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Review(s): 22
| Reviewer: Polaris (the "Author") | Date: 2004-07-12 |
| Reviewid: 91917 | Chapter: 1 |
Just to answer someone's question: I'm not the same Polaris from ff.net ... hope there wasn't too much confusion or anything...
anyhoo thanks for the reviews (and criticism! bring it on! i like it )
maybe it's a bit too late to post... oh well :-)
- Polaris :o) |
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| Reviewer: Ella | Date: 2004-07-06 |
| Reviewid: 90994 | Chapter: 1 |
I liked it! I think you got Hermione's apprehension around Sirius spot on.
<<when innocence had never been threatened and magic was just a far away dream...>>
I loved this line, although I think the ellipses at the end of it and Sirius's line <<as a telltale shadow drifted along the shoreline...>> were a little much. I think a simple period would seem a little less- like you were trying too hard. But, then again, I'm being a tad hypocritical here as I have an ellipses addiction myself. :P
Anywho, I loved it. Great first story on the quill and hopefully there's more where it came from!
(Oh, and cute title!)
~Ella |
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| Reviewer: Pooca | Date: 2004-07-03 |
| Reviewid: 90488 | Chapter: 1 |
| This was incredibly good... the relationship was exactly what one would think, their characters were spot on... it was bittersweet, well-written. |
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| Reviewer: Eurydice | Date: 2004-07-02 |
| Reviewid: 90285 | Chapter: 1 |
| Very nice. The characterization is dead-on, and the whole thing is extremely well-written. The tension, the dark, the worry, the tea... very, very nice. |
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| Reviewer: Katie Bell | Date: 2004-07-02 |
| Reviewid: 90224 | Chapter: 1 |
This was real good. Its a very well written piece, I can't wait to read more from you!
The ending brought tears to my eyes. Nice Job.
~~Katie Bell |
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| Reviewer: Gyakutenno | Date: 2004-07-02 |
| Reviewid: 90202 | Chapter: 1 |
| And along comes Fate and screws things up some more. Anyway, poor Hermione! Treating him like he's made of glass. So awkward! Freaking out like that! 'Scuse me if I seem hyper, it's early in the morning and I get hyper for some reason if I wake up early. Anyway, it was rather jarring at the beginning 'cos I hadn't read the summary and thought Harry was so upset 'cos of... the incident. I'd thought it was after OotP, you know... so I was WAY more freaked out than Hermione to have Sirius turn up like that, suffice it to say. |
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| Reviewer: Birgit | Date: 2004-07-02 |
| Reviewid: 90190 | Chapter: 1 |
Brilliant story. I was hooked from the first few words, about the snowflake. First story or not, you definitely know how to write!
However, the very best part of the story is the interaction between Sirius and Hermione. Both are so much in character. A midnight talk between the two of them, that just doesn't work, and you portraited that very well.
My favourite line:
>>She pursed her lips, and, for a minute, she reminded him too much of Molly.<< |
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| Reviewer: Pineapple Queen | Date: 2004-07-02 |
| Reviewid: 90143 | Chapter: 1 |
I read it twice. =)
Loved this moment! Exceptionally good for a first fic, also--congrats on getting in SQ! I like how Hermione feels sort of "foolish" around Sirius--how I would feel, too! Again, you've portrayed both of them perfectly. I also like the little James flashback--nice touch.
Are you, by any chance, the same Polaris on ff.net who co-writes PPC with AriaStar? Just wondering, because I recognize your name...
-Pineapple Queen |
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| Reviewer: Muggle Molly | Date: 2004-07-02 |
| Reviewid: 90126 | Chapter: 1 |
| Well done! I knew from the first sentence that this was going to be great. Please write more, I promise to read it. |
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| Reviewer: Grace | Date: 2004-07-02 |
| Reviewid: 90119 | Chapter: 1 |
| Very, very nice. Lovely writing, I really hope you write more. I've always kind of wondered about how Ron/Hermione related to Sirius, having spent so much time with him. You covered that very believably and IC. Love your name, btw. It's the name of one of my favorite bands. :-) |
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| Reviewer: CM | Date: 2004-07-02 |
| Reviewid: 90109 | Chapter: 1 |
| Damned good piece of writing! Very well done indeed, I hope to read more from you in the future. |
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| Reviewer: Felina Black | Date: 2004-07-01 |
| Reviewid: 89914 | Chapter: 1 |
| So, this is your first fic, eh? Well done! The characterizations are well-written and the dialogue is solid. If anybody at Grimmauld Place (other than Harry, of course) were going to have sleepless nights, it would definitely have been Sirius and Hermione. A truly believable Missing Moment. Keep writing! :) |
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| Reviewer: Author By Night | Date: 2004-07-01 |
| Reviewid: 89903 | Chapter: 1 |
| That was very good! I thought Hermione had a point, though - where was Sirius when Harry was laying in bed, confused, for twelve hours? But Sirius also had one... he probably knew that what Harry needed *was* his privacy. But anyway, you had a very good way of portraying both characters. And the last line was so sweet! |
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| Reviewer: maggie | Date: 2004-07-01 |
| Reviewid: 89900 | Chapter: 1 |
I love Sirius-talking-to-Harry's-friends-stories!! And I really liked this one. Keep on writing!!
maggie |
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| Reviewer: hairy_hen | Date: 2004-07-01 |
| Reviewid: 89869 | Chapter: 1 |
| Awesome, excellent job. I've never read any stuff with Hermione and Sirius before, and to be honest I wasn't sure I wanted to, because they don't really get along, and I always take Sirius' side. But this was very well done. A good amount of awkwardness, yet trying hard to get past it. Interesting how Sirius doesn't quite know how to be a father figure--he just hasn't had the experience, though he tries very hard, and he really does understand Harry. I like how you had him thinking of James, and vowing to apply his words to his relationship with Harry. Tragic how they never really got the chance. Great job, I really enjoyed reading this story! |
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| Reviewer: Jules | Date: 2004-07-01 |
| Reviewid: 89822 | Chapter: 1 |
I love this story! It's so beautiful! I got tears in my eyes when Hermione told Sirius that Harry needed him. You've portrayed Hermione and Sirius so in character, and I love how Sirius brought up Hermione calling him Mr. Black in the shrieking shack. You've really got talent, and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Jules |
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