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Review(s): 139
| Reviewer: Gliffy | Date: 2007-07-10 |
| Reviewid: 148508 | Chapter: 13 |
When I started reading this I didn't expect much of it and just skimmed through the first bit but was pleasantly surprised. The story is so wonderful and everyone seems to be in character. I was rather afraid you would mess it up but you made the story better than I could have hoped.
This is great. |
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| Reviewer: Maria M. | Date: 2005-10-07 |
| Reviewid: 133927 | Chapter: 12 |
[“Really? So what do you win?”
Harry contemplated this for a minute and then propped himself on an elbow next to her. “You.”
“Me?”
“Yes,” he confirmed. “I win. You’re mine for the rest of my life.” ]
Awww!
I also like [It is not love that sustains a marriage, but marriage that sustains the love between you.] Sounds like a good thing to remember. |
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| Reviewer: Maria M. | Date: 2005-10-07 |
| Reviewid: 133923 | Chapter: 8 |
| Aw! I really like what Mr. Weasley tells Harry in this chapter (The Ultimate Domestic Test). Somehow since I've been in college I've really really been noticing more the complementarity of men and women... I thank God every day for men... I'm liking the story. |
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| Reviewer: Debora | Date: 2005-08-25 |
| Reviewid: 130852 | Chapter: 13 |
| Wonderful, romantic, fitting, INCREDIBLY FUNNY, so much in-character...amazing work! :) Congrats! ;) |
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| Reviewer: Jess | Date: 2005-08-21 |
| Reviewid: 130504 | Chapter: 13 |
| Hey!!! Cute... but i think you need a flash forward thing with a scene with Harry, Ginny and a baby. |
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| Reviewer: Syed Haque | Date: 2005-08-18 |
| Reviewid: 130324 | Chapter: 13 |
I enjoyed your story very much. However, there is some room for improvement. The interaction and dialouge between the characters, especially in the first couple of chapters, doesn't seem right. Harry doesn't call Remus "Uncle", for instance. Some of the dialouge seems forced in some places. Also, the fight with Malfoy comes about very suddenly without much explanation.
Other than that, great job! I loved the arranged marriage idea, plus the majority of the story seemed to fit. I especially loved the pranks that were played. |
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| Reviewer: ACcent | Date: 2005-07-09 |
| Reviewid: 126619 | Chapter: 13 |
| Glad to see youfixed the error.I am a bit sad this is over but it was good.I hope you write sequels! |
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| Reviewer: BlazingWolf | Date: 2005-07-07 |
| Reviewid: 126409 | Chapter: 13 |
What about the rings??? You never said about the rings!?!!!???!! It's been such a brilliant story! I'm just a bit disapionted with the ending.........it was good, just.......well.....it was a bit of a downer. Your a great writer and it's a wonderful story I'm just picky. I was really looking forward to the rings Harry said a few things but he also implied that there was more. I WAS cute and romantic but it seems as if there should be more, like an after prologue...and explanation a "what happened next". Don't get me wrong, I loved your story and the character all seemed very real just like I'd imagine them. They all seemed just like the Harry and the Ginny and the Ron and Hermione (and Neville and Tonks and everyone else) from the books. It was a great story I'm glad I read it.
BlazingWolf
P.S please excuse the spelling erors |
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| Reviewer: ves heill | Date: 2005-07-07 |
| Reviewid: 126358 | Chapter: 13 |
Sigh. I'm almost sorry I finished the story, as there will be no more to it though I'm keen to begin your other related stuff on your website as soon as this review is finished...
A few thoughts (and again please take this as kind suggestions for improvements, as I've already admitted that I ADORE this story):
1) I know they're married and that because of that it's now permissable for Ginny to publicly state how much she loves Harry, as a wife would. However, I just don't see her making a public plea for Harry to avoid going after Malfoy purely because she was horny. ;) In private, I could see it, but Ginny would have two more years to go under Dumbledore's tutelage, so I think she would likely be more reserved about speaking so openly in front of him. 2) Ginny goes from anger to tears within one line, and I had to go back and read it twice to get that, thus I think an additional narration line about her face going from angry to sad and hurt could be a good addition. 3) how was Harry's dissillusionment charm broken? Was it a counter-charm (or hex or jinx or whatever)? Did harry hear something to indicate it was borken, or did he feel the charm wear off as in OotP? This is unclear. 4) How did Goyle get the polyjuice potion in the first place? Did he brew it or did someone else brew it so that Malfoy could get out? Perhaps something at this point about why Goyle would do that (and risk Voldemort's displeasure) would be appropriate. 5) What was the other thing Harry was going to tell Ginny about their rings? I was looking forward to hearing what that was, but there doesn't seem to be any resolution.
Interesting way to end the fic - it's hard to view them as adults sometimes when we've all been following them through their adolesence, but I think you did a good job at bringing their maturity to the forefront, especially in such a...delicate... situation.
Very well done! |
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| Reviewer: Frank | Date: 2005-07-07 |
| Reviewid: 126346 | Chapter: 13 |
Something must be really screwed up. Flights and Fights is a repeat of the prologue.
Now getting them married and not lifting the hex is just plain cruel. |
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| Reviewer: Son of Salazar | Date: 2005-07-06 |
| Reviewid: 126235 | Chapter: 13 |
| ERROR...yeah so this is the first chapter, not the 12th...please fix that, I'd like to hear the end of this. |
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| Reviewer: Hayley | Date: 2005-07-06 |
| Reviewid: 126232 | Chapter: 13 |
Ummm...When I go into 'Fights and Flights' it comes up as the first chapter...'Parental Pacts'
Could you please try to fix this problem??? |
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| Reviewer: Son of Salazar | Date: 2005-07-06 |
| Reviewid: 126226 | Chapter: 5 |
| I'm loving your story, the idea is brilliant, and the charactorizations are spot on. One suggestion, and I'm assuming your intent by giving the dates was to show how much time the "Golden Couple" had before the deadine. What would be a neat idea would be to add next to the date, in a somewhat "24ish" fashion, the amount of time left untill Ginny's birthday. If you make up a time of birth you can even put in hours and minutes, I think its a fun idea and it certainly adds to the urgency of their situation. I can't get over your story idea. Hilarious and yet believeable. |
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| Reviewer: ves heill | Date: 2005-07-06 |
| Reviewid: 126221 | Chapter: 13 |
| If you're trying to ensure you have the best cliffhanger ever, I concede. You do. But please, please, PLEASE fix the link so that it actually does show the new chapter. I'm dyin' over here! |
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| Reviewer: Accent | Date: 2005-07-06 |
| Reviewid: 126209 | Chapter: 13 |
| YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!I was so excited to get the new chapter, and it is the prologue! |
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| Reviewer: Erica Vermette | Date: 2005-07-06 |
| Reviewid: 126206 | Chapter: 13 |
| NOOO! I was so excited for the new chapter, but I keep getting the Prologue instead!!! Please fix this error before I implode from the suspense! |
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| Reviewer: audrey | Date: 2005-07-06 |
| Reviewid: 126125 | Chapter: 13 |
| oh no! the new chapter is the prologue again. please update soon i can't wait to find out what happens next |
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| Reviewer: Tash | Date: 2005-07-02 |
| Reviewid: 125915 | Chapter: 12 |
| NO!!! I thought this fic was completed....please update soon and try to finish it before HBP!!! |
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| Reviewer: Taylor | Date: 2005-07-02 |
| Reviewid: 125899 | Chapter: 12 |
| That was definatly a full chapter! Argh... why did you have to stop the chapter with a HUGE cliffhanger? I was definatly a little surprised with the twist at the end. |
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| Reviewer: i love me | Date: 2005-07-02 |
| Reviewid: 125851 | Chapter: 12 |
| great story, although i didn't like the cliffhanger much. but then i hate cliffhangers. they suck. hurry up with the next chapter. |
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| Reviewer: harold | Date: 2005-07-01 |
| Reviewid: 125835 | Chapter: 12 |
| great story i realy like it but do me a favor and hurry up i wanto know iif they make it so please hurry |
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| Reviewer: beck | Date: 2005-06-28 |
| Reviewid: 125500 | Chapter: 12 |
| poor ginny and harry i do hope everything works out cant wait to find out what happens |
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| Reviewer: ves heill | Date: 2005-06-28 |
| Reviewid: 125496 | Chapter: 12 |
| Just to be clear - the review below was for all 11 chapters thus far, not just through chapter 2. Though I'm guessing you knew that already. ;) |
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| Reviewer: ves heill | Date: 2005-06-28 |
| Reviewid: 125494 | Chapter: 2 |
I read the entire story thus far in one sitting yesterday, which says a lot. I enjoyed it IMMENSELY and am absolutely on pins and needles to see what happens next (truth be told I almost hate having “discovered” it yesterday, rather that at the end when I could have read through it completely. In fact, I read the whole thing through twice yesterday I liked it so much!
What I like: the dialogue is believable and appropriate to each character – I don’t find that the characters speak in ways that would not befit their ages nor do I find the phrases used to be unlikely in the situations. Well done in that, indeed. I enjoyed the family dynamics you have presented, the pranks and Percy still be estranged though attending the wedding anyways, especially. The description of their growing love for each other was truly beautiful.
What I think could use a bit of refining (and I do hope you take these as well-mentioned since they are meant to be helpful): 1. The punishment for not abiding by the arrangement seemed decent, but perhaps not compelling enough to make someone decide in a matter of days how to shape the course of their lives, and indeed seemed to change somewhat in the story (I wasn’t sure whether Ginny was going to be made “incapable” as Harry would be made, or just unable to bear children). 2. The bit about Dumbledore fearing that he may have altered the contract by telling Remus about it seemed to go nowhere. If this is going to be remedied in future chapters I apologize – otherwise it seems odd to have mentioned it in the first place since it builds tension that never is resolved. 3. I understand the need to calm jitters about their being together, but the part about the purple color in the compatibility test felt forced: we get that they’re in love and will do well together - since it’s been building for the entire story and the previous HP books we don’t need further proof of it. 4. Be sure to check little things like spelling errors - especially the ones where the words are correct but used improperly. There’s nothing worse than being deliciously wrapped up in a wonderful and beautiful story than to read an error and get an immediate jolt back to reality.
That being said, I do think you have real talent at writing. Please continue – both here and elsewhere. :) |
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| Reviewer: BlazingWolf | Date: 2005-06-28 |
| Reviewid: 125458 | Chapter: 12 |
Begining this chapter I was "thinking finnaly their getting married!!!" Then close to the end I felt stupid for not expecting the "Deadline". This whole story has been so suspenceful it's killing me and now I don't know what to expect, but whatever it is I'm sure it will be as fantastic as the previous chapters! This is (to me) the best story in the Sugar Quill! Your a great author and I hope to read all of your future works!
BlazingWolf
P.S. Does Dumbledore happen to have a time-turner at hand? |
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| Reviewer: Shanda | Date: 2005-06-25 |
| Reviewid: 125198 | Chapter: 12 |
| I love this story. It seems though that Chap. 11 and 12 are identical. Let me know when it is fixed--I am hooked! |
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| Reviewer: Julie | Date: 2005-06-25 |
| Reviewid: 125184 | Chapter: 11 |
| I kinda think you made a mistake with the chapter posting. (Deadline seeems to be the same as the last) Anyway, while I'm here, great story! I've been reading it for a while. Continue with your great work! |
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| Reviewer: Mr.Intel | Date: 2005-06-25 |
| Reviewid: 125116 | Chapter: 12 |
| I apologize for the upload error. I have re-submitted the correct chapter for 'Dealine', which should actually read 'Deadline'. My apologies. |
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| Reviewer: Hayley | Date: 2005-06-25 |
| Reviewid: 125078 | Chapter: 12 |
Ummm...there's two of the same chapter here, when I go to 'Dealine' it's the same as 'Department of Records and Statistics'.
Could you please check why this is???
I really want to read what's instore for Harry' stag night... |
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| Reviewer: audrey | Date: 2005-06-25 |
| Reviewid: 125074 | Chapter: 11 |
| there's duplicate chapters for some reson when i go to dealine i get the dept of records and stats chapter again |
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| Reviewer: Cannonsgurl90 | Date: 2005-06-16 |
| Reviewid: 124245 | Chapter: 11 |
| Glad to see you're updating again! And just in time to make getting my wisdom teeth out a little less painful. :-) |
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| Reviewer: jules | Date: 2005-06-16 |
| Reviewid: 124110 | Chapter: 11 |
| Can't wait to see what's going on with that ring. You sneaky little devil, wetting out lips like that and pulling the cake away. I want the next chapter ASAP!!! Keep writing. I can't wait to see what happens next. |
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| Reviewer: Shanda | Date: 2005-06-13 |
| Reviewid: 123912 | Chapter: 10 |
| This is an interesting story and I have truly been looking forward to reading it. I am glad to see you introducing some of the danger Harry is in because I was wondering where that might fit in, especially since he is obviously so concerned about it in canon. Keep it up and update soon! |
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| Reviewer: jules | Date: 2005-06-11 |
| Reviewid: 123708 | Chapter: 10 |
| I want MORE!!!!! Wonderful characterization, just the right amount of sweetness and laughter. Looking forward to reading the next chapter. Please write more. . .SOON. |
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| Reviewer: beck | Date: 2005-06-10 |
| Reviewid: 123655 | Chapter: 10 |
| I loved the ending of this chapter it was so cute how he proposed great job cant wait for the next chapter i cant wait for there wedding =) |
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| Reviewer: Julie | Date: 2005-06-02 |
| Reviewid: 123239 | Chapter: 9 |
| I realize you're probably really busy but where's the rest of the sotry. I have been impatiently waiting for the next installment for weeks now. Sorry for being so impatient, but it's getting good and I can't wait to read the outcome. |
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| Reviewer: Angel STreet | Date: 2005-04-27 |
| Reviewid: 120816 | Chapter: 9 |
wow; i didn't think you'd make it work as well as it does. wonderful. congrats. keepw riting.
*Angel* |
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| Reviewer: Mary | Date: 2005-04-25 |
| Reviewid: 120590 | Chapter: 9 |
Outstanding!!!!!!!!!!...as always!!!!!!! I am on pins and needles for the next installment!!! Oh and I love that line "Washing dishes is mindless drudgery, but it’s okay because I’m washing dishes with you.”
Too true when you are with your true love and best friend. |
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| Reviewer: weasley2wins | Date: 2005-04-25 |
| Reviewid: 120570 | Chapter: 9 |
| Fantastic and funny as usual but with an extra spark of romance. Much enjoyed! |
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| Reviewer: Genesse | Date: 2005-04-24 |
| Reviewid: 120533 | Chapter: 9 |
| Yay for the almost-Johnny Lingo moment there! Your Ginny Weasley is definitely an eight-cow wife! |
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| Reviewer: Jessie | Date: 2005-04-17 |
| Reviewid: 119774 | Chapter: 1 |
| This is a WONDERFUL story!!!! Please continue it ASAP! I can't wait to see what happens! |
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| Reviewer: Banjo Man | Date: 2005-04-09 |
| Reviewid: 119080 | Chapter: 8 |
| Still excellent! I read one of your others at mugglenet, and didn't think there could be any better...and then I fond this one!!! Great!!! though, there is one little thing that has been nagging at the back of my head....what happened to the occasional twinges and throbbing of Harry's scar? it probably doesn't matter, but it seemed weird to me...otherwise, I love it!! Thanks... |
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| Reviewer: Jules | Date: 2005-04-06 |
| Reviewid: 118804 | Chapter: 8 |
| I thought this was going to be some trifle, fluffy piece of crap, but I was pleasantly surprised. You've kept in with keeping of the original characters, although I don't remember any part of Dumbledore with a small pipe. Anyhow, I love what you have done so far and hunger for the next chaper. Please hurry. |
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| Reviewer: Gryfny | Date: 2005-04-05 |
| Reviewid: 118720 | Chapter: 8 |
Good Chapter.
"Ginny sighed. “Yes, well, Mafalda’s a handful by normal standards. I can’t imagine if she had a wand and learned how to use it. She’s a Slytherin in the making, if I ever saw one." A nice way to explain up Mafalda.
I wonder whether the castle will be important in the future chapters.. |
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| Reviewer: Hayley | Date: 2005-04-01 |
| Reviewid: 118376 | Chapter: 8 |
Wow!!! Cool chapter I luv how Harry and Ginny are progressing!!!!
Please Update ASAP!!!
AWESOME... |
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| Reviewer: Mary | Date: 2005-04-01 |
| Reviewid: 118373 | Chapter: 8 |
| Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!! I am freaking out!!!!!!!! I love this story!!! I can't wait for the next installment!!! I love that you have Ron writing a letter to Hermione's parents. It was a great touch. I really hope you keep this story going past the wedding!!! You are doing an awesome job!! |
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| Reviewer: Anna J. | Date: 2005-04-01 |
| Reviewid: 118365 | Chapter: 8 |
| PLEASE UPDATE SOON! this is really good! i love the characterizations in this chapter. |
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| Reviewer: WWW | Date: 2005-03-26 |
| Reviewid: 117805 | Chapter: 7 |
| exepional as usual! They kissed! Oh and Ron and Hermione.....well it's probably a good thing Harry slept on the couch! But when will he propose? Hopefully soon, I'm dying for more!I can't wait to see what Fred and George have..*ehemm* coming to them whatever it is I'm sure they'll have a HEX of a time! |
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| Reviewer: Frank | Date: 2005-03-26 |
| Reviewid: 117737 | Chapter: 1 |
Good story so far. I jumped back to the prologue to see if there was a timeline.
Given the lack of definitive information, I have to voice a chicken-or-egg question. Was the arranged marraige ratified by the fact that Arthur and Molly had conceived a girl, or did the arrangement itself force the choice of sex (or even the fact that there was a 7th Weasley child at all)?
An interesting question I'd like to see answered. |
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| Reviewer: Gryfny | Date: 2005-03-24 |
| Reviewid: 117580 | Chapter: 7 |
| Great chapter. I especially enjoyed the pranks and Bill's reaction, though I wish we could have seen Charlie's reaction also. Great chapter. |
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| Reviewer: beck | Date: 2005-03-23 |
| Reviewid: 117509 | Chapter: 7 |
| once again excelent chapter i love this story it is so great funny and serious and just the right kind of get away fromt the daley grind cant wait for the next chapter. I love how you describe everything and write out how things happen i kinda wish you showed charlies response but it was good the way you wrote it to =) |
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| Reviewer: Mary | Date: 2005-03-23 |
| Reviewid: 117457 | Chapter: 7 |
| I just wanted to say that I absolutely love this story!!! I hope you keep on writing about after the wedding and what it is like for them back at Hogwarts. This story is just so well written and I had a huge smile on my face today when I saw that this story was updated. Keep up the great work!!! |
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| Reviewer: Genesse | Date: 2005-03-23 |
| Reviewid: 117455 | Chapter: 7 |
| *am ashamed that I haven't left a review thus far* I've thoroughly enjoyed your story, to which I was pointed by Ara Kane. (Betas are such good advertisers!) I haven't been reading a lot of fan fic lately (where are my priorities?), but The Bargain is one that I have been keeping up with--the others being Shifts and Disavowals. I'm so glad that Harry and Ginny got to have their first kiss. I think you drew it out long enough! ;) I am eagerly waiting for more! |
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| Reviewer: Darker_Rage | Date: 2005-03-23 |
| Reviewid: 117427 | Chapter: 7 |
| When I read the first couple of chapters, I was worried that this was going to degenerate into smut. I am delighted that I am so far proved wrong, and you've instead produced some wonderful fluff. You write very well, encapsulating details with a keen eye for detail. I was especially fond of Tonks in the first dance lesson scene. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter! |
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| Reviewer: Azaelia | Date: 2005-03-09 |
| Reviewid: 115925 | Chapter: 6 |
Well! This is certainly a unique adventure... Don't get me wrong, I'm quite enjoying it! It's refreshing to read because the idea is so different from anything else I've ever seen. Your characterizations are perfect...I especially enjoyed Molly evicting Arthur to the couch for a week or so. It was something she would do:In the books, I always got the impression that Arthur was rather afraid of her!
I can't wait to see what brilliant prank Harry and Ginny are going to pull on Bill. Those two minds working together, there's no stopping them.
Please write more soon!
~Azaelia |
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| Reviewer: Weasley2wins | Date: 2005-03-08 |
| Reviewid: 115815 | Chapter: 6 |
| I want to see the look on bill's face after running into all those hexes! exceptional (as always) I postivley LOVED it! PLEASE UPDATE SOON! |
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| Reviewer: WWW | Date: 2005-03-07 |
| Reviewid: 115813 | Chapter: 6 |
| "Ginny Weasley devios master-mind" I like it! Poor Harry though, could of become one of the first wizard ice cubes. |
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| Reviewer: QueenEvita | Date: 2005-03-04 |
| Reviewid: 115524 | Chapter: 6 |
This is really funny!! I really like reading it. But shouldnt Harry have kissed Ginny now? Or are you waiting for the oportune moment?
~QueenEvita |
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| Reviewer: Mary | Date: 2005-03-04 |
| Reviewid: 115425 | Chapter: 6 |
| This chapter has left me with a huge smile on my face. It had some very good laugh out loud moments. I love this story and I hope you update really soon!!! |
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| Reviewer: Anna J. | Date: 2005-03-03 |
| Reviewid: 115323 | Chapter: 5 |
| i just read this story, and really love it. It has a great premise, and i think that it will continue really well. congrats to the guest authors in this chaper, all the parts blended well. please try to update soon! |
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| Reviewer: Weasley2wins | Date: 2005-03-01 |
| Reviewid: 115251 | Chapter: 5 |
| This story made me blush, laugh and even cry. It's all the things a good story should contain and more! It's truly exeptional! PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!! |
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| Reviewer: Narumi | Date: 2005-02-28 |
| Reviewid: 115173 | Chapter: 5 |
| this is so great!!! i haven't loved a fic as much as this on first reading in months! i absolutely love everything about it, you're doing fabulously. i'm absolutely dying for more- my expression when i saw this was the last chapter would have you rolling on the floor with laughter. please continue working on this wonderful story, and resist the temptation to get bored or give up like so many other talented authors out there! i think i would have to finish it myself if you did, and THAT would not be pretty! ;) |
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