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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 40

Reviewer: EmilyDate: 2005-08-18
Reviewid: 130252Chapter: 9

Reviewer: EmilyDate: 2005-08-14
Reviewid: 129944Chapter: 9
Extremely well written. Very sweet, but not at all overdone. Can't wait to read more of your fics!

Reviewer: igo2hogwartsDate: 2005-08-07
Reviewid: 129233Chapter: 9
Fabulous story. So sweet... I must admit I'm usually not a fan of Maurauder fics but this one is just fantastic. Excellent work!

Reviewer: monicaDate: 2005-08-04
Reviewid: 128838Chapter: 9
really nice story. I am rubbish at reviewing but here it goes...

I really like the way how james kind of comforted Lily and how the hate from petunia was described. THe whole story was really touching... are you going to write another one? YOu should... is it going to be about Remus and Katie? I think someone with that much talent should write about Cho and Cedric.

Keep up the great work!!!

Reviewer: JulianDate: 2005-08-04
Reviewid: 128817Chapter: 9
Excellent story, very funny at parts, but the impact of death never quite sunk in as it was mixed with romance. A worthy read, nonetheless. Entertaining, to say the least.

Reviewer: shypadfootlover57Date: 2005-07-29
Reviewid: 128193Chapter: 9
i thought it was lovely. i think you should write more about it though.

Reviewer: Miss GypsyDate: 2005-07-27
Reviewid: 128026Chapter: 9
Oh, that was wonderful. I'm usually more of a today's-generation-of-Hogwarts-kids fanfiction person, but I really really enjoyed this Maurader fic.

Lily and James are incredibly sweet and realistic. Thank you for a great story.

~Miss Gypsy

Reviewer: YaelDate: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127152Chapter: 6
I realy loved it, please put on the next chapters allready,
love Yael

Reviewer: KristineDate: 2005-06-20
Reviewid: 124597Chapter: 6
Great chapter! Keep up the good work!

Reviewer: jennyDate: 2005-06-13
Reviewid: 123942Chapter: 6
i loved it, please write more.

Reviewer: hamsiniDate: 2005-06-12
Reviewid: 123803Chapter: 6
I love this story!!!!!!! Keep it up1!!!!!!!

Reviewer: Teen Drama QueenDate: 2005-05-03
Reviewid: 121290Chapter: 4
Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in so long...I will soon, I promise!
Thanks for the Brit-pick, Kelley! And thanks for the reviews. They made my day!

Reviewer: CharlotteDate: 2005-02-24
Reviewid: 114832Chapter: 4
I do too. *glowering*

Reviewer: OliviaDate: 2005-02-17
Reviewid: 114163Chapter: 4
Hmm that was especially Evil of you to end that way. The chapter was a little short and I was a little caught off guard about Lily's discovery of Remus' condition. I think it could have been worked in a little more subtly, but that' entirely your choice. Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter.

Reviewer: VioletDate: 2005-02-17
Reviewid: 114132Chapter: 4
I smiled the entire time I read this charming piece. The story moves very fast and the events are credible. Thank you for not having Lily friends with Snape. Your story has a sweetness about it I haven't seen in many other Journal stories--including my own. I look forward to reading more.

Reviewer: NishaDate: 2005-02-17
Reviewid: 114126Chapter: 1
OMG, i fell out of my chair laughing when I read that part "Loony, Pigtail, Loudfoot, and Wrong would be more appropriate."

Very funny!!

Reviewer: RainbowDate: 2005-02-17
Reviewid: 114094Chapter: 4
I know, I hate cliffhangers too. Grrrrr . . .

Reviewer: KelleypenDate: 2005-02-17
Reviewid: 114089Chapter: 4
Brilliant. And nice foreshadowing about the Evans. Wouldn't James say fancy rather than crush?

Reviewer: PhilippaDate: 2005-02-05
Reviewid: 113028Chapter: 3
I like it! I wasn't too sure about the changing POVs at first, but it could work well, especially with more scenes in third person in between. I like the way you've portrayed James, so he isn't really arrogant and he's already started to change in Sixth year - I can't stand fics where he goes from being really big headed to this wonderful person in like two days. Keep going!

Reviewer: RavenDate: 2005-02-01
Reviewid: 112655Chapter: 3
Your style isn't consistent. Keep it in Lily first person, keep it in James first person, keep it in third person. Keep it in any one thing. Not all of them!

Reviewer: GinDate: 2005-01-31
Reviewid: 112602Chapter: 3
ooh, I like it. Continue!

Reviewer: Yael R.Date: 2005-01-30
Reviewid: 112509Chapter: 2
Its great,I cant wait for the next chapter

Reviewer: toastDate: 2005-01-30
Reviewid: 112399Chapter: 3
awesome!! i love it!! cnat wait for the next chapter!

Reviewer: SejalDate: 2005-01-28
Reviewid: 112314Chapter: 3
Is there more to this cause I want there to be.I wanna no wutt happens next.

Reviewer: ElshaDate: 2005-01-27
Reviewid: 112250Chapter: 3
There are quite a few James and Lily stories out there, but I like your approach to this one - instead of massive drama and angst, it's a more low-key approach to their relationship, which works for me. Fireworks are all very well, but they must have been able to hold a conversation without yelling or snogging.

I have to agree with other reviewers that the third chapter works better than the first two - it's not that the diary format is a problem; to me, it just seems like you're telling us a lot of information we already know in the first two chapters. While James and Lily would muse on some of those things (the Prank, their antagonism) it feels a little too much like an information dump. Mind you, I've never kept a diary, so I don't know how much people really do write down about their peers.

I like your characterisations; James is arrogant but capable of being flustered; Lily is brisk, but not an ice queen. They're two very...well, normal teenagers, which at this stage is exactly what they should be. I'll definitely be interested to read more.

Reviewer: Angel StreetDate: 2005-01-27
Reviewid: 112248Chapter: 3
The first chappies weren't as good as the 3rd. or second. or basically the one i'm commenting on. Anyways, I recommend you keep writing in 3rd person, I find it easier to keep up with things.
I like your depictions of all the main characters.
I like where this is going.
How about an update? hmm?

Reviewer: catDate: 2005-01-25
Reviewid: 112114Chapter: 3
write more

Reviewer: HayleyDate: 2005-01-25
Reviewid: 112103Chapter: 3
Really awesome story so far,I'm really enjoying it.
Can't wait for the next update....

Reviewer: KelleyDate: 2005-01-25
Reviewid: 112047Chapter: 3
yeah----James and Lily are being cordial, now let the chemistry brew! Nice fic.

Reviewer: Olivia BriteDate: 2005-01-25
Reviewid: 112016Chapter: 3
I've been keeping up with your story since it's somewhat close to what I've written. Just a word of advice, you should check out my story- chapter seven so that you don't write anything close to what my ball was. I don't want you to get into any trouble or anything because the SugarQuill is very strict on plagiarism.

Also, I like your dialogue but there's something missing. It's very empty around the lines where each character speaks. It's almost as if you're afraid to say "..." he said, "..." he stated. Which I can absolutely understand. Sometimes it's important to show the readers what the characters are doing while they are talking or even expressions that pass their face. Just stuff like that can be crucial to who the characters are.

I absolutely love the entire diary approach. I was concerned about how you would tell the story just through the diary, but I think you solved that problem by taking Lily and James out of the diary. Maybe you should add some entries where each character reflects on their time with the other. That would just add to character development.

So far so good. I'm really coming to like and enjoy your story. I am a bit set back that more and more people are writing about James and Lily as kids, but hey I don't have copyrights to them so I can't be selfish. *laughs* Keep up the good work!


Reviewer: Yael ResnickDate: 2005-01-23
Reviewid: 111891Chapter: 1
Dear Teen Drama Queen!
I realy enjoyed your story and especialy the story you gave me to read in class (I
realy think you should put it in).
plaese continue this story, and dont leave me in suspence!
your friend Yael

Reviewer: Lilly Evans PotterDate: 2005-01-17
Reviewid: 111197Chapter: 1
Great start! I can't wait till the next chapter

Reviewer: toastDate: 2005-01-17
Reviewid: 111138Chapter: 1
wow thats good. its perfect! its awesome! great job!

Reviewer: readerDate: 2005-01-16
Reviewid: 111053Chapter: 1
nice - but nothing new

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-01-13
Reviewid: 110758Chapter: 1
This looks like it will be a funny and interesting look at the seventh year. Lily's voice is funny and individual, although she's not as reflective as I thought she'd be, but perhaps that will change as time goes on.

Brit Pick: Lily would not write or say 'period'. Even now, we'll only say it occasionally over here, but it definitely wouldn't have been in a British girl's vocabulary in the 1970s.

Favourite line: 'Loony, Pigtail, Loudfoot, and Wrong would be more appropriate.' I can't say how much I love this line. It's just perfect! Classic! XD


Reviewer: KelleypenDate: 2005-01-12
Reviewid: 110711Chapter: 1
I liked this a lot. I wonder about all those death eaters being the same age as the Marauders. JKR said that Nott was quite a bit older than Theodore, for example. Lily and James were married rather young, but I don't think that means the the parents of most of Harry's contemporaries would have gone to school with Lily and James. Other than that, keep it up. I love Marauder stories.

Reviewer: WapuDate: 2005-01-12
Reviewid: 110669Chapter: 1
Soooooo good!!!

Keep writing!!
Next chapter please!!!

Reviewer: Olivia BriteDate: 2005-01-12
Reviewid: 110659Chapter: 1
Hey, I checked out your story by a fluke chance and it's not too bad. The jump from sixth to seventh year was a bit abrupt, at least to me. However, I do like to see others write about Lily and James. I'm writing a story on here too about how they got together. It helps me come up with ideas. I have a question though, and I hope you can answer it through email. Are you going to portray the entire story through diary logs? I wish I had more to say or even suggest, if I come up with anything more I'm sure I'll write it. Hope you post more story too, keep it up!


Reviewer: pheonix _tearsDate: 2005-01-12
Reviewid: 110634Chapter: 1
Hey this was good! I hope that you have more to come soon!
I hope that you go more into Lily's emotions, because I really think that's what makes her so special - her appreciation of Wizardry, whilst still valuing her Muggle connection. A lot of Harry's empathy comes from her, even though he's lived most of his life without her. A great start!

Reviewer: jayDate: 2005-01-12
Reviewid: 110588Chapter: 1
i like it much. it seems to bring lily's personality and views into reality -- i would have you write more about her diary. i really got enthralled with her semi-budding appreciation for james. i want more. :\

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