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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Dark Before Dawn
Review(s): 21

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-02-13
Reviewid: 139776Chapter: 1

Reviewer: GinOviaDate: 2005-11-14
Reviewid: 135856Chapter: 1
I forgot to mention a line that really threw me, but in a good way! It is so rare to come across such beautiful and meaningful writing as this:

"And tonight, in a situation where a Knight-in-Shining-Armour would rust in the rain and the Valiant Seeker would have nothing to catch, Harry would prevail."

That line really touched my heart. Ginny is finally overlooking the stereotypes of Harry and is uncovering the true man she loves. That HE will defeat the evil; not an exaggerated hero, but a real man.

Another line I liked:

"They were saving the world. That phrase had always sounded silly to her, but that was exactly what they were doing. They were risking their lives to assure that tomorrow would dawn the same way as today."

Even though she is not out there to help, she accepts what her loved ones are trying to do.

"There were hundreds of people willing to fight with him, to die with him, yet when he'd gone yesterday, he'd gone alone."

That's so sad! I feel a tear coming on.

"Dawn was seeping over the forest, casting long shadows over the lawn. The wind had slowed and then stopped sometime during the night and the few clouds left spat soft drops of rain across the grass. The orange glow of light enveloped the gray night, leaking colour into every corner of the landscape. The light always conquered the dark, in the end."

Very descriptive. I can picture it perfectly. An the last line; foreshadowing perhaps? Let's hope so!

I just wanted to point out the parts that really made it so great for me. I really do love this piece!

Reviewer: GinOviaDate: 2005-11-14
Reviewid: 135855Chapter: 1
You would not believe the irony that occurred as I was reading this. I was listening to my iPod on my computer and I had it on shuffle, and just after I started reading and got to the part that Ginny mentions the battle that must be happening, one of the best songs on my iPod came on: "The Final Fight". I kept thinking, "Wait, this song! It's perfect, but where'd it come from?" I had forgotten I had my iPod on shuffle! I thought maybe I was imagining it; making something in my head that I thought could fit in with your story. "The Final Fight" is a beautiful classical song from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer soundtrack. I just found this oh-so-fitting. If you ever hear the song, you'll now what I mean.
Now to the review. This was marvelous; divine; extraordinary. Ginny is so in character here. You present her as determined to be involved, yet still loyal. It's unlike her to let herself be left behind, and yet she keeps her promise. This was beautiful. Short and sweet and perfect. Your writing style is magnificent and very descriptive; you must realize the importance of detail! Good going! This was so endearing, with just a touch of fluffy-romance. The perfect mix of angst and love. I really loved this. Do you plan on writing an addition of some sort? I hope so! I'd love to read what heppens next!

Reviewer: Sana JonDate: 2005-02-25
Reviewid: 114870Chapter: 1
Lovely! I adored how you described Harry ! Yay!!! (I'm so goofy) How gorgeous this is! Lovely and sweet! (Did I say "Lovely" already? Oh, well...) :D ;) :)

Reviewer: Miss GypsyDate: 2004-10-25
Reviewid: 102378Chapter: 1
This was beautiful. Excellent job.

Poor Ginny!

Reviewer: Sylvia AlvarezDate: 2004-10-24
Reviewid: 102323Chapter: 1
This was one of the best pieces of sheer Writing I have read on Sugar Quill yet. Having been an English major, I think I have read some good writing. As an occasional (as in , when I have time to write) freelance writer, I am Slytherin green with envy! Please write more.

Reviewer: PiperDate: 2004-10-24
Reviewid: 102282Chapter: 1
Very good!

I like how you didn't come right out and explain who it was (although I'm sure most of us could have guessed) and when it took place. It put me closer to Ginny's mind frame as I had to wonder about what was going on in the story just as she had to wonder about what was going on with Harry.

Good job!

Reviewer: Frankie BeeblebroxDate: 2004-10-22
Reviewid: 102162Chapter: 1
Very well done. I thoroughly enjoyed the picture you painted, your use of imagery and symbolism really bringing this piece to life. Great use of vocabulary as well. All around wonderful work!

Reviewer: OhbeteresaDate: 2004-10-22
Reviewid: 102146Chapter: 1
Dear Keats,

Great writing. I was pierced by the same line as another reviewer:

And tonight, in a situation where a Knight-in-Shining-Armour would rust in the rain and the Valiant Seeker would have nothing to catch, Harry would prevail.

You've caught the legend of Harry Potter there with touches of anticipation for your own perspective on the story to come. I like your characterization of Ginny as a strong, capable girl who is better for her deeply felt love now that she's growing up in it (and having it reciprocated?!). I also like your suspenseful mood, by way of excruciating calmness.

Please write more; I look forward to reading it!

Reviewer: jolene_xxDate: 2004-10-22
Reviewid: 102138Chapter: 1
This was a really beauiful story, excellently written. I thought that the suspense lasted a bit too long though, although i worked out who the characters were I spent ages trying to work out where the story fitted in chronologically. It wasn't until they kissed that I realised it must be set in the future. Please write more though, you're use of language is really good.

Reviewer: GinDate: 2004-10-21
Reviewid: 102081Chapter: 1
This is so beautifully dark. You managed to paint a complete picture with very few words and not much information to go on at first. I love how you didn't mention Ginny by name untill the very end, but from the first its obvious that its her.

"And tonight, in a situation where a Knight-in-Shining-Armour would rust in the rain and the Valiant Seeker would have nothing to catch, Harry would prevail."
That line was brilliant!

Please please please write a sequel! Harry just HAS to return!

Reviewer: shiningstarDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 102018Chapter: 1
What can I say? Wow, that was a great story. I think you've really captured both Ginny and Harry's characters. Can't wait to read more of your writings. This one really took my breath away.

Reviewer: EmilyDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 102004Chapter: 1
What an awesome story! Is this the end? Hope you write a sequel, though it didn't need it, this story was perfect! I loved it!

Reviewer: OthafaDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 101998Chapter: 1
Forgive me, but I'm going to start with criticism.
Firstly, I think crimson is deep red, almost bordering on purple. Yes, it's a type of red, but Ginny's hair isn't *that* red. When I saw that word I thought at first that it might be Tonks.
Secondly, you use the word "storm" too much near the beginning.
Thirdly, you create a wonderful atmosphere, but it lasts for a bit too long. There's only so long you can mentally sigh for.
But you do create a great feeling; so many authors can't write melancholy to save their lives (me included!) so congratulations! Your descriptions are poetic and vivid. Also I liked Ginny's perception of Harry. She's much more mature than she was, but she's still just a bit naive. After all, Harry isn't quite as perfect as she makes out.
Finally, the "time to think, time to worry" bit really makes this that little bit more original. More bits like that, please!


Reviewer: DonDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 101984Chapter: 1
Nice work. I like the focus being internal. After a bit, it isolates the reader in a way that lets us feel her isolation. Nice technique.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 101979Chapter: 1
Wow. That was amazing- very atmospheric, at the beginning with the description of the rainy night and Ginny waiting- and the relationship between Bill and Ginny and Bill and Percy was masterfully done
" Percy hung back and waited until the others were done to move in and give her one of his soft, distinctive hugs, whispering in her ear that Harry had been sitting a bit too close when they'd come in."
Percy exactly and the *nice* side of Percy which we don't seem to see so much anymore- I loved the big brother solicitousness about Harry. I loved your descriptions of Harry's character, I found myself seeing him more clearly than I ever had done yet, through Ginny's eyes. My very favourite quote:

"And tonight, in a situation where a Knight-in-Shining-Armour would rust in the rain and the Valiant Seeker would have nothing to catch, Harry would prevail."

It sums up Harry perfectly, sums up the nature of a childhood crush matured into something so much deeper.... just perfection. Thank you so much for writing this and brightening up my day.

Reviewer: ivy & GracieDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 101956Chapter: 1
This is eloquent... graceful... lovely. We look forward to many more fics from you!

Reviewer: TrulyDate: 2004-10-19
Reviewid: 101878Chapter: 1
:'( beautiful and bittersweet. a really sad but lovely fic that i am glad for having read - thank you.

Reviewer: hairy_henDate: 2004-10-19
Reviewid: 101858Chapter: 1
This is a really good depiction of Ginny's thoughts. I really enjoyed reading it. Congratulations on being accepted here at the Quill--and I hope you write more fics!

Reviewer: Pineapple QueenDate: 2004-10-19
Reviewid: 101835Chapter: 1
Beautiful...loved it. Congrats at being accepted into the 'Quill...keep writing!


Reviewer: KatieDate: 2004-10-19
Reviewid: 101788Chapter: 1
Very nice. I like your take on what might happen during the war. Your emotions come across as very realistic.

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