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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: The Beast of Exmoor
Review(s): 75

Reviewer: moggieDate: 2008-01-04
Reviewid: 150312Chapter: 7
Thank you very much for this. I am really pleased you decided to finish it although Tonks doesn't get her man :). I found this a lovely read although you kept me up late and I really must sleep now.

Thanks once more

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-03-17
Reviewid: 141009Chapter: 7
This was most excellent and I thank you very much for sharing. Simply brilliant.

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2006-03-16
Reviewid: 140991Chapter: 7
That's just perfect. A wonderful, complete story.

You've pinned all the characters perfectly and you've ending is very well crafted. Open, yet full of warmth and potential - which, in my opinion, is everything an ending should be. I have really enjoyed this story and I hope that you keep writing, whether it be fanfiction or original fiction.

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2006-03-16
Reviewid: 140990Chapter: 6
Hi Helen! With all my work, I'm afraid I must have missed you posting the conclusion to this. I hope late but deserved appreciation is better than none at all.

I really liked the tone of this chapter. I think it matches Remus very well. It somehow seems to have a note of serenity even in the height of the drama. Or maybe that's just because I associate serenity with Remus and his actions.

I'm glad you kept the parting of Holly and Remus realistic. I don't think there was any way Holly would have been reconciled to accepting the obliviate charm, and therefore you had to have Remus being dishonest. I really liked the symbol of the apple tree and the general sense of natural life that was portrayed through the garden and the herbs.

And the beast was just cool. Very awe inspiring. Mundungus' explanation was a good way of working in the backstory in a believeable and non-jerky way.

And finally, the Tonks touch was rather well done. Nice and subtle and not waving anything in the reader's face. Good work!

*heads off to check out the epilogue*

Reviewer: aurora luminisDate: 2006-01-29
Reviewid: 139006Chapter: 1
I just wanted to say that I think this is one of the most exquisite HP fanfics in existence. It belongs in the same class as After the End, The Test of Time, and Rising from Ashes: true literature. It excels both in character development and plot. The care and craftsmanship shows everywhere: you have managed to introduce every important element of the plot in your first chapter: no easy task, but highly effective in a short work such as this. I hope you hold on to all those Lupin tales that dwell in your mind. They still could end up 'canonable'; we don't know who will survive the final book. If Tonks doesn,t...

Thank you so much for something that gives both delight and rest.

Helene yes, really my name

Reviewer: outofthecupboardDate: 2005-11-17
Reviewid: 135977Chapter: 1
Dear Helen H, your description of the heathered moor, the skylark's "liquid warble", and using the surfboard as a door were vivid in my mind's eye. Lupin was resigned as always, the careworn professor. I craved those fresh green apples in the last chapter, and even though it was sad, I enjoyed the scene where Lupin obliviated Holly. In this story, I got to see what it is like for a Muggle to find out about magic, I got to see Lupin's mourning and what the psyche of a werewolf is like. Thanks for this piece! What will you write next?

Reviewer: CharyDate: 2005-11-03
Reviewid: 135660Chapter: 7
RL has been so hectic lately I often forget what I'm doing 10 minutes after starting, but I'm almost *sure* I've read part of chapter 6 before. Familiar or not, the whole thing was a delight and having the epilogue to read at the same time was very satisfying - I have no patience! Some of the things I loved: Holly thinking Remus taught Karate (Lol!) Rosemary for remembrance (sniff), the perfectly in character cameo by Dung and Tonks (Mundungus looked a little wary that Remus was expecting him to know something. Hee!) Oh, and Remus's dad moving to my neck of the woods - such a shame this is fiction. ;)

The resolution to the mystery worked really well and I thought it was fitting that the creature was half wizard, half Muggle - the best of both worlds. I know Book 6 messed up the story slightly because of Tonks, but that's why I love *good* fanfiction so much. Lupin is a wonderful character, but we're never going to get to experience him meeting someone as perfect for him as Holly and watching their relationship grow in canon. I liked Holly a lot and the two of them seemed made for each other, which was why Remus Oblivating her was very sad, although I can see why it was necessary. Thank goodness for the kissing scene earlier or I'd have been completely distraught!

Despite understanding Remus's reasons, I'm glad everything ended on a hopeful note: Holly finding her way back to the house despite the spells, her vague sense of recognition even after being Oblivated and the instant connection she felt with Remus. Best of all, and a truly beautiful touch, was that against all the odds her apple tree had taken root. A lovely, lovely story. Thank you for writing it. :)

Reviewer: zsenyaDate: 2005-11-03
Reviewid: 135657Chapter: 1

Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2005-11-02
Reviewid: 135616Chapter: 7
Oh, Helen, that was wonderful! This version of the final chapter(s) flowed and was well paced. I loved your beautiful descriptions. The appearance of the beast and Remus's recollection of the events of that night had a nice magical quality to them. I especially liked the moments between Remus and Holly and his ambivalence about what he knew he had to do. And thank you for the epilogue! Hurray!

Thank you for a very enjoyable tale.

Reviewer: GwenDate: 2005-11-01
Reviewid: 135596Chapter: 7
Just wanted to post appreciation for the story. I'm quite glad you gave Holly a second chance.

Reviewer: Siriusly CanadianDate: 2005-11-01
Reviewid: 135588Chapter: 7
That was a lovely story, GREAT JOB!!!

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-11-01
Reviewid: 135585Chapter: 7
No plans to write a sequel? How about if we take up a collection? I really loved this story. It was like a breath of fresh air. While I was reading it, I really was transported. And it was very well thought out plot wise. Everything came together so nicely in the end.

'The man’s long hair fell over his face as he bowed to pet her dog, and she noticed it was liberally streaked with grey. As he straightened, the man shook his hair out of his eyes and she saw that they were an intriguing grey colour. Forgetting her embarrassment for a moment, she allowed her gaze to linger on his face: he was not a young man – his face was well-lined – yet there was a noble cast to his features that lent them a rugged handsomeness, which she found it difficult to draw her eyes from.'

Nice description of Remus here. Lucky Holly, LOL! Great job, Helen.

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-11-01
Reviewid: 135583Chapter: 6
Fluff or not, I loved this chapter, Helen. You continue with the wonderful natural setting that is very relaxing to read about. I loved Remus and Holly taking a tour of his gardens. The section about the beast was beautifully written. I've always had a soft spot for black panthers and I could visualize yours so nicely - the sleek fur, the graceful movements. You tied up a lot of loose ends and questions in this chapter but it flowed very naturally and didn't seem at all like forced exposition. There was danger, excitement, humor, plenty of magic, and of course THE KISS. Your characters are always very in-character and it's fun to see a smattering of canon characters in a story that took place mostly in a different setting than canon. I felt the interaction between Holly and Remus was wonderfully portrayed. Holly has a distinct personality with much that Remus would find attractive - a calmness, a lightness that would be very soothing to someone like him. You can bet I'm heading straight over to the epilogue right now!! Great job!

Reviewer: TDUDate: 2005-11-01
Reviewid: 135576Chapter: 7
I've enjoyed this story. It must have been difficult to continue writing after HBP came out, especially when you needed to use Tonks as a character, so extra-well done for finishing an interesting and enjoyable tale.

Reviewer: OSUSprinksDate: 2005-11-01
Reviewid: 135572Chapter: 7
I just wanted to let you know that I did indeed make it this far, and enjoyed every minute of it. I don't mind reading AU, as long as it is well written, which this is!

Reviewer: Helen HDate: 2005-10-20
Reviewid: 134865Chapter: 6
Okay, okay! Look, I'm sorry - first my beta went missing, then...well, then there was some other stuff (I'm a beta, too, y'know!) and now, well, now I'm just being a perfectionist and I just have to get the last little bits *right*. BUT - next week is half term and it is *definitely* going to be finished and posted during that time, whether I'm completely happy with it or not, that I can promise.

Thank you for your patience. And bless you for caring.


Reviewer: *Date: 2005-10-20
Reviewid: 134830Chapter: 6
Don't care 'how excited' you are. Could you please stop playing...
Please post the next chapter.

Reviewer: june luttrellDate: 2005-10-10
Reviewid: 134129Chapter: 6
Please hurry i like yooour story very much.

Reviewer: Lord JamesDate: 2005-09-06
Reviewid: 131833Chapter: 6
Thats a mean trick!!!! I was all excited cause you had another chapther out!!!!

Reviewer: PirateQueenDate: 2005-08-29
Reviewid: 131184Chapter: 5
HelenH, this story is wonderful on several counts. You make Remus very likeable and well-rounded (not least for having to fight how heavily he has fallen for Holly) and you bring out the poignancy of his isolated life beautifully. Also, the detail of the description of Exmoor makes the setting very real. I'm looking forward to finding out how you weave in the beast story, too. Many places in Britain seem to have 'beast' rumours and sightings these days (though Exmoor and Bodmin were the originals), so it adds an interesting topical note. Don't be put off by HBP - please write more!

Reviewer: Helen HDate: 2005-08-23
Reviewid: 130743Chapter: 6
Oh Eudora! I agree with you about the appearance of the Beast - this part of the story is still under 'review' - this chapter should have gone to my beta - it was not ready for posting just yet (hence the blank thanks at the end of the page!) I am mortified!
Soon, this chapter will get pulled and it will be re-posted in the next week with the necessary tweaks and improvements. Til then I'm gonna squirm in agony!


Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2005-08-23
Reviewid: 130704Chapter: 6
I so enjoyed your story, Helen. Sorry to see it end so soon.

It was sad when Remus had to perform the Memory Charm on Holly, but I loved how you finessed the ending. You gave hope to the incurable romantic in us all. Well done!

I liked the appearance of the beast, but thought that the flashback sequence seemed a bit too abrupt. Perhaps if Remus' memory came back a little at a time, instead of all at once. And I would have liked to see Remus work harder to dig up the history of the beast.

Overall, a very enjoyable story. I look forward to your next one.


Reviewer: beckDate: 2005-08-23
Reviewid: 130701Chapter: 6
I loved your story. Im ok with Tonks and Remus getting together but I really think Tonks is better matched with Kingsley. I think Remus and Tonks getting together makes Remus sound to mid life crisis for my taste. So i loved your story and i loved the way you ended it. If you write more to this story i will not bu upset that your are writting out of cannon =). And if you write about Tonks getting some "Remus Loven" ill be happy to read that also =)

Reviewer: Arrows' Biggest FanDate: 2005-08-19
Reviewid: 130407Chapter: 5
I can't remember enjoying a fanfic so much for ... well, a long time. Put simply, I love this story, and eagerly await more.

Great work.

Reviewer: CharyDate: 2005-08-18
Reviewid: 130341Chapter: 5
Hurray! A new chapter and a promise to continue! I’m very glad you aren’t going to let HBP put a stop to the story – sure it’s AU now, but what fanfic isn’t? The point is this story is wonderful regardless of whether it meshes perfectly with wherever canon happens to be at the time of writing.

Relief aside, onto this chapter. :) Holly is good for Remus – his pleasure in the car ride was very cute; all men are boys when it comes to speed – broom or car! It was also wonderful to see their relationship develop now that (most of) the secrets are out of the way and they can begin to talk more openly about their lives. Remus’s past though is always going to cover darker territory. He’s suffered such a lot. I thought this was a very moving line: >He gazed out of the window. “I’d never seen my dad cry before; I’ve never seen him cry since.”> What a terrible thing for a young boy to have to face – the knowledge that his father couldn’t protect him from everything bad in the world and that he was just as afraid by what was happening as Remus was.

Thankfully, you never allow things to get too grim. >A wizard without his wand was like a dog without its bark, as Sirius used to say.> Hee! What a perfect saying for him! Equally adorable was Remus’s blushes when Holly was so impressed by his spell, and his struggle not to perform more magic to impress her further.

Snape’s arrival was brilliant (his head in a fire would be enough to scare anyone!) and he was perfectly in character: >“And though it may be a Saturday, Lupin, I do have better things to do with my time than wait around for you to roll in. You may have plenty of leisure time at your disposal, but I have lessons to prepare and assignments to mark. You do remember the life of a Hogwarts professor, Lupin?”> Lol! Such a sarky git!

Horrible though he is, I was relieved to see Snape appears to be in the clear for setting up Remus, but that still leave us with a mystery. I’m hopeful Remus’s lost memories will hold the answer, but the bigger concern now is Holly. Remus gave his word to Dumbledore that he’d Obliviate her, which is worrying because he doesn’t strike me as the type of person who would go back on it. I’m keeping all my fingers and toes crossed he’ll either decide to throw caution to the wind and disobey Dumbledore’s order, or that you have another plan up your sleeve to avoid her memory being wiped. I hope I don’t have to wait too long to find out! :)

Reviewer: shypadfootlover57Date: 2005-08-17
Reviewid: 130155Chapter: 5
I think it's wonderful so far. It's amazing how you've shown how attached someone can get to someone else in such a short time when there is great need. I also think you've portraying everyones emotions.

Reviewer: Seriana RitaniDate: 2005-08-12
Reviewid: 129747Chapter: 5
As ever, an update of this piece makes my day. I am most certainly among the devoted fans that are sticking with it to the end. Holly is just too delightful, and there are still too many unanswered questions, for my interest to wane now. Thank you!

Reviewer: Silver Moon 19Date: 2005-08-12
Reviewid: 129695Chapter: 5
Excellent job with the story! I've really enjoyed reading it. Your characterization, particularly with Remus, is quite superb, and though "Miss Clements is your Mary Sue," she is not at all the dimwitted, obnoxious Mary Sue I have become used to in most fanfictions. Keep up the great work!

-Silver Moon 19

Reviewer: MarchpaneDate: 2005-08-11
Reviewid: 129587Chapter: 5
Thanks so much for continuing with this story! I was worried you might not, so I was very relieved to see your name on the updates list. I do hope it has a good ending...

Reviewer: Lord JamesDate: 2005-08-11
Reviewid: 129581Chapter: 5
I got a baaaaaaaaad feelin' bout' whats gonna happen next.

Reviewer: TinaDate: 2005-08-10
Reviewid: 129533Chapter: 5
How sad! I really enjoy this story. Please keep it up.

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2005-08-10
Reviewid: 129526Chapter: 5
I am very glad that you have decided to continue with this story. Ii would have beem most annoyed if you had left the mystery unresolved. This is a strong, eventful and intriguing chapter and I enjoyed reading it very much. The most intriguing thing about it is that everything *seems* rather resolved at the moment.

Your portrayal of Snape was very well done, and added greatly to the tone of the Chapter and it's general unpleasantness - a tone that of course builds up to what Remus presumably has to do. I also liked the 'manus scriptorum' spell. It was a nice, clever little touch that proved useful device.

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe story was great as well. I loved the sight of the young Remus and also the connection between the him and Holly on a childlike level. They both wanted to believe in magic. Don't we all!

Reviewer: sunsethillDate: 2005-08-09
Reviewid: 129476Chapter: 5
As asked, I'm checking in. ;-) This is a great continuance of the story, and I'm glad you're going to finish it. You have a nice, smooth, readable style and the story has several intriguing elements. Even if HBP hadn't paired Remus and Tonks, it probably would have given some info which would have made this AU anyway, so just enjoy putting together a great story. I'll enjoy reading it.

Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2005-08-09
Reviewid: 129450Chapter: 5
Intriguing little mystery you've got going here! So glad that you decided to continue. Loved your characterization of Snape in this and the interaction between Holly and Remus. I'm wondering who hit Remus over the head and got him out of there. Surely, the Death Eaters would have used a more deadly spell rather than risk his recovery from a simple knock on the head. And then there's the beast?!! Where does that fit into all this? I've got lots of theories (all probably very wrong.) But I'm fairly sure that Remus will not get to modify Holly's memory, eh?

Can't wait to see where you take this,

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2005-08-09
Reviewid: 129435Chapter: 5
Glad to see you are keeping this going. Snape was nicely in character. What I'd really like to know is what exactly happened and will happen to the idiots in the Werewolf Capture Unit. Hope you update soon.

Reviewer: Author by NightDate: 2005-08-09
Reviewid: 129391Chapter: 5
I like this so far! And don't even dare say "Mary Sue", fandom's gotten way too paranoid about them.

Reviewer: LoriDate: 2005-08-09
Reviewid: 129386Chapter: 5
I'm glad you're continuing this, even if it's AU. I really like Holly & I wish Remus could find some way to get around Obliviating her, but I'm not hopeful. Good job.

Reviewer: AzaeliaDate: 2005-08-09
Reviewid: 129380Chapter: 5
Hi! I have been waiting for this to be updated for quite a while!! I want you to know that I'll still be reading and enjoying this fic, despite whatever developments HBP has brought about. Good fic is still good fic, AU or not.

I hope you continue the story soon!

Reviewer: cazDate: 2005-06-23
Reviewid: 124970Chapter: 4
I love this! I can't wait to find out what's been going on. What happened with the potion? How did Remus get out of the cottage? How does Snape's owl to the Ministry fit in? I'm sure all will be revealed.

As a rule, I'm not fond of OFCs, but I really like Holly. She's believable and her reactions are completely plausible.

Remus's thoughts on Sirius and the other Marauders back in Chapter 2 (I think), were deliciously poignant. The coincidence (assuming it is a coincidence) of Snuffles' name is a brilliant idea.

Reviewer: CharyDate: 2005-06-23
Reviewid: 124967Chapter: 1
Sorry I'm late! I've been away so this was nice to come back to. Great action-packed chapter with some *very* bad baddies! Sent a real shiver up my spine, those to. Interesting name one of them had btw - Fenris - doesn't that have something to do with wolves and Norse mythology? Or maybe it's Dr Who. ;)

I'm sill really loving how decent you keep Remus. His guilt in this chapter was very in character, and what made it so sad was that he had so little to feel guilty for! Almost everything that happened wasn't his fault. Snape, however, seems to have an awful lot he should be feeling guilty about. Has a really stooped so low as to be lying now about Remus? Well, it's not really a surprise, but I'm still hoping you'll actually be exonerating him completely further down the line. :)

I was also pleased by Holly's reaction to everything that happened. She seems too level headed to go to pieces, even in a situation as mad as this. Remus’s reaction to the hug was very sweet. I really like the idea of them two together – I think a Muggle would be more understanding of his condition than a witch ever would be. So, lots of questions still unanswered. I'm glad this story is going to be longer than four chapters! :)

Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2005-06-15
Reviewid: 124044Chapter: 4
Great chapter! Nice action! You write some really creepy villians. Those ministry thugs were such scum. I'm glad Remus and Snuffles gave them what they deserved.

I also wonder about Tom and "Bella." Interesting choice of names. Just coincidence? Or is there some purpose to it?

You've spun an intriguing mystery here. I can't wait to find out what the deal is with the potion and the beast and Snape.

Looking forward to more,

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2005-06-13
Reviewid: 123906Chapter: 4
Action! Thank you so very much. I like how the monster catchers are more than monstrous themselves. Oh the shame for Thwartgood. How will he look in the eyes of the other pureblood rapist? Hope he and his coworker suffer something horrible.

Looking forward to just what went wrong with taking the potion. You have set up some interesting possibilities.

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-06-13
Reviewid: 123893Chapter: 4
Thank you so much for sending me a copy of this chapter. I tried to shrink the one on the Quill like hairy_hen said, but I couldn't figure out how to do it. I really enjoyed it. Those ministry thugs are awful - and your descriptions were so vivid. Wonderful action - loved it. I can't imagine how Remus is going to get out of this one, though. And Holly and Remus sure have a bit more talking to do, don't they? Her reaction to it all -the shock, dismay, but tempered by a thread of trust in this stranger, probably mostly because of Snuffles, was nice. And what a hug! My computer screen started to fog over until Remus came to his senses. I really do like your take on Remus and how you write his internal dialogue. He's a bit lighter than in many fics. Seems more well-adjusted. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2005-06-13
Reviewid: 123889Chapter: 2
I'm behind your other reviewers, since I've only just discovered this story and I'm only up to chapter 2. But I did want to stop and review to tell you how much I'm enjoying this.

You spin an engaging tale with wonderful characterizations. Your descriptions are so vivid and sprinkled in at just the right pace, all from Remus's perspective as he notices things.

I especially liked Remus's remembrance of Sirius: "He was surly, irascible….and impossible – never did as he was told. And a magnet for fleas. But I loved him. He was my best friend." Lovely!

Well done! Looking forward to the next chapters.


Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2005-06-10
Reviewid: 123677Chapter: 4
For some reason, I don't usually like Remus stories but this one is really good. I really like Holly as a character (for starters Holly is a good name). I like the way you worked in her fascination for the unusual at the beginning, which helps to explain how she can adapt so well in this chapter. And let's be fair, in context, she's adapted very well.

Snuffles is very cool too, and you're right that Lupin would only distantly remember the name Sirius gave Harry to use around people not in the know. The fight scene was very well done, as I think I said on the action thread.

I can't wait to find out what dastardly plot is underway, and especially how the Beast of Exmoor links into everything. I love mysteries that stretch over long periods of time, as this one does - with links going back a decade and a half - and the way you work in the Beast Exmoor folklore is very interesting. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what you make of all these plot-threads! I'm sure it's going to be good!

Reviewer: hairy_henDate: 2005-06-10
Reviewid: 123587Chapter: 4
Hi Helen--good to see you've updated again. (You were faster than me!) Aside from some kind of formatting problem--it went off the edge and I had to shrink the text size twice before it would fit on the screen--I really enjoyed this chapter. Those Ministry guys were genuine slime specimens. I'm sure things aren't really what they seem here, because I can't believe Snape would call in the Ministry on him, or mess up the potion for that matter. Far more likely it was a Death Eater sending a letter with Snape's name on it, then fouling up the potion and letting Remus out to get him arrested, as a covert way of reducing the Order's ranks. That would be my guess, anyway.

Excellent work with the action scene here. I loved how the aptly-named Snuffles started the fight when the scum weren't expecting it. Poor Holly, to have strange men break into her house and then threaten her as an innocent bystander, then start throwing magic around and wrecking her house. It's a wonder she didn't completely lose it, frankly. Her ignoring of Remus to focus on her dog was a good way to show that she was still in shock from what was happening, until she was ready to confront him about it. The dialogue was convincing, with his attempts to explain such outrageous events without upsetting her more, and her startled disbelief fading into a dazed acceptance. Now things are really heating up . . . and I'm very much looking forward to seeing what happens next.

A minor bone to pick, if I may--I've always thought that Apparition was something that could be done without a wand, as to my knowledge there are no references to anyone needing a wand to Apparate in the books, and it seems to be the same kind of "internal" magic as the Animagus transformation, which once completed needs only concentration to perform. At first glance that might seem to conflict with Remus being stuck in the first chapter, and needing to be found by Holly, but we know that Apparition is very difficult to perform, so it makes sense that he wouldn't be able to do it safely after his painful experience as a werewolf. But anyway--that's just my interpretation, and this is your story, so I'll be quiet now.

I must say, the reference to "Bella" being the favourite of "Tom" was an interesting choice of nomenclature. Nothing to do with the real Bella and Tom we see in OotP, is there? That would be strange . . .

A fine job, in all. Keep up the excellent work.

Reviewer: AnonDate: 2005-05-26
Reviewid: 122747Chapter: 3
I love this fan fic! The suspense is killing me, please write the next chaptor soon!

Reviewer: leilianaDate: 2005-04-07
Reviewid: 118912Chapter: 3
AHH!! You stop THERE??? Update soon!! Such a good story so far. I can't wait to see what happens.

Reviewer: CaitlinDate: 2005-04-07
Reviewid: 118887Chapter: 3
I'm a bit suspicious about Holly especially after this clifhanger ending, I can't imagine any woman taking a naked man she just happens to meet on the moors back to her house alone. And the bit with the razor as well, to know that he was clueless enough to need warning not to use it when any muggle man would know it was a womans and the risk of getting HIV/AIDS from it. The only question is, is it Death Eaters or the Ministry, or probably both in the form of MacNair.

I loved the description of Sirius and his reaction to the name Snuffles.

But the cat that can survive Avada Kedavra, that has me intrigued, another friendly animagus, maybe? I hope the next update comes soon and kills the suspense.

Reviewer: LoriDate: 2005-03-29
Reviewid: 118024Chapter: 3
Hmm... so is the intruder a Death Eater or from the Ministry's Werewolf Capture Unit? I'm enjoying the intriguing mystery you're setting up here.
Holly is an interesting character, and I think you've done a good job writing Remus. I'll be looking forward to more...

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2005-03-28
Reviewid: 117939Chapter: 3
Cliffhanger...hate those. Hope you update soon.

Your writing flows well, but this chapter (excluding the ending) was a bit slow. Looking forward to the action in the next chapter.

Reviewer: CharyDate: 2005-03-28
Reviewid: 117928Chapter: 3
I'm enjoying this story so much, I just wish I was better at explaining why! I don't know whether it's the beautiful description that pulls me in, but doesn't once make me stop and realise I'm reading, or whether it's the wonderful dialogue that flows so easily I can almost imagine I'm sitting there listening to the two of them talk, or whether it's just this fun, intelligent and intriguing relationship and story you're building chapter by chapter. Whatever it is, it works and I'm genuinely sorry when I realise I've reached the end. Not something that happens often.

I liked a lot of things about this chapter, but there were a couple of stand out lines for me: >>And as she leaned over him, her body so close to his, he breathed in her scent: she smelt of fresh air, gorse and heather, but also of tea and ketchup…and perhaps a little of dog…>> Dog! Lol! And how perfect that he even found that attractive! And >>At his age, his dad had been almost completely bald, barely a hair left on his head. A lop-sided smile creased his features. Well, there had to be some compensation for being a werewolf.>> Heh – that’s Remus down to a T.

I noticed something in one of the descriptions of Holly and later in the dream sequence that made me stop and think. I’ll be interested to see if it has any significance later. But what I’m most interested to see now, of course, is a resolution to that cliff-hanger – I hope you won’t keep us waiting too long!

Reviewer: Seriana RitaniDate: 2005-03-26
Reviewid: 117783Chapter: 3
I don't know quite how you manage to write with such vividness. Everything is so darn real. I actually gasped -- in the middle of the computer lab -- at Remus's dream, and demanded of myself, "What hunts a werewolf?"

I am hanging on your every word, and eagerly await the resolution of this cliffhanger. Good luck!

Reviewer: MirldaDate: 2005-03-26
Reviewid: 117740Chapter: 3
Aah! I wasn't expecting that! I'm guessing that this is where this gets interesting. Even more interesting, that is. Let me just express how much I love reading stories about Remus. Keep writing and updating!

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-03-26
Reviewid: 117726Chapter: 3
I've been waiting patiently for an update on this story. It's one of my favorites on the Quill. I always feel transported. Your descriptions are lush - LOVE the action sequences and the description of the beast, and the dialogue is enjoyable. Remus' internal dialogue rings true as well. I can't wait to see how Remus gets out of this mess. Great job!

Reviewer: GwenDate: 2005-03-25
Reviewid: 117712Chapter: 3
No, don't stop there! Don't leave me hanging!

Great chapter. I do hope that Remus and Holly get together.

Reviewer: Morag CamshronDate: 2005-03-13
Reviewid: 116351Chapter: 2
I’ve been meaning to review this for a bit, Helen. Remus’s description of The Beast is positively chilling. And the line where Remus talks about how Sirius — “surly, irascible… and impossible” Sirius — was his best friend, was simply beautiful. I’m looking forward to seeing more of this fic.

- Morag Camshron

Reviewer: GwenDate: 2005-03-11
Reviewid: 116185Chapter: 2
This is an excellent story. Glad I picked it up. I hope to read more of it soon!

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-03-11
Reviewid: 116147Chapter: 2
I discovered this story while searching for Remus fics -- today's his birthday.

You're off to a good start. It's only natural that Remus would think of Sirius when meeting a large, hairy, black dog named Snuffles. Your Holly is an interesting and intriguing OC -- perhaps we'll learn more about her later?

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: CharyDate: 2005-03-05
Reviewid: 115607Chapter: 2
Sorry I'm late - horrible computer problems! This was definitely worth the wait, though. Things are moving along at a nice pace with the plot - I hate it when everything's out in the open within the first few chapters - and I really like the fleshing out of the werewolf mythology you've revealed. I don't think the books go into a great deal of detail about his condition, so this was interesting, especially the dreams. I also like how Remus constantly refers to his other self as 'the wolf' as though he's a completely separate entity when he transforms, because I've always thought there must be *some* of him in there. But I can see that Remus would struggle against that notion, which makes it very well observed.

There were lots of funny and sweet lines, but I thought this was lovely: “Oh - yes!” he agreed, nodding. “I like dogs.” Padfoot. Such real emotion there in a so few words - nice.

My favourite part of the chapter, though, is Remus's growing attraction, which is wonderfully subtle. I'm really hoping his interest is returned, but I do think there seems to be more to Holly than meets the eye. I'm looking forward to finding out what. :)

Reviewer: AustenDate: 2005-02-22
Reviewid: 114634Chapter: 2
" Did Muggle women have hairy legs? Or maybe witches--?" Ha, that's so funny. I don't believe Holly is as innocent as she looks. She was way too interested in knowing if Remus ever had heard of the beast.

Reviewer: MinuialDate: 2005-02-16
Reviewid: 114061Chapter: 2
Very good second chapter! A reader never knows what to expect after just one chapter so it's always great to be sure to have a new good Remus story to read.
For some reason, the image of Remus with Holly's jacket barely covering his bits stuck with me for the whole chapter and it made the reading even more real, if you know what I mean.
I like how you add a lot of humor :
“You’ll have to stay out here ‘til I’ve got a bath ready for you, you dirty boy,” she said grimly, hands on hips.
She turned to look at Remus and suddenly stiffened and coloured. “Er-- if you-- er-- wait here, too?”
This one takes the cake. I could imagine Sirius rolling on the floor, wherever he is.

And this:
“He was not lovely,” he snorted, but a smile of fond recollection creased his features. “He was surly, irascible….and impossible – never did as he was told. And a magnet for fleas. But I loved him. He was my best friend,” he finished simply."
Should I thank you for the tears it brought?

Reviewer: Antonia EastDate: 2005-02-15
Reviewid: 113979Chapter: 2
Lovely story. I grew up near Exmoor, too, so of course I've heard about the beast.

So ... is Remus being let out by some sort of panther Animagus? If so, who? Would a dog person transform into a cat?

By the way the calling the dog Snuffles - I loved Holly's explanation. The difficulty in naming one's pet! They always do end up with the daft suggestion that's not meant to be taken seriously.

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2005-02-15
Reviewid: 113969Chapter: 2
Cute fic! Hope you update soon.

just another example of Ministry prejudice and persecution and that they would scapegoat him if they could.
-You have the Ministry nicely in character.

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-02-15
Reviewid: 113953Chapter: 2
Well I have been anxiously awaiting your next chapter, and am glad to say I was not disappointed. This story is so fun to read. I love your way with words and descriptions. The plot thickens - there seems to be lots of story here - nice! I, of course, thought the Beast of Exmoor referred to a werewolf - our werewolf. Now my curiosity is peaked. Hopefully you will have regular updates, and maybe longer chapters, but if it takes a bit more time to keep this story as well written as it is so far, I will be patient. I love how adorably ignorant Remus is about Muggles, and how he has to scramble to cover it up. Good job!

Reviewer: AustenDate: 2005-02-02
Reviewid: 112714Chapter: 1
Very intriguing start. I wonder how Remus ended up there. And I like Holly’s reaction to Remus. Finding a naked man on a empty moor is a bit scary for a woman alone. Her reaction was very convincing.

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-01-09
Reviewid: 110378Chapter: 1
I really had fun reading this. The description is very vivid. Remus is nicely in-character. I love Remus' sense of humor - witty but subtle, and the sense of humor throughout the entire story is the same - not too flashy but quite enjoyable. I am looking very forward to the next chapter. Thanks.

Reviewer: hairy_henDate: 2005-01-08
Reviewid: 110257Chapter: 1
I really enjoyed this. I think your writing style is excellent; it is very easy for the reader to visualize what is happening. Remus' horrified embarrassment at his predicament comes across very well, and his fumbling attempts to talk his way out of it are quite funny. Definitely a nice touch to call the dog Snuffles, even though he doesn't remember where he's heard that name before. Holly seemed almost determined to misinterpret his actions, which I thought was also funny. I like how he was able to make up his story based on his own past experiences, with the bit about James and the car (and using the name of James rather than Sirius, since that name would seem strange to a Muggle). Now he's got himself into a potentially hazardous situation, going home naked with an attractive Muggle woman, and without a wand to cover up any mistakes he might make. Should be highly interesting . . . definitely looking forward to reading the next chapter.

Female readers seem to be rather keen on the image of the naked Remus wandering the moor. That's kind of funny too--except that male readers would undoubtedly be labeled perverts if they expressed interest in a naked woman going around. Hmm . . .

Keep up the great work! I'm eager to find out what the title of the story means.

Reviewer: nightcrawler1089Date: 2005-01-06
Reviewid: 110018Chapter: 1
Very nice- I've read a story with the same idea, but this one is going in a different direction. I can't wait to see where this leads!

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-01-06
Reviewid: 109974Chapter: 1
Pretty good start. I'm not sure where you are going with this, but it sounds like it will be an interesting story to follow. Lol. I'm sorry, that's not very helpful, is it?

Reviewer: Silver PhoenixDate: 2005-01-06
Reviewid: 109925Chapter: 1
Lovely, lovely, lovely...I know I told you this already, but I thought I'd contribute to your rapidly-growing pile of reviews. ^_^

Can't wait 'til chapter 2!


Reviewer: beckDate: 2005-01-05
Reviewid: 109879Chapter: 1
that is a great start to a story =) I bet James and Sirius where laughing there butt's off up in heaven watching I cant wait to find out what happens =)

Reviewer: MinuialDate: 2005-01-05
Reviewid: 109850Chapter: 1
Now this is good stuff. I'm forever thankful for the image of a completely naked Remus roaming around a moor *grin*
"Remus brushed off the dead leaves and clumps of soil that clung to his bare skin and started to pick his way gingerly towards the moor."
I like that line a lot. There's something sexy about it for me but then maybe it's just my Remus obsession and sick mind.
"Or do you often wander around the moor, naked, hoping to surprise women innocently taking their dogs for walks?! You – you pervert!”"
There I've snorted out loud. Hope I didn't disturb the neighbours.
I like Holly a lot and naming the dog 'Snuffles' is a nice touch. It's a bit like Sirius is still there in a way. I can't wait to read more!

Reviewer: CharyDate: 2005-01-04
Reviewid: 109770Chapter: 1
Well that was a stroke of luck - I saw your question in the submission thread and thought I'd keep an eye out for your fic appearing, and then happened to spot your name change tonight! I might well have missed reading this otherwise and that would have been a *great* shame. This was really well done - I loved all the beautifully detailed description you had dotted throughout. Apart from nearly being able to smell the pine needles in the air, I also thought this was particularly nice: >>His legs felt stiff and unsteady, the bones and muscles still adjusting to their reconfiguration in his human form.>> Ow, painful - I was wincing along with him.

I had a definite flash of the zoo scene in American Werewolf in London when Remus woke up and then went stumbling off over the moors naked. After that, I was really hoping the pub he mentioned would be the Slaughtered Lamb! ;)

Remus's characterization seemed bang-on and I especially liked the wry humour you gave him - he isn't the sort to go to pieces in unexpected situations. Holly was also intriguing; I liked her and Snuffles the second - aww. I'm very glad he got an invite home for tea - I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next!

Reviewer: tigermouseDate: 2005-01-04
Reviewid: 109742Chapter: 1
This looks very promising. It's been quite a while since I read a new story with perfect grammar and spelling, realistic characterization and a very interesting plot! Keep up the good work!

[QUOTE]His stomach gave a loud growl and he became conscious of the hollow cavity in his belly.  A good sign, he thought wryly.[/QUOTE]

Very Remus.

On a minor note, I find Remus' complete ignorance about Muggles a little bit unbelievable, as he is supposed to be a half-blood, and strikes me as someone who'd study the Muggle world attentively.


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