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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Imperfect Moment
Review(s): 19

Reviewer: discordant_harmonyDate: 2007-06-14
Reviewid: 148256Chapter: 1
This was so adorable.

I really loved your voice in this; it was so quinisentially Ron.

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-03-20
Reviewid: 141133Chapter: 1
Very nicely done

Reviewer: my karma ran over my dogmaDate: 2005-09-21
Reviewid: 132943Chapter: 1
Oh my god. This story made me cry. Am i a total dork for that? I hope not. Is it normal for people to cry over stories like this?

Reviewer: story645Date: 2005-01-25
Reviewid: 112109Chapter: 1
How have I not reviewed this yet? This is defintely at least my second time reading this, and wow. I just felt like you nailed it. You showed all the emotions that could have been running through his head when he got that badge. I love that your Ron is angry and bitter and resentful, and so painfully human. I want to give him a hug and tell him just how wonderful he is. I love how you showed all those emotions cleanly, simply, without diving into purple prose or angst, or letting all the emotions bog down the piece. Instead you have them carry it, and like in your broomride fic, you shift from one emotion to the other, from the shock, to the sadness to the resentment. You don't let him dwell on any of those, or make any of them a driving force, instead, you have them come one after another. It makes it so natural and so real, and again shows why it's just a part of being human.

This line: "I hate feeling like I’m the reserve squad." and the paragraph that follows really hit me, because it's so honest, and I can almost feel the emotion in his voice and see his face. And I love how you have him getting over feeling like that so fast, and by choosing to get over it and by realizing his own self worth and how much they need him. I also like the beginning, and his little comment on Molly going spare, it places the fic as well as a paragraph of exposition would.

Reviewer: Jessica R VanceDate: 2005-01-24
Reviewid: 111984Chapter: 1
And Ron begins to finger his badge and call it "Precious..."

Just kidding. LOVED this. Very much in character for Ron. Well done!

Reviewer: NunduDate: 2005-01-18
Reviewid: 111340Chapter: 1
This is a wonderful story. You have captured the essence of Ron in his thoughts on this pivotal day. Well done!

Reviewer: SennaDate: 2005-01-08
Reviewid: 110166Chapter: 1
I really liked the way you portrayed Ron's emotions in this piece. The only fault that I found with it was that I felt that it resolved too quickly. Otherwise, well done!

:)
Senna

Reviewer: Elise WeasleyDate: 2004-12-12
Reviewid: 107624Chapter: 1
OMG I love it! OMG, I love, Ron! I always felt so sorry for him at that part! This was really great, thanks!! you are a wonderful writer, keep it up!

Toodleoo,
EW

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2004-12-02
Reviewid: 106692Chapter: 1
Thanks for helping, Ron. Make sure you get the trunks. Get the owls and cat properly stowed this time and mind the trolley, would you? We’ll save you a seat on the train.”
-made me laugh.

Reviewer: KayjalDate: 2004-11-30
Reviewid: 106376Chapter: 1
brilliant. it sounds EXACTLY like how JKR might have written it. from the letter ( which was SO realistic) down to the last line. love the hint about future R/H in that line .. " i mean just lok at her "

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2004-11-22
Reviewid: 105561Chapter: 1
This is a really neat little peek into Ron's mind. I loved all the thoughts flying through his head, especially his first reactions to the badge, his complete irritation with Hermione, the way he suppresses his resentment and begins to look forward to the future.

Favourite bit: Just shut it Hermione, I don’t bloody need to hear your bloody mumbling over some bloody lame excuse. Yes, Ms. Granger, I’m watching my LANGUAGE. Watch this language: Bloody. BLOODY. BLOODY HELL. You can try to take ten points from me, but you can’t. I’m a bloody prefect, too. Brilliant!

So very, very Ron. XD

I think it ended a bit too soon - you could have let us see how he changed his mind when Molly got overjoyed, and how he felt when Harry told him congratulations - but it's still a good POV! ^^

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: FourDayHeroDate: 2004-11-22
Reviewid: 105490Chapter: 1
Wow. Excellent. I will be watching you, Mr. FlyingFingers. I'm seeing a Professor's Bookshelf...and I'm never wrong. *wink*

You have some sort of coding problem, though; half of the fic is italicized. Just a technical glitch, nothing a'tall wrong with your story. Quite excellent. Kudos.

*tips hat*

Reviewer: Morag CamshronDate: 2004-11-21
Reviewid: 105462Chapter: 1
I really enjoyed reading this story, Mr Flying Fingers- I’ve always liked missing moment fics. Ron’s thoughts are very IC, and they fit well into canon.

I particularly liked this bit:

“Ron wondered how things would be different if he had sat in his brothers’ compartment on his first journey aboard the Hogwarts Express. Maybe I wouldn’t be hiding in the shadows of boy wonder wizard and genius witch-girl here. I’d be blazing my own path.
Would that be perfect?
He thought about a life without his best friends, Harry and Hermione, and the thought left him with a void in his stomach. Harry’s my best mate. Hermione, I can’t stay mad at her, I mean, just LOOK at her.”

I hope to see more of your writing.

- Morag Camshron

Reviewer: PotioncatDate: 2004-11-20
Reviewid: 105371Chapter: 1
This is a tightly written piece, fitting neatly into canon. You have done an excellent job of capturing Ron's personality.

Reviewer: SimpkinDate: 2004-11-20
Reviewid: 105324Chapter: 1
Good job! It was nice to get Ron's perspective on a canon scene.

My favorite part is, "WWN Flash: “Best Friends and Family Don’t Expect Ron Weasley to Accomplish Much. Update at Eleven. Now, a word from our sponsor." Poor Ron--but at least us Quillers expect him to accomplish a lot, eh?

Again, well done! Very in character!

Reviewer: jolene_xxDate: 2004-11-19
Reviewid: 105296Chapter: 1
this is excellent, are you going to write more?

Reviewer: ArnelDate: 2004-11-19
Reviewid: 105261Chapter: 1
I really like concise missing moment fics like this. You did a supurb job of getting into Ron's head and captured his initial bewilderment exactly. I really like how at the end Ron feels like he's evening up the score with Charlie. This was fun to read.

Reviewer: srutiDate: 2004-11-19
Reviewid: 105255Chapter: 1
oy!!!!! u write ron soo well!! do write more

Reviewer: CoquillageDate: 2004-11-19
Reviewid: 105232Chapter: 1
Well done, Mr. Fingers! What a nice job you've done, sitting in Ron's head and taking down notes. You've really captured him, and I like the snippet of time you've chosen. You tell us a great deal about him while keeping very "in the moment." Lots of good lines, but I loved this:
<Y’know, I could rub this thing all day long. Back. And forth. Back. And forth Back—OW! What the, who made these things with the bloody pin exposed?>
Hope you have more in store for us.

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