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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Shadows of Self
Review(s): 29

Reviewer: Allie SmithDate: 2005-09-22
Reviewid: 133020Chapter: 1
Holy plot twist! What a good story!

Reviewer: JenDate: 2005-09-06
Reviewid: 131843Chapter: 1
Whoa! I was NOT expecting that! But I like it. I always wondered what had happened to poor Olive. Only now, I won't think of her as poor Olive. Great job!

Reviewer: AstridDate: 2005-08-19
Reviewid: 130397Chapter: 1
This is my second time reading, and I'd forgotten about the plot twist! Totally bril, I love it.

The only way to not think about my part in a murder was to make sure nobody else did, either.

I like the motivation behind Umbridge's evil doings.

Reviewer: Author by NightDate: 2005-07-12
Reviewid: 126989Chapter: 1
Jennifer, I tried replying to your review on the forums under the Author Announcements thread, but wasn't sure if you saw it; I hope ou see it here.

As I said on the forum:

Jennifer,

First, thanks for reviewing! I like how even though you had criticsms (with very good points), you presented it well. I'm sorry for not responding more personally, but I couldn't, and not everyone checks review boards.

Some of your points:


QUOTE
I'm not sure what the moral of your story was.


There really wasn't supposed to be a moral, per se; it was a "what if" story, written out of pure irony.



QUOTE
I hope you aren't saying that people who are stupid prats as children are destined to become like Umbridge.


Oh, definitely not! In this case, she did become Umbridge, but I know a lot of people who weren't always nice as kids, and turned out to be wonderful. Besides, it was more the trauma of what happened that helped make Olive Umbridge. (Not that it was necessarily the only reason).


QUOTE
Also, you seem to want to blame Myrtle's death on Olive. This seems harsh. Being killed by a basilisk is not a likely consequence of teasing.


Again, definitely not - Olive had no way of knowing what was going to happen, both in canon and my fic. But she blamed herself, and others blamed her because that's what kids do. Look at Harry and Cedric.


QUOTE
I would have liked a slightly more sympathetic Olive, because I feel slightly sorry for her in canon.


I see your point there, and I suppose I could have made her a bit more sympathetic. However, remember, she was also being harassed by Myrtle - so while she felt bad, it started to get to the point where she was also pretty upset.

Thanks for the review - both the crit and the compliments (which I didn't post so it wouldn't look like I was showing off! ) I hope that (a) you see this, and ( if you do, this answers some of your questions.

Reviewer: JenniferDate: 2005-06-20
Reviewid: 124602Chapter: 1
I'm not sure what the moral of your story was. You took what we knew about Olive Hornby, which is that she used to tease Myrtle, and then made her into Dolores Umbridge - who we know to be a sadistic torturer and a nasty little wench.

I hope you aren't saying that people who are stupid prats as children are destined to become like Umbridge. That would be blooming scary! I know a few bullies who have grown up into better people.

Also, you seem to want to blame Myrtle's death on Olive. This seems harsh. Being killed by a basilisk is not a likely consequence of teasing. It's like saying that if I get into a fight with a friend, make him late for work and he gets killed in an accident, that I'm to blame. Sure, the fight may have been my fault, and I may have been being an idiot - but I think it is needlessly cruel to blame me for his death.

Of course, this is just one gal's opinion. I would have liked a slightly more sympathetic Olive, because I feel slightly sorry for her in canon. But, you know, this isn't meant to be a flame. You are a talented writer and I actually really liked some of your dialogue. Especially the 'I was only twelve' line.

Reviewer: Readre2Date: 2005-05-30
Reviewid: 123051Chapter: 1
Good

Reviewer: SwatkatDate: 2005-03-15
Reviewid: 116612Chapter: 1
Oh, that was so fabulous! I loved the way you fit this bit into canon, and gave Dolores a backstory!

Reviewer: JetamorsDate: 2005-02-02
Reviewid: 112757Chapter: 1
Ooh, clever. And really believable, too.

Reviewer: Emma W.Date: 2005-02-02
Reviewid: 112751Chapter: 1
Wow! LOVE the twist at the end...rock on!

Reviewer: AlineDate: 2005-02-02
Reviewid: 112692Chapter: 1
Amy!

Quite interesting fic! I was already enjoying it a lot, getting to know what really happeend with Myrtle, when you told us who Olive had turned into. That was such a surprise! How great your idea! It fits perfeclty, and it made me hate Dolores Umbridge even more. Even though you made Olive go trough a lot of suffering after Myrtle's death, I never felt sorry for her, she got what she deserved. I'm glad she didn't manage to get what she wanted with her new identity (as seen in the book).
Congratulations, your story matched perfectly the spirit of the book!

Cheers, Aline.

Reviewer: RavenDate: 2005-01-30
Reviewid: 112495Chapter: 1
This was amazing. Her guilt, and Myrtles revenge. You are a breath taking author, and I'm not just saying that. You really are. The ending!

The beginning was a bit slow, and boring though. I can't give you a suggestion, though, I'm afraid. I'm not really a writer. Sorry.

Reviewer: BlankDate: 2005-01-23
Reviewid: 111828Chapter: 1
*gasp* I love the ending to this story! It's really quite unexpected but could make sense all the same. I love it!

Reviewer: July 31Date: 2005-01-19
Reviewid: 111500Chapter: 1
This is really, REALLY good! I never expected the ending, but it totally made sense and was an awesome idea! I love your other writing too---good job!!

Reviewer: Jolene_xxDate: 2005-01-19
Reviewid: 111475Chapter: 1
Interesting! Very interesting! I like this, it seems like it could be a real possibility.

Reviewer: MaryannDate: 2005-01-17
Reviewid: 111238Chapter: 1
SO great! That was the best ending I've read in a long time. Great job!

Reviewer: spriteDate: 2005-01-17
Reviewid: 111141Chapter: 1
Ooo, creepy ending! It's an interesting twist. I like it.

Reviewer: DelleveDate: 2005-01-16
Reviewid: 111115Chapter: 1
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT YOU HAD A NEW FIC UP???

Ahem.

That was ... well, just ... wow. I'm still in shock. That was definitely one of the best plot twists I've read in a looooong while.

Excellent job.

Reviewer: MincotDate: 2005-01-16
Reviewid: 111097Chapter: 1
WOW. That was brilliant--and utterly well put together. Ummm...you *are* going to submit this to Godric's Hat Genfic, yes????? Please???????? http://www.ravenclaw.us/efiction/index.php We're invitation-only---consider this your invitation.

Reviewer: After the RainDate: 2005-01-16
Reviewid: 111078Chapter: 1
:: jaw drops :: Oh my, *what* a twist. I guessed who she was about two lines before she gave her new name, just because the characterization is so dead-on -- especially the utter, unshakable sense that she's justified in everything she does. Yow.

Reviewer: ChrisDate: 2005-01-16
Reviewid: 111032Chapter: 1
Excellent story!! Love the twist at the end! Your characterizations here, even in the more minor characters, are really good and you did a wonderful job of capturing the essence of bullies.

Nicely done!

Reviewer: CarmenDate: 2005-01-15
Reviewid: 111021Chapter: 1
Woah -- this is really good, and really sppoky! I love it though -- even though you've made two completely separate characters the same person, you did it really well, so that it actually works. Bravo@

Reviewer: SarahDate: 2005-01-15
Reviewid: 111006Chapter: 1
This a very different take on what happened at the Chamber! I liked hearing this story from a completely different point of view... and the twist was great.

A very unique story... I enjoyed this!

Reviewer: Mystic (Claire)Date: 2005-01-15
Reviewid: 110991Chapter: 1
Excellent. You rehashed a passing-by statement into a wonderful first person limited story, and made it absolutely believable. When you mentioned 'Delores Umbridge', my insides crawled with jealousness, wishing I could come up with something that brilliant. Needless to say, you seem to have mastered the one pov storyline- I must say that sometimes it bores me, but I've always liked how you've done it. I can't wait for more to come!

Reviewer: BeckyDate: 2005-01-15
Reviewid: 110948Chapter: 1
I'm so glad this is finally up. It's one of my favorite fics of all the fandom, no joke. You depicted all the psychological effects so well and the end, of course, is just amazing. My favorite part is" "I was twelve!" and then, "So was I." Actually, no, my favorite part is when you find out who Olive becomes. Really, this should get you Professor's Bookshelf.

Reviewer: PatriciaDate: 2005-01-14
Reviewid: 110921Chapter: 1
Oh very good!

Reviewer: Miss GypsyDate: 2005-01-14
Reviewid: 110919Chapter: 1
Oh my goodness. That's a brilliant idea.

It seems so possible... wow, excellent job. Wonderful shock factor at the end, and it *almost* makes me feel sorry for Olive. Almost.

Reviewer: CharlotteDate: 2005-01-14
Reviewid: 110911Chapter: 1
Tee-hee! Great ending, never made that connection, hehe. Nice twist;)

Reviewer: MercuryBlueDate: 2005-01-14
Reviewid: 110876Chapter: 1
*snickers* I love it. Olive = Umbridge. Genius. Doubt she ever stopped by Myrtle's bathroom in OotP.

Reviewer: AlkariDate: 2005-01-14
Reviewid: 110841Chapter: 1
Deceptively simple - and a very clever, twisted ending. You have caught the cruelty of children superbly, and picked up on how sometimes there is a lasting sense of grievance leading to the need for revenge.

"The only way to not think about my part in a murder was to make sure nobody else did, either." Oh yes, indeed.

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