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| Dumbledore's
Army |
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Review(s): 22
| Reviewer: lisa | Date: 2005-10-30 |
| Reviewid: 135452 | Chapter: 1 |
| This was such a beautiful little insight into Ron and Hermione's minds... very fitting, and you captured them both wonderfully. A lovely story to end my day with, so thanks! :) |
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| Reviewer: Patricia Shea | Date: 2005-05-19 |
| Reviewid: 122420 | Chapter: 1 |
| Please let me know when you write something new! I love everything of yours I have read & I have read everything I could find. This was lovely... & the descriptions were incredible, from the quiet, warm & welcoming description of the room to the thoughts in the heads of each. Thank you! |
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| Reviewer: Jack's Smirking Revenge | Date: 2005-05-13 |
| Reviewid: 122027 | Chapter: 1 |
I love your characterizations and the way you write the complex relationship between Hermione and Ron. Far too many R/Hr shippers put their thoughts as "Ron is so cute when he does that!" or "Hermione is so pretty and yada yada yada..." I like the way you show that they each are aware of the other's faults and accept them. Ron not understanding why Hermione was insulted that he said she wasn't like a girl was absolutely Ron-ish.
Great job. |
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| Reviewer: Mandy Croyance | Date: 2005-03-16 |
| Reviewid: 116741 | Chapter: 1 |
That was beautiful. It had me crying tears of joy on the inside. I can't imagine why this hasn't gained higher reconition. It was truly lovely.
I especially liked the physical discriptions you gave each of them. I could see them so clearly and, what's more, I could see them as if they were absolutely real. I have myself sat the way Ron sat many times. It lent a true sense of familiarity to your writing that many other authors neglect or are incapable of achieving.
The description of each other's character was the awe-inspiring section. There were more cheesy confessions of love, or repressed feelings, but the allusions were there, as clear as daylight. They see the good points as well as flaws in their friends character and apperciate them more because of their flaws.
I had to print off and stick in my day planner the two paragraphs in which Ron wonders why he associates with so many perfect people that could make him feel insignificant and then realizes that Hermione does just the reverse. That grabbed at my heart and reminded me why exactly I loved R/Hr so very much. Don't worry your name and the title of the story is written beside it so anyone who comes across your work of art can easily know who the artist is and I will tell them where to find you.
Finally, the ending was... indescribable perfect. Ron's thoughts on girls and Hermione sound precisely as if JKR wrote them herself in some notebook tucked away in the shelves of her own home. I admire how you left them with potential. Hermione can more easily imagine a world without blue that without Ron and Ron believes they need not work everything out now because he and Hermione have forever. Both bits say the same things but in manners that mirror the personality of each character.
Thank you.
mandy |
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| Reviewer: Darker_Rage | Date: 2005-02-23 |
| Reviewid: 114684 | Chapter: 1 |
| That was beautiful. Too often authors get hooked up on providing high-adventure, forgetting these simple little moments such as you've described in such perfect detail that I had no trouble bring the scene to mind in spite of the fact that i'm about ready to collapse to bed. |
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| Reviewer: louisa | Date: 2005-02-20 |
| Reviewid: 114452 | Chapter: 1 |
| This is so touching! It's so nice to "hear" Hermiones thoughts about Ron, and thier both so believeable! Just lovely. It makes me go all squishy and start thinking about my own favorite people. Good work. |
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| Reviewer: magicaljules | Date: 2005-02-16 |
| Reviewid: 114059 | Chapter: 1 |
Holy crap! I love it! Your characterization is spot-on, and I just wanted to keep reading more of your thoughts on Ron and Hermione! Great job!
I love all of it, but I think my favorite part (besides Ron's arms being described as grasshopper legs) was this:
>>Other girls traveled in packs, giggling and chattering, encouraging boys to make fools of themselves. They were mysterious, spiteful, unpredictable, and sometimes downright vicious creatures. Hermione was none of these things. She was frank, caring, honest and brave. She was, in short, as different from his understanding of ‘girls’ as it was possible to be. Of course she wasn’t a ‘girl’. She was too good for that. Why she hadn’t taken it as a compliment was beyond him.<<
*sigh*
Fabulous work and thank you for sharing it!
Jules |
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| Reviewer: Julie | Date: 2004-09-30 |
| Reviewid: 99965 | Chapter: 1 |
Very sweet! I love the friendship focus, but with a hint of more "they had the whole rest of their lives."
I like how they have similar thoughts, each with their own character. Like, Hermione never expected a friend like Ron - and Ron wondering why he was friends with Hermione.
"radiating Hermione-ness like the fire radiated heat" is a great line, too. |
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| Reviewer: Frankie Beeblebrox | Date: 2004-09-28 |
| Reviewid: 99729 | Chapter: 1 |
| Wonderfully sweet! I think you have really done a good job anazlyzing their feelings for each other, as well as the way they express them. The only thing that bugged me was the abrupt change of viewpoint in the middle of the story, though aside from making a clear break in the action (which would probably detract more) I have no idea how else you could have done it. My favorite part, though? Your comparison of Ron to the color orange. Brilliant, truthful, and perfectly in character for Hermione. Great job! |
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| Reviewer: Cindy | Date: 2004-09-28 |
| Reviewid: 99691 | Chapter: 1 |
| I really liked your word choices, you made everything flow and I loved the way you described Ron and Hermione. Very well done!!! Awsome!! |
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| Reviewer: story645 | Date: 2004-09-28 |
| Reviewid: 99666 | Chapter: 1 |
| Yummy fic, it's so sweet. I like that it's friendship centric, they're both very in character and adorable. Iloved Ron's comment about too many overachievers and girls, and Hermione's about fighting and the colore blue, and the short interaction with the ink. I like that you set it in the common room and just let their thoughts drift, it makes the fic seem very natural. |
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| Reviewer: Pineapple Queen | Date: 2004-09-27 |
| Reviewid: 99654 | Chapter: 1 |
Beautiful character study. You've captured Ron and Hermione's friendship perfectly. I like the idea of them not being in a hurry, and Ron just thinking that they can enjoy the simple moment. Great job!
-PQ |
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| Reviewer: Pooca | Date: 2004-09-27 |
| Reviewid: 99616 | Chapter: 1 |
| This was very beautifully written--I love how it's just descriptions, just the R/Hr. Nice. :o) |
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| Reviewer: sweetie | Date: 2004-09-27 |
| Reviewid: 99612 | Chapter: 1 |
that was so cute! it really explains their love/hate relationship perfectly. Hermione's sooo lucky! i want a guy like Ron! *hugs Ron* great job! keep writing!
luv sweetie |
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| Reviewer: shiningstar 1974 | Date: 2004-09-27 |
| Reviewid: 99608 | Chapter: 1 |
Terrific story. I like your transition from Hermione's point of view to Ron's point of view. Nicely done.
You are a great writer. |
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| Reviewer: Azyne | Date: 2004-09-27 |
| Reviewid: 99528 | Chapter: 1 |
How incredibly good :) Lisa was right, it has an amazing flow that you don't find often. Usually I get bored of stories when it's all thoughts and little dialogue, but this one got me till the end!
"Ron had never considered himself particularly brave, but Hermione seemed to think he was, and Hermione was almost never wrong so he could take her word for it."
That's so adorable :D
"Of course she wasn’t a ‘girl’. She was too good for that. Why she hadn’t taken it as a compliment was beyond him."
Ah ha! That explains it.
And the way you went from Hermione's POV to Ron's was again, very smooth and flowing. I was about to suggest a spacer to let the reader know, but it's obvious as it is and not only that, but it also slips into Ron's POV really nicely and while the reader knows it, s/he might not even notice it. Awesome work! |
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