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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 20

Reviewer: spellBoundDate: 2007-11-07
Reviewid: 149864Chapter: 2
great chaoter, I always like new scenery and descriptions of life outside Hogwarts. I'm guessing Snape knows the unrest and unease he causes in the young Slytherin, I just wonder if he knows why...

great chapter,

sherellyn

Reviewer: spellBoundDate: 2007-11-07
Reviewid: 149863Chapter: 1
I really like the charecter you've created in Theodore. He's actually a sensitive kid who just wants to grow up and be somebody. He's incrediably intelligent and understands slytherin ways enough to get by even if he doesn't really believe. I hope he finds out that Snape is on his side and there is another side entirely to turn to. Here's to wishing!

sherellyn

Reviewer: revolvingstaircaseDate: 2005-12-09
Reviewid: 136961Chapter: 2
I guess the new book made your story not fit anymore, but I wish you would keep writing it since it's really good. I like Theodore Nott in this story. He really feels like a real person and Professor Snape seems real, too. Good story. I hope you start writing it again.

Reviewer: davidDate: 2005-06-15
Reviewid: 124082Chapter: 2
good start,interesting plot, nice new character - look forward to next chapter

Reviewer: Reader2Date: 2005-04-24
Reviewid: 120442Chapter: 2
Quite good for the little you have accomplished. I would really like to read the story you seem to be trying to write.

Reviewer: ikhlasDate: 2005-04-07
Reviewid: 118902Chapter: 2
i already wrote about how much i love your depiction of nott's character. i'll be following this story, coz i really want to know what's going to happen. more! ^__^

Reviewer: AnocheraDate: 2005-02-23
Reviewid: 114750Chapter: 2
I really like this. Theodores chapter from the Esrid collection was brilliant, and I'm really glad that you are continueing the idea. Can we see an update soon?

Reviewer: SJSDate: 2005-01-06
Reviewid: 109931Chapter: 1
Nice! It's so original! I love the beginning. It reminds me of Peter Pan. But I don't understand the connection. What's the significance of the silver? Is it the smoke? Anyway, Evil Nott seems really cool. Great job.

Reviewer: GandalfinaDate: 2005-01-05
Reviewid: 109864Chapter: 2
Nicely done! I'm enjoying this, and look forward to finding out how Theodore and Snape become allies.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2005-01-05
Reviewid: 109835Chapter: 2
I'm sorry to say that once again you confused me very much. In the first place, I was surprised to see this second chapter up, because I clearly remember you asking me to be your beta reader. So unless I betaed this story in my sleep and can't remember about it, I think you forgot. ;-)

More importantly, however, is that I'm confused by the story itself. I can't follow Theodore's thoughts. First he becomes angry because of something I don't understand. What is Snape talking about? And why is it making Theodore angry? And then, when Snape intrudes into his private quaters, for crying out loud, he *doesn't* get angry! I would have expected him to yell at Snape for coming into his room, but instead, he lets his "professional pride" take the overhand. I don't understand that.

Furthermore, I thought that the start of this chapter was rather dragging along. It went wrong with the very first sentence already. That one is way too long and too confusing. I had to read it three times before I understood what it was saying. After that, I enjoyed the story about Madam Marsh very much, though.

Many more long paragraphs with too many long, complex sentences follow. Perhaps I just couldn't make much sense of them because I couldn't concentrate properly, but I suppose that the fact that I couldn't concentrate well on the chapter is also significant.

From dinner on, things get much better. From there, the story is enjoyable, full of suspense and emotions, and I was easily hooked by it. Apart from the fact that I couldn't follow Theodore's train of thoughts, I enjoyed that part very much. It's very well written -- more like what I'm used to see in your stories.

I'm sorry that this review turned out to be rather negative. I'm afraid I might be holding you to abnormally high standards, but then again, it's your own fault: you've written so many gripping, extremely well-worded stories, that I've come to expect that from you with every new chapter.

Reviewer: PatriciaDate: 2005-01-04
Reviewid: 109761Chapter: 2
Poor guy doesn't know who to trust. Actually, I suspect he knows not to trust anyone. What an unstable way for one's life to be. Very well presented.

Reviewer: PotioncatDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 101965Chapter: 1
This is the first "Dark" Theo I've seen...and what a powerful one he is! I think you've done an excellent job of showing a cunning, smart Slytherin. He seems very Snape-like as well and this seems to be an interesting set up. I'm looking forward to reading your other stories.

Reviewer: bansheeqwnDate: 2004-10-04
Reviewid: 100347Chapter: 1
fantastic first chapter! congratulations!!! i really like your Theodore Nott, especially after reading "What Would You See," i really feel for him and his situation will make for a very interesting plot. i'm glad you decided to continue with his story, and i'm looking forward to whatever you have coming our way.

Reviewer: MinoukatzeDate: 2004-09-28
Reviewid: 99735Chapter: 1
What a great beginning! A wonderful portrait of a character with a load far too big for his shoulders, far older beyond his years. And it's always nice to see Draco out-maneuvered:) Can't wait to see more!

Reviewer: FireflashDate: 2004-09-28
Reviewid: 99731Chapter: 1
Oh, how wonderful! I automatically, clicked on "next chapter" to read more, and was shocked to find no more yet! Keep writing; it's that good. I really like how you've built a completely original personality for such an unknown character, great work.

Reviewer: Reynaldo GonzalesDate: 2004-09-28
Reviewid: 99709Chapter: 1
You have written the begging of a powerful and engaging story. The only things we really know about Theodore not are that he is weedy looking, clever, a loner, a slytherin and a Death Eater's son. You have taken these few things and turned him into a whole person with strengths and weaknesses. I can practically feel his solitude and desparation acroos the screen of my monitor. I wish I could give some sort of constuctive critism but I nothing more to say than I can't wait to read what happens next.

Reviewer: Tethered SerpentDate: 2004-09-28
Reviewid: 99698Chapter: 1
Your Nott here is looking very interesting indeed. I like how he manages to be a power behind the scene of Malfoy and his goons. (Malfoy has a point: it is rather telling that he gets all this support in the planning meetings, which somehow never materializes in the showdowns vs Potter. You'd think maybe they didn't have that good an opinion of them. ;-)

I'm a bit confused, though. Did you mean in your summary to suggest that Snape would be -trying- to seduce Nott to the Dark Side? It seems a bit out of character for a loyalist Phoenician; is Snape playing both sides, or is this an AU where he is a loyal DE again? Or will there be a terribly convoluted neccessity for the Light which requires Nott to become a Dark Wizard? Or am I reading too much into this? *grin*

Reviewer: FionaDate: 2004-09-27
Reviewid: 99636Chapter: 1
This is a really good story! You have a talent in capturing characters' emotions in a short time, and this helps the reader to understand the plot. The fact that you've kept the setting as the Hogwarts Express also lets us focus on the characters and why they feel the way they do. Keep it up! I will read the rest of the stories you've written, but for now I have homework, unfortuantely.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-09-27
Reviewid: 99589Chapter: 1
I must admit that I'm slightly confused. Your writing is brilliant as ever, but I seem to miss the point somewhere. Does Theodore think that Snape is a spy while the other think he's loyal to Voldemort? It seems so, but ... I've re-read the chapter in "What Would You See" again, and there Theodore is devastated because he thought Snape was manipulating him for the dark side, isn't he? So why does he now think that Snape is spying on them for the light side? And why does that anger him, while the opposite angered him in the other story? I'm terribly confused. Please send me a PM to clear this up. I feel very stupid...

Apart from that, I'm completely in awe of the chapter. Your mention of the sun at the start and the end, while the middle is so dark, is great. Also, I really like Theodore. In your story, he's very much the clever loner JKR described. At the same time, Draco and the others are very much the stupid, bullying Junior Death Eaters they seem to be in the books. In other words, your characterisation is excellent.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: hairy_henDate: 2004-09-27
Reviewid: 99522Chapter: 1
This is probably the most convincing portrayal of Nott that I've ever seen. Obviously, most of what anyone writes about him has to be speculation, but I really like the way you're handling his character. He's not coming over to Dumbledore's side (it would be pretty incredible if he did, considering his father is a Death Eater fanatic), but he has extreme doubts about who's in the right. Not knowing what to do, he's in extreme danger of falling into the Dark Lord's horde. I'll be really interested to see how he interacts with Snape in future chapters. Excellent!

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