The Sugar Quill
Sugar Quill Community
- S.P.E.W (SQ History)

Fan Fiction and Writing
- Ask Madam Pince
(Story Submissions)
- Floo Network (Links)


Administrative Links

Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: When Shadows Creep
Review(s): 18

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-10-06
Reviewid: 133835Chapter: 1
Quite good.

Reviewer: BrittneyDate: 2005-07-09
Reviewid: 126654Chapter: 1
I've *finally* gotten around to reading this fic. Oh, how very sad! I loved it, because I always love reading about the three Gryffindor boys we never hear about. I particularly liked the bit about Dean, but I may be a bit biased. :) I love the foreshadowing you gave Neville ("Herbology he might be alright at- it was only gardening and he’d been helping Gran with that for as long as he could remember..."; "Would they have to learn to combat the Cruciatus Curse?") I can't tell you how glad it always makes me to see tiny bits of foreshadowing canon like that in fics I read.

Good job, Brie!


Reviewer: QemDate: 2005-06-17
Reviewid: 124321Chapter: 1
Wow, an excellent portrayal of the different families all of the griffindor boys came from, worries and fears and homesickness.

Reviewer: prplhez8Date: 2005-03-30
Reviewid: 118187Chapter: 1
Brielle - What an absolutely intersting pov from the three gryffindors that we know so little about. It was heartbreaking and tender at times and so boyish and child like at other times. I truly enjoyed it!!


Reviewer: JK AshavahDate: 2005-02-09
Reviewid: 113278Chapter: 1
I love Seamus's techniques to go to sleep.

Oh, poor Seamus! Very skilful use of a few words to convey your message when talking about his parents. :-(

And poor Neville, so worried about DADA and with such haunting reason!

Oh, what a sad little piece! And what a good idea to link the three boys by having them awakened by their own sad memories.

Very nice, Brie.



Reviewer: ValaDate: 2005-01-25
Reviewid: 112100Chapter: 1
I love the different twist you gave to the first night. I also like that you were able to take three minor characters and tell a story that makes them more three dimensional. Good work!


Reviewer: ValaDate: 2005-01-25
Reviewid: 112098Chapter: 1
I love the different twist you gave to the first night. I also like that you were able to take three minor characters and tell a story that makes them more three dimensional. Good work!


Reviewer: Jo WickaninnishDate: 2005-01-22
Reviewid: 111744Chapter: 1
Oh my goodness, what a different sort of look at the first night at Hogwarts.

I really enjoyed your characterizations of the three boys. It seemed quite accurate. I had no trouble believing any of the memories you gave them. You also treated Seamus' family very good- you took on a tricky topic tactfully and with respect.

Reviewer: Frankie BDate: 2005-01-17
Reviewid: 111239Chapter: 1
Oh, Brielle, this was wonderful. Such a great look into each of their home lives without actually coming out and saying "this is how it was."

I love the outline of this story, how each of them are lying in bed letting their thoughts and feelings run rampant. It's very realistic and amazingly natural. The story you have given each of them was well told and brilliantly detailed, without giving too much away. Are you planning on continuing this?

Wonderful, wonderful job, First Mate. And Congrats on getting onto the boards! I'll have a Gred and Forge (Nutella free) waiting for you in the library later. :D

Reviewer: EmmaDate: 2005-01-17
Reviewid: 111234Chapter: 1
This is a very sad but very good story. You're very talented Brielle and I hope you write many more stories in the future. I'll be waiting for them.

Reviewer: Kit the BraveDate: 2005-01-15
Reviewid: 111018Chapter: 1
Wow, Brielle, everyone else has mentioned so many things that make this great, so I'll just add a few more:

It was so sad, but so realistic, for Seamus to think that his parents' fighting was his do blame themselves for things that are completely out of their control.
I can't decide which is funnier, the band name "Hexes and Harpies" or the thought of Neville's grandmother coming out with it in the middle of a tirade. (Maybe she's a fan...:-))
I really like the way you make each of the boys have similar feelings, but for very different reasons based on their different backgrounds.

What a great look at the characters.

Reviewer: NunduDate: 2005-01-14
Reviewid: 110922Chapter: 1
This is so sweet! I deal with homesick children on a regular basis and you have hit it spot on. Great job.

Reviewer: DelleveDate: 2005-01-14
Reviewid: 110920Chapter: 1
That was really nice! I liked the mood throughout -- nervous and lonely -- and every one of the boys was spot-on. I loved how you showed Neville's insecurities especially and also Seamus' throughts about his parents and his dad's abuse.

Excellent job. I hope to read more of your fics soon!

Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-01-14
Reviewid: 110900Chapter: 1

This was really wonderful. These are three characters that I love, so I'm not sure why I never imagined their first nights, but I didn't -- I'm just glad that you did. It's easy to forget that these boys have just as many thoughts and fears as Harry does; we simply aren't privy to them, the way we are his. Eleven really isn't very old, is it -- and it's easy to forget that, too. Thanks for a great read.


Reviewer: redlightspecialDate: 2005-01-14
Reviewid: 110893Chapter: 1
You score some big time points just on uniqueness (if that is even a word) factor alone. I found it interesting to see your take on how Ron & Harry's dorm mates might be affected by leaving to go Hogwarts. With Ron it wasn't a big deal, five brothers had already gone to school. With Harry, he was just pleased to be anywhere the Dursley's weren't, as well as doing something that his parents did. Seeing how it affected these three reminded me that they are only eleven, and the transition must be an emotionally difficult one. Something that is easy to forget when you see how comparitively easy the transition is for Harry and Ron.

Nice job.

Reviewer: JulesDate: 2005-01-14
Reviewid: 110891Chapter: 1
Brielle, this is one of the most original ideas I've seen for fanfiction! I love it!

Lines that really struck me:

<<That film had terrified him because Mam had told him that vampires actually existed, but he had had to put on a brave front when he saw it with some of the other boys from school.>> Hee! That's something I hadn't thought about for wizards who would have played with Muggle children growing up. If he had acted scared in the movie, his schoolmates would have teased him.

<<Seamus rolled over again and hid his head under his pillows. Maybe “maybe” wasn’t good enough.>> You make Seamus so real to me, that I think I'll have a hard time not thinking of this when I read HBP or reread the others. What a sad reality for your Seamus!

<<Already on the train two red-headed older boys had handed him what turned out to be a Hiccup Sweet and somebody, probably the same boys, had put Belch Powder in his jam sandwiches.>> Oh, God, I'm laughing...poor Neville! He's such easy pray for Fred and George!

<<the circus in his stomach>> I like the metaphor!

<<Would they have to – no, surely not, but would they? Would they have to learn to combat the Cruciatus Curse?>> Oh! :wub: and hugs to Neville!!

<<then shut his eyes and tried to return to his normal, unbreakable slumber.>> It always makes me sad when someone who normally can sleep...can't. Sigh...

<<But all of a sudden he was feeling very small and very lost, and more than anything he wanted to be at home, with Stacey and Deirdre pulling him out of bed and Mum moaning about the noise. He wanted to be waking up in his tiny bedroom with his sketches on the wall and his huge West Ham poster on the ceiling above.>> I love the back story you've created for Dean...his sisters and parents. No wonder the poor boy is homesick!

Brielle, you did a marvelous job! This is one of the best pieces I've come across in a while! I love the way you set up the contrast between the three boys, by paralleling their memories. I hope you'll continue with more of what they think of their new adventure at Hogwarts. :o)

Thanks for a great read!


Reviewer: Author by NightDate: 2005-01-14
Reviewid: 110860Chapter: 1
Wow... very deep look into how they must have felt! I thought Neville's observance that his Dad had had a NEWT in Transfiguration was well-fitting.

Reviewer: story645Date: 2005-01-14
Reviewid: 110851Chapter: 1
I love the juxtoposition of teh boys three memories. The fight Seamus overhears sounds realistic, that he's guilty and worried rings true, and I can't wait to read your exploration of it. You have a great setup, and you start off on a great track of dealing with abuse realistically. I love Neville's anxiety over his classes and his magical ability. I just want to tell him how wonderful he is.Dean's homesickness is cute, and the little scene with his sisters is a great counterpoint to the more depressing aspects of the fic. I want to give them all hugs and tell them it'll be all right. Really cool so far.

The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For questions, please send us an Owl!

-- Powered by SQ3 : Coded by David : Design by James --