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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Watching for Wolves
Review(s): 64

Reviewer: Grace has VictoryDate: 2008-08-18
Reviewid: 150961Chapter: 6
It was definitely the right decision to split “Teeth” into two sections. There is nothing that should have been left out and the teeth are, after all, a very important aspect of the story – they deserve more space than eyes, ears and hands.

The cameos of the Weasley family were wonderful – and I loved the onions hanging from their kitchen ceiling! Percy is distracted from lecturing his siblings by a criminal who is running in the corridors; but he loves being told what to do so long as its within the rules. I definitely wanted to be there for the Weasleys’ Christmas. It can be difficult to hit off Mrs Weasley, so congratulations for suggesting her bossiness without withholding her warmth. Ah, the ear-piercing! I let my daughter have hers done when she was ten, and of course she knew girls who had been pierced since infancy…

The disappearance of Scabbers was also well handled. It can be difficult to retell a canon event from an alternative PoV and still keep it fresh, but I really felt Ron’s anger and Hermione’s defensiveness. But the best part was the original bit – Ginny empathy!
The first dream was delightfully mysterious. For Ginny the mystery is why Roman and Germanic mythologies are being delivered in hieroglyphics. For the reader, holding half the keys to your imagery, the question is how the benign wolf will lead Ginny to the real source of the evil and what Sirius Black has to do with the question anyway.

The second dream was hair-raising. The reader knows how Scabbers is connected with Tom Riddle, but of course it’s all a terrifying enigma to Ginny. I know Ginny was relieved to wake up, but I was left wishing she hadn’t had to, as this dream had brought her so close to cracking the mystery. I’m on tenterhooks to reach her final moment of revelation!

Reviewer: ClytymnystraDate: 2008-04-19
Reviewid: 150795Chapter: 6
Am really enjoying this! This is one of my favorite years and it's great to revisit it all with a twist in perspective--particularly Ginny's.

Reviewer: silverfeatherDate: 2008-01-26
Reviewid: 150465Chapter: 6
Hi, Could you please finish write the next chapter please! You are really good writer.

Reviewer: Vega BlackDate: 2007-12-30
Reviewid: 150277Chapter: 6
I've been enjoying reading your work. This is a truly satisfying fic. I can't believe I haven't comment much before now. I loved your depiction of Snape's classroom and his interactions with the students from Ginny's POV. Luna was very clever in how she handled Snape. But then Luna has experience with bullies. Luna handles him as she would anyone. She defends her thinking logicly and calmly. I loved it.

I also loved the interaction in the next chapter between Hermione and Ginny. Hermione's fear of Harry's anger is something I have always noticed. She was quite willing to fight with Ron but backs away from Harry. This isn't a sign that she is more comfortable with Harry but less.

Ginny's assemssment of Hermione's behavior is perfect. Both in character for Ginny and insightfull of how Hermione actualy treated Harry.

I like the friendship between Ginny and Neville. This is how I have imagined their relationship.

Reviewer: DragonDiDate: 2007-11-30
Reviewid: 150054Chapter: 6
I wasn't quite sure if I'd like this story--I've never really gotten into anything from Ginny's POV. But, I like Lupin, so I figured I'd give it a try. Next thing I know, it's the 7th chapter! Very smoothly written. So close to what I'd figure the characters would really be like. Great job! Looking forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: AzaeliaDate: 2007-11-30
Reviewid: 150053Chapter: 6
Thanks for the message telling me this was updated! I loved it as usual. You write such wonderful character interactions. I see flashes of myself at that age in Ginny and her friends...and her being made to blush by professor Lupin is just rather sweet, in an awkward teenager sort of way. I'm sure I'd have been blushing, too.

I'm really interested in seeing where you'll go with this in the next chapter, but also sad that it's ending.

Great work as usual, and I look forward to the next segment!

Reviewer: shimotsukiDate: 2007-11-27
Reviewid: 150007Chapter: 6
I'm really enjoying this story -- your Ginny is very believable, and I love this take on Lupin as a mentor for her. (The wolf on the card was a great touch.) It's also fun reading between the lines to see hints of things we know that Ginny doesn't.

Reviewer: HelenHDate: 2007-11-25
Reviewid: 149997Chapter: 6
So glad you revived this fic, Starsea, I so love your 12-year-old Ginny. What you create here is a real sense of her transition from timid-Ginny, traumatised by her encounter with Voldemort, into the feisty, gutsy young woman she naturally promised to be (sneaking her brothers' brooms from the broom shed etc). She is rediscovering her own nature, her strength of character and her vibrant personality as she makes good friends of her dorm-mates and watches Harry from a (safer) distance. A necessary transition for any 12-year-old!
I like that she has a unresolved and unacknowledged crush on Professor Lupin. I sympathise. However, since he looks rather like a slightly older, more world-weary James McAvoy, who can blame her? ;)
I loved Ginny's observations about the Quidditch game in Part1 'They won't cancel.' Heh.
And poor Neville, so proud as he told her his solution to the forever-changing-password problem *shakes head* Oh, and 'Custard'. Ginny discovers she has the power to silence the twins with a mere, appropriately-timed word. Ron has been trying to get them off his case for years, I love that Ginny instinctively knows how - this skilfully foreshadows her character development in the later books, and her knowing relationship with the twins (no one else is permitted this power over either of them).
Looking forward to Ch6, even if it does mean this saga coming to an end.
xx

Reviewer: hp4-sauceDate: 2007-11-23
Reviewid: 149985Chapter: 6
This has been an exceptionally well written and enjoyable story. Your depiction of Ginny in her second year as she faces her demons against a backdrop of her feelings for Harry, is incredibly well developed and exactly how one would imagine her. Really excellent. I'll be sorry to see it end.

Reviewer: Lady TehanuDate: 2007-01-15
Reviewid: 146890Chapter: 4
I´m so awefully sorry I comment so late. I was on holiday and now I´m trying to catch up, so let´s come to the point:

I can´t say often enough how well you describe and characterize these 12 year old girls. The whole breast discussion is speaking volumes. And I´m still amazed I can see four very different characters. I especially like Esmé. She´s just so cool and the way Ginny´s charcter develops in your story and the following HP books, she´ll be a perfect friend for Ginny.

I also like your glimpses of Luna and how perceptive Ginny is about her situation. Ginny generally is very perceptive. The way she analyzes Professor Lupin´s reactions and comes to a more or less correct conclusion is quite mature for a girl her age. But it´s also comprehensible as she compares his situation with her one.

What I really found interesting was the fact that nearly all her brothers make a direct or indirect appearance in this chapter and she has different opinions on all of them.

Charlie can be of help for Esmé and she has no second thoughts about offering her a contact to him. Percy might be a nerd, but she can see his attempts to help her. The twins are more or less the playground for her character to become the tomboy she develops into. I mean, whoever survives the Weasley twins and can put them into place, shouldn´t have problems with anyone else male and mischivous. Which in my opinion is the reason for her future social success. She´s popular, because she is sure of herself but not mean.
In contrast to the twins Ron is still close enough to her own age, that she can defend him. I like the way she puts the tory of Custard in front of Hermione wihtout giving her too much of a talk. She knows Hermione well enough to know she can think things through on her own.

Soooo, after the carrot the stick (it´s just a small one):
I have to agree with Solarius Scorch on the "popular psychology". Your story is very fluent and your characterizations very believable, but the way you describe Ginny´s progress to come to terms with her experience is sometimes a bit stiff and predictable. Please, please, please don´t kill me now. I can imagine it´s very difficult to write something like this and personally I´d make a beeline around writing such things myself. I just wanted to point it out, because it´s the only weak point in your story.
Although I have to say that your parallelism to Little Red Hood is still very good, especially the version Dahl has given to us is so fitting for the Ginny-to-be.

Keep on with the good work.

PS
Did I mention I ordered Dahl`s "Revolting Rhymes" because of your intro? Noooooooo? Well, now you know. Laughed myself silly, by the way.

Reviewer: gijane7702Date: 2007-01-08
Reviewid: 146791Chapter: 4
Another fantastic chapter, dolls =)

I love Ginny's developing relationship with everyone, but how she doen't forget Harry.

The Esme/Charlie thing is cool. You should do a oneshot where they are together, raising magical creatures and disgusting (in Ginny's eyes) in love.

OMG...Fred and Geroge were SUCH naughty boys! Doing that to poor Custard! But they ALMOST make up for it when they become BigBrothers!Fred and George. *sigh* Do you think they'll ever fully understand what happened to Ginny?

Ginny and Remus' developing relationship is great. I love that he was in her dream (Moony!) at the end. And your descripion of Padfoot is perfect! The unicorn is wonderful. And she went throught the DOOR!!

But what's with Catherine!! Dude, she's 12!! (going on 21, eh?)

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: AzaeliaDate: 2006-12-31
Reviewid: 146686Chapter: 4
I'm so glad to see that you're still working on this story!! It's no problem being patient--this is worth waiting for!

I love the way you write Ginny...she's so easy to relate to. I'm glad that she finally made it through the door. Ginny's friends are great fun to read: they're very accurate eleven or twelve-year-olds, and in fact remind me quite a lot of my friends and I when we were all that age.

I loved the part with the unicorn, too. It was very sweet.

I'm really looking forward to the next chapter! I know I said it's worth waiting for...but obviously, I'd prefer not to wait too long... :-)

I'm really looking forward to more interaction between Ginny and Lupin. You write them both so well.

Great work--keep it up!

Reviewer: Solarius ScorchDate: 2006-12-28
Reviewid: 146645Chapter: 3
A very nicely written story, I must say. The grammar is correct, the emotions and impressions are wrote right, the people are more or less in character (I'm near the end of "Part Three: Hands" at the moment, mind you). I really like reading about Ginny, and while Your Ginny is not completely as I see her, this is obviously inevitable in any story by anyone.
My only objection is something which is, I dare say, painfully common in many fics on SQ, which I would rudely call "kitchen psychology". By that I mean psychologizing in a fashion that is not rooted in academic psychology, nor true human experience, but rather popular psychology, which one can find in magazines, leaflets, social manuals. This whole possession thing reminds me strongly of a "I Have Been Raped" leaflet, or something similar. My point is not to say that I don't care about human psychology and emotions (that's what the literature is about after all) or that being possessed by Voldemort is not like being raped (because it is, in a way), but that all this is smoothly packed in the same set of words and ideas, like something that was neatly packed in an old box. To sum up, I would like to see some more personal experience in Ginny; what she feels and thinks is much more complicated after all than the simple fear <-> bliss continuum (yes, I've seen "Donnie Darko" movie, but I mean not only that). Ginny, for example, also has her dark side (the one that demands fear and subservience), which is something different than Riddle, and other personalities - and each one has something to say on the matter, which makes Ginny not quite sure what to do (as anyone would be in such a situation).
Of course it's easy for me to criticize, as I never finished writing any fanfic :) Still, I like Your work (otherwise I wouldn't bother to write such a long review!), and would be extremely glad if it helped You a little in the future.
Remember of the Beast inside. And everyone else there, too...

Reviewer: DragonladyDate: 2006-12-25
Reviewid: 146604Chapter: 4
I love this story. I really, really do. You have Ginny's characterization down perfectly, but my favorite part is the relationship she has with Remus. I attended a small private school, where the teachers and students traditionally get to know each other quite well, and your Ginny/Remus relationship (not the particulars, obviously, but the general sentiment) is so wonderfully reminiscent of the one I built with one of my teachers that I can't help but smile.

Reviewer: dogstarDate: 2006-12-21
Reviewid: 146552Chapter: 4
Your writing is beautiful in this chapter: natural, fluent and nuanced. You move from dialogue to description seamlessly, with one caveat. The only slightly jerky moment is when the scene chanes with the information that 'Harry begain to distract her', which seemed a bit sudden. Otherwise the whole chapter is pretty well flawless!

I enjoyed the character development of Ginny's friends very much. Esmé is a good foil for Ginny - as grounded and brave as Ginny herself but with individuality in her liking for animals. Speaking of which, I loved your characterisation of Fang - he's such a sweetie but I don't think I'd appreciate his slobber either! The scene with the girls talking about National Geographic and female centaurs had me giggling - very saucy ;). I like the way you're not afraid to take those sort of risks with language. Teenagers ARE generally pretty coarse, let's face it - it's not just Ron!

The scene in the forest with the unicorn and the centaur was wonderful. From the draft we read, you balanced out the two conversations with Firenze and Hagrid perfectly. I loved this description:

~the pale horn that rose above its forehead like a cathedral spire

The scenes with Hagrid was fun - "Did I say ‘centaurs’? I don’t remember sayin’ ‘centaurs’" LOL!

Great chapter - looking forward to the next.

Reviewer: JMKDate: 2006-12-20
Reviewid: 146549Chapter: 4
OOO! It's very good! Aww I love Remus so much. I like the scene with Fred and George. I always love scenes when the Weasleys are together, because there's nothing better than redheaded sibling rivalry, right?

Lol owl me when you have the new chapter, please!!

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-12-18
Reviewid: 146479Chapter: 3
More?

Reviewer: AryaDate: 2006-09-15
Reviewid: 145343Chapter: 3
Very intersting so far! I like Ginny, and reading about how the events in CoS affected her. Also, her "becoming a woman" is kind of funny. I like that Lupin is helping her, that's so sweet of him.

Great fic so far! :)

Reviewer: Grace has VictoryDate: 2006-07-11
Reviewid: 144109Chapter: 3
I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to sit down and put my responses to this polished-up draft in writing. Please don’t take it personally; I’ve been neglecting everyone equally.

There were wonderful character moments in this chapter: Colin walking up to Harry without shyness, Ginny apologising to Luna, Snape not appreciating anything if it’s from Gryffindor, Neville (“Longcheek”, LOL!) wearing a pair of fluffy red ear muffs, yet another member of the unfortunate Gudgeon family, Luna with her mandalas and gurzles, the “Weasley blush”, Oliver Wood’s complete rejection of false modesty … the list just goes on. A really stunning achievement here:

<<Professor Lupin had somehow managed to impress Percy and the twins at the same time, a feat accomplished in her memory by only one other person, their oldest brother Bill.>>

It was really clever of you to notice this Bill/Remus parallel (first Bill, second Lupin, and third nobody!), especially in the light of HBP. But I must protest the introduction of Demelza Robins – she was in third year in HBP, so she can’t be at Hogwarts as early as PoA.

The action and settings were very vivid too. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to cast a bat-bogey hex at everyone who reminded us of past embarrassments? Yours was a really vivid description that filled a gap that JKR has so far left open. Then there is the whole theory of Quidditch:

<<“…the secret of being a good Chaser is being able to pass and mark at the same time.”>>

When I read about the need to keep eyes, ears and hands permanently engaged, I could feel the wind whistling through my hair, and I was so busy watching for bludgers that I nearly fell off my own broomstick. I hope you’ll be telling us more about lucid dreaming. I only wish I could control some of my dreams like that. If there is any chance that Ginny can control the horrors of her subconscious, she ought to grab it! And of course I loved the glimpse of Lupin’s study.

<<Some of the books looked very old, the leather on the spines cracking. She could smell paper, beeswax and an unpleasant smell of dank water.>>

There were lots of insights into the perceptions of a 12-year-old.

<<It was a pity that social success didn’t cure nightmares.>>

LOL! Well, naturally not. If only it did! It was a great relief to see Ginny’s dorm-mates turn out to cheer her on. She really is becoming a social success – we see the beginnings of how popular she will be a couple of years hence.

<<Ginny watched her go, stunned. Then a small smile made its way to her lips. At least she wasn’t getting special treatment. Good old McGonagall.>>

Yes, how comforting to be punished like everyone else!

<<Next morning, the Gryffindor table went silent as she appeared. Ginny ignored the silence and sat down to breakfast, although her appetite seemed to have vanished.>>

I wonder why?

<<She could see Hermione and Ron casting worried glances at her from where they were sitting, though Harry didn’t even notice.>>

Naturally not. Oh, the torment! Not abandoned, except by the person who matters.

<<Please don’t tell me I’m going to start fancying Professor Lupin as well, and be one of those girls who’s in love with five men at the same time like Catharine, I couldn’t take that!>>

Aaagh, nor could I!

The encounter with Sirius Black was very well-timed and executed, and seemed completely natural. Just when I was focused on Ginny’s internal journey, the plot twisted outwards again, reminding me that Ginny has this year as well as last year to deal with.

In summary, I was with Ginny every step of the way in this chapter.

Reviewer: dogstarDate: 2006-07-04
Reviewid: 143949Chapter: 3
I've read all three chapters today and I'm really enjoying this. Your style is wonderfully Rowling-esque, it's like having new canon! I must say, even *I'm* finding Ginny's crush on Harry a little tiresome. Isn't it interesting how it never bothers him, even though he can't bear it when anyone else moons over him? ;)

I loved your examination of the Dark Arts in chapter three. I'd agree - love potions are *very* borderline.

Maybe I haven't been paying attention but I'm finding it a little hard to distinguish between Esme, Catharine and Rowena at the moment - perhaps this is deliberate? Your Luna and Neville are perfect, do I spy a crush on Ginny from our Neville? It makes sense, a clever parallel with Harry's behaviour towards to her.

I never realised you were such a Lupin / Ron fangirl ;) I love the way you've portrayed both of their relationships with Ginny - a refreshing variation on the Harry-cam.

Lovely story Laura, I'm looking forward to the next update.

Reviewer: JMKDate: 2006-06-22
Reviewid: 143596Chapter: 3
I absolutely adore your story. It's so refreshing reading a story from Ginny's POV that actually sounds like it's from the perspective of a 12 year old girl, but is written by someone who knows what they're doing.

Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2006-06-08
Reviewid: 143303Chapter: 3
Lovely work here Starsea. I've seen a few one-shots showing Ginny and Lupin, but this is the first chaptered fic. You're putting plenty of depth into Ginny's character; she relates to each of her brothers differently, both appreciating them and being frustrated by them for different things. The early scene with Ron was touching - as was the brief glimpse of Percy with his head-boyship peeled back to expose his 'real' self.
In this chapter I've enjoyed the development of Ginny's character around Quidditch, especially the early meeting with Demelza, and the rocky road with her dorm-mates. I like the fact that they are somewhat seperate from her, that they can be antagonistic, but can equally easy be friendly. They aren't merely her tormenters or her stalwart buddies or even just the uncomprehending mob. They seem to have depths of their own.
The variety of scenes you're giving us and the strong characterisations make your story-telling rich and enjoyable.
Thanks

Reviewer: dzennkaDate: 2006-06-04
Reviewid: 143218Chapter: 2
I just wanted to say that the Diagon Alley scene is the most accurate depiction of early-adolescent emotions I've ever seen in fic. The awkwardness of clothes shopping, how easy it is to get embarrassed in front of your peers, how parents just can't seem to do anything right - it all brings back horrible memories :)

Reviewer: Lady TehanuDate: 2006-06-03
Reviewid: 143200Chapter: 3
Nicely done again. I really enjoy your story and how very cannon your characters are, especially Lupin and the glimpsle we got from Luna. You´ve got them down pat.

The way you decribe Ginnys feelings and how she´s reacting to her roommates and tries to get on with everyday live are very believable, too.
You are showing me how she became the confident girl who once was afraid of talking to The-Bigggest-Prat-Alive. It´s quite a developement to fight some DE in a Ministry after being possesd by their boss some years before and as Rowling doesn´t give us a glimpsle of this progress, it´s nice to see it so well done here :-)

Keep on with the good work. I´m looking for updates!

PS:
Thanks for that bit of German in your story. It made me grin happily to see it ;-)
PPS:
And the idea with the chapter titles is really funny. It made me reading the story at the beginning. Now the characters are keeping me here.



Well...the titles, too!!!

Reviewer: AzaeliaDate: 2006-06-03
Reviewid: 143192Chapter: 3
I remember reading this fic the last time it was updated (so long ago!) and I was overjoyed to see the title up again.

I adore your Lupin. Actually, I just adore Lupin, and you've hit the nail on the head as far as his characterization goes. I'm a bit picky when it comes to him in fanfic, so great for you! :)

I really feel terrible for Ginny. You're showing her to be a very brave young woman, and I admire that. Ginny angst usually isn't something I go for, but your style is different--she's not just feeling sorry for herself, but trying to do something to fix it. I love all the little glances and thoughts on Harry: so very teenage girl...and it shows that she is more than just her PTSD.

I can't wait to read more of this, so I hope you update soon!

Reviewer: gijane7702Date: 2006-06-02
Reviewid: 143188Chapter: 3
Where to begin...

I love your Ginny. She's perfect. Feisty, yet unsure of herself; loving of her brothers, yet still a pre-teenaged girl.

Her acceptance by her Housemates is wonderfully done, as is her beginnings on the Quidditch pitch (always nice to see Wood).

You’ve made me wonder that another reason Dumbledore hired Lupin (who is wonderfully in canon-and that’s not the friend and fangirl talking either) that year (besides the whole ‘Black thing’ ;)) is because he would understand Ginny and be able to help her. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit now, actually.

Keep up the good work. Do I get a preview of the next chapter? &#61514;

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2006-06-02
Reviewid: 143185Chapter: 3
Great progress, both with the story and the way Ginny, even from the beginning chapter till now, has started to take control more.

At first I was thinking it was rather random that Ginny would talk to Remus that soon after meeting him, but after reading that part, it seemed completely natural, and he is just so perfect for the job.

And the last sentance "She would accept this helping hand for now" shows that yes she is ready to move on but she is still very cautious, deliberately or no.

Reviewer: buckbeakbabieDate: 2006-06-02
Reviewid: 143182Chapter: 3
I'm really enjoying this story. I like how you're conveying Ginny's recovery. It think its a very good explanation of why she wasn't on Harr's radar during books 3 and 4. She had a lot to get through.

I also love your Luna, and the glimpses of how her and Ginny came to be friends.

Oh, and I totally understand Catharine's crush on Remus. How can anyone resist him? ;)

Reviewer: St. MargaretsDate: 2006-06-02
Reviewid: 143178Chapter: 3
I'm so glad you're continuing with this story, Starsea. First, I love the illness you've "given" Ginny - actually I do think that's what her second year must have been like when she was off Harry's radar. Second, I love how you portray those horrible, gripping feelings of being out of control - about Harry, about being teased, about her place in Hogwarts. I'm right back in junior high! This is a tough age to capture and you've really done a good job.

I also like the little flashes of humor and spunk that will be the Ginny of HBP. I think my favorite line was "Fred and George will be so proud of me" when she got detention.

Your McGonagall and Lupin are flawless. And you've done a fine job of incorporating lines throughout and anticipating canon. I like Ginny's roommates and what you've done with them. Luna seems perfectly IC to me - so don't you worry. This is shaping up to be a marvelously insightful read about one of my favorite characters.

LOL. She so loyal to Harry - even Oliver Wood won't turn her head. What a Weasley.

Reviewer: Fab4MumDate: 2006-06-02
Reviewid: 143176Chapter: 3
This story is very wonderful and complex. Your research and attention to detail really shows! And the Harry/Ginny similarities are striking: "Because I’m contaminated, is that it? Because you have to keep an eye on me. You can’t let me harm the other students, or myself… I have to be watched. I’m dangerous." (Didn't Harry feel the same way about himself once or twice?) "I was a stupid little girl, sir, I wasn’t brave at all.” (Harry protested the same thing about himself - except for the "little girl" part, of course . . .) Definitely paves the way for their being soulmates. :> And this similiarity: "There have been cases where people have found themselves married someone they barely know; a few women were actually pregnant…” Some of the girls shuddered. “Not a nice thought, is it?” Professor Lupin agreed. “Married to a stranger, perhaps even having his baby." (An almost perfect description of Merope and Tom Riddle?) And your descriptions of how an adolescent feels and what Ginny thinks are so well done. What's next for a chapter - "Teeth?" "Nose?" I'm definitely looking forward to whatever it is!

Reviewer: Author by NightDate: 2006-06-01
Reviewid: 143172Chapter: 3
I really, really like this! Harry's irritating the heck out of me, but he always does. (Is it bad that I have issues with the main character? Probably).

Anyway, great chapter. I like how you're giving Ginny a non-magical malady... it's very, very probable. And PTSD... man, I bet half the Wizarding World has it. But anyway.

Great chapter - cannot wait for more!

Reviewer: shiikiDate: 2006-06-01
Reviewid: 143154Chapter: 3
This is a beautiful, insightful story, and I'm enjoying it so much!
Ginny's battle with Tom ... continuing after the actual ordeal, and Remus's help are really striking and I was touched, really touched by how you've portrayed it.
As for Remus ... I never really thought about it, but now that you've mentioned it, I realised how true it is that he would be admired by both Percy and the twins!
And I do hope Ginny, like Hermione, discovers Remus's secret (possibly before Hermione!) and keeps mum about it, because she realises he's a good person!
Well done, and keep up the good work!

Reviewer: Lady TehanuDate: 2006-03-31
Reviewid: 141493Chapter: 2
I just found your story and wanted to leave a comment behind so that you have some reason to go on with it ^^ I really like. Ginny is very good captured and her behaviour with Molly is absolut in character for an 12 year old girl (I have a sister of that age right now and have the real version to watch every day ^^)

I especially liked the scene with Luna, Neville and Ginny on the Express. It´s nice missing moment, just like the scene with Malfoy and Neville. And I also like how you characterized Ginny´s roommates. Nice individuals, no problem to tell who´s who. That´s something I haven´t expererienced often.

I hope for more. Tschüß!!!

Reviewer: pickledishkillerDate: 2006-03-12
Reviewid: 140843Chapter: 2
Hey, wow.... I really like this story, please O please keep typing =)

Reviewer: gijane7702Date: 2006-01-13
Reviewid: 138446Chapter: 2
Wonderful so far....update soon!

I agree that she would have nightmares (and probably still does) yet you show her in a positive light which is impressive. I like how the girls were discussing the new DADA prof (very typical--course it IS Lupin, who blames them).
Ginny's crush is perfectly done. She's still stammering around Harry, but her new 'friends' will give her more confidence.
Liked your into of Luna. She's as 'loony' as usual.
Neville was adorable as usual.
Ron was perfectly Ron. The caring big brother who forgets his sister exists when Harry and Hermione are around.

Keep going!

Reviewer: pickledishkillerDate: 2005-12-21
Reviewid: 137527Chapter: 2
Update, please? It is just so... neat.

Woohoo.

Reviewer: Sagacious CDate: 2005-11-20
Reviewid: 136057Chapter: 2
I often wonder about this transition Ginny has gone through -- the trauma of being possessed into the strong character she becomes. I like what you're doing here. Update soon!

Reviewer: *Date: 2005-10-30
Reviewid: 135519Chapter: 2
6 live ‘uns? And how many ‘ghosts’ do you think there are?

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2005-10-04
Reviewid: 133746Chapter: 2
[However, this summer – triggered by some diabolical chemical in her brain – her body had started to change. Along with all the indignities the boys had to bear – shyness, spots and body hair – she, as the only girl, had a special irritation in store for her.



Ginny shifted from foot to foot on the fitting stool and thought for the hundredth time that she didn’t need a baby at twelve, didn’t want a baby at twelve, and wasn’t even sure about kissing a boy, let alone anything beyond that. She refused to think about kissing Harry.]

Gah, that was just *great*!!! You really capture the irritation girls have at discovering the joys of puberty, like "can't this wait until I'm in my 20's and am ready to be thinking about babies?" And poor Ginny, in a house full of boys who have no idea about the horrors of PMS and tampons. You really wrote that scene well, there's humor and a strong sense of *relating* to a 12-year old girl without patronizing or simplifying those feelings at that age. Just loved it!

[‘If you have business, please use the knocker and wait. If you don’t, clear off.’]

*snert* That sounds just like the goblins. Hilarious!

[She just wished that Hermione could appreciate her luck. But of course, it would be even worse if Hermione did start appreciating her luck and seeing Harry as more than a little brother.]

Nice interiors there. Love how astute Ginny is and the slight jealousy is a sweet touch.

[And how were you supposed to know it was evil? It’s not like it had snakes on the cover or ‘Slytherin Rules!’ written all over the pages, right?”]

Hahahaha! You capture Hermione's humor really well. *pictures Voldemort with a "Slytherin's Rule" tattoo*

[The other girls had asked her if he’d given her ‘the Kiss of Life’, if he’d said anything ‘romantic’, and it had been so embarrassing because the reality hadn’t been anything like that. Harry had been covered in blood and sweat and dirt, holding a sword, his green eyes burning into hers, and she’d wanted to crawl into a corner and die from the shame of what she’d done, the embarrassment of him seeing her like this, and the terror of what would happen when her parents found out…]

I really liked this, the "fastasy" of being rescued contrasting with reality.

[He jumped to his feet and pulled his robes down from the coat rack, along with some empty gum wrappers.]

Awww, gum wrappers. *huggles Neville* Great touch, very subtle.

[Being small put you at a distinct disadvantage in a crowd: you couldn’t see anyone, and your nose was at the level of a normal person’s armpit.]

As a short person, I totally get where Ginny is coming from!

[Ginny wondered how Percy could protect them from the Dementors: bore them so much they decided it wasn’t worth hanging around?]

*snert* Imagines Percy giving the Dementors a lecture on thin-bottomed cauldrons. You really capture Ginny's sense of humor so well!

Great chapter! Awesome story! Can't wait to see Ginny/Lupin interactions and what Lupin teaches the 2nd years!

I'm surprised you haven't mentioned the Weasley's trip to Egypt in any great detail. I'd love to hear Ginny's take on it.

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2005-10-04
Reviewid: 133742Chapter: 1
[Ron stood there, familiar and deeply reassuring: pyjama bottoms showing his ankles as usual, the arms of the top nearer his elbows than his wrists, eyes almost shut, swaying slightly. Ron never woke up quickly.]

Great description of Ron. You really get the details that Ginny would notice. They're unique, yet intimate as only one sibling knows another.
I also liked the line of "It’s in the book, it’s in the book, he’s in the book-!" Very creepy, reminds me of something from a Stephen King novel.

[prodding forward one of his knights. The white knight shuffled forward nervously. He was being eyed by his black counterpart on Ron’s team, who slowly and carefully drew his finger across his throat.
You’re dead.]

Great detail there and just a little creepy.

Fabulous interactions among the Weasleys...this feels like an original piece with a family getting back to normal after one of the children has been injured. The dynamics are just great.

Reviewer: Grace has VictoryDate: 2005-09-17
Reviewid: 132714Chapter: 2
A long chapter, but worth the wait. Ginny is beautifully captured, Professor Lupin has presence (so, unfortunately, do the Dementors), and Ron, Harry, Hermione, Neville and Luna are hit off exactly right. (I've always wished that JKR had given Luna a walk-on in each of Books II-IV - it would have been much easier to accept her as an important character if we'd already been made to notice her.)

<<Ginny shifted from foot to foot on the fitting stool and thought for the hundredth time that she didn’t need a baby at twelve, didn’t want a baby at twelve, and wasn’t even sure about kissing a boy, let alone anything beyond that. She refused to think about kissing Harry.>>

So nice to read about a NORMAL 12-year-old instead of an I-skipped-middle-childhood-and-become-adolescent-at-seven idiot!

<<“I don’t know… it seems like yesterday I was in here getting Bill fitted,” Mum sighed. “And now here you are… my little girl…”

“We’re here to get Ginny some new robes, she’s grown so much this summer, but it’s your age, isn’t it, I’m sure you girls have experienced the same thing.”>>

Oh, the agony! Why can’t mothers mind their own business?

<<‘If you have business, please use the knocker and wait. If you don’t, clear off.’>>

Trust a goblin to make the point clearly.

<<Mum looked stricken. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I just wanted to help. I thought if I was nice to them, then maybe… I’m sorry.”>>

Yes, trust the well-meaning mothers to make a mess of it. I wonder how many times I've embarrassed my own children so far?

This was a brilliant description ...

<<Ginny felt her stomach curl up and her heart suddenly slam into the middle of her chest, thumping against her ribs. Her cheeks were burning>>

I remember exactly the same thing happening to me at the ripe old age of 19. I still hadn't developed any self-command in the presence of the Beloved.

<<He’d saved her life because she’d been a stupid little girl.>>

And the indignity would haunt her for the next 150 years.

The scene between Hermione and Ginny hit the right note. I definitely have the impression that by the time they meet on the train they have become friends.

<<“Ginny Weasley,” Luna said dreamily. “You got taken into the Chamber, didn’t you?”

“Harry Potter rescued you, didn’t he?”>>

So very Luna! Tactless from anyone else, but very right for Miss Lovegood.

The moment when the Lumos spell fails is a frightening one; it's such a basic spell, and it really brings home the terror of the dementors.

I have to admit to laughing at the Malfoy encounter. It's so very nasty of him to trick Neville like this:

<<“Heard you were in Potter’s compartment, Longbottom,” Malfoy said, his eyes gleaming with greed. “What happened? Did he cry? Did he wet his pants? I bet he ran screaming out of the door –”

“No,” Neville said defensively, jerking his sleeve out of Malfoy’s hand, “he fainted, actually!”>>

Poor, poor Neville!

<<Neville smiled uneasily and opened the door for them. Rowena gave him a polite smile as she got in, but Esmé and Catharine barely glanced at him. Ginny waited until Neville got in before making introductions. “Neville, this is Rowena Penhallow, Esmé Crosse and Catharine Watson. This is Neville Longbottom.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Rowena said. Neville blushed and shuffled. Esmé nodded. Catharine looked at him for a moment and then dismissed him, focusing on Ginny once more.>>

You can really learn a lot about a person via her attitude to Neville, can't you? I already like Rowena the best of the dorm-mates. Interesting choice of names ... Rowena must be Welsh or Cornish, Catharine is presumably from the North, and Esmé is from a more genteel family?

<<“No,” Ginny said, picking her words, “he didn’t have a fit. He wasn’t exactly at his best, but nobody’s at their best when a Dementor’s around, are they, Catharine?”>>

Oh, clever Ginny! Harry ought to notice her for producing a reply like that. And well done Neville for changing the subject so well.

<<By now the rumours were ridiculous: Harry had actually stopped breathing, there had been ten Dementors in the compartment, Professor Lupin had faced them down with a rod of fire, Professor Lupin gave out free chocolate to anyone who asked… >>

Interesting how rumours grow, isn't it? I only wish that last one were true ...

We're on our own now ... we don't really know WHAT Ginny did in her second year at Hogwarts. I'm hoping she'll make friends and be nice to Luna. And I can't wait to meet Professor Lupin again.

Reviewer: Grace has VictoryDate: 2005-09-17
Reviewid: 132705Chapter: 1
This is a wonderful hook into your story. The Little Red Riding Hood imagery is seriously creepy. (I'm interested to discover that you apparently have a very literal translation of the original German open in front of you.)

The dream sequence at the beginning was eerie - just like a dream, and the kind you hope you'll never have.

I'm glad Ron bothered to come and find out what was wrong. Ginny complains that her brothers tease her, but we saw them at their best in this chapter. I thought this remark was very perceptive

<<He always reacted with his emotions, just as Percy always reacted with his head, and the twins always reacted with humour>>

and that Ginny was just the sort of person who would notice it.

Just like the twins to go to town on Harry blowing up his aunt, and Percy the Law-Abiding was perfectly in character too. Any symbolism in Ron's black knight destroying Percy's white one?

Obviously we know why

<<“I’d rather have no support at all than have the support of someone like Lucius Malfoy,” Ginny said fiercely, sawing a piece of bacon off from the main rasher>>

but her mother's choice of allegory must have stung.

<<"A lot of politicians are wolves in sheep’s clothing.”>>

I'm looking forward to meeting the Sheep in Wolf's Clothing who will enter Ginny's life on 1 September.

Reviewer: ScribblerDate: 2005-09-11
Reviewid: 132285Chapter: 2
I'm glad I found this fic. It's very well written, and you've clearly put a lot of thought into how you present JKR's characters. Ginny seems very in character, and what we see of Luna is dead on. Nice OCs by the way.

Reviewer: Morag CamshronDate: 2005-08-30
Reviewid: 131343Chapter: 2
Well, the chapter was definitely worth the wait! Not only was it nice and long, but you wove little details (like how Malfoy found out that Harry had fainted — Neville told him!) into your story nicely. And I think that you had Ginny react to Molly’s (well-meaning) mothering very realistically — I could just FEEL her embarrassment and frustration with her mother in their interaction at Madam Malkin’s. It is going to be really interesting seeing Ginny’s character progress throughout this. Keep up the good work!

- Morag Camshron

Reviewer: Cheesy MonkeyDate: 2005-08-23
Reviewid: 130628Chapter: 2
Absolutely loved it! I can't wait to read the next chapter. <3

Reviewer: AdaDate: 2005-08-22
Reviewid: 130596Chapter: 2
I've been waiting so long for this update and the story has just gotten better and I just want the next chapter more. I like the little details like Neville having the candy wrappers and meeting Luna.
I don't remember if anyone else pointed this out but I really think Ginny's journey is important and from her point of view the throw away line that Ron tells Ginny to go away when its her first day back to school after the Chamber. Its so much more important than i really even thought. If that makes sense.
So... I'm very excited to read more.

Reviewer: EmilyDate: 2005-08-20
Reviewid: 130456Chapter: 2
This is such a good beginning! Very realistic, excellent characterizations. Very true to canon. Hope you update soon.

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-08-18
Reviewid: 130356Chapter: 2
**AUTHOR'S RESPONSE**

CornedBee, the chapter titles correspond to the epigraphs at the beginning of the chapters, which comes from the tale of 'Little Red Riding Hood'. The first one focused on hearing, how difficult it is to distinguish from hearsay what is true and what is false; this one focuses on the eyes: looking beyond the surface of things, how people judge others on their clothes, and their looks. Both themes are important for Ginny, naturally.

Thanks for reading, everyone!

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2005-08-18
Reviewid: 130352Chapter: 2
This is excellent so far. Although I have to admit, I don't understand the chapter titles. What do they have to do with the respective contents?

Reviewer: Patricia SheaDate: 2005-08-18
Reviewid: 130282Chapter: 2
I am really enjoying this! "HP & the POA" was my favorite book & to see it through Ginny's eyes is fantastic! She is very believeable the way you have written her. Please let me know when you update the story...

Reviewer: ReynaDate: 2005-08-18
Reviewid: 130248Chapter: 1
Wow. This is really good. I always wondered what went on with Ginny and you've done a great job of getting inside her head.

Reviewer: Samantha HayDate: 2005-06-07
Reviewid: 123433Chapter: 1
Are you going to finish this? I really want to see what happens. Also, please tell me how to submit a story because I don't know. I really like your story so far so please continue with it. All the best

Reviewer: Patricia SheaDate: 2005-06-01
Reviewid: 123167Chapter: 1
I like your beginning! And the Dahl quote you started with was perfect to grab attention... & provoke thought. Some experiences change us -- drastically -- whether we like it or not & you have already captured the essence of that. It will be interesting to see where you go with it!

Reviewer: W. W.Date: 2005-01-14
Reviewid: 110852Chapter: 1
Write more! I love it!

Reviewer: AbigailDate: 2004-12-21
Reviewid: 108220Chapter: 1
I really like this. I think your way of writting Ginny's POV is really nice, light and believable... thanks for sharing!

I like that little scene at the beginning when Ron goes to check on Ginny. It struck me as rather nice and caring. Well, he *is* a nice and caring brother, after all.

Oh and your reference to Little Red Riding Hood at the beginning was really nice, and the way it flows with the story... well, it makes sense. Ginny was pretty inocent, trusting Riddle and all... in a little red riding hood style.

Oh, and I think it's really nice you've read the "Revolting Rhymes". I read them when I was ten, and they had quite an impact on me. LOL!

Reviewer: Cat FeralDate: 2004-12-14
Reviewid: 107744Chapter: 1
Not bad. Are we going to see Chapter Two fairly soon?

Reviewer: Antonia EastDate: 2004-12-13
Reviewid: 107653Chapter: 1
Brilliant beginning. I love your Ginny, especially the way she cried for Ron. That was so touching. The snatches of the Little Red Riding Hood story were perfect too. They managed to be really chilling at times - 'You're dead.' Oof!

Reviewer: adaDate: 2004-12-12
Reviewid: 107571Chapter: 1
I can't tell you how happy i am that you're writing this alternate pov. Its something I've always wondered about and having just read Ron's 'all that glitters' I'm completely confident in your style and characterization.
This chapter has a great tone to it. Sort of muted, like Ginny is still not totally up for air. The moment with Ron in particular actually made me emotional and the one line '... the time they hadn't listened for her, hadn't listened to her' Just made me want to cry.
I am highly in love with the possibility of h/g which is where this next comment comes from: reading this fanfic makes me wish that harry someday understands truly how hard it was for ginny. Really- this and the 'all that glitters' with Ginny being left behind. In these stories so far it just feels like you've struck a balance between the Ginny that Harry knew at first (shy, sweet, caring) and the Ginny that we got to know in Goblet and Order (sassy, strong, confident). And personnally I think that is the toughest thing to do... to tie the two parts of Ginny that we know of from the books into one cohesive girl.
I am so disappointed I found this story so early on- its such a treat to be able to read stories all in one go. But I'll be looknig forward to seeing your name on the updates page!

Reviewer: Kit the BraveDate: 2004-12-10
Reviewid: 107482Chapter: 1
Wow! I thought Ginny was excellent. She's so perceptive of everyone's feelings and motivations, but in a really believable way for someone her age. I thought you handled Ginny's pov seamlessly -- even calling Molly "Mum."

Very glad there will be more!

Kit

Reviewer: nightcrawler1089Date: 2004-12-10
Reviewid: 107456Chapter: 1
Ooh, is this going to be a whole year fic? It sounds very exciting...I've never read one about Ginny's second year.
I'm looking foward to this!

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2004-12-10
Reviewid: 107448Chapter: 1
I love Percy's lines in this chapter. He's starting to side with the Ministry against his family, but is more of a discussion than choosing sides. I also must say I love the idea of the story. Most pieces dealing with Ginny recovering from Tom Riddle are one shots, and well those are all well and good, its also nice to see some character development, which this story seems to promise.

Reviewer: SreyaDate: 2004-12-10
Reviewid: 107433Chapter: 1
Oh, I love this! You've started very well, I'm so excited about this story.

The Red Riding Hood connection is one I never made, but very appropriate for Ginny, and ironic considering Remus Lupin. I'm guessing you'll use it throughout the story?

And I liked the Weasley family discussion at the end of the chapter. You've given everyone some nice development in the light of OotP, and we can see how the opinions expressed here will lead to such a huge family blowup in only 2 years.

Reviewer: LorieDate: 2004-12-10
Reviewid: 107428Chapter: 1
Great beginning!
I love your Weasley family conversation, all the personalities shine through. I especially liked the way you planted seeds of Percy's eventual break with his family.
One very, very teeny note: in canon, Dobby made the pudding fall in the Dursleys' kitchen (in the film, it was the lounge). I know I shouldn't be so picky, but I am trying to fight the non-canon film images that pop up in my head!
I am really looking forward to the next chapters! Great job!

Reviewer: emma moonDate: 2004-12-10
Reviewid: 107403Chapter: 1
I think this is a great beginning to a great story. Is it going to cover all of Ginny's second year? Will it go beyond? Could you let me know by email when you update? Awesome story!

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