The Sugar Quill
Sugar Quill Community
- S.P.E.W (SQ History)

Fan Fiction and Writing
- Ask Madam Pince
(Story Submissions)
- Floo Network (Links)


Administrative Links

Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 573

Reviewer: bemoanDate: 2007-10-10
Reviewid: 149585Chapter: 19
Thanks for sharing your story. I just finished reading it and plan on reading “Harry Potter and the Chained Souls” and hope you write more. I like how you wrote Snape and Ginny and how they both helped Harry’s character. I like your explanation on how Occlumency and Legimency work that was great. Also I’m glad you showed that not all Slythrins are bad and the pressures that they have for joining the Death Eaters. I also like the introduction of the new DA instructor and his role in the story. Mostly what I loved was the compassion and forgiveness that Harry showed a mark of a true hero.

Reviewer: SpellBoundDate: 2007-08-18
Reviewid: 148915Chapter: 19
This story was fantastic! I love the JKR books, but I think I actually prefer your version! You made me laugh and cry and I am completely caught up with your characters, I'm on the 10th chapter of the next story and I certainly hope you write something about life after Hogwarts! You've made a fan, thanks much for the fantastic times! PS: I've always been a staunch Snape hater, but now, I daresay he may be my favorite character, I can't thank you enough!


Reviewer: SaraDate: 2007-05-22
Reviewid: 148069Chapter: 15
“Don’t you ever call him a coward again!” Harry snarled
I've to smile every time I come across this line - especially in retrospect to HBP's "Flight of the Prince".
Yours, Sara

Reviewer: Arwen17Date: 2007-05-14
Reviewid: 148004Chapter: 19
This is truly the best fanfiction I have ever read and I've read a lot. You keep the characters in-character very well! I reread this story and the sequel about 50 times a day lol

Reviewer: remDate: 2007-02-02
Reviewid: 147074Chapter: 19
Wonderful, wonderful piece of work. I cannot believe I have just found this story! I read this in two sittings, though provided the time, it would have been one. This is by far the best Snape/Harry relationship I have ever read. I am normally not a fan of so much angst, but this was written so well and flawlessly. In a few monthes, I will have to read this again as it is definately in my top 10 list - and I have read a lot of HP fanfiction. Great job!

Reviewer: SssithDate: 2006-12-29
Reviewid: 146659Chapter: 19
Excellent story. Thanks for sharing.

Your development of Harry & Snape's mutual respect was very interesting to read. I wouldn't mind seeing you expand to involve other characters more fully.

Time to check out you next!

Reviewer: epeaceDate: 2006-12-08
Reviewid: 146400Chapter: 1

Wow. Double wow. Truly. I finished reading HPEW last night, and I am gripped. You have an absolutely phenomenal way of capturing the true essence of all the characters, but especially Snape, Harry, and their relationship.

I eagerly read each chapter, only to get to the end and want more. Your portrayal of Snape is perfect. I cannot only hear him saying and thinking exactly what you have written, but truly see this dynamic between he and Harry developing. Snape is still hard, bitter, and sarcastic, but there is just enough of something else there, to know that when he and Harry really have it out in your sequel (please say they do), it will most likely move me to tears.

Ok, so I know I am going on and on, but really, I am impressed. You have me hooked. I don't know how I will make it til January until you next update of HPCS (possibly re-reading EW again?).

Finally, the scene where he is upset about Mrs. Weasley’s death, and Snape is with him…I did cry. Beautiful.

You have an eloquent writing style. And your characters are believable. I don’t like that there is not as much Snape POV in HPCS, but I realize the necessity, especially during the summer with so many characters in one place. Perhaps, now that Harry is back at school that will change? And, with no more Occlumency lessons, how will Harry and Snape have interactions (besides dreaded potions class)?

Alright…I will stop bothering you and anyone else reading this…

Good luck with RL! And I will eagerly await you next post in January.


Reviewer: TweedFalconDate: 2006-10-22
Reviewid: 145862Chapter: 19
Excellent story, truly it is. I had started reading it a while back, and gotten almost all the way through it, but real life forced me to take a break from fanfic for a while and I've only just now rediscovered some of my favorites. This one definately makes my Top 5. I'm glad to have finally gotten to finish reading it, and am PLEASANTLY surprised to discover a sequel in progress.

It is a tribute to your writing that this story is still so incredibly enjoyable, despite not being able to incorporate the most recent canon. Kudos a thousand times over.

One minor issue though, just to provide some constructive criticism. Remus never really seemed to provide a good explanation for the attack at Privet Drive near the start of your story. Harry was kept in the dark while VOLDEMORT attacked his house because they didn't want Voldemort to catch on that Harry knew. That's all well and fine, but I don't remember a reason why they had to allow it in the first place. If they KNEW, then why not just get Harry out? If they had time to devise a plan, distract his relatives, and have people in place, then they had time to get him out. And honestly, why risk his life in such a manner? Gaurds or not, they apparently knew Voldemort himself was going to show up, so it seems too much a risk.

Anyway, great story. Definately one of the best ones out there. I'm overly fond of Mentor!Severus for some reason, and your story is one of only two that I've found that are truly excellent pieces of work.

Kudos again,

Reviewer: TheowynDate: 2006-10-02
Reviewid: 145581Chapter: 3
Yes, Dalf, you have mentioned this before and you're still wrong. While your vision of Harry might distrust Snape, Theowyn!Harry doesn't. Mind you, he has plenty of reasons to HATE Snape, but that's not the same thing as distrust.

Btw, I think it's actually chapter 2 you're referring to - definitely a prime reason for Harry to hate his teacher. But if you re-read chapter 3, I think you'll find it's a great juxtaposition of Snape's vindictive behavior towards Harry versus his genuine willingness to help the boy when it matters.

That is the key to Harry's trust. Snape may be hideous to him most of the time and he rightfully hates the man for it. But when push comes to shove, Snape is there when Harry needs him - and he always has been.

Reviewer: DalfDate: 2006-10-02
Reviewid: 145578Chapter: 8
[[Not that Harry could actually think of anything the man had ever done to warrant his distrust, he realized. Harry frowned and thought hard. No, not a single thing came to mind.]]

I probbly said this in my original review, as I am re-reading this so I can read the sequal which I believe I promised to review every chapter of, but I will say so again. This statment of Harry's is absured. You shoudl re-read chapter three of this fic. I really really doubt that Harry will ahve forgotten that. Or that he woudl discounti it so causally as a reason to distrust Snape.

Reviewer: lemondrops8Date: 2006-09-04
Reviewid: 145186Chapter: 19
I LOVED IT! Great story! I'm reading this after book number 6 came out so i think it's sad that Snape did'nt turn out this way. I almost thought he would. The writing was great. I cried during Molly Weasley's funeral and flipped out when Snape almost died. My favorite part was:

As the ground rushed at him at a terrifying rate, he had just enough time to think how ironic it was that for all the times Voldemort had tried to kill him, he was going to wind up dying in a Quidditch match.

hahaha omg i totally laughed my head off at that! A quidditch match, what a stupid way to die eh? Anyway, brillant story- im off to read the sequel!

Reviewer: dorothkamDate: 2006-08-13
Reviewid: 144783Chapter: 1
I've read it in two sittings (finished at 3 am)& enjoyed it immensly. Probably will read it again. Pls, keep writing ;-)

Reviewer: EowynDate: 2006-06-28
Reviewid: 143781Chapter: 19
I just wanted to let you know that this is probably my favorite fic and the only one I have read several times.

Reviewer: piggypig144Date: 2006-06-12
Reviewid: 143388Chapter: 19
I think that this is one of my favorite stories so far! i love how you write, it's very detailed and specific! i thought that the story was cute and unpredictable! I love your writing and i hope to see more of it soon!!

Reviewer: TheowynDate: 2006-05-09
Reviewid: 142682Chapter: 1
Just popping in to say that I love reading all of your reviews Jan_AQ. Thanks. :)

Reviewer: Jan_AQDate: 2006-05-09
Reviewid: 142676Chapter: 8
Hmmm... I bet that Malfoy, Crabb and Goyle were Death Eaters polyjuiced in disguise. Great chapter and great writing!! Everyone is so in character. I loved the meloncholy in harry when he spends time by himself.

Reviewer: Jan_AQDate: 2006-05-08
Reviewid: 142664Chapter: 7
Woah! Awesome chapter! It really started to get intense there. I love all the side plots and moment syou have going on: Snape vs, the defense teacher, Ginny consoling Harry, Ron and Hermione's concern for their friend. Great, great job!

Reviewer: Jan_AQDate: 2006-04-28
Reviewid: 142323Chapter: 6
Good development. I like how you make sure that you cover many different aspects of Harry's life and not just one. You also have a lot of unexpected things pop up. Good job! :)

Reviewer: Jan_AQDate: 2006-04-27
Reviewid: 142296Chapter: 5
Lovely chapter. The owl penpal was cute. :) The scrapbook with Ron's baby picture was hilarious! And cute too. XD Poor Ron. Your twins are really in character. It was realy nice to be able to see the Weasley family in such a good setting, i loved Molly and Arthur's interactions. Ginny's character is handled very well too. I love the promise at the end that Snape gave.

Reviewer: Jan_AQDate: 2006-04-27
Reviewid: 142285Chapter: 4
Whoooo! Great movement. The romance part between Hermione and Ron was handled very well -thank you for not over doing it! I'm glad that Harry managed to get over himself and talk to them though. Great story.

Reviewer: Jan_AQDate: 2006-04-26
Reviewid: 142267Chapter: 3
Another "wow" chapter. WOW. You have such a good, broad range of material in each chapter. You introduced the visions well, and Harry's problems with them. Very realistic the tiredness. You closed this chapter very well. It's very tender, while not being so.

Reviewer: Jan_AQDate: 2006-04-26
Reviewid: 142258Chapter: 2
Wow. WOW. There's so much in this chapter!! I love it, you just went through so much, it wasn't just a little teasing tidbit. Thank you. I loved, loved, loved the part with the cruciatus potion, and then how Snape just put Harry in a broom closet to scream it off. Great tension. Afterwards when Harry expected to be dead and Snape was surprised - I think that you could have made that a little more intense, I think it missed quite what you intended for me, but others may have got it quite right. Wonderful chapter, there was so much in it! I like the new DADA professor, nice contrast between him and Snape. I can't help but feel that he may have a sinister purpose though. Haha the duel at the end between Snape and Harry was awesome. Thanks so much for writing and sharing this!

Reviewer: Jan_AQDate: 2006-04-26
Reviewid: 142255Chapter: 1
Awww, this was such a sweet ending to the chapter. I must admit that I haven't read this story before, that I can remember so I'm only getting to it now. I've heard such great things about it that I was saving it for a treat. I really, really liked the battle-ish scene at the beginning, it was adrenaline pumping without going over board. Your style is very honest. I love that, it's refreshing. I absolutely loved the interaction and characterization of Remus when he was disapointed with Harry. You made him strong, and I really enjoyed seeing that, very much, so much that now I want to read strong Remus guardian fics. XD I liked how that Death Eater reporter was added in, making the single "bad" opinion against all the blind optimistic ones. I didn't even think that he was a Death eater until Harry figured it out, he was so camoflagued- good job with that!

Reviewer: TheowynDate: 2006-04-03
Reviewid: 141581Chapter: 1

I would be honored if you rec'd Enemy Within. I am so glad you enjoyed it and I truly appreciate your lovely review.


Reviewer: _elisaDate: 2006-04-02
Reviewid: 141557Chapter: 1
This is easily the best 6th year fic I have ever read. In fact, I would go so far as to say the best gen fic I have ever read! I might, might, even say I enjoyed this more than I enjoyed Half-Blood Prince!

Seriously- kudos. Your characterisation is amazing. And your ideas on the nature of Occlumency and Legilimency are unique and brilliant. You get the award for the fic that made me cry most out of any I've ever read. Molly Weasley's death was incredibly sad. And Snape's near death? My mascara was about nostril-level down my cheeks.

Utterly brilliant.

Mind if I rec this fic under the Antidote section of God Awful Fan Fiction? (If you arent familiar, Antidote is where GAFFers post the best fics they've ever read- antidotes to all the bad fics we've read.) Its high praise.


Reviewer: piggypig144Date: 2006-03-10
Reviewid: 140785Chapter: 19
I thought that your story was really good, i just wanted to let you know that i enjoyed it. I wish that i could write as good as you. Your story was really great keep writing more. your great

Reviewer: DarcelDate: 2005-12-11
Reviewid: 136992Chapter: 1
Hi. I just wanted to leave a note saying that I've added your story to my rec list ( I'm rather bad about leaving reviews, but I thought you might like to know.

Reviewer: Geministarz6Date: 2005-12-08
Reviewid: 136927Chapter: 19
I'd just like to let you know that this is easily the best Harry Potter fanfiction I have ever read. I could honestly see something like this as the plot of one of Rowling's books. All of the characters stayed true to their personalities, yet the relationship between Harry and Snape was impeccably formed. I love how they still manage to hate each other through the entire story. Quite honestly, this story blew me away. Amazing job, I loved it.

Reviewer: ChingChuan ChiuDate: 2005-10-28
Reviewid: 135317Chapter: 1
I really liked this story! It's very well written and I think you depicted the relationship between Harry & Snape in a very realistic way, something that most fanfictions seem to lack.

I also like the way you describe Occlumency & Legilimency, it's clear you've given thought to it!

I really hope there'll be a sequel to this storie because it's truly great!


ChingChuan Chiu

Reviewer: Lira SnapeDate: 2005-10-23
Reviewid: 135019Chapter: 19
Love it. You are a great writer. And I totally love stories where Harry and Snape work through their differences and Snape actually becomes a mentor to Harry. They simply have so much in common.

Reviewer: JuelleDate: 2005-10-19
Reviewid: 134760Chapter: 19
Excellent!!! I love this story. Is there a sequel? Its extremely well written. More please. I love the ending... extra homework anyone?

Reviewer: JuelleDate: 2005-10-18
Reviewid: 134712Chapter: 1
I found a link recommending this (Harry Potter and the Enemy Within)
on the forums at fictionalley and followed it. This is definitely a very good start. Very well written and I look forward to the rest of your story.

Reviewer: -Date: 2005-10-14
Reviewid: 134463Chapter: 19
"And as for a sequel to HPEW, don't give up hope just yet. ;) "

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-08-29
Reviewid: 131159Chapter: 19
Most excellent.
Finding a gem such as this is what makes it worth wading through so much FF sludge.
A truly wonderful read. Thank you very much.

Reviewer: AmeliaDate: 2005-08-17
Reviewid: 130156Chapter: 19
This is one of the best stories ive read on here. It really does seem like it could almost be an alternate HBP, and it almost makes you wish that in the end Snape turns out to be a good guy. My compliments to the author!

Reviewer: ClaudiaDate: 2005-08-15
Reviewid: 130041Chapter: 1
Very very good!! I am hoping for a sequel!!
I really enjoyed it - it was one of the best I ever read!!! Honestly!

Reviewer: MeggplantDate: 2005-08-13
Reviewid: 129849Chapter: 19
wow. just. wow. i plowed through your story in about a day, and i have to say, i'm crossing my fingers that you're going to write a sequel. or that you've at least written something else so that i can continue to read your work. you're an amazing writer, who definitely has a grasp of the characters, especially Harry growing up, and Snape becoming... _more_ without losing any IC-ness. congratulations, it's an amazing piece of work. i urge you to continue writing! (mostly 'cause i want to read more!)

Reviewer: Fred WeasleyDate: 2005-08-08
Reviewid: 129348Chapter: 19
Have you considered writing a sequel? Or maybe 'Harry's Summer with Snape'? I'd love to read more!

Reviewer: razerDate: 2005-08-08
Reviewid: 129342Chapter: 19
Told ya JKR would use more cool gadgets. ^_^

Check out the threads in ;)

Reviewer: GaladrielDate: 2005-08-05
Reviewid: 128978Chapter: 1
I liked this fic better than HBP. My favorite part is that Snape is good. Even though it looks like Snape is evil in HBP I cling to the faint hope that he is still really on the side of good. Although, if he is I wouldn't want to be in his shoes.

Reviewer: EowynDate: 2005-08-05
Reviewid: 128974Chapter: 19
I love this story. It's the only one I've read twice.

Reviewer: SterlingDate: 2005-08-01
Reviewid: 128416Chapter: 19
I saw this fic Niffled and decided to give it a go. I have never been much of one to enjoy "Snape mentors Harry" stories. Most of them are way to unrealistic. Yours however, was a joy to read. Given the events in HBP the chances of anything like this happening are pretty much smoke but considering the canon up to OoTP this was a fantastically written and well thought out 6th year fic. I actually liked where you were going with this better then JKR's latest installment. (Though I a did enjoy JKR's work as well)

I just would like to finish up by saying that if you ever want to continue this story into the seventh year you definitely would have a guaranteed reader in me. Fantastic work, you should be proud of yourself and I look forward to any other fiction you plan on continuing. Whether connected to this story or not.

Reviewer: LupinDate: 2005-07-23
Reviewid: 127669Chapter: 19
Wow! I loved the whole thing! Totally brilliant! Congratulations! I wish there was more...

Reviewer: KevinDate: 2005-07-20
Reviewid: 127462Chapter: 19
This was wonderful.... Keep it up.... Do you have any others? Think this book rates just as good as the real stuff....

Reviewer: Lisa DuDate: 2005-07-18
Reviewid: 127389Chapter: 19
I was 2 chapters away from finishing this when HBP arrived at my door, lol I seriously considered finishing this first cause its so good. Now that I've read HBP, I think you've got a few points right. I liked the idea of Snape teaching Harry... really missed that in HBP. Your writing is really good, and you think up really cool ideas. I think your writing also got better as the story progressed. Congrats on a job well done!

Reviewer: RebeccaDate: 2005-07-16
Reviewid: 127319Chapter: 1
I LOVED this story! In fact, several times during reading I forgot that it was not written by JKR... I was not as thrilled as before when I read The Order of the Phoenix and your story really made up for that. I so hope you'll continue your work and write a sequel!

Reviewer: AnnDate: 2005-07-12
Reviewid: 126964Chapter: 19
This was a really nice story to read while waiting for the next JKR book. I think you did a good job at having a emphasis that is much different than JKR's usual take on things - much more introspective and focused on relationships - in a way that was still true to the characters and the world. I love that Snape still isn't what you'd call cuddly, though I'm not sure about the red-eyed confessional scenes :) ...Really a wonderful and ingenious story. Thanks.

Reviewer: lilithDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126818Chapter: 19
this was so very good. the highest compliment i can think of is that i bought into it completely. it wouldn't be out of place as the sixth book in the series. (of course, you'd have to make it a lot longer!)

please, you've definitely got the gift. you must start writing your own material.

Reviewer: LilyDate: 2005-07-10
Reviewid: 126725Chapter: 19
This was a really good fic. The part where Snape almost died and how Harry brought him back, actually made me cry for a good reason. The emotions were so good, and so intimate, and sooo real, that it blew my breath away. Are you going to do a sequel? I hope you do. You have a good writing style and I enjoy reading your writings. Write more, please!

Reviewer: KD McEntireDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126401Chapter: 19
I've rarely read a better fanfiction. I sat down and read it all in one go. Wonderful work.

Reviewer: AnonDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126381Chapter: 19
Great piece. Excellent character development for both Harry and Snape. Really enjoyed reading. Thanks!

Reviewer: taedaDate: 2005-07-05
Reviewid: 126121Chapter: 1
I just wanted to stop back in before the 6th book comes out, to tell you how much I enjoyed your fic when I read it earlier this year. I still think about it sometimes, and imagine little alternate scenes, or what the summer after your 6th year would be like. I just thought you should know that. It's a remarkable fic.

Reviewer: Annie Is A HpFanDate: 2005-07-05
Reviewid: 126076Chapter: 19
It's passed midnight and I am dead beat tired. I just finished your story and it was BLOODY BRILLIANT.

Thanks for sharing it with us!!!

Reviewer: Garibaldi's CatDate: 2005-07-04
Reviewid: 126061Chapter: 19
This was spellbinding!!!!! You kept me up reading until the wee hours of the morning.

Reviewer: JennieDate: 2005-07-03
Reviewid: 125947Chapter: 19
I have to say that this was the best HP fanfic I've ever read. You managed to let the characters change and grow without going out-of-character. I cried when Molly died, but I suppose there are casualties in war. I must say I've been worried about Snape ever since we found out he was a spy. I only hope that JKR does him justice as you have.


Reviewer: s38Date: 2005-07-03
Reviewid: 125946Chapter: 19
Great. I've historically been a great cynic of all fan fiction, but this one was a joy to read. Thanks a lot!

Reviewer: EuphrosineDate: 2005-07-03
Reviewid: 125939Chapter: 19
Great story! This is a really great read; I read it all in one sitting! Any plans on writing a sequel? I was pleased that you managed to bring the story to what felt like a natural conclusion without tacking on some rushed final confrontation. In fact, I thought the story was well paced the whole way through: I actually felt aware of the passing of the school year, just as I do when reading JK's books. Please keep writing: you clearly have a talent for it.

Reviewer: darksiren666Date: 2005-07-02
Reviewid: 125888Chapter: 19
That was awesome! Totally and utterly awesome! I couldn't get off the computer for days, plus I had to go to work, so my parents must have relieved to finally get some computer time. I definately need my own computer. Well anyway great story! Plus you get a HP/GW cookie for offically making a pure slash fan (that would be me just in case your confused)actually into Harry Potter & Ginny Weasley pairings. *gives cookie* Congratulations!

Reviewer: LuluDate: 2005-07-01
Reviewid: 125760Chapter: 19
I just finished this and trust me, it was the best Snape-Harry relationship stories I've ever read. Very touching and lovingly written. You have a great feel for all the characters and I loved the way you worked in the H/G.

Reviewer: LoriDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125427Chapter: 19
This is one of the most brilliant pieces of fiction I have ever read, fanfiction or not. Not only is your writing supurb, but you ability to provoke emotions within your readers is second to none. Right along with Harry, I could feel his anguish and helpless feelings in face of his visions from Voldemort. And right along with Snape, I could feel his coldness melting away, being replaced by shame and horror, especially after Harry confronts him with his secret. And Snape's revelation? Absolutely brilliant! Not only was this revelation something I have never imagined before, but it works perfectly within the scope of the canon. I almost couldn't believe I'd never come to that thought myself through reading the books, but it makes more than absolute sense that Snape knew about the attack on the Potter's beforehand. But reading this revelation, in the copse of this story, moved me more than I can say. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful piece of art.

Reviewer: KevinDate: 2005-06-27
Reviewid: 125401Chapter: 19
Wow congrats. . .this is the best 6th year fic I have ever read.

Reviewer: JaxDate: 2005-06-23
Reviewid: 124934Chapter: 19
Simply brilliant! I do hope that you have a 7th year story planned because I want more of Snape and Harry! So please, I beg of you, write a sequel :-P


Reviewer: ArwenUndomielDate: 2005-06-19
Reviewid: 124469Chapter: 1
This is a great story! Sounds just like JK Rowling would write it! Keep up!

Reviewer: MarconiDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124254Chapter: 19
Amazingly well written- the funeral scenes were especially well done, however my favourite moments have to be those with horrified!snape in. Good luck in all your future endeavours and please continue to write.

Reviewer: LellDate: 2005-06-14
Reviewid: 124016Chapter: 1
Thank you for writing this peice. I love it. I really appreciate the characters staying in character. I don't have much helpful to say, other than that this is my favorite fanfic, and that I've been recommending it to all my HP obsessed friends.

Reviewer: KroDate: 2005-06-14
Reviewid: 124000Chapter: 19
This is the best fan-fic I've ever read! =D If you (Theowyn) aren't an author already you should consider it. Your writing style and story line are amazing.

Reviewer: Alice SmithDate: 2005-06-12
Reviewid: 123796Chapter: 19
I have just finished reading your fic, and all I can say is wow. This is one of the best snape mentors harry stories I have ever read. I loved so many things about it, but most of all I loved how you have documented harry's and snape's journy's. I have read so many stories where within a chapter snape and harry are best friends, and your story was so much more believable. Thankyou for writing this story it was a pleasure to read. Were you planning on a sequal? I would very much like to see harry's final confrontation with Voldemort. Do you have a yahoogroup or livejournal, I would like to be able to belong to them to see when you have updated. Thanks again ~Ali

Reviewer: MeggDate: 2005-06-11
Reviewid: 123753Chapter: 19
A very nicely written story :) I loved your characterisation of Snape - in character but very 3D. Only complaint is i *really* wanted to read about them defeating V and living happily ever after! Any chance of a sequel??

Reviewer: jaderookDate: 2005-06-10
Reviewid: 123679Chapter: 19
I'm ridiculously bad with giving concrit, but I'll try anyway. You do have some very minor spelling issues. Although they're so minor, it almost isn't worth mentioning. Now, with that out of the way, I just want to say how much I've enjoyed this fic. I love Harry, I love Snape, and I love seeing both of them in-character. You managed it all, and that's not easy. I enjoyed the Legilimency/Occlumency vein you chose to follow as well. Thank you for writing such a great fic. It's nice to read something good after encountering so much that isn't. I'd almost given up hope there. As fond as I am of AU stuff, I'm constantly reminded that good canon type fics are rare and fabulous treats.

Reviewer: yukkaDate: 2005-06-10
Reviewid: 123657Chapter: 19
Hello, Theowyn! I can't find anything even remotely helpful or intelligent to say about the story but I thought I'd let you know I enjoyed it very very much. Thanks for writing and sharing it with us all poor souls waiting for the next book to come out.

Reviewer: aliceDate: 2005-06-05
Reviewid: 123344Chapter: 19
the best fan fic i've read so far. Even better than 'after the end' in many ways n believe me thats the highest praise I cud give. I don't know about technical aspects but I think this story wud touch anyone.

Reviewer: nikiDate: 2005-06-01
Reviewid: 123162Chapter: 19
I am very impressed . . . and I don't say that lightly. I think this is possibly the only story I've read in which Harry and Snape have become reconciled to eachother in a way that fits in with their characters, and the world in general. I suppose I could think of a few nitpicks if I really tried -- for example, you did a good job incorporating Ginny enough that she didn't ever fade into the background, but in my opinion it may have been more effective to time their big moment differently (just to avoid a sort of sense of wrapping up loose ends) -- but they are all highly subjective, and only occur to me upon intent reflection. Your characterizations were spot on, you stayed true to the feeling of the books, and you have a unique and highly effective writing style. Furthermore, there are many aspects to your story that I wouldn't be surprised to see crop up in book six: for one, H/G!!, but also the importance of Occlumency/Legilmency and Harry's connection with Voldemort (of course), a closer relationship with Remus, and Love/Friendship/Forgiveness/whatever-you-want-to-call-it as "the power the Dark Lord knows not." And more besides, I'm sure. Lastly, congratulations; a story this length is a significant accomplishment, but one that is high quality: even more so.

Reviewer: stefflesDate: 2005-05-30
Reviewid: 123047Chapter: 19
I really enjoyed this story. You make an in character Snape be a mentor to Harry with only some natural changes in both. Quite skillful. Thanks for a great afternoon of reading, always to be treasured.

Reviewer: CatiechanDate: 2005-05-30
Reviewid: 123020Chapter: 19
Excellent story, very believable. I can easily picture something like this happening in cannon. Great job!

Reviewer: IsabelleDate: 2005-05-29
Reviewid: 123011Chapter: 19
This goes without question as being one of the most realistic Book 6 tryouts I've read. Snape as secndary character was very enjoyable to me, very surprising since he's not exactly my favorite character. I loved the undertone of Harry & Ginny, great job!

Reviewer: petikeDate: 2005-05-29
Reviewid: 122996Chapter: 19
This was great! It's only my 3d fanfiction that I have read but this was very enjoyable and very true to the original story (and I liked that) yet it had a lot of innovation that made it unique. I simply love the humor. How about a sequel to this? :)

Reviewer: IssyDate: 2005-05-29
Reviewid: 122987Chapter: 19
'“I trusted you!” he cried in anguish. “Why did you have to make me trust you?”'

This line was HEARTBREAKING.

All in all, this is the best characterisation of Snape I have ever read, and far and away the best Harry/Snape interaction I have ever seen. The way their relationship developed as they slowly built up a rapport and learned to trust each other... it was fantastic.

I feel like a really shallow reviewer not being able to find anything to criticise, but I honestly can't. This story had awesome characterisation, a fabulous plot and was fantastically written. I particularly enjoyed the emphasis on Occlumency and Legilimency - they get sidelined far too often in fics because people think they're too difficult to deal with.

I really, really enjoyed this story and will be on the lookout for anything new you post!

Reviewer: AngelbotDate: 2005-05-28
Reviewid: 122955Chapter: 19
Sequel! Sequel!

Reviewer: fhippogriffDate: 2005-05-28
Reviewid: 122931Chapter: 19
What a brilliant story! I've had the most wonderful couple of days. I think there are about 4 or 5 truly great Harry/Snape stories that are OotP, and yours is one of them. I like how awful Snape was, how in character, and you still made him a sympathetic character. That's wonderful writing, really, to be able to pull that off.

Reviewer: Torina ArcheldaDate: 2005-05-27
Reviewid: 122885Chapter: 19
OMG!!! This story is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! There will be a sequel, right? I hope you post it soon! Would you email me when you post it (if you do) please? I would appreciate it a lot! I love how in character everyone is in this fic! And I absolutely adore a good Sev-metors-Harry fic! Please write a sequel soon!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: EJCDate: 2005-05-27
Reviewid: 122867Chapter: 19
Wow - this was a great story. The characterisation was amazing; Snape and Harry were both realistic and in-character, but you developed them and moved them forwards well.

Reviewer: crumpleDate: 2005-05-27
Reviewid: 122856Chapter: 1
best snape-mentors-harry story ever! Congrat!

are you gonna write a sequel?

Reviewer: EJCDate: 2005-05-27
Reviewid: 122817Chapter: 1
A good start to what promises to be an interesting story. I look forward to seeing what happens between Harry and Snape.

Reviewer: TishDate: 2005-05-26
Reviewid: 122737Chapter: 19
This was brilliant. Utterly brilliant. Without a doubt the best Snape/Harry mentor story ever. Ever. And I’ve read a lot of them. Everything was spot on, from Harry- who was portrayed perfectly, warts and all, frequently reckless, too caught up in anger and emotion- to Draco Malfoy- who maintained exactly the level of infuriatingly petty self-satisfied evil that he does in the actual books.

You achieved the precisely the right level of emotion, both in dialogue and in narration. JK Rowling doesn’t have Harry bursting into tears and hugging people (that’s Hermione’s job) or having in depth discussions of his feelings and rhapsodising about love. Fanfiction often has a tendency towards melodrama that the novels just don’t have, even when Harry is being silently introspective. JK Rowling, while not at all sterile, is not is not frivolous with emotion, if you know what I mean. If I know what I mean. What I am trying to say is that it was not just dialogue, or characterisation, but *tone* that you captured. Chapter 11 is especially perfect. Snape may have the “How did I ever mistake him for James?” moment, but he doesn’t immediately start calling Harry by his first name and giving points to Gryffindor. The “tone” is maintained not just in moments of despair, but in scenes like the final Harry/Ginny scene at Hogwarts.

I always thought that any story which had Snape and Harry creating some sort of mutual goodwill could only be inherently uncanon, this doesn’t have to take away totally from enjoyment of the story, but I felt it was an unavoidable price. Until I read this. In fact, you’ve sort of spoiled the genre for me. That was the main drawback to this otherwise *wonderful* story.

Legilimency and Occlumency were extrapolated amazingly so that lessons did not become repetitive or seem overly simple as they can in fanfiction.

Reviewer: AshleyDate: 2005-05-26
Reviewid: 122717Chapter: 19
This fic was recommended to me a while ago and about halfway through the first chapter I stopped reading it. However, recently I got desperate for finished fics and came back to this one. I'm really glad I did, I love the relationship between Snape and Harry. Are there any plans for a sequel?

Reviewer: BlackStarDate: 2005-05-23
Reviewid: 122615Chapter: 19
Love the story. It was amazing and you had me feeling for all the characters, even Voledmort( only pity) and I think you did a brillint job with the characterization in the story and i look forward to reading more of you word.

Reviewer: TheowynDate: 2005-05-21
Reviewid: 122539Chapter: 1
For anyone who is interested, the links listed below refer to the threads at the HPGalleries where a detailed discussion of HPEW has ensued. All input is very much welcomed. :)

Reviewer: ophite68Date: 2005-05-17
Reviewid: 122197Chapter: 19
I thought you did a wonderful job in developing the relationship between Harry and Snape without compromising either character. And a very readable writing style too.

Reviewer: we3Date: 2005-05-15
Reviewid: 122118Chapter: 19
Just wanted to say that this was a wonderful 6th-year fic; very in-character, some imaginative surprises and unexpected turns; very enjoyable to read. Excellent work. This will always be a favorite of mine.

Reviewer: CheddarTrekDate: 2005-05-13
Reviewid: 122004Chapter: 19
Brilliant Story, I have reviewed in the past I think, and everything I said still holds.

Are you intending a sequel? You'll have plenty of readers if you are, but if not...


Reviewer: JakeDate: 2005-05-12
Reviewid: 121971Chapter: 19
Wow this story really developed as you went along. It really seemed like you settled into it and it just flowed so well. It felt exhausting to see Harry spend so much of the year tired and beaten, but it was all worth it when he turned out so resolute because of everything. All very good ideas and I really hope you have a sequel in the works! Let me know if you could! Anyway, great, well written story. Loved it.

Reviewer: DinaDate: 2005-05-07
Reviewid: 121557Chapter: 19
Really wonderfull story!
I loved it! I liked how develop Snape and Harry's relationships. And that Snape wasn't the White...I could believe that Snepe turn Wormtail to Voldemort... It seems real... And the ending was great too... The "talk" Snape with his Slyherins was intersting too...
Well... this story was one of the bests I have read... well they aren't many, but any ways...
Dina ;C)

Reviewer: EmilyDate: 2005-05-06
Reviewid: 121518Chapter: 19
I found a link to your story on a fansite. I haven't read a lot of fan fiction, but this is definitely the best I've read yet! I was literally on the edge of my seat at certain points! This is the only fiction that I've become involved in enough to hardly be able to "put it down."

I really liked how you handled Snape and Harry's relationship. I kept wondering about Lily's story, but I can see that you were more focused on portraying how Harry related to the men in his life. I have no real criticisms, though. The story was an excellent fan fiction effort!

Reviewer: VikkiDate: 2005-05-06
Reviewid: 121508Chapter: 19
I found your story because Aspen recommended it in her LJ. And I love her works so much that I think it's worth trying. And I'm glad I read it. I love your story very much. It's so canon that I can imagine many things you wrote could happen in book 6. And I like your writing style. You made the characters true to their own characters. And I like the mind connection, occlumency and legilimency that you explored. Actually I liked almost everything about this story. It's one of my few favorite stories. Hope to see the sequel soon. Thanks for sharing this.

Ah! I'm proud to say I figured out correctly about Ryan. About his real intention regarding Professor Snape, I mean. Maybe most people figured it out too but I like the way you write him. It's mysterious and interesting. It kept me interesting. It just likes JKR's style. By the way, I'm impressed about the back story of Ryan since 20 years ago. Impressive.

Reviewer: TeawithVoldyDate: 2005-05-05
Reviewid: 121429Chapter: 1
W00t! It's been awhile since I found myself engaged in a good WIP. And your's is just like a breath of fresh air. I love the twists and turns. A couple of times, I had to remind myself that this isn't JKR's books, lol, because some of the surprises made me smile. I love your writing, and your style, though there was something in this chapter which I think needs to be expanded a little more.

Harry is attacked by Voldemort in his home, frightening as it is, you've captured it well, but when he is rescued by Remus, I felt that you didn't develop the scene in Harry's POV very well. Like from being attacked, to rescued, then suddenly everything's almost fine and rosy. Realistically, it wouldn't happen like that. Even the books display some sort of trauma and remembrance. I thought it was rushed and underdeveloped and the only time it's brought up is when Snape's in the room, but even then it seemed the subject of the attack HAD to be brought up for the sake of the chapter and not for the natural progression of the plot and charactisations.

Mrs Weasley's charactisation is another concern. You've done her well, but when Harry meets her after the attack, I would've though she'd be more worried and terrified than she was. And I would've thought she'd try to hug Harry to death. Harry was attacked and almost killed, how would you feel if that happened to your closest friend/child? Look at how Molly reacted after the Quidditch World Cup attack and you'll see what she's like.

Also... not the biggest quibble of this chapter, you forgot the subject of Divination in his OWLs, lol!

Other than that, I'll be looking forward to reading the rest. :D

Reviewer: AnonymousDate: 2005-05-05
Reviewid: 121392Chapter: 14
I like how in this fic, Harry helps a hurt Snape. In most other Snape-mentors-Harry fics I've read, it's usually the other way around.

Reviewer: DanaDate: 2005-05-04
Reviewid: 121345Chapter: 19
I stayed up all night, and then went to work, and stayed up all night, again, to finish this tale.

Simply wonderful. Excellent use of internal voice, and there great faithfulness to the characters! What an excellent plot! And I really loved how the relationship of Harry and Severus evolves- slowly, but beautifully! And yay for Comyn Ryan!

I loved how you showed the developing bonds betweeb the students of different houses, the rivalries and the consequences of stupidity and hatred. Wonderful!

Just wonderful! Thank you so much for such a great story!

Reviewer: xikumDate: 2005-05-04
Reviewid: 121340Chapter: 17
Whoo. OMG, that was an intense, tough chapter. The revelation was incredible, and Harry was absolutely correct. I am wondering more & more about Ryan, though... at first I thought he was trouble, then I thought he was good, kept going back & forth. Now, I am convinced that his is good, and I am wondering very much about his history, his place in all this. And of course, I am quite disappointed in Draco, I thought that as a Malfoy, at least he would see what the DL was doing to his father, and wouldn't want to be anyone's slave.
Very, very excellent chapter.

Reviewer: kannnichtfranzoesischDate: 2005-05-04
Reviewid: 121333Chapter: 19
Oh. Really, really good. And I found it just after you posted the last chapter. I had forgotten how nice it was to be able to read a fic all the way through from beginning to end, like a real book and everything... ;) (You know, before fanfic I never had an appreciation for all those books in the library... they all end, every single one of them!)

Anyway, this was fantastic. My favorite part is the letters at Christmastime... I could not stop laughing about that, I just kept breaking out in giggles for hours. ;) And your plot makes so much sense, it's very believable the way you portray Snape's role in Harry's parents' death. The slow but steady progression of occlumency and legillimency for Harry was outstanding, I was really impressed with how believable you made it. I didn't get the deal with Crabbe and Malfoy acting oddly in Hogsmeade until I read your post that it was Lucius under polyjuice delivering the wand -- it makes total sense now, thanks for posting that. Professor Ryan was a great character. I wasn't sure about him at first but when I finally decided what he was doing for Snape I appreciated him quite a bit! And your Snape is really rather perfect, he comes up with the best things to say... I want to smack him and laugh at him and savor his angst and intensity, all at once.

I was a little disappointed in Harry when he didn't stupify Bellatrix when he had the chance... I realize that was necessary for the plot, but I think I'd've preferred them to get into a little more of a standoff where Harry had no choice but to listen to a bit more before his emotions took over there.

And yes, I would so love to read some short fics about the summer! That would be lovely! Thanks so much for sharing this great story. :)

Reviewer: VerdeniaDate: 2005-05-03
Reviewid: 121287Chapter: 19
Yaaaaaaaaaaay! Ahh, truly an excellent story. Very believable and well-done. Awesome. Superlative. You get the idea. Cheers!

The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For questions, please send us an Owl!

-- Powered by SQ3 : Coded by David : Design by James --