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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Wary of the Wolf
Review(s): 16

Reviewer: AlphieDate: 2005-08-29
Reviewid: 131142Chapter: 1
Very nice indeed! And interesting perspective on Remus' thoughts after OotP. I don't think I've ever seen this approach before. I would love to see this submitted to the Werewolf Registry fiction archive.

Reviewer: NicoleDate: 2005-01-15
Reviewid: 110949Chapter: 1
This is wonderfully written, Delleve. The battle for control between Remus and the wolf, and the way you showed how tempting it would be for him to not take the potion was extremely effective. It's very easy to believe that Remus would think about revenge, and the wolf, of course, is the perfect way that he could take that revenge. I'm pleased that Remus the man won out over the wolf though.

Extremely effective, and well done!

Reviewer: Frankie BDate: 2004-12-28
Reviewid: 108962Chapter: 1
Delleve, this is a brilliant insight into Remus' mind. I love how you have shown the duality of his persona, the wolf and the man, fighting for control at the same time. . . and the strength of the man who has to continually keep the wolf at bay. Brilliant, darling, absolutely brilliant!

Reviewer: SennaDate: 2004-12-26
Reviewid: 108687Chapter: 1
Beautiful.

Reviewer: ChrisDate: 2004-09-20
Reviewid: 98806Chapter: 1
Wow...this is really powerful! I imagine that the thought of allowing himself to become a wolf really would cross his mind during moments of anger and desperation, wouldn't they? That's a really fascinating idea, and you've written it very well. First person POV was a good choice for this story - it makes it more meaningful. Especially at the end.

Very nicely done - I'm looking forward to reading more from you soon!

Reviewer: Jo WickaninnishDate: 2004-07-27
Reviewid: 94116Chapter: 1
"It was tempting … terrifyingly tempting. Whenever I became the wolf I had a feeling of power and independence. There were no rules to follow and no need for politeness. It was a window through which I could release my anger, hatred, and sadness out into the night, away from me ... on other living things."

That's such an interesting idea- I don't know why I've never considered that perhaps somewhere deep down, Remus enjoys the freedom of the wolf, of being the monster everyone claims he is.

Your entire fic has done a phenomenal job of portraying his inner battle. Good job. Hope to read more soon.

Reviewer: onlylonelyDate: 2004-07-26
Reviewid: 94032Chapter: 1
Dunno if you recognize me, but lately I've been in a reviewing kick. I noticed this ficlet and I have to say, I loved the detail you gave in the first paragraph. It was such a visual.

When Remus began thinking about avenging Sirius, I began to panic. I didn't care whether or not Bellatrix was killed, but I knew how guilty Remus would feel later. I didn't want that. When he kept considering the idea, I wanted to jump up and scream, "NO REMUS!" I'm usually not a Remus fan so this is strange behavior on my behalf.

I'm so glad the wolf hadn't won. *sighs in relief*

Reviewer: noname21Date: 2004-07-17
Reviewid: 92777Chapter: 1
this is a powerfully complex tell that is so fun to read! keep up the great work!

Reviewer: NigellaDate: 2004-07-16
Reviewid: 92744Chapter: 1
Hi Delleve! It's great to see this at last, and on your birthday too! First person Remus - wow! - and wonderfully descriptive, emotional writing. I'd never before considered the possibility of him wanting to kill Bellatrix, or of him ever ignoring the Wolfsbane (I'm so glad he took it in the end) - great thoughts, and thank you for sharing them.

Just to echo what others have said about the tenses - the changes are slightly jarring. It's an excellent story as it is, but if you could just even those out, I think it would be practically perfect!

Looking forward to your next submission (have you made any progress with Andromeda and Narcissa?). Good luck!

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-07-16
Reviewid: 92673Chapter: 1
Great story. Really great. I love Lupin's inner battle, and it's very understandable. I also love it that he doesn't give in, and that it is the thought what his friends would do that convinces him. That's a nice reference to the start, where you mention that Lupin didn't kill Peter because of Harry.

One little thing: I'm not sure how you made this html file, but at least some parts of it are Word-made. Maybe you used some automatical clean-up program on the Word-generated file? In any case, it causes the first few paragraphs to be different from the rest. It's quite annoying because it distracts the reader from the actual story. The paragraph about the smoking Wolfsbane Potion is very good, but my attention was unfortunately focused more on the formatting of that paragraph.

I was a bit confused at first by the changing tense, but my confusion disappeared soon enough. You use a very interesting style. Especially the smoke comments give the story structure and add some nice detail and a mysterious atmosphere at the same time.

Looking forward to read more of your work!

Reviewer: TalimeekaDate: 2004-07-16
Reviewid: 92667Chapter: 1
Hey, Delleve! Congrats! Your first fic on the Quill is finally up and it's excellent. Your charcterization is great, you really got inside Remus's head. The possibility that Remus would even consider that is disturbing and is a possibility that I never considered before. But you made it entirely believable. Great job!

BTW, Happy Birthday! Hope you're having fun and I really hope it didn't rain!

Reviewer: ivy & GracieDate: 2004-07-16
Reviewid: 92654Chapter: 1
Happy Birthday to you! And congratulations on your first fic to be posted here.

Now, what we really liked: The use of present tense. This was a pleasant change of pace. Such a deeply intense, personal struggle as the one you've written for Remus is all the more powerful because you've let us struggle through it with him, in his mind. Also, the nature of the struggle itself took us by surprise. Remus is always the one who does the right thing; it's a great idea to have him consider doing the wrong thing, to show us the side of him that wants power and revenge. Great description of the potion too. Your first sentence was such a vivid picture it just sucked us in:

<<The Wolfsbane Potion sat smoking on my bedside table, small droplets of water vapor forming on the outside of the chipped goblet and the smell of something like rotten eggs permeating the air>>

Our only suggestion is that you be careful about mixing your verb tenses. Occasionally, a writer can use it to great effect, but usually it ends up just being jarring. The whole thing would read more smoothly if it didn't jump back and forth.

Having said that, we really look forward to reading more of your stories. You seem to understand Remus so well; we hope you'll continue to write him.

Reviewer: Pineapple QueenDate: 2004-07-16
Reviewid: 92608Chapter: 1
Congrats on getting into the 'Quill! I love Remus fics, and this is a very good one. Nice idea!

-PQ

Reviewer: Hannah (MyOwnLittleWorld)Date: 2004-07-16
Reviewid: 92559Chapter: 1
Hi, remember me from ff.net?! I'm so glad you got this on the Quill! It had better get a good response here, or I'll get angry... (flexes muscles threateningly; remembers she had no muscles and stops) Just so you know, I wrote you up as one of my July nominees in my best fic awards... you should be proud. (o;

Reviewer: CendrillonDate: 2004-07-16
Reviewid: 92553Chapter: 1
Delleve! You made it! Welcome to the Sugar Quill as a fellow author!

I was quite impressed with your first submission. I've never seen a first person fic from Remus's perspective before and it was a great one shot. I can picture Remus wanting to let out his grief and anger through the wolf, but ultimately deciding to do what was right. It's a very apt portrayal of his character.

Anyways, congratulations on your first fic! I hope there are more to come.

Reviewer: lazywitchDate: 2004-07-16
Reviewid: 92552Chapter: 1
Good story. i must say that Remus is one of my favorite characters in fanfiction or cannon. And my does his conscience torment him! keep up the great work!

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