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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 17

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-10-06
Reviewid: 133833Chapter: 1
Quite excellent. Why have you not written more?

Reviewer: yodelingcamelDate: 2005-07-18
Reviewid: 127378Chapter: 1
I LOVE IT! it really shows the inner turmoil of Ron! wow. keep going

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-02-19
Reviewid: 114391Chapter: 1
I liked this. Very Ron. I liked the lead up to the snapping arm, the brief sentences really conjured up the impression of these brief flashing images. Very cinematic, really. Keep writing!

Reviewer: shiningstarDate: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102193Chapter: 1
Actually, I think you did quite well capturing Ron's character. You have a very vivid writing style and I could truly see Ron lying there in his four poster bed wrestling with his thoughts. Good Ron/Hermione fics are always fun to read and I really enjoyed this one. Keep on writing!

Reviewer: KatDate: 2004-10-19
Reviewid: 101908Chapter: 1
Aw man... *sniffles...* i dont know if its just me and my hyper-emotion-ness-ity, but this story made me cry... Awsome work, this DEFINITELY one of my all-time favorites. :)

Reviewer: Magnolia MamaDate: 2004-10-18
Reviewid: 101772Chapter: 1
Congratulations on making it to the SQ archive--and the Professors' Bookshelf no less (I'm very envious)! I can't think of a better story to introduce you here, and hope to see more of your lovely fics posted here soon.

Reviewer: Sherster6Date: 2004-10-18
Reviewid: 101766Chapter: 1
Omg! I loved it! I can definitely see that all happening. Great fic! Keep writing!

Reviewer: stefanieDate: 2004-10-15
Reviewid: 101483Chapter: 1
so that's what happened.....

;)

great job!

Reviewer: ryoroowDate: 2004-10-15
Reviewid: 101469Chapter: 1
this is great! I think you have Ron down perfectly.

Reviewer: katiejuneDate: 2004-10-14
Reviewid: 101439Chapter: 1
I love the idea of following Ron through his struggles with Hermione/Krum. Have you heard the song The Missing Arm of Viktor Krum, by Harry and the Potters? Check them out!

Reviewer: srutiDate: 2004-10-14
Reviewid: 101424Chapter: 1
excellent!!!! i love the way you write ron-write more pls

Reviewer: SelenaDate: 2004-10-14
Reviewid: 101414Chapter: 1
This was a pretty alright story, I liked the missing moment you picked to show us and you did a good job of making a story out of it.

I do, however, think you didn't have enough meat to make it a very *interesting* story. There weren't any truly fresh twists of phrase or concepts that would set this story apart... it's just a 'good read'. Not that there's anything wrong with that... but it would have been great if there had been a payoff (other than Ron twisting the arm off, which was expected) at the end.

I also would expect Ron to grapple with some conflicting emotions about Krum, at least. Ron totally admires this guy's quidditch talent, and even though jealousy (or hatred, as he sees it) is now the overpowering emotion, I would expect his thoughts to wander at least a little bit along the lines of "He's a great seeker... But that doesn't not make hima complete prat!" (Remember his conversation with Harry in OotP - "He's older, he's an international Quidditch star.." "Yeah, but apart from that, he's a grouchy git, isn't he?")

Reviewer: B. NonymousDate: 2004-10-14
Reviewid: 101385Chapter: 1
I can't wait to see you do more with Ron. While "like a true Gryffindor" has become a bit cliche, it does fit. Apart from that nit, this was a nice peek inside Ron's head.

Reviewer: Muggle MollyDate: 2004-10-14
Reviewid: 101384Chapter: 1
Enjoyed it very much. You just gotta love that boy! I thought you nailed his character with this battle in his head. I kept thinking, that's Ron.

Reviewer: ivy & GracieDate: 2004-10-14
Reviewid: 101381Chapter: 1
bluedaisy, first let us say we're sorry the previous reviewer has no manners. Clearly, his name is a misnomer; his comment was rude and unconstructive, and we're sorry it had to be the second review you rec'd on your very first story. Congratulations on being on the Professor's Bookshelf, first time around!

Now that we feel better, we'll say: What a delightful story! Since book 5 came out, good, pre-OotP R/H fluff has been scarce. We were long overdue for a dose of it, and this fit the bill nicely. Some of your lines were very clever and others, downright funny. Our favorite:

<<She was HIS friend. As such, he had certain rights, certain privileges. If he needed a date to the ball, it was her duty as a friend to go with him.>> You've nailed Ron's character in that line!

Now, you did invite constructive criticism, so we'll give you just a little, the only nitpick we have with the story, actually: A couple of times, you used timeworn tricks to show us Ron's feelings: Clenching his jaw and making a fist when he's frustrated; furrowing his brow when he's confused & anxious. There's nothing technically wrong with those things, but they're expected, and they do nothing for the flair of the story. It just seems that the rest of your writing is head and shoulders above that--that you have it in you to be more inventive.

But the rest? Pure fun, and a pleasure to read! We'll watch for your name on the new postings again.

Reviewer: Mostly HarmlessDate: 2004-10-14
Reviewid: 101370Chapter: 1
nice :) it's very cute and fairly true to character. on the other hand, it did get a bit tiresome about halfway down the page.

Reviewer: Kit the BraveDate: 2004-10-13
Reviewid: 101342Chapter: 1
bluedaisy, I loved the idea of Ron sitting in bed having a conversation with an action figure of Krum. Only in the Potterverse...
And you mentioned characterization, so I have to tell you that my favorite moment is when Ron realizes that he's broken the arm off of the Krum figure and his reaction is, "Don't look at me like that...you deserved it." He's mad enough to break the thing, but his immediate reaction is to feel slightly guilty. When I read it, I thought, "That's *exactly* what Ron would do."
Thanks for the story.

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