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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: A July Afternoon
Review(s): 13

Reviewer: kerosinkanisterDate: 2007-06-08
Reviewid: 148223Chapter: 1
That was a cute story. The characterization seemed just right for them ask kids and it's not so implausible, given how close they live to each other, that they might have met at some point.

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-02-13
Reviewid: 139745Chapter: 1
Truly Exceptional. This is the best piece of this size that I have ever read on the Quill. Thank you.

Reviewer: BrittanyDate: 2005-03-26
Reviewid: 117733Chapter: 1
Great story! It was Really sweet!

Reviewer: story645Date: 2005-03-03
Reviewid: 115325Chapter: 1
Should have reviewed this ages ago. Basically, this is one of my favorite fics. Well written and cute, and does such a great job showing a young Ron and Luna. They're so adorable and yummy and in character. I love the foundation you set up for a friendship later on, and again, the fic is just yummy. I love an angry petulant Ron, getting all exicited about getting to play a prank. And making Luna so happy because of her mother is just this great touch, because that's really what a lot of little girls are like, and Luna would so be that way, and just adds a nice edge to the fic. I love their game of Knights and Dragons, and how Ron becomes the knight, and gives Luna a kiss. Aww, cute explanation of her being fascinated with him in canon.

Reviewer: noneDate: 2004-11-01
Reviewid: 103167Chapter: 1
Stupid

Reviewer: Ella W.Date: 2004-10-27
Reviewid: 102639Chapter: 1
Excellent fic! I loved the idea, as well as your very interesting characterization of Ron. And Luna's absolutely perfect. A bit of constructive critisism, the extra exclamation points in the begining were a bit distracting, and the begining narration seemed a tad rushed (but that's just my humble opinion.) Overall I really enjoyed the story. Keep writing!

Reviewer: MeganDate: 2004-10-26
Reviewid: 102440Chapter: 1
Cute idea.

Reviewer: Kit the BraveDate: 2004-10-26
Reviewid: 102386Chapter: 1
I really liked this "What If." I liked Ron and Luna's childishness. I laughed when' Ron's "plan" to get back at Fred turned out to consist of going out to collect a big bucket of sap, with no idea how to get the sap on Fred afterward. That's very believable seven-year-old "planning"! And they both act like they know what the word "patent" means because they don't want to admit they don't...and their game was very true-to-life too.

I don't know if I can describe this well, but I read your first three paragraphs thinking that the story was going to be from Ron's point of view. But then it seemed to switch to be from the point of view of a narrator who was older than Ron (using words like "jubilant" or "lush") and who also (at the end) knows what Luna is thinking. I think it would be a great story either way; it was just that I was confused at first.

I really felt for Luna at the end. It gave me the idea that she had had a lonely childhood, and it wasn't entirely by her choice.

Thanks for the story.
Kit

Reviewer: PiperDate: 2004-10-24
Reviewid: 102283Chapter: 1
What a cute story! And very original. Good job!

Reviewer: JellyDingyStarDate: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102215Chapter: 1
I really liked that! I thought Luna's character was very good, but Ron seemed to be just a little bit to... accepting of her, or something, I don't know.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102206Chapter: 1
That was a very sweet story- I especially liked the conclusion "She looks back on that afternoon fondly, thinks of the redheaded boy, and the kiss he gave her."- kinda bittersweet. I liked the idea of the Damsel in Distress game- they both suit their roles rather well, did you chose it on purpose to be that way? I liked the idea of the stupid boy promising to go back and then forgetting- typical bloody Ronald. I do love him though. I thought this was a very well written piece, thank you for sharing it.

Reviewer: Pineapple QueenDate: 2004-10-19
Reviewid: 101837Chapter: 1
Love this! Luna and Ron were perfect. Congrats on getting into the 'Quill!

-PQ

Reviewer: NunduDate: 2004-10-19
Reviewid: 101832Chapter: 1
Lovely! A wonderful first outing that is quite different from most stories.

PS-You do need to be sure to remove all your Beta-reader's notes though!

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