|
| Dumbledore's
Army |
|
|
|
Review(s): 53
| Reviewer: lucydrools | Date: 2007-08-07 |
| Reviewid: 148739 | Chapter: 5 |
| P.S. ..reader two is a jerk. ..i dont know if it's intentional or not..but it's coming across that way. and i wouldn't listen to him if i were you. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: lucydrools | Date: 2007-08-07 |
| Reviewid: 148738 | Chapter: 5 |
| haha... i just read the other reviews and realized that you havent updated in over a year..or two.. and you probably completely forgot about this one... but i think you should reconsider...there's only two chapters left..and you should really think about finishing it. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Reader 2 | Date: 2006-12-24 |
| Reviewid: 146597 | Chapter: 5 |
I thought that the story itself was quite good. There were a few things which initially irked me, until I figured out the reason.
Missing words, articles, particles and the occasional inclusion of things like “more sorry” I initially attributed to idea that you may have been ‘educated’ under a Texas education system. Distracting as these errors were, they didn’t stop me from enjoying the story. However, your math was the key to the answer. You had Ron in detention from 7:00 p.m. to after 11:00 p.m. and referred to it as the better part of three hours. Additionally, most kindergarten children understand that one week is equal to seven days; as I assume you do.
Therefore, I would be most interested in reading the rest of this tale if you decide to complete it after you graduate from primary school; or high school if you are actually in Texas. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Zanthesta | Date: 2005-08-22 |
| Reviewid: 130555 | Chapter: 5 |
| I really like this story. I don't always have the patience for super-multi-chapter sagas but I must admit I'm hooked on this one. PLEASE finish up Saturday and Sunday! I can't wait to find out what happens...well, how it happens, anyway. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Paula | Date: 2005-07-04 |
| Reviewid: 126036 | Chapter: 5 |
Hi Scout,
I love this story! I really like the way you describe their emotions and thoughts so well. PLEASE update soon - I'm dying to read Saturday and Sunday! Cheers.
Paula |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Nundu | Date: 2005-05-22 |
| Reviewid: 122580 | Chapter: 5 |
This is really a nice little story. I like your characterizations, and your premise about Ron and Hermione's hesitancy seems realistic.
You have made a few consistant errors with homonyms (wondering instead of wandering, hear instead of here, for instance) and a few missing apostrophes. I would recommend a closer look by your beta reader for these. They will help your story become stronger.
Keep writing, I like your style! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Angel Street | Date: 2005-05-20 |
| Reviewid: 122491 | Chapter: 5 |
Aww. Sweet. Hopefully it'll be sorted by Sunday.
A really well written little story which I am really enjoying reading.
*ANGEL* |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Artemisa | Date: 2005-05-19 |
| Reviewid: 122454 | Chapter: 5 |
| Wonderful stuff! A bit fluffy with a lot of meat in it at the same time. Seems to be very well thought out. Can't wait for Saturday! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Herm-own-ninny | Date: 2005-05-19 |
| Reviewid: 122417 | Chapter: 2 |
| I like this -- it's lovely. Stylistically, it reminds me a little bit of Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: EvieStark | Date: 2005-05-18 |
| Reviewid: 122266 | Chapter: 5 |
| Oh gosh. I adore this fic so much. Brilliant chapter - I was overjoyed when I saw you updated! Yessss. Anyway, can't wait for Saturday and Sunday! What a long week, huh? (by the way, this makes such a good fic because people can relate to it - we've all had days like this, makes the story much more believable! well done!) |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Pineapple Queen | Date: 2005-05-10 |
| Reviewid: 121772 | Chapter: 4 |
| I was SO happy to see your name on the update list! This was unbelievably sweet. =) |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: wokka42 | Date: 2005-05-09 |
| Reviewid: 121669 | Chapter: 4 |
| Hi Scout! This is a really sweet story, and I'm really enjoying it! I particularly like how you bounce so frequently between Ron and Hermione's perspectives, even during a single moment, without losing the narrative thread - it does a nice job of giving both points of view almost simultaneously, and at the same time gives the story a unique kind of pacing that I like. The humor is lovely too - it's sweet without getting overly so. And I really appreciate how in-character everyone is, especially Ron and Hermione! You write well, with a simplicity, fluidity and efficiency that's very refreshing when so many fanfic authors seem to feel the need to pack their stories with words ripped from the thesaurus. Keep up the good work! I'm looking forward to Friday... |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Miss Gypsy | Date: 2005-05-08 |
| Reviewid: 121585 | Chapter: 4 |
Finally, finally, FINALLY! An update! This is a wonderful treat.
I adore your stories. I love the way you write, its the most interesting sort of prose. Excellent, please update again soon.
~Miss Gypsy |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: EvieStark | Date: 2005-05-07 |
| Reviewid: 121549 | Chapter: 4 |
| OH, I adore this fic! I'm dying for the next installment, please keep it up! I think I love it so much because it's very realistic and I can relate to Ron and Hermione eben more, because I've been there! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Ford Prefect | Date: 2005-05-05 |
| Reviewid: 121436 | Chapter: 2 |
Great teenage angst, melodrama and all that hormonal-crazed nonsense I remember back in dark ages. One thing though, and I apologise for the nit-picking Hermione-like complaint, but you tend to use the word your when you mean you're as in:
"...And what if you try and do something about it but it turns out your wrong..."
The story will read better if the grammar errors are removed. Spell check wouldn't catch this, but grammar check would.
Cheers and keep on writing.
Ford |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Caitlin | Date: 2004-08-19 |
| Reviewid: 97927 | Chapter: 3 |
| Oh My God man, this fanfic is hellagood! It's my favourite style of writing please please please write more? Love ya work. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Heleen | Date: 2004-08-19 |
| Reviewid: 97883 | Chapter: 2 |
| Please, please, please write on! I honestly, turely check this every week if you by any chance came to updating- but none yet. So please, again, please don't stop now! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: sweetie | Date: 2004-07-16 |
| Reviewid: 92715 | Chapter: 3 |
ooooooh! keep going! this is really getting good! write fast! (sorry, no pressure, take your time). great job! Harry is actually quite funny in this chapter.
"Harry’s lips barely move as he whispers faintly “I was thinking that maybe you should take her flowers whenever you decide to –”
“Bloody Hell Harry!” Ron whispers furiously."
EXCELLENT!
luv sweetie |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: St. Margarets | Date: 2004-07-16 |
| Reviewid: 92684 | Chapter: 3 |
This was a wonderful chapter. Harry and Ron were great. I like Ron's stumbling speech and Harry's thoughts during it. Going through the day with the trio is always a treat. I liked McGonagall's cameo.
You are really building up the tension. It's only Wednesday--poor Ron and Hermione can they (or we) stand the wait? |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: St. Margarets | Date: 2004-07-13 |
| Reviewid: 92024 | Chapter: 2 |
This is so interesting--it is almost like a poem in some of the evocotive sentences which gives if a very emotive tone. The present tense must be difficult to write in--yet you are pulling it off quite nicely. It's funny, I used the same structure for an H/G fic--I called it Six Days. I used alternating first person POV--what an insightful process it was to write that fic. The characters lead me and I followed. I am looking forward to reading yours about R/H and seeing where you take them (or they take you) Already you have built an intensity. One of my reviewers said they didn't think two people could fall in love in a week--I tend to agree with that most of the time--but
sometimes the special couples just do. Looking forward to more. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Narumi | Date: 2004-07-11 |
| Reviewid: 91785 | Chapter: 2 |
| I love this! Your writing style is absolutely wonderful. It's so unique and refreshing after all the start-up writers on this site who are still trying to learn when a semi-colon is appropriate! I've really enjoyed reading all of your other stories, and look forward to the next installment of this one. Keep it up! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Ms C | Date: 2004-07-07 |
| Reviewid: 91177 | Chapter: 2 |
I really love your writing style. I found your previous one-shots frustrating and brilliant in equal measure; to good, but too brief! I prefer this - you're sustaining the tension and my interest and I can't wait for you to update.
Well done. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: story645 | Date: 2004-07-07 |
| Reviewid: 91076 | Chapter: 2 |
| Cool chapter, I like the pacing of the fic, how it all slowly builds up. I like Ron and Hermione's awkward interaction. That he tanked at Quidditch felt really right, even though I felt bad for him. I can relate to Hermione being drained and wanting to cry. Can't wait for the rest of the fic. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: L | Date: 2004-07-07 |
| Reviewid: 91075 | Chapter: 2 |
| I'm really enjoying this, it's very thoughtful. I also like the style you're writing in, very unusual. Great job! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: sunsethill | Date: 2004-07-06 |
| Reviewid: 90970 | Chapter: 2 |
| You have a nice start going here, but I was continually distracted by the mixing up of "your" and "you're" in these chapters. It happened at least five times. You don't want to be breaking the flow in the midst of all that lovely angst. ;-) |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Seaspray | Date: 2004-07-06 |
| Reviewid: 90950 | Chapter: 2 |
| Oh those to are so stupid. Wonderful but stupid. I love how you portray the tension between the two of them, how much they love each other just shines through your words. I loved when Harry pushes Ron into Hermione. Poor Harry that situation must really be annoying for him. I want more. Keep writing! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Ro | Date: 2004-07-06 |
| Reviewid: 90921 | Chapter: 2 |
| It is a mark of how very well-written this fic is that I continued reading beyond all of the apostrophe mistakes. Kudos for that. Work on the possessives. I look forward to reading more. :) |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: sweetie | Date: 2004-07-05 |
| Reviewid: 90805 | Chapter: 2 |
oooh...this is sooo sweet! keep writing! i can't wait until the end of the week!
R/H forever!
luv sweetie |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Allison | Date: 2004-07-05 |
| Reviewid: 90764 | Chapter: 2 |
| Amazing! I just love it! You really know how to see inside a character and write what you feel should happen. Please keep writing! I wanna know what happens throughout the week! :D |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Heleen. | Date: 2004-07-05 |
| Reviewid: 90745 | Chapter: 2 |
| Oh dear, and we still have a whole week to go huh? How are you going to keep them far apart enough till then is beyond me. But I really love this story, and hell, I'd do anything in the world to be Hermione right now. ;) |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Heleen. | Date: 2004-07-05 |
| Reviewid: 90742 | Chapter: 1 |
| I have to say I've never read a fic written this way- and I also have to say I really like this. It's really good written and I can tell that I'm hooked already. Great job! Keep up the good work! :) |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: whizbee | Date: 2004-07-05 |
| Reviewid: 90669 | Chapter: 2 |
| The story is progressing wonderfully. You had me on edge at the part where Hermione catches up with Ron after practice, and after the numerous R/H fics I've read where this happens, that's quite a feat :). As a result, you have successfully managed to make me hate Malfoy even more than I already do. Cheers. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Pineapple Queen | Date: 2004-07-04 |
| Reviewid: 90581 | Chapter: 1 |
I'm so happy to see something else from you, your style is so distinctive. Lovely piece...it has perfect characterizations of both Ron and Hermione. Can't wait for the next installment!
-PQ |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: shooting star | Date: 2004-07-04 |
| Reviewid: 90563 | Chapter: 1 |
"No, his feelings have more often than not been expressed through an action of some sort, like attempting a spell on someone who has made him angry, or flailing his arms about when he gets excited, or throwing a grape when he wants to make peace."
oh! what a beautiful line, i am enjoying your unique style immensely! you are very talented! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Sehila | Date: 2004-07-04 |
| Reviewid: 90494 | Chapter: 1 |
| Whoa! I normally don't comment a lot, but I had to comment on this. It is soooo good! You're a great writer. One can really sense from your writing and your words that both Hermione and Ron are a little confused. This is great. Keep it up! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Genesse | Date: 2004-07-03 |
| Reviewid: 90378 | Chapter: 1 |
| Very good! I love your effect of using the present tense. Usually when others use the present tense it creats a sense of urgency, but your story had the opposite effect. Post more soon! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: whizbee | Date: 2004-07-03 |
| Reviewid: 90343 | Chapter: 1 |
| Very nice! You captured Ron and Hermione's hesitation very well. Lots of authors overdramatize their relationship, which isn't very realistic. You don't do this, but you do show the awkwardness that exists. It's a sweet fic. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
|
|
