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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 54

Reviewer: Vega BlackDate: 2008-02-14
Reviewid: 150519Chapter: 7
I've written my comments backwards from part IV Muggle Mail. I of course read in the proper order but now I've reread the story and I'm amazed at this having read the final end. This was a thought provoking and lovely series. I kept thinking through out this story about the resposibility we owe other people and how that responsibility is carried out. The conflicting resposibiltiy Arthur owes the people who hired him and the children he teaches is so well defined. His bosses don't care about the welfare of Arthur's students but Arthur does. At times I was so angry at the treatment the children receive from the ministry.

Your ending was lovely. I was worried about the effect of Arthur's leaving on a child who has experienced abandonment. Arthur was so sweet.

You know children and write them well having so much experience with this age. It shows in your writing. The characterization especially of Benjamin was flawless and complete.

I loved the last two chapters they were very exciting. Arthur's rescue of the children and the death of the were wolf were very well done. His decision not to Obliviate Cath was emotionally satisfying.

This was an excellent series.

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2007-12-09
Reviewid: 150117Chapter: 7
Lovely romantic originality, here. Like a breath of fresh air and, as you say, not the norm at all.

I was impressed by the way you've thought so much about werewolf dentures, too. Clever!

All in all, a well-written story and a well-written ending - at least for now...

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2007-12-09
Reviewid: 150116Chapter: 6
There are so many little details in this chapter that I like. For some reason the plan to 'officially' injure Benjamin strikes me as comical. Equally, I liked that we only saw Molly's reply to Arthur's letter and not Arthur's letter, because then we were given a side-skewed view of Arthur's own theories - that they wanted to wake up early, bless, and were worried abouu party photos.

Nice suspense and good, gripping action scenes. My only criticism is I would have liked the threat to have been something that was in some way foreshadowed. The werewolf came out of left field, somewhat.

Oh, and, 'Nothing! It's my Birthday!' was pretty funny, too!

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2007-11-24
Reviewid: 149992Chapter: 5
Right, constructive crit: Didn't like the tone of your opening paragraph, most particularly the last line of it. I felt a little spoon-fed. It would be okay if you were going for a kid audience, but I think your story is more than that.

In general, I really loved this chapter. Cath was wonderful and I liked her waking up Benjamin. And the adventure was great! I was confused about the bike though, how could it balance without someone on it? I know it fell over once, but I would have thought it would have fallen over more often than that. Does it have stabilisers on it? That would make sense.

That women is insane! And Timothy is cute. Awww!

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2007-11-18
Reviewid: 149950Chapter: 4
The word that jumped into my mind when I had finished this chapter was 'artistry'. I feel like I'm reading a story written by an artist. The structure of this chapter is picture-perfect, but it's reflective of the deeper themes and keystones of your writing. Each section focuses on a child and this really allows the story to hone itself to your particular skills - which, at least in this story, involve getting inside the minds of child-characters and making them live on your pages.

But what I admire is the fact that you must have planned this out so carefully. It's just beautiful. The middle chapter of seven is something different and unique. It's divided into the account of the longest day of seven characters. And once again it's the middle one which really captures us because it's Benjamin's story and it's a beautiful one. He's at the heart of this story, just as these wonderful character snapshots provide a structural heart to the 7 chapters.

Artistry, you see?

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2007-11-11
Reviewid: 149891Chapter: 3
Well, I can't really do constructive criticism, but I can give you insight into the common denominator of you readership (me!). You lost me a little at one stage, so I'll point that out.

"Arthur sank into Margaret's seat and let himself stare out her window. She'd never be able to see the ocean.

*^*

On Friday, she admitted as much and more."

It took me a lonnnng time to figure out what Arthur meant by "She would never get to see the ocean". First I thought it was some kind of prophecy, then I thought it was a reflection on people not escaping St Ottery, before finally I decided it meant she would never actually be able to get to see the ocean from that location. And then I still don't know what the first line of the next section means. She admits that she can't see the ocean from the window? Where? Or just that she admits she's concerned in a general way?

This was another great chapter, all in all. Although I really did feel Arthur's sadness about ripping up the photos and that's brought me down a little, so I can't be as effusive as usual. But that's what you want. You're taking your reading on a journey and that's awesome.

Nice job!

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2007-11-03
Reviewid: 149814Chapter: 2
Le sigh. Superb characterisation again. It's so wonderfully diverse in terms of the characters and you really get inside their heads and give them all voices, which is an impressive feat in third person. As an example, this is ridiculously adorable:

"Margaret was nearly in tears by the time the Head Teacher signaled the beginning of the school day. She glumly anticipated everyone scattering at lunch as they had the day before, and then again at dismissal. She would never get to show them what she'd seen, they would never believe her, and she would never figure it out and be famous on the six o'clock news."

It's such a lovely capture of the world through the eyes of a child, with its pains and dramas, and dreams, too. The letters were great, as well. Your knowledge of how children think and write is evident. Some of the creative misspellings were fun, too, especially as I knew how painful they must have been for you to write! :p

Arthur is gloriously blind in regards to Molly and has some wonderful moments, as well. His fascination with the ballpoint pen and confiscation of it was gloriously funny, as was the TV gaffe, particularly with Timothy's perfect contribution. Hee!

Good chapter, Stu! Muchly enjoyed.

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2007-10-27
Reviewid: 149746Chapter: 1
Urgh, I wish I wrote like you. I want to say that your characterisations are wonderful, which is true, but your physical descriptions are pretty fantastic, too. So I'll just go through bits that I especially like.

The kids are fantastically diverse and make great combinations. I like the description of Benjamin as an "eager, spotted dog". That combined with the rest gives you a really neat idea of him and makes him very likeable.

Also have to say how much I adore your Arthur. He's glorious. So shy and uncertain, but kind and amusing. And clueless! Oh, the thoughts/remembrances about Molly are hysterical. Hee! And lovely little jokes about not planning to have kids. And his shouting. *giggles gleefully* Plus fascination with sellotape and light-switches.

Makes for a wonderfully warm introduction. One feels at home in the story immediately.

Reviewer: moonyprof1Date: 2005-11-24
Reviewid: 136245Chapter: 7
Wow. That was *exceptional*. Excellent. I've always adored Arthur Weasley, anyway--I'm so glad you gave him his own story, and the details are all right. Love the mooncalves.

Reviewer: WarriorDrgnMageDate: 2005-11-18
Reviewid: 135987Chapter: 2
Truely faboulous agian. I like the way each child has a different personality. I love how you kept Arthur's lack of disipline. ("Did they really? How did it go?" and so on)

Reviewer: WarriorDrgnMageDate: 2005-11-18
Reviewid: 135985Chapter: 1
I started reading this bcause it got niffled on the FictionAlleyPark. Which is odd for me because I usually don't read stories about the minour Harry Pottervres characters, but that's neither here nor there.

Anyways I found your story very well written. Particularly Arthur's love of everything muggle, it's embeded without being over done. Well done!

Ta!

~Lucy~

Reviewer: Stubefied to gjegjeDate: 2005-10-01
Reviewid: 133530Chapter: 1
Gjegje,

I hope you see this. First, thank you very much for taking the time to let me know what you thought about The Muggles! I really appreciate it.

There are still some tidy and punctual kids around these days, although they may be few and far between! As for what Molly sees in Arthur, she didn't see anything at first. He was just a tutoring project. I imagine he grew on her for two reasons. First, he probably got to know her better than anyone had in a while, since she was so intimidating. Second, she got to watch him tackle something that was really difficult for him and to help him triumph over it, which can really tug at the maternal heart. She saw him at his best, and who wouldn't love that?

I hope you like the rest.

Stu

Reviewer: gjegjeDate: 2005-09-30
Reviewid: 133465Chapter: 1
Hi
I read a lot but I donīt review so often. I just liked your story so much I had to. Iīve always been enthralled with relations between the muggle and wisarding worlds and I think youīve handled it in quirky JKR sort of way. You donīt give satisfactory explanations for why things are a certain way and you donīt explain exactly how they are. Some consider these things faults in a story but I think they give the reader something to mull over.
The story is very sweet and I love your characterisation of the children and their funny ways, although I donīt remember ever knowing any so bent on tidiing up everything and being on time. Perhaps itīs just the times, things going down the drain...
I loved Mollyīs courtship too. Again, I think it was sweet and funny, Arthur is adorable and easy to be around and Molly charming in her patiency. I still donīt see quite what she sees in him, dunderheaded as he can be but I guess thatīs just something Iīll think over. You might want to think about stereotypes and how you want to break the pattern with that couple.
Well, got to go, rest of your stories to read, reviews to write.
Thank you
gjegje

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-09-26
Reviewid: 133257Chapter: 7
Yay! I've finally read it. It was very interesting and I do want to read more. The only thing I can speculate so far is that Cath's last name is Davies and I know that there was a Quidditch Player for Ravenclaw with that last name. Alas, I do not have time to keep reading and get ready for school. Anyway, great job, and I can't wait until I have time to read the next chapter.

Reviewer: Stu (the one who wrote the story)Date: 2005-09-17
Reviewid: 132754Chapter: 1
To Lurker and Hannah,

I wish I could PM you -- I hope you see this!

Thank you both very much for leaving reviews of The Muggles. I really like knowing that people have read it and what they've thought. I also hope you get a chance to check out the next three parts, because Part I really was all about setting them up.

Hannah, thank you times 87 for the Niffle. I feel incredibly honored.

Lurker, thank *you* for the Brit-niggle. I honestly appreciate anything that can help me make the story better when I get a chance.

Reviewer: Lurker147Date: 2005-09-15
Reviewid: 132581Chapter: 2
I'm really enjoying this story! It's funny, the children are convincingly childlike, and I can quite believe that Arthur was exactly like this when younger.

I have a few minor 'Brit-niggles': we don't call them anchormen, or even ladies, they're newsreaders (I know this spoils a good joke, but I can't imagine any British child in the Sixties knowing what an anchorman meant, they'd probably think it was something to do with boats too...) the Six O'Clock news is a good bit of 'cultural knowledge', though.

"smart" in the sense of clever is definitely an Americanism, particularly for this period, when British children were much less affected by US telly: the appropriate term would be 'brainy', or 'bright', or something like that . And 'carports' are 'garages' (unless they are sheds!)

I probably sound like a Brit with a chip now, don't I? But I can't wait to see where the story goes from here, or what CC is hiding....

Reviewer: HannahDate: 2005-09-12
Reviewid: 132387Chapter: 7
Great story! I thought it was a very fresh and unusual idea for a fic, and the children were all very likeable and believable original characters. Your Arthur was wonderful - I liked the way he was very like he is canon but with allowances for him being younger. The sixth chapter, with the werewolf chase, was very exciting.

Because this is such a high-quality and unusual story, I am going to Niffle it as part of Fiction Alley's Nifflers recommendation programme. A review of the story will be posted on the 'Fic Nifflers Recommend' forum over on Fiction Alley Park. Congratulations.

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-09-07
Reviewid: 131877Chapter: 7
This is excellent work. A wonderful, entrancing read. Thank you very much.

Reviewer: JoDate: 2005-07-27
Reviewid: 128005Chapter: 1
Why bother writing blatant rip-offs of another series - surely your efforts would be better spent cming up with your own ideas?

Reviewer: Stu (to anon)Date: 2005-04-19
Reviewid: 120084Chapter: 1
Hi, anon!

I hope you read this. I'd PM you, but I can't and your question is something it probably doesn't hurt for me to clear up publicly.

No, Cath's current surname doesn't mean anything. I picked it because it's common in Wales and easy to spell. I realized later that she shares it with Roger Davies, but, like I said, it's a common name -- and I was too attached to it to change.

It's good that you're paying attention to details, though. I hope you're liking the story.

Stu

Reviewer: anonDate: 2005-04-19
Reviewid: 120045Chapter: 6
is cath's last name of any significance? (since it is the same as roger davies's last name)

Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2005-04-18
Reviewid: 119864Chapter: 7
Thanks Stubefied. The kids are real and fun and the teaching is believable. I've been through Arthur's feelings about falling in love with then leaving behind some great kids and you've caught it well.

Reviewer: Robert, Julia & BenjaminDate: 2005-04-01
Reviewid: 118395Chapter: 7
Oh, but this can't be the end! We have so many unanswered questions! We didn't find out the name of the werewolf. And now we're not even sure of the identity of the Muggle-born magician (although we're betting on Benjamin).

Robert was extremely disgusted by the scene in which Arthur realises his true feelings for Molly. He really feels it would have been a better story if you'd left that out.

But real-life Benjamin groaned at Arthur's assertion that he'd only ever have two sons and no daughters - what does he know? And real-life Julia was enchanted by the final scene, when we find the mooncalves safely dancing in the Forbidden Forest while our heroes kiss under a blue moon.

So roll on Part II!

Reviewer: Robert, Julia & BenjaminDate: 2005-04-01
Reviewid: 118368Chapter: 1
Who's Cath? Who's Cath? Who's Cath?

And was that werewolf Remus Lupin?

That's all the Alphas want to know this time around.

Reviewer: LoriDate: 2005-03-29
Reviewid: 118017Chapter: 7
Lovely ending. It was very sweet (without being sappy) how Arthur finally came to his senses about Molly. I'm looking forward to Part 2...

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2005-03-28
Reviewid: 117941Chapter: 7
Good fic! Strange that it gets so few reviews. Arthur was wonderfully in character and Molly's brief apperances were well done. His boss reminds me a bit of Fudge. They must all go through the same management course: 1-talk loud, 2-shake hands/slap back, 3-bluster some more, 4-ingore 90% of what people tell you.

Looking forward to Part II

Reviewer: reenieDate: 2005-03-28
Reviewid: 117910Chapter: 7
I love it please write more you're talented. you've stuck close to cannon i think and it seems imho to be a good premise to build your own niche in the potterverse if you wanted to do more stories *grin*

Reviewer: PatriciaDate: 2005-03-27
Reviewid: 117824Chapter: 7
I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Next to Snape, the elder Weasleys are my favorite characters. :)

Reviewer: Robert, Julia & BenjaminDate: 2005-03-26
Reviewid: 117816Chapter: 5
This was almost too exciting! We're curious about the woman with the gun. Why is she allowed to have one - or does she possess it illegally? What is she hiding? We're disappointed that the children didn't see the monsters ... that would have been thrilling (or terrifying) for them, and caused a serious problem for Arthur.

We still haven't worked out who Cath is, unless she's the mother of some Hogwarts student (she'd be JUST old enough). But we're pretty hopeless at picking up clues of that kind, so we'll just wait for our author to reveal the mysteries to us ...

Reviewer: Robert, Julia & BenjaminDate: 2005-03-19
Reviewid: 117037Chapter: 4
"We have NOT been wasting time, we have been listening to a story!" Robert informed his father fifteen minutes ago. And so my alpha-readers have become your gamma-readers.

Robert is absolutely disgusted by the illegal breeding programme. The idea of thestrals and poor innocent cows and ... well, it makes you sick just to think about it. Ezra/Robert and the Christmas dinner was rather repulsive too. But what's life without some excuse to dwell on the disgusting?

Ooh, Benjamin's trick ... the typical bright child ...

Julia liked her namesake better in this chapter. So unfair that children have to be perfect, but no adult is obliged to set a good example!

And I liked Arthur's plug collection. Arthur's in trouble now, isn't he? The Muggles are stupid if they can't track down creatures as bizzare as the bovine horses that graze in circles.

Reviewer: Robert, Julia & BenjaminDate: 2005-03-19
Reviewid: 117036Chapter: 3
Oh, cruel teacher! To destroy students' personal property and then blame a weasel!

But Julia and Benjamin still don't understand what the children are looking for ... what are we hiding here?

We've decided that Ezra will be "Robert" for the time being, although the real Robert doesn't really mind.

Reviewer: Robert, Julia & BenjaminDate: 2005-03-19
Reviewid: 116962Chapter: 2
Another great chapter that we were all fighting to hear! The real Julia is highly suspicious of the fictitious C.C. - is she a witch? She's certainly a girl with a secret. I was very touched by the reference to unicorns - poor Margaret would so much like magic to be real, but she's doomed by the Statute of Secrecy. Benjamin is a delightful character, but I'm feeling I don't yet know much about Ezra - is he the child with the "big round stomach"? The Alphas were round-eyed with horror as Arthur kept on nearly giving himself away, and they can't wait to find out what Margaret saw in the field and how Arthur will explain it away!

Reviewer: AmandaDate: 2005-03-18
Reviewid: 116916Chapter: 1
I am very pleased to have stumbled upon this site but, more importantly, you fan fiction. You write Arthur Weasley so well! Better than anything I could have concocted on him. Well, keep up the good work, I'm really enjoying listening to the characters :D.

Reviewer: Grace has VictoryDate: 2005-03-18
Reviewid: 116870Chapter: 1
My children loved this! Robert wants to know if Stubefied has been stalking our house, because Julia in the story is so exactly like his sister Julia. She even has the straw-coloured hair. Benjamin complained that it wasn't fair that "it's about her, not me" ... so when, two paragraphs later, there was a character called Benjamin, he thought I was making it up! I had to show him the name "Benjamin" written in print! Julia spent a while staring into his eyes, and eventually concluded that, yes, they could be described as "hazel", so that was all right. Then Benjamin said we must strike out "Timothy" and replace it with the name "Robert".

I liked the background role played by Molly, the children liked the reference to the Flying Ford Anglia, and they all laughed their heads off about Arthur not knowing how to use a light switch. We're looking forward to reading the next chapter this evening!

Reviewer: archerDate: 2005-03-14
Reviewid: 116579Chapter: 6
Love it!

Reviewer: AlyssaDate: 2005-03-14
Reviewid: 116518Chapter: 1
its great.way cool=)

Reviewer: AlchemyUKDate: 2005-02-17
Reviewid: 114191Chapter: 2
"You can't be born without a mother!" Arthur spluttered, although he wondered if maybe things were different for Muggles.

You've caught Arthur Weasley's fascination with muggles perfectly: what other pureblood wizard would be so fascinated by ballpoint pens and shiny paper? Great work!

Reviewer: louisaDate: 2005-02-13
Reviewid: 113820Chapter: 4
Hi, nice to have a quick update, thanks! Just a little niggle, English peeps use "shop" rather than "store". Hippogriffs and thestrals! Uh-oh.

Reviewer: PatriciaDate: 2005-02-09
Reviewid: 113244Chapter: 3
Excellent story! I am hooked!

Reviewer: Aaran St VinesDate: 2005-02-04
Reviewid: 112971Chapter: 1
This is fascinating. I have been meaning to read this tale. Why have I been waiting?

Reviewer: Stu to Chapter 2 reviewersDate: 2005-02-01
Reviewid: 112633Chapter: 2
Thanks for your feedback, jolene, nundu, elspeth, mirlda, lousia, and beaker.

I've just submitted Chapter 3 and it should be up at Pince Speed. I hope you like it.

Jolene_xx:

There's only one car, a bright blue Ford Anglia loaned to Arthur by the Ministry so he can have something to park in the school lot. No mystery there, although it ought to sound a little familiar.

Elspeth: I'm glad you liked Cath. She's actually not quite an OC, although if anyone picks up on the clues to who she is I'll be very, very impressed.

mirlda: I promise to keep writing.

louisa: "Towny girlfriend!" You poor thing. I hope I can keep you satisfied with the authenticity.

and beaker: I don't mind nit-picks! But it makes me happy to know I kept you entertained enough not to notice any, and that the kids' personalities and mini culture are all coming through.

Thanks again.

Reviewer: BeakerDate: 2005-01-29
Reviewid: 112326Chapter: 2
Yippee! Chapter 2!

I love your kids. They are such kids! Not only that, they really work well as kids who have grown up together in a small village. They have their lives together figured out, and no outsider adult is going to change how they behave (Benjamin will always be late, Julia will always correct everyone, etc.) They are not really taking advantage of Arthur, but neither do they see a reason to mind what he says.

I also like how you go back and forth between showing what's going on, and telling what's going on via Arthur's musings. Keeps things interesting.

I won't pick any time-traveling nits this time! I'm having too much fun reading.

Reviewer: louisaDate: 2005-01-23
Reviewid: 111864Chapter: 2
This story continues to be delightful. Don't worry, you have enough of a feel for rural life to keep the tone and setting authentic. I think CC's predicament is one many would recognise. I grew up in a small town 2 miles away from my fiances village, and after 5 years his mates still call me his "towny girlfriend"!

Reviewer: mirldaDate: 2005-01-21
Reviewid: 111699Chapter: 2
Oh, this is so much fun! You have Mr. Weasley down exactly. He's great! I hope you keep writing!

Reviewer: ElspethDate: 2005-01-21
Reviewid: 111690Chapter: 2
Cath from Cardiff has piqued my curiosity! I've enjoyed the first two chapters and can't wait to read more. I do like your take on a younger Arthur, v. different from his present day self you a transition between the two seems entirely possible.

Thanks for sharing. -ellie

Reviewer: Jolene_xxDate: 2005-01-21
Reviewid: 111684Chapter: 2
oooh, there are seven chapters. I'm looking forward to them. I did spot one glitch - i'm not sure that the car Arthur arrived in is the one he left in on his first day. He arrives in a brightly painted ford anglia and left in a blue ministry car. There's no real reason why they shouldn't be the same car but I have a feeling that they're not.
Excellent story though, very original.

Reviewer: NunduDate: 2005-01-21
Reviewid: 111614Chapter: 2
Just a note to let you know how much I am enjoying Arthur's adventures. I look forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: Stu to her reviewersDate: 2005-01-12
Reviewid: 110612Chapter: 1
Thank you, everyone, for your thoughtful reviews!

If anyone else notices anything slightly amiss like Beaker did, please do let me know so I can make a list of future edits. I don't mind being corrected.

louisa--I'm glad you're enjoying young Arthur and that you noticed the Ron in him. It's tricky de-maturing a grown man and gratifying that it seems I've succeeded in conveying what I meant and hit some of the right notes. I'm also excited and nervous about you being from that area of Devon. I've done my best to research and portray it, but all most people want to write about are the moors and the beaches, so I was left to my own devices a bit more than I would have liked. I hope I don't disappoint.

*Lori and Angela--I love Arthur and I'm so pleased other fans of his are enjoying him and and the little details. Thanks!

*TPR--Thanks so much for reviewing, even in your sleepy state. I especially appreciate the feedback about the kids. I was worried about readers being able to keep them all straight without me completely bogging the story down in descriptions.

Chapter Two is written (all seven chapters are, actually) but there's a snag I'm working on with my beta, so I won't be able to submit it to Madam Pince for at least a week. Please don't give up on this story in the meantime.

Stu

Reviewer: louisaDate: 2005-01-06
Reviewid: 110005Chapter: 1
I love this story! I have a particular soft spot for stories about Ottery St Catchpole, as I grew up near ottery st Mary in Devon. My sister goes to school there, though sadly, it's called Kings school not Lord muggles, I much prefer your version! Arthur is hysterical and adorable in this, having to curb his enthusiasm and feeling embarassed about the sellotape. There's something of Ron in his attempts to bluster through things, and of course, his density over molly. Please update soon and give us all a treat. Weasleys Rock!

Reviewer: LoriDate: 2005-01-06
Reviewid: 109922Chapter: 1
Great start. I'm rather fond of Arthur so reading about the origins of his eccentricities is fun. It's very amusing that at this point he doesn't expect to have children (or have a future with Molly). I'll be looking out for the next chapter.

Reviewer: Talking Purple RabbitsDate: 2005-01-05
Reviewid: 109810Chapter: 1
I am very sleepy right now and so unfortunately unable to give you a nice, long, coherant review, but let me say that this is an incredibly COOL story and I can't wait for more!

The kids all pique my interest (I loved the bit about large round eyes and stomachs) and you have them dead-on, because I can picture each kid acting the way you described. Arthur is also great; I loved the delving into his psyche and what his home life is like and why he got the job and how he didn't know about lightswitches and Molly "Prewett". :)

Anxiously Awaiting for More,
~TPR

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2005-01-04
Reviewid: 109700Chapter: 1
Wonderful start here.

Reviewer: BeakerDate: 2005-01-04
Reviewid: 109664Chapter: 1
Nice beginning! You've done a good job capturing Arthur's nervousness without SAYING that he's nervous. He just keeps worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing, and wondering what justifies a Memory Charm, and basically thinking and doing the kinds of things anyone does when they're nervous. Great job of "show, don't tell."

I especially like the scene where the sun shifts around and the room is dark. Something so simple, yet Arthur doesn't know anything about it! Which of course is the reason he's there.

I will pick two nits related to 1965:

The phrase "quality time" was coined in the 1980s.

Pocket calculators were not available in 1965. They were first sold at a high price in the early 1970s, but were not cheap enough to be common until the end of that decade.

But you can blame your mum for these minor errors, since she advised you on the sixties! ;) The glitches did not detract from my enjoyment one iota! Keep up the good work.

Reviewer: AngelaDate: 2005-01-04
Reviewid: 109651Chapter: 1
This is an excellent story! I especially loved the part about Mr. Weasley being engrossed in the shinyness of the paper. I can just picture him sitting there, being fascinated by it. I'll look forward to future updates!

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