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Review(s): 21
| Reviewer: Jenna | Date: 2005-09-08 |
| Reviewid: 131985 | Chapter: 1 |
| I really like this story. I was happy that the books seem to be allowing Neville to find himself a little bit, and I like your idea that the way people see right through him may be a manifestation of his own magic - and his desire not to be noticed. Also, I thought there was a strange discrepancy between the way Neville talks about his grandmother early in the series and the way she is portrayed later on. Sort of like her criticisms mask her love for her grandson, even though Neville loves her blindly no matter what. You showed that very eloquently here. |
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| Reviewer: J Forias | Date: 2005-04-18 |
| Reviewid: 119900 | Chapter: 1 |
Just thought I should take the time to review this because I absolutely loved it the first time I read it. The narrative style is brilliant - so much that I probably wouldn't have even noticed it but for the note at the top. Thats how natural it felt for me.
Your comment about subdued Weasleys is spot on and the speculation on Neville's abilities is very cool. I really liked the little touch about Harry's invisibility cloak.
"I'm sorry, Gran," he whispers. "I tried to keep it safe, but keeping Harry safe was more important."
Wow. Don't what to say. Brilliant line and followed by one of those endings that just makes you want to cry. Really, really excellent alround. |
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| Reviewer: Zeenat | Date: 2005-03-28 |
| Reviewid: 117917 | Chapter: 1 |
| Oh wow RR- how did you do that? It's perfect.. You don't know how many times I thought about exactly that meeting but utterly failed to imagine what it'd be like. I love Neville- my heart is always breaking for him, the darling- I hate it when he is treated like a fool or dismissively, and my heart glows with pride when others see how good, sweet and strong his nature really is. You made me get fighting mad on his behalf than bursting with pride without skipping a beat... it's a wonderful little scene ReaderRavenclaw :D |
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| Reviewer: Enti | Date: 2005-03-25 |
| Reviewid: 117667 | Chapter: 1 |
That was cute.. And omg Neville was there, when.. his parents.. oh the poor boy! But he doesn't seem to remember, does he?
It was very short but well written. |
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| Reviewer: Ylime | Date: 2005-03-24 |
| Reviewid: 117640 | Chapter: 1 |
That was really beautiful. I thought the present tense was very striking and it worked well with this story. I enjoyed the way you implied lots of things (such as that Neville was present when his parents were tortured - interesting idea) without having to spell it out.
Well done! |
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| Reviewer: Clumsy Maniac | Date: 2005-03-20 |
| Reviewid: 117191 | Chapter: 1 |
Poor Neville! Mr. Cellophane finally being seen for who he truly is by his Gran makes such a fantastic fic. All of the ideas here, such as Neville's manifestation of magic in the form of invisibility is wondeful, and well thought out, and all of the little scenes fit together well. You asked for comments on your new style, and I found that although it works, in a different kind of way, the present tense makes the story almost feel as if it is rushing along, somewhat detatched, maybe? I feel it may have lost some of the fantastic detail you're so goood at. That's probably just me though.
"Neville wants to ask, but doesn't quite dare"
"I tried to keep it safe, but keeping Harry safe was more important."
Wonderful. |
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| Reviewer: The Trish | Date: 2005-03-17 |
| Reviewid: 116800 | Chapter: 1 |
| Oh Neville!! That was superb. I always felt sorry for Neville, like he was treated unfairly, though he's always been in the right. This was written wonderfully. The tense it was written in, instead of being: "Gran stood up, and the light shone on her fance, and her eyes had tears in them." It was like it was happening now, and it made me feel like I was shadowing Neville and seeing everything he saw. Awesome effect. |
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| Reviewer: Fishead | Date: 2005-03-12 |
| Reviewid: 116330 | Chapter: 1 |
| Awww this is so cute!! This was a very touching nice little story. Your other fic is very cool too btw... |
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| Reviewer: Nundu | Date: 2005-03-11 |
| Reviewid: 116152 | Chapter: 1 |
"I tried to keep it safe, but keeping Harry safe was more important."
Ah, Gryffindor courage. This is a lovely piece. I was not at all distracted by the tense in which it was written. You do it well. Your characterisations are lovely and canon.
The concept of Neville's ability to 'disappear' is quite interesting and believable.
Overall fabulous story! |
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| Reviewer: beck | Date: 2005-03-10 |
| Reviewid: 116074 | Chapter: 1 |
| LOVED IT. That was great loved all the details ecspecially about neville being able to turn invisible when he wants. And I liked the way you had Gran react at the end that was really nice I do love your writing and as much as i want a update to Pheonix and the Serpent i really hope you do another one about Nevile getting a new wand =) |
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| Reviewer: MrRobertsIII | Date: 2005-03-10 |
| Reviewid: 116061 | Chapter: 1 |
"Can a child's magic manifest itself in invisibility?"
-Good idea! never came across that before. It would definitely fit with Neville. |
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| Reviewer: Hannah | Date: 2005-03-10 |
| Reviewid: 116059 | Chapter: 1 |
| That was sweet. I liked it that the characters didn't milk it for all it was worth. Gran's reaction was especially touching: not all angsty and dramatic, or even a little angsty and dramatic, just sad. |
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| Reviewer: Birgit | Date: 2005-03-10 |
| Reviewid: 116058 | Chapter: 1 |
Great story. The summary pulled me in right away, completely ignoring the half a dozen of stories that have been on my to-read list for ages. I just had to read this, and I was not disappointed. I love it.
I think the thing I love most about this story is that you say so little and imply so much. You tell us entire stories, about the attack on the Longbottoms, about Gran raising Harry, about Madam Marchbanks, and in particular about Gran's emotions at this moment. It's amazing that you can write a story from Neville's point of view, which isn't so impressive because of what it says about Neville, but because of what it says about a lot of other things, without mentioning anything specifically.
I just don't understand why you used present tense. I don't think it adds anything, but it's unusual and therefore distracting. Perhaps you meant to convey something with it, but I'm afraid that I haven't noticed it.
But the story works anyway, and it works well. (Unless, of course, you intended this to be a character study of Neville. I think Neville is perfectly in character, but in my opinion, the story isn't about him. It's about Gran, and it's wonderful.) |
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| Reviewer: Reader2 | Date: 2005-03-10 |
| Reviewid: 116046 | Chapter: 1 |
| Very nice, but much too short, ficlet. This is the 2nd (also short) tale that has alluded to Nevilles ability to go unnoticed. An excellent special skill that deserves more exposure. |
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| Reviewer: Zachere | Date: 2005-03-10 |
| Reviewid: 116030 | Chapter: 1 |
Hey, nice! You have a nice writing style.
(Neville has seen his Gran cry, though. When he got his Hogwarts letter) |
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| Reviewer: Gryfny | Date: 2005-03-10 |
| Reviewid: 116024 | Chapter: 1 |
The story is beutifully written. The way he manages to stay in the shadows seemingly inivisable, I see it as a kind of portrayal of Neville's "previous" character, before he gained some courage in OotP, fighting in the Ministry.
The ending was especially well written and poignant. I especially liked these two lines.
"I'm sorry, Gran," he whispers. "I tried to keep it safe, but keeping Harry safe was more important."
<snip>"We'll get you a new wand," she says, her voice unsteady, and enfolds him in a tight, smothering hug. |
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| Reviewer: Rachel | Date: 2005-03-10 |
| Reviewid: 116012 | Chapter: 1 |
| Thanks so much. This was a beautiful story, excellently written. I like your use of present tense ~ it gives your story simplicity, and is never awkward. The invisibility-as-early-magic comment, and the implications, were chilling. I'd never, ever thought of that before. Overall, an absolutely wonderful read. |
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