The Sugar Quill
Sugar Quill Community
- S.P.E.W (SQ History)

Fan Fiction and Writing
- Ask Madam Pince
(Story Submissions)
- Floo Network (Links)

Forums

Administrative Links

Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 17

Reviewer: XedraDate: 2005-08-29
Reviewid: 131171Chapter: 1
Spooky good story!

Reviewer: reader2Date: 2005-02-20
Reviewid: 114445Chapter: 1
twisted, but wicked

Reviewer: jazzypomDate: 2004-11-18
Reviewid: 105205Chapter: 1
You go Snape, you little Death Eater you. I never trusted your Mata Hari act for a minute.

Technically, the writing was good. I was actually chocking on Snape's malice, and wondering how he actually had a stomach lining left!

Reviewer: alphieDate: 2004-10-05
Reviewid: 100407Chapter: 1
You two are EVIL! How dare you let Snivilus kill Remus! Just for that, you're getting your titles changed to "Remus Killers!"

I'm kidding.

This honestly was very well written. The imagery was very spooky and the word choices were very "Snape" like. I'm not fond of Snape fics, but this one was very interesting and OH so evil!

Reviewer: AdrienneDate: 2004-08-24
Reviewid: 98413Chapter: 1
While I tend to wish Snape could be a good guy, and so read a lot of redeemed Snape fics, I think it's good that someone out there remembers that he WAS a death eater, and not everyone is able to forgive. Thank you for not saving him in this one.

Reviewer: wendelinDate: 2004-08-24
Reviewid: 98398Chapter: 1
I don't understand some parts of this story. Snape was working for Dumbledore for a year before the Potters were killed. If he knew Peter was a Death Eater, how could he not have realised that Peter was the traitor? Nobody knew Peter had joined Voldemort - that's what made his betrayal such a shock.

I also find the idea of Snape *actually* poisoning Lupin a bit far fetched. I bet he's daydreamed about it ever since Lupin taught at Hogwarts, and you've got the animosity he feels for the gang nailed down just right (though him rejoicing at the deaths of these people is painful to accept) - but murder? Of a man in mourning? Not Snape. He's nasty, but this sort of viciousness is exactly what made him turn away from Voldemort. (I know, I know, it's only my theory. But we know it's true, don't we? The murdering and maiming and torture was definitely part of Snape's disenchantment with the Dark side.)

You write really well, though. I think with a better plot you can churn out amazing stuff. This fic was largely telling us things we know - recounting the books from Snape's POV, mostly. A meatier plot would serve you better.

Reviewer: Eir de ScaniaDate: 2004-08-23
Reviewid: 98373Chapter: 1
Well, if Snape himself doesn´t poison you one of his adoring Snapettes will :-D
Very much in character for Snape, even his animosity towards DD. I think he respects DD a lot, but he is not blind for anyones faults.
And his loathing for the marauders...
Poisoning Lupin? I bet he dreamed about it every month during PoA. But he takes to much pride in his skill to pretend to bungle up a potion

Reviewer: CheddarTrekDate: 2004-08-23
Reviewid: 98370Chapter: 1
Wow, very interesting to say the least. Very dark too... This isn't quite how I see Snape, but it makes perfect sense.

JKR is always saying (isn't she?) that she can't understand why anyone really likes Snape, she says no one should really, even though he's a good guy of sorts. (Didn't she? lol) If this is how his mind works, then that makes perfect sense.

Still though... he hates Lupin of course, just like he hated the others, but this is, well, murder. Hrmmm.

Well, all things considered, it's very well written and easy to read. It provides interesting material to think about, and is enjoyable overall, if you're in the mood for this sort of thing. I really liked it, but I can't quite get over the last bit. Keep up the good work! ^^

(Of course... As the books progress Dumbledore becomes less and less perfect. He didn't know about Black in PoA, missed Crouch!Moody in GoF, and proved secretive in OotP... my point being that perhaps he IS wrong to completely trust Severus Snape, and your interpretation could be closer to the mark than I tend to think.)

Reviewer: PotioncatDate: 2004-08-23
Reviewid: 98350Chapter: 1
I think you did a nice job with Snape's character. And, in spite of the warning, I had no trouble keeping up with Past-Snape and Present-Snape. I may have caught some Severus/Snape inconsistency.(..armchair quarterbacking) I applaud your story from a Snape-isn't-trustworthy PoV, although I don't share that viewpoint.

Reviewer: Lamina CourtDate: 2004-08-23
Reviewid: 98311Chapter: 1
*clicks tongue*
So first, Seriously Sirius, you order me to review and then you make me read a story where a bloody plot is being ordered against my beloved?
I, of course, don't blame you Gryffinjack.
The tale was long (as I'm sure you know), and at a couple points, it felt a bit too long, you know? Just a small irk.
Snape (because I hate calling him by his first name) was well done, if not a bit more murderous than I'm used to seeing him ;) You bottled and brewed his shrewd attitude (that rhymed a bit *too* much*) and grudge-holding idiotism very well.
I thank you for turning me a cynic for the remainder of the evening.

Reviewer: ChurriDate: 2004-08-23
Reviewid: 98306Chapter: 1
Ho-lee. That was intense. It was also some of the best Snape introspection I've ever read. It demonstrated just how deep the animosity between Snape and MWPP runs, and despite the "EEP! Poor Remus!" ending, it's a nice reminder that though Snape is an interesting character, he is NOT a nice one.

The one quibble I have is Snape's animosity (or what seems to be animosity) towards Dumbledore. I've always felt that Dumbledore is one of the few people Snape respects. But I can see how, through Snape's eyes, it would seem that he displayed blatant favoritism towards MWPP.

Great job, guys! If you could write another fic like this where Snape explores his reasons for turning against Voldie, I would adore you more than I already do!

Reviewer: zaraDate: 2004-08-23
Reviewid: 98294Chapter: 1
Chilling. Well writeen and a great read

Reviewer: After the RainDate: 2004-08-22
Reviewid: 98284Chapter: 1
Oh MY, that was creepy. And wonderful. (Well, not for poor Remus, of course, but it's a wonderful piece of writing.) This is canon!Snape in all his subtle, vindictive, manipulative glory. While I saw the end coming a long way off, it's still terrific horror writing.

My only quibble would be that Pettigrew goes over to the Dark Side a little too early -- in canon, it seems to have happened right around Harry's birth or shortly thereafter -- but that's a minor issue.

Reviewer: Ria StahlDate: 2004-08-22
Reviewid: 98270Chapter: 1
that was... wow! good job! though by the end of the story..that was really a good story! keep up the good work. How about a sequel? but make sure Lupin doesn't die ^_^

Reviewer: the Black WolfDate: 2004-08-22
Reviewid: 98248Chapter: 1
Wow, good story! Exelent job on capturing the personality of Snape, and the details were unbalivable! It really seems like Snape was actually telling it himself. Good job, Gryffinjack and Seriously Sirius!

Reviewer: Friday's JesterDate: 2004-08-22
Reviewid: 98226Chapter: 1
Yikes! wow...now before i say anything i must admit to being a unabashed snape fan (However i do love lupin too, they both hold a very special place in my heart). Though i do recongnize snape's evil snapeish qualities, I absolutely cannot see him doing this post Order of the Pheonix...when he was young...most definatly. I have no nasty criticism for your writing which is quite good, just the idea of potions master snape killing someone in cold blood. But that's only my opinion, I could be proven very wrong in up comming books.
- Jester

Reviewer: NicoleDate: 2004-08-22
Reviewid: 98217Chapter: 1
It was really good. (At first I thought it was a songfic with that Papa Roach song Getting Away With Murder. Am I the only rocker HP fan at this site?)

The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For questions, please send us an Owl!

-- Powered by SQ3 : Coded by David : Design by James --