewer: Mistress of PotionsDate: 2008-05-08
Reviewid: 150836Chapter: 10
I wouldn't worry about what JK Rowling says about much of anything, not after they way she blew it with books 6 & 7. Besides, I like Arthur Weasley as Minister of Magic too. :-)

Reviewer: jimbocousDate: 2008-02-24
Reviewid: 150560Chapter: 30
Just realized that I had never reviewed this, though I think I had completed it. I did enjoy the AU you created here, and there certainly was, and is, enough potential here for this to have been continued and expanded. Always interesting to explore the canoncharacters through different eyes, and, at the same time, that's probably where this fell down a bit, as there was no good way to kee[ Mark and Harry close enough to gain that vision, due to the difference in age, while at Hogwarts. Might have been possible to develop that a bit while home, and it would have been interesting to see how Harry would have reacted to a "little brohter". More exploration of that would have been interesting. Thanks for a fun read.

Reviewer: orangesherbertDate: 2006-11-06
Reviewid: 146088Chapter: 30
I know that you said that you were not going to write a sequel, but please do! I love this story and I dearl want to know what happened to Professor Crisp. Please write a sequel!

Reviewer: Hpgirl42095Date: 2006-04-25
Reviewid: 142226Chapter: 30
Hey, this was a nice story. Except, really, only 2 things really really bother me. The first is that Harry suddenly went and lived with Mark and his parents. He just met them! That doesn't make sense!
The second thing is well, Mark. He's really way over his head, has larger-than-life ideas, and is really really stupid. Sorry. Everything else was just fine.

Reviewer: *Date: 2005-11-01
Reviewid: 135567Chapter: 1
Despite the warm body of his mother next to him, Mark shivered. “Am I safe here now, then?” ----- + 10 sentences more = Mark walked over to him and placed his hand on his father’s arm. “I don’t die so easily, Dad.” His father turned his gaze to him, and Mark saw tears glistening in his eyes. No one spoke for a moment. Then, all of a sudden, Mark’s father lowered his head, and Mark felt him shivering beneath his hand.

Can I have some of this medication so that I can enjoy the swings too?

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-11-01
Reviewid: 135566Chapter: 30
I liked the story, but hated some of the reasoning. Thanks anyway.

Reviewer: AshleyDate: 2005-10-08
Reviewid: 133988Chapter: 13
This story is great! Keep up the hard work!

Reviewer: AshleyDate: 2005-09-30
Reviewid: 133485Chapter: 30
Awww! Birgit this was such a good series... I really loved it. You're a very talented writer, you deserve to be on the professors bookshelf. Congrats on completing the story - though I'm sad to see it end.

Reviewer: NialDate: 2005-08-25
Reviewid: 130839Chapter: 30
Your Mark is a sweetie. Thanks. I can see why you feel you need to leave him now, but I'll be sad to wave him goodbye.

Reviewer: merlin88Date: 2005-08-21
Reviewid: 130490Chapter: 30
I read all of your stories and they are all so well thought out and detailed. How do you find time to write such a long story?? It felt like I was actually reading another Harry Potter book. Thanks for this great adventure!

Reviewer: Kathryn BerryDate: 2005-07-13
Reviewid: 127086Chapter: 30
I loved this story! Thank you so much for writing this. Even though there will be new canon to play with I hope at some point you might continue on with Mark and Harry because that was a truly wonderful story.

Reviewer: CybčleDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126839Chapter: 30
Hi!
I've just read the last three chapters and the epilogue... Very, very interesting, as usual! ^_^ Now I'm going to miss Mark (;_;), but you can count on me to read your next story, although not before October if there are spoilers on it, because I'll wait for the French version of book 6 (and I'll read it in English later, when it's released in pocket version, just like the others). Thanks for this great series of stories that gave me lots of very nice moments of reading. ^_^ I'll never forget your "Artist and Scientist" universe. See you! Cybčle.

Reviewer: melluDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126794Chapter: 13
This is one of the few things that i like reading in sugarquill, it's a great relief from my work, so i hope to know what the rest of the story has for me. keep it up! I'm just reading this in between breaks at work, but givent he oppostunity, i'll read through it all in one reading, I'm currently finished with chapter 13 i can't wait to get t o the end. Workl really interferes with the fun we can have in this world!

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126322Chapter: 30
Sorry I took so long to review -- computer problems.

Lovely ending to an excellent story! So Mark's Transfiguration grade was 87% -- a nod to the number 87, especially since you actually know the secret of 87.

Of course, it would be wrong to say you know everything -- you didn't know when you started writing this that Mark would turn out to be a nobody. It's too bad, but at least your fic provides us with a glimpse of what could've been.

You deserve a dancing Remus! And I'll be looking forward to more of your work, birgit!

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-05
Reviewid: 126066Chapter: 30
Great Ending. I'm happy to see that Mark had a really enjoyable year, of course, we don't really know what's going to happen with Proffesor Crispe, but I guess, if you ever decided to come back to this universe, there is always room for a sequel.

"Eighty seven per cent on Transfiguration," Idiots on Transfiguration? I'm not sure I understand. :P

Thanks, for this great piece of work,


Gryfny

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2005-07-04
Reviewid: 126054Chapter: 30
Am I the only reviewer still on tenterhooks to know Professor Binn's fate? I appreciate the value of an Open-Ended ending, but could you at least give us a hint?

As for the overall effect, I was surprised and rather impressed by this epilogue. By leaving a few things open ended - particularly Crispe and Dumbledore's eventual fates - you gave a bittersweet sense of reality to the ending. It was definitely a tribute to the rest of your story.

And I guess this really is the end. Thanks for the journey.

Reviewer: AstridDate: 2005-07-02
Reviewid: 125925Chapter: 30
I've enjoyed Mark's universe that you've created. Thank you for sharing him with all of us! I'll miss him, but I look forward to the new fanfic when HBP comes out.

Reviewer: nightcrawler1089Date: 2005-07-01
Reviewid: 125815Chapter: 30
I enjoyed the story too :-). Wonderful job, with everything.

Reviewer: Slytherin HeirDate: 2005-07-01
Reviewid: 125799Chapter: 30
I really enjoyed this story. I have read the entire thing through from he start. You write well and are very thorough in your discriptions. Hope you can continue the story after the Half-Blood Prince is released. Hopefully the Sugarquill forum will be represented at Lumos2006 in Vegas.. Looking forward to reading more of your stories. Keep up the great work....

Reviewer: NunduDate: 2005-07-01
Reviewid: 125795Chapter: 30
I have enjoyed this delightful story since the beginning. It is such a pity that Mark turned out to be a 'nobody'. Jo just doesn't realize he really is getting that letter this summer!

Reviewer: millercommamattDate: 2005-07-01
Reviewid: 125767Chapter: 30
I'm glad that you kept on writing and finished your story. Well done.

-millercommamatt

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-07-01
Reviewid: 125757Chapter: 30
he end, everythings sort of optimistic and ambigous, as though anything could happen. I'd like to think it will.

That author's note was the saddest one I've ever seen. I don't think I've ever gotten teary-eyed at an author's note before. I'm going to miss Mark. Thanks to these stories, Mark will never be a nobody in my mind, and, I'm sure, anyone else who has read about him.

Reviewer: ArimalkaDate: 2005-07-01
Reviewid: 125746Chapter: 30
Oh dear... *sniffle*...I must admit...*sniffle sniffle*...
that I cried like a baby when I finished reading the epilogue. *cries again* NOOO! It's can't be over! I love the universe you've created around dear Mark so much- I checked at least every day for a new chapter. It's amazing how such a simple mention in Book Five can, with talent as amazing as your own, blossom into the captivating story that I've followed for so long. Thank you for sharing Mark's story with the rest of the world- it's quite unlikely to be forgotten. =)

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2005-06-30
Reviewid: 125696Chapter: 29
Hmmm. The old, Dumbledore explains it all chapter. *grins* Always fun.

Well, I had no idea that Crispe was deaf. I think back to Harry's account of Crispe being clumsy (which was, I think, a hint to the disability), and nearly hitting Ginny with a spell that was meant for Harry - surely she looked where she was pointing and therefore being deaf wouldn't be an impediment, unless she was disorientated, or firing off curses backwards (in which case no one would expect her to hit).

I was also wrong about Voldemort. Obviously he's been watching too many Bond movies! Why do villains always have to try to be artful in killing their nemesis? Was Voldemort intending to use the same spell on Harry? I got the impression he was just going to kill Harry simply, and therefore the suggestion that Dumbledore would be 'lucky' if he outlived Harry made me think that Dumbledore would not outlive Harry by much, and therefore would be dead in minutes. Sorry, I'm thinking out loud here - I would be very interested to know what the spell was.

And I'm glad Harry agreed with me that there was inside help - still, the letters were a nice, tidy explanation. And your magical theory is very clever here; I like the idea of building on JKR's comments about Lily's eyes. And for some reason, I found myself laughing at the McGonagall-Mark conversation over the rarity of wandless magic.

And oh yes, that's another thing I was wrong about. Professor McGonagall wasn't mentioned during the Rescue Mission, so I assumed she'd stayed behind to protect Hogwarts - and as she wasn't, the suggestion in my last review that Ron, Hermione and Ginny overpower her and forcefeed her Veritaserum must have seemed a bit odd. Hehe!

Anyway, excellent chapter. I hope we learn Professor Crispe's fate in the Epilogue, poor woman.

Reviewer: GenesseDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125449Chapter: 29
I've been waiting for this revelation about Professor Crispe. I have to say that I didn't see it coming at all! (What was I thinking?)

I've also been waiting for someone to come up with a very good explanation as to why it's significant that Harry had Lily's eyes. I really like your explanation. :)

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-06-27
Reviewid: 125360Chapter: 29
It's terrible that people were hurt but it is war. Are we going to find out the names of the characters?

Ironicaly enough, that it was really with painting that Mark saw that he had special talents, namely magic. And it's with painting magic that he realises that he can do wand-less magic.

I like how you have your theory about Pettigrew using his knowledge of the castle. In HBP Jo will really have to explain it, or something will be missing if Jo doesn't have Harry telling Dumbledore that Pettigrew knows the castle, or that there is some attack using some of the passages. I like your theory about the eyes, we do know there was something special about Lily's eye's.

Thanks for all the answers. Looking forward to the epilouge.

Great Story.

Reviewer: ArimalkaDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125294Chapter: 29
The epilogue? You mean it's almost over? *cries* I love this story so much.

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125214Chapter: 29
Great chapter as always! At least Dumbledore and the Weasleys survived.

I thought it was strange when McGonagall told Mark that "Fucatus Rubus" was green paint. I recall the discussion here at the 'Quill that Hagrid's first name, "Rubeus," means red, so how could "Rubus" actually be green? Now we know, of course, that Mark was performing wandless magic. That explains how he was able to activate that Portkey.

I was right -- there is a connection between the Death Eaters' discovery of the tunnels and Wormtail.

So Crispe is deaf? That explains everything!

Good chapter. I can't wait to read the epilogue.

Reviewer: nightcrawler1089Date: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125206Chapter: 29
I'm staying tuned! Though I don't usually like non-Harry-centric fics, you've done a great job. Thanks for this awesome chapter :-)

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125164Chapter: 29
What do you mean, epilogue? That can't be the end. Unless you are going to do another fic with Mark. I know that you don't like doing uncanon fics and that doing fics with Mark Evans will be hard once HBP comes out, but I've become quite fond of him. This can't be it.

All right. Actual reviewing now.

I was very scared that you were going to kill a Weasley, especially Bill. The way you had McGonagall say it to Mark "As for the others, five of our number were killed, but no one you know in person is among them." Sort of like well if Mark didn't know any of the people killed, we won't either, so it's a bit of a relief.

The whole Harry and Mark being able to do magic with their eyes. Made sense. You were really had me thinking on that one. But once you explained it, I've just started rereading OotP, and when Harry loses his wand when the dementors show up and he lit up his wand without touching it. So it was, ah, that's why.

Well, I didn't get it right with what was wrong with Professor Crispe, but I did think that there was something going on, I jus thought that it would have been an illness rather than a disability. The way she got caught was very plausible, but like Mark, I'm sad that this may be the last I hear of her.

Reviewer: CrsDate: 2005-06-24
Reviewid: 125034Chapter: 28
This is a great story! I started reading it yeasterday, after discovering Artists and Scientists on Accio Fanfiction. Please update soon, I can't wait for the rest of the story! Oh, yeah, and I hope it has a happy ending. Anyway, keep up the great work!

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-06-20
Reviewid: 124567Chapter: 28
I liked how you explained away the Fidelius charm and how they were able to get inside.

I really can't wait to see what's going to happen now, between the Order and the Death Eaters. Great Writing.

Reviewer: GenesseDate: 2005-06-20
Reviewid: 124545Chapter: 28
Holy moly. I didn't even skim over this chapter--I read the whole thing. The whole scene was very clear, which is not what I normally find in action scenes. Even when I'm reading Robin's AU fics, I'm confused because things are only suggested, not really spelled out. Good job. I'll have time to really analyze this for the writing group next week.

Reviewer: AstridDate: 2005-06-19
Reviewid: 124483Chapter: 28
Wow. This chapter is fast-paced and intense. I feel like I'm right there beside Mark. I was actually holding my breath near the end in anticipation. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Reviewer: PaulabookwormDate: 2005-06-18
Reviewid: 124452Chapter: 28
Hi Birgit,
I've just read most of this story today - I love the idea of "Professor Nicholas" - and the idea of Theo Nott having a nice younger brother. Professor Crispe has puzzled me though - I want to find out all about her and exactly what's happened in that battle. Can we have another update soon? Pleeeeeease!
Paula.

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2005-06-17
Reviewid: 124338Chapter: 28
Well.. ah.. that was one of the best fight scenes I've ever read. Crikey - I'm glad for the warning. That was horrible in places. A good kind of horrible, if you know what I mean.

I feel immense hatred for Voldemort. Leaving an old man to a slow death and hoping to kill Harry infront of him. Very cruel.

I really enjoyed Bill Weasley's role in this. I've always believed him to be rather powerfull and you portrayed that magnificently. I really, really hope he isn't dead.

As for Professor Crispe, she's a little too cranky for my tastes, although I imagine it must be very hard to have the heart of a fighter and a body that sporadically betrays her. She fought well - although I have no idea why they took her. Wouldn't it have made more sense to grab Harry?

I'm a little confused about what happens to the remaining Order members when Dumbledore falls. Are they still engaged in their individual battles? If they are still active, why don't they try to save Harry and Mark (and for that matter Dumbledore) - unless they are completely immersed in their own fights, but still, you'd expect one of them to notice. Also, I'd definitely expect some reaction from them to Dumbledores fall. I know that screams of "NOOOO!" are a bit cliche, but he is their talisman and with Harry, their best hope.

Yes, generally stunning. I would love to see Mark save Dumbledore with some nice 'Heart-based' magic, but I don't think Voldemort would have turned away from Dumbledore without knowing he was done for. Still, he did always underestimate love... I'll keep my hopes alive until the next update at least.

Finally, what are Ron, Hermione and Ginny doing right now? I fully expect them to have overpowered McGonagall and forcefed her Veritaserum by now. I expect them bursting in any moment! *grins*

Seriously, brilliant chapter. I can't wait for the next one.

Reviewer: ArimalkaDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124235Chapter: 28
Ah. Ahh. AHHH!!! More. Now. Oh my goodness. Fabulous action chapter. I...just...wow.

Reviewer: Celeste BharathDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124201Chapter: 28
Terribly exciting. Can't wait to get to the end. There was a portion of the story in earlier chapters where it seemed to be meandering a bit but you got past that neatly and the last several chapters have been very good. Keep up the good work. Look forward to seeing other fics.

Reviewer: HayleyDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124158Chapter: 28
WOW!!!! That was one of the best chapters in the whole story...

I really want to know who's dead and who isn't????

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124144Chapter: 28
What an exciting chapter! I never realized how good you are at writing fight scenes! I have a number of comments to make, as usual.

First of all, that was interesting about the use of the Fidelius Charm. You're right, we don't know much about how it works. (For an example, what would happen if Bellatrix or Narcissa were to walk to her late aunt's house -- now Order HQ? After all either one has most likely visited it in her childhood. But I digress.)

Hmmm, about Crispe's prediction that there would be an attack on Mark's life before the end of term -- is this an accurate "prediction"? Then again, it could be an educated guess, considering that he's related to Harry, it doesn't take a genius to know the probability would be high that Mark would be attacked.

It's amazing how Mark's one Impedimenta spell helped buy time for Crispe and the Order.

Voldemort comes in to attack Dumbledore. I hope that the Headmaster is all right.

But what happened with Crispe? You leave us hanging as to why she didn't defend herself. Something's been suspicious about her the entire fic. I assume that you'll explain what happened to her.

Keep up the good work! As usual, I eagerly await the next chapter.

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124098Chapter: 28
Wow, that was an amazing fight scene. And having Mark lead Bill and Crispe was brilliant. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. That was just excellent and I really don't have much more to say.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-06-15
Reviewid: 124049Chapter: 27
I'm happy the Dung "thing" is cleared up, so that's why he's visited the house. I don't exactly go for the portkey theory, but than again we don't really know how it works, so anything can be possible.

I'm looking forward to see how their attack on the house goes...

Reviewer: GenesseDate: 2005-06-14
Reviewid: 124002Chapter: 27
I know it's not a popular opinion, but I like Mundungus a lot, so I'm glad that you had McGonagall clear up his purposes in the books. But maybe that's a red herring. Poor Mark! I liked the description that going back to Domus Draconis turned his heart to ice. That was a nice little detail.

Reviewer: Georgia RussellDate: 2005-06-12
Reviewid: 123804Chapter: 13
This is after the fact for you have added more chapters; yet I wanted you to know that I have enjoyed reading this story very much and want to know how it ends. It is interesting, it flows well, it has excitement and all that. You can write! Aren't you excited? How I wish I could! Keep it up

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-06-11
Reviewid: 123713Chapter: 27
Another interesting, albeit short, chapter!

Oh, so you're not going to explain how Mark activated the second Portkey. It appears to be some sort of wandless magic. Meanwhile, there was some good info about the underage use of Portkeys.

Mark still seems to be suspicious of Dung as well as Professor Crispe. Like the other reviewers, I bet that Crispe will be important in the next chapter.

As usual, good chapter, and I can't wait until you post the next one.

Reviewer: magicaljulesDate: 2005-06-10
Reviewid: 123685Chapter: 17
Yay! Here I am! :-)

I'm so glad I finally got a chance to leave a review for this chapter, because I've read it about three times now! Hee.

My favorite bits and pieces:

>>The three of them grinned happily as Mark’s mother buried her head in her hands in exasperation and exclaimed, “Wizards!”<< Hee! I love Mark's mother's exasperation! It's good-natured. :-)

>>Tim had sent him a book on exploding potions. Mark grinned even more widely now, already planning new pranks. When he heard the door open behind him, he quickly stuffed the book beneath the other presents.<< I love this, because I wish that was how Harry could spend his time at Hogwarts. Mark is pretty involved in the war to not be in the trio or a member of the Order, no matter how much his parents and Harry want to keep him out of it, but he is still young and lighthearted, and I wish Harry could get some of that back.

>>“Oh no, Mark, you’re not going to mess with this,” he said. “This is war stuff, and you shouldn’t worry about that. Just forget it.”<< Ooooh, Harry should know better than to try to get Mark to stay out of it, because he hates when people do the same to him! *shakes head* And I'm really on the fence about Dung. Can't tell if he's just a shady good guy, or if he really is a bad guy (in your story). Good job with that, Birgit!

>>He couldn’t picture Snape’s face with any expression other than a sneer or scowl.<< Hee! No joke, I can't picture it either! I am very glad Mark felt something went right for him, though, and I'm glad someone was able to make Snape proud-ish. :-)

Thanks for another brilliant chapter, Birgit!

I'll hopefully get to the next one, soon!

:wub:,

Jules

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-06-10
Reviewid: 123658Chapter: 27
Okay. The Portkey thing. That was a great idea to think that there would be harmful affects to someone taking a portkey in addition to the general feelings of queasiness.

Why do I think that whatever is going on with Professor Crispe will come out next chapter, or at least you'll tell us more about it.

Reviewer: ArimalkaDate: 2005-06-10
Reviewid: 123558Chapter: 27
AHHHHH!!!! Okay, now it's out of my system. Another brilliant chapter. Oh my goodness, I'm so worried about Harry! And I have this feeling we're going to be finding something out about Professor Crispe soon...

Reviewer: aylaDate: 2005-06-03
Reviewid: 123277Chapter: 26
I really enjoyed reading your stories. They had me sitting on the edge of my seat :D Keep up the wonderful work, you have a great way with words ;)

I can't wait until the next installments, I'll be looking for them :D

Reviewer: aylaDate: 2005-06-03
Reviewid: 123264Chapter: 24
I never laughed so hard in my life! Great Writing! :D

Reviewer: aylaDate: 2005-06-03
Reviewid: 123262Chapter: 21
Absolutely brilliant! ;D Talk about palpations. Ilove a great story, marvelous!!!

Reviewer: CybčleDate: 2005-05-31
Reviewid: 123124Chapter: 26
Another very good chapter! ^^
You're just great!

Reviewer: CootiePatootieDate: 2005-05-31
Reviewid: 123112Chapter: 26
Poor Mark. He takes so much on himself. He just can't give himself a break and realize he's only 11, can he? Of course, neither can Harry.
I can't wait to see what happens as we continue this exciting story.

Reviewer: MollyDate: 2005-05-30
Reviewid: 123087Chapter: 13
I have enjoyed the two other stories that came before this one. Thanks so much, and keep wrighting!

Reviewer: ArimalkaDate: 2005-05-30
Reviewid: 123079Chapter: 26
*falls over and dies* Oh my god, what a fantastic chapter. I think this is your best one yet. I love how you showed Mark's feelings. I felt so bad for him I almost cried. It's ironic that he finally got to see Domus Draconis. heh. =/

Reviewer: LizDate: 2005-05-28
Reviewid: 122960Chapter: 26
Ahh! Another cliff hanger!

This chapter was one of your best yet, and so packed with emotions. Mark's thoughts about dying, and how he was going to die were so matter of fact and heart wrenching, and when he couldn't even wipe the tears away from his eyes... Just perfectly depicted. You really show, rather than tell with your writing (to quote many an english teacher...) and really make the reader feel what your characters do. Reading this story is an emotional experience.

I like the way that the Death Eaters really aren't the most intelligent people in the world, and how they miss little details that are crucial, like Mark's wand (though he didn't have a chance to use it) and the portkey. I'm assuming that Mark activated the portkey with wandless magic, which is very impressive, but still makes a lot of sense and is entirely in character. Also, it was an interesting touch how Mark threw off the Imperius curse when he was reminded of Harry. : )I guess love really does prevail.

Thanks for another wonderful chapter, I'm already anticipating the next one.

Liz

Reviewer: de profuundisDate: 2005-05-28
Reviewid: 122902Chapter: 26
hi, i just discovered your story, and just wanted to let you know that you're doing a fantastic job! please keep up the excellent work. -d.p.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-05-27
Reviewid: 122878Chapter: 26
I assume they had a spell to aler them to when somebody portkeyed into the room?

I wonder what will happen know, and hope everything will be fine. Did Mark do something special to activate the portkey or is that how it was supposed to be activated?

Great Chapter, and I'm very much looking forward to the next one.

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-05-27
Reviewid: 122877Chapter: 26
Well, at least Mark has finally found out what is inside Domus Draconis -- the hard way.

Just as with Sirius, the Death Eaters take Mark because of his relationship to Harry. So Mark has been unable to prevent the Death Eaters from finding out that he is related to him.

Mark's ability to throw of the Imperius curse comes in handy. But we see that he is the victim of a little bad timing.

This chapter is titled, "The Portkey," and we see that there are two Portkeys here. The first one takes Mark and Harry from Hogwarts to Domus Draconis, and the second presumably takes Mark right back to Hogwarts, apparently to Dumbledore's office. We'll see if that's where Mark ends up. I can't wait to read the next chapter and find out!

Reviewer: magicteenDate: 2005-05-27
Reviewid: 122840Chapter: 26
YAY! Let Mark be the hero and save Harry! He deserves to be the good boy for a change! Brill chapter as always and PLEASE write more!

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2005-05-27
Reviewid: 122838Chapter: 26
Good chapter! You've kept the suspense going nicely. I like the reason that Mark is able to break the Imperius curse (thinking of Harry) and the idea of different strengths of Imperius curse is very clever too.

I half wish that Harry and Mark could have put up a better fight. Harry might be a match for two Death Eaters in good circumstances, although he was indeed at a decisive disadvantage and his capture was believable. And I suspect that making Harry too good would deflect attention away from the focus of the story, which is Mark of course.

Mark's thought processes have been done well again. You really capture his fear and his regret. Really well done!

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-05-27
Reviewid: 122764Chapter: 26
Okay, now I'm completely confused, and whatever theories that I may have had have gone out the window.

I really thought that your description of Mark under the Imperius curse was interesting, if a tad confusing, but that's probably due to my rushing through things instead of reading them carefully, like I did last chapter. It made sense reading it a second time.

I understand that it's an important part of the plot, but would the Deatheaters allow Mark to be able to look out the window?

I also think that how the portkey was activated was good, and almost canonish in a way. After all, all the spell is *Portus* so, that means that the location is within the intent of the spell caster. So since it was already a portkey...Sorry, I'll stop rambling now. Anyway, great chapter and I'm looking forward to the next one.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-05-26
Reviewid: 122719Chapter: 25
An exam for broomstick practise, interesting, though in a way it makes sense, that to be allowed to fly unsupervised they want to make sure they know how to fly well.

While the dark side doesn't need a symbol, and it probally would be a disadvantage for them to have one. A symbol still can strike fear in people's hearts, something the dark side tries to do.

Hmm, Domus Draconis is near where Mark lives, was the whole point in breaching Hogwarts just to get at Mark?

A Portkey!? How did it get into Hogwarts???


Great Chapter,

Gryfny

Reviewer: WardDate: 2005-05-22
Reviewid: 122596Chapter: 13
Keep writeing this story

Reviewer: HayleyDate: 2005-05-22
Reviewid: 122588Chapter: 25
~WOW!!! Awesome chapter...thanks so much about the cliffhanger, I really appreciate it!
This was a really cool chapter!!!
Please update soon!!!!!~

~Luv Hailz~

Reviewer: ArimalkaDate: 2005-05-19
Reviewid: 122459Chapter: 25
Wow! I've been reading this story straight through as often as I could for the past two days, and I'm positively addicted! I've grown so fond of Mark, and I do hope that Portkey (as I am assuming it is) has nothing too bad in store for him. Though since it is apparently nearing the end of the year, I'd say a Harry & Co. vs Voldy confrontation is inevitable. Also, like another reader said, I really like powerful!Harry. This is quite silly, but I always picture him as being *quite nice-looking* when he's all determined, if you get what I mean. haha

Reviewer: CybčleDate: 2005-05-19
Reviewid: 122438Chapter: 25
Hi Birgit!
It's always a pleasure to read a new chapter of this story. ^^ Hope you won't keep us waiting for too long before the next one... I'm sure Mark and Harry will be alright at the end but still, I'm worried about them now!
See you soon.
Cyb.

Reviewer: saraDate: 2005-05-19
Reviewid: 122437Chapter: 25
Wow what a cliffhanger! I'm desperately waiting for the next chapter!

Reviewer: saraDate: 2005-05-19
Reviewid: 122432Chapter: 13
Hi Birgit, I like your story very much, it's extremely well written and Mark is a fascinating character. Keep writing please!

Reviewer: sarahpotterDate: 2005-05-18
Reviewid: 122382Chapter: 25
Wow! This story just keeps getting better and better! I can't wait until you update again so I can find out what happened! Update soon please!

Reviewer: MiriamDate: 2005-05-18
Reviewid: 122306Chapter: 25
Oh, dear! What has happened to Mark?

Please write the next chapter soon!

-----Miriam

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-05-18
Reviewid: 122293Chapter: 25
Oooh, a cliffie! What a clever trap! Assuming that your other reviewers are right in that the Potion is really a Portkey, we can see why it worked -- Mark definitely enjoys Potions!

Flying exams -- these aren't explained in canon. We have no idea how they work. Apparently in your fic each first year misses another class in order to have an individual exam. And thus we know that Mark is indeed the target of the trap.

I can't wait for the next chapter -- and the resolution of this cliffie!

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2005-05-18
Reviewid: 122260Chapter: 25
What a darn clever trick! I'm really impressed that you thought of it but I also feel really angry at whoever left it there for Mark. They must have known him rather well... hmmm.

I love powerful!Harry. We don't really see this from him in canon because it's his POV. That and the fact that this is now his sixth year make it eminently believable, especially from the POV of an eleven-year-old. Yet, it's still great to see it.

For some reason, I really liked the addition of Madam Hooch too. I feel like I haven't heard from her in ages. I guess she rarely gets any lines in canon these days. Or maybe it's just me!

Also, I really love the descriptive work in this line:

"Mark felt the warmth of the fire as he peered into the cauldron. A thick green liquid was bubbling in it, and clouds of vile-smelling steam came off the surface."

I could really visualise it. Nice work!

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-05-17
Reviewid: 122251Chapter: 25
Oh wow! I was right about that tunnel. Well, I knew that already, since you told me, but it's always nice to have varification.

Good chapter, as always. There are a couple of things that got me, though. Very minor. When Robin is talking about Mark's arm shaking, it isn't really clear whose are he's talking about. I mean he could be talking about his own arm. But that's just nitpikiness.

All right, so that was just one thing.

“Eighty-eight percent, Mr Evans,” Madam Hooch said, beaming at him. “Congratulations.” I so expected you to say 87%. I've still got 87 on the brain apparently.

I liked the description of Nick floating on top of the desk, and Mark thinking that someone would get cramped doing that.

Mark seems to be sick for some reason. I could be wrong on this, but I'm going to ramble for a few minutes. He got cramped up in History, yet he had only been their for half the class. I suppose it could be from flying the broom around. But then at the beginning his arm was shaking. But that could be from being nervous about reading the paper. I don't know.

I imagine that the cauldron was a Portkey, but it seems rather odd place for a portkey. If it was like the TriWizard Cup/Portkey, and it's meant to bring someone to the Death Eaters, then how would they know that someone was going to go up there, and how would they know that it was the person they wanted, unless they were just looking for a hostage. If it was a portkey for someone expecting it to be a portkey, it seemed rather dangerous to be a portkey, as Mark seemed certain that it was about to explode. Unless it isn't a portkey at all, in which case I have no clue what I'm talking about.

Reviewer: GioiaDate: 2005-05-17
Reviewid: 122240Chapter: 25
I'm continuing to enjoy this very much! Thanks for the update.

Reviewer: LizDate: 2005-05-17
Reviewid: 122238Chapter: 25
Ahh! What an evil cliff hanger!

This was a lovely chapter, although not too much happened. Your writing just makes everything flow so well that this story really is a pleasure to read. Mark's flying exam was funny, and I loved how nervous he was; I'm used to reading about Harry flying, and not being nervous at all. I suppose it's because this story is written so well that I sometimes confuse it with the books and wonder why the main character doesn't share the same traits as Harry...
I wonder what's happened with Domus Draconis, and if it really is a Death Eater hide out. It seems quite logical, but then again, Mark's perspective is not always right. And I also wonder who put that potion in the room, and where the Portkey is going to take Mark. I hope the next chapter will have some of the answers!
I'm really enjoying this story, and I think it's one of the best ones on the Quill, so thanks for writing!
Liz

Reviewer: AstridDate: 2005-05-17
Reviewid: 122230Chapter: 25
A portkey! Poor Mark, I guess as a first year he wouldn't know too much about those. I can't believe you're going to leave us hanging, and after a short chapter. :-( Please update again soon, this is one of my favorite stories!

Reviewer: GioiaDate: 2005-05-16
Reviewid: 122151Chapter: 13
I've discovered your stories this weekend and have been reading them straight through...stopping only to email my friends to get on the ball and start reading them, too!

In these last months before HBP, I was searching for fics with real canon-ish interpretations of the characters. I am especially fond of Planets, Brains and Curses for the FANTASTIC alternate views to OotP.

In this particular story, I'm just adoring Mark Evans. he reminds me of a cross between Colin Creevy (in regards to his eagerness about the wizarding world), Harry and Hermione.

Thanks so much for all the hard work you've invested!

~ Gioia

Reviewer: love/hate relationshipDate: 2005-05-15
Reviewid: 122129Chapter: 24
I love how you made Hermione slightly psychotic. It's very realistic and funny.

Reviewer: NARDate: 2005-05-04
Reviewid: 121370Chapter: 24
This is a quite nice chapter. My favourite part is "Mark bit back a word that he had only learned recently from Robin and which fit the situation very well."

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-05-03
Reviewid: 121279Chapter: 24
---“And why did that have such a disastrous effect on your potion?” Snape asked coldly.
“Because the entropy-altering effects of the slug need to be neutralised with dragon blood,” Mark replied at once. How could he have been so stupid to forget that?---

While Mark messed up, I liked the fact that he was still able to answer what went wront right away.

---Mark shuffled his feet and summoned his courage. “Can you make a revision schedule for me?”--- :D

As usual your chapters are great, I'm not surprised that Mark wasn't able to do a "Stupefy", while he may be a fast learner, he still in first year after all, I'm just slightly surprised that Professor Crispe thought he might be able to do it.

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-05-01
Reviewid: 121176Chapter: 24
Very interesting chapter. Mark's acting like a normal Hogwarts student and being treated like one. I'd think from Mark's point of view, Snape was being unfair, but from the observation standpoint you're putting the reader in, Snape is being like McGonagall, tough, but fair.

Oddly enough, this chapter reflects what's going on in my life. I come to try to catch up on fics after revising, and what do I read about? Other people revising.

Anyway, sorry it's taken me a bit to review you.

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-04-30
Reviewid: 121081Chapter: 24
Another good chapter, as always. I can see why this chapter is called "Schedules" -- it seems that after Easter every student is very busy. And Mark, with his extra Potions lessons with Snape and Defense lessons with Crispe, is especially busy. I can see why he'd need Hermione to give him a revision schedule!

I agree with the other reviewers -- his extra lessons are supposed to be a secret, so how can Hermione schedule them for him?

Keep up the good work, and as always I look forward to the next chapter.

Reviewer: CybčleDate: 2005-04-30
Reviewid: 121048Chapter: 24
Oh, you published this just in time for me to read it before leaving (I'm going to spend two weeks at my sister's again)! ^_^
I still like your story a lot. Hermione is so in character with those schedules! lol (I've never understood why she has to revise so much time in advance when she usually knows everything even before the teachers say it!) And Professor Snape is perfectly in character, too - so frightning and unfair... In short, you're very good at characterization.
See you soon.
Cybčle.

Reviewer: nightcrawler1089Date: 2005-04-29
Reviewid: 120978Chapter: 24
Nice ending. I also like how Mark is caught between Snape and Crispe. Update soon, please! :-)

Reviewer: AstridDate: 2005-04-29
Reviewid: 120967Chapter: 24
Oh, poor Mark! I like how you've been able to take this incredibly gifted boy and put him on even footing with his classmates by adding the exams. And I love how he gathers his courage to talk to Hermione. Too precious!

Reviewer: GenesseDate: 2005-04-29
Reviewid: 120923Chapter: 24
>>“I fail to see how preparing for an exam is any different from preparing for an attack on your life.”<< Dun-dun-dun!

This was an especially foreshadowing-riddled chapter, wasn't it? :D I relly liked the circular movement of the chapter. But Mark isn't going to tell Hermione to include his extra classes with Crispe on his revision schedule, is he?

Reviewer: LizDate: 2005-04-29
Reviewid: 120905Chapter: 24
Heh, what an interesting circle Mark came in through this chapter.

I found everything he did really interesting; his outside lessons are really becoming like solid extra classes. I still can't quite figure out Crispe; she seemed like an ordinary strict teacher in this chapter, but in past chapters she's been so different. Oi vey. Anyways, I love the relationship between Snape and Mark; it's quite fascinating. Snape can be almost kind to Mark at times, and then turns around and is mean again. He seems to really respect Mark's ability though, which is very in character for him. I love how you are developing him, and I wonder if he'll ever learn to be kind to Mark.

Thanks for another awesome chapter!
Liz

Reviewer: TiffanyDate: 2005-04-24
Reviewid: 120519Chapter: 1
I love you so much. I can't believe there is a sequal. Will you marry me? (Just Kidding)

Reviewer: fersnugriniffleDate: 2005-04-16
Reviewid: 119744Chapter: 23
Holy mom. :D Your story is way awesome. It's so very creative, it reminds me of AtE. I love being suprised at almost every chapter. I disagree somewhat with your characterization of Harry, it doesn't seem to be spot on, but he's a toughie. And since it's from Mark's viewpoint, it doesn't matter too much. Thank you for writing this way spiff story to help me live through the boredom at work. :D

Reviewer: AstridDate: 2005-04-15
Reviewid: 119665Chapter: 23
Curious, most curious.

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2005-04-13
Reviewid: 119528Chapter: 5
Really good fic. I'm afraid I burst in to hysterics at this bit of the sorting song though.

So now I will repeat my words,
And you better listen well.
If I see no improvement,
I'll make next year's Sorting hell!

You’re warned.

It's really well done and a great point but I couldn't help but imagine Ron with his mouth full a few minutes later going, "Ow kunnit fred unus ifzat?" because its just a hat and its threatening the whole of Hogwarts. And the potential for mayhem is brilliant! But its only a hat!!

Yes, I am small child.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-04-13
Reviewid: 119499Chapter: 23
First of all I like the way you mentioned in the last chapter that most of the older students stay, making it seem more plausible that JK didn't mention anything about going home for Easter.

This is a great chapter and the dialouge between Mark and his parents are great. And the mystery of the Domus Draconis is heating up, can't wait to find out more about it.

(Birgit, congrats on finishing writing the story, I know it will take a while for the whole thing to be posted but it's a start.)

Reviewer: LizDate: 2005-04-13
Reviewid: 119465Chapter: 23
And the plot thickens...
This was a wonderful chapter; Mark's interactions with his parents were so interesting. Although it is in his nature to be accomodating, I found it so interesting how he worked so hard not to mention magic to keep his father happy. His mother's intervention was needed, and I'm glad you had his parents end up supporting him again. Everything involving the house is perplexing; I don't think that Dung is a criminal, and I certainly don't think that Malfoy is related to him, or would at least be bragging about being related to him...
I'm already looking forward to the next chapter, this story just keeps getting more and more interesting!
Liz

Reviewer: CybčleDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119426Chapter: 23
Hi!
I was wondering what to read tonight and came to the Sugar Quill with the intention to read the first story that would seem interesting to me... Then I saw you had updated "Domus Draconis" so, of course, I immediately knew what to read!
What could I say? It's still great and I'm really impressed on the way you write about Mark's thoughts, remembering he's only 11 (I was impressed as well about your little Harry's thoughts in "The Godfather", by the way). You're really doing a very good job.
See you soon.
Cyb.

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119321Chapter: 23
Interesting chapter as always!

First, you begin with Mark spending the Easter hols at home. I notice that Mark avoids discussing magic in front of his father, just as Harry avoids magic in front of the Dursleys. Of course, he does so for a different reason. I'm glad to see Mark's dad show acceptance of the world he has left behind years ago and knows that the safest place for Mark is Hogwarts.

Then it's back to the house again. Third cousin of Malfoy, eh? *runs off to check the family tree with Malfoy in OotP* Is it possible that the cousin to which Tim refers is Sirius? Come to think of it, Sirius fits the description of not being in Voldie's inner circle. Indeed, since Sirius was in the Order, this fits Norwegian Blue's theory below that the Order gave the house to Voldie. Of course Sirius is dead, but one can get around that.

As usual, I look forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119286Chapter: 23
Yay, first review of new chapter!

Mark kind of tiptoeing around his father worked out really well for the story and fit his personality to a t.

I've just noticed that Mark excels in Potions, arguably the most science-y subject there is at Hogwarts. So, given the first installment of this universe, Mark is an Artist being a Scientist. I know this isn't anything earthshattering, to you, especially, but, hey, I've had a tough day and I'm proud of myself :).

I love this paragraph:<<His friends didn’t let go of him until they were in the secret room behind the mirror on the fourth floor. There the three of them flopped down on the old sofa and had a brief wrestling match as Mark tried to push both of his friends off at either side, while they in turn tried to squeeze him between them.>> I don't know what it is, but it made me smile. Maybe it was because of Mark sort of finding his balance with his parents, and then just behaving like a normal 11 year old with his friends.

Tim. I like Tim. I've recently developed a fascination with Theodore Nott, and the posibility of him being a "good" Slytherin, so I love reading about his brother, because I'm getting the feeling I'm getting about Mark vs. Harry, where Tim acts the way he does because he had some of the things that Theodore either didn't have or didn't choose to have, or make use of, or make use of them in different ways then Tim has. Of course, we don't know what Theodore's really like, *eyes calender* but going with the fanon version, I'd say you've got down.

I'm not sure what to make of Dung now. I'm assuming that giving the house to Voldemort was a trick of the Order's, and if it is, I'm going to be amused reading that part, but on the other hand, the way you ended the chapter makes me want to test other theories.

-NB, who has spent so much time writing this post that it is too late too do laundry. Oh darn. She is disapointed.

Reviewer: CybčleDate: 2005-04-09
Reviewid: 119083Chapter: 22
Hi!
Sorry I'm reviewing so late. I've been at my sister's for two weeks and there's not the Internet there.
Your story is still very interesting and, as usual, I'm curious to know what will happen next.
See you soon.
Cybčle.

Reviewer: EriDate: 2005-04-02
Reviewid: 118488Chapter: 13
I am enjoying your story!

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-03-28
Reviewid: 117896Chapter: 22
The Phoenix's veil is a very interesting idea. I hope you will develop the idea even further.

As in canon I think you try to imply that it's something in the eyes that helps people throw off the curse.

So was that how they found it, by knowing there was some kind of passage and searching for it, interesting.

Great chapter.

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