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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Forbidden Fruit
Review(s): 51

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-01-17
Reviewid: 138657Chapter: 9
Wow. Thank you for this wonderful gift. Really excellent. This was reading time MOST pleasurably spent.

Reviewer: aylaDate: 2005-06-04
Reviewid: 123285Chapter: 9
Your story had me at the edge of my seat! Marvelous! :D

{Waits patiencly for your next installments}

Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2005-05-29
Reviewid: 123012Chapter: 9
Many thanks for your kind reviews, Vala, prplhez8, moonette, Patricia Shea, and Sreya!

I promised an answer to Herm-own-ninny's question (and since my attempts at sending a PM failed, I'll attempt an answer here).I assume that Peter was clever enough to patch things up with Sirius, but that Sirius still regarded Peter as beneath him. In PoA, Sirius justifies his choice of Peter as Secret-Keeper, as follows: "I thought it was the perfect plan...a bluff... Voldemort would be sure to come after me, would never dream they'd use a weak, talentless thing like you." Quite simply, Sirius underestimated Peter. And Peter must have built up a good deal of resentment toward Sirius to frame him the way he did. Alternative viewpoints are welcomed.

Thanks all,
Eudora

Reviewer: SreyaDate: 2005-05-28
Reviewid: 122911Chapter: 9
Wow. The way you've wrapped up all that imagery in this last chapter is just... breathtaking, really. Excellent job.

Reviewer: Patricia SheaDate: 2005-05-28
Reviewid: 122903Chapter: 9
Well written & thoroughly thought out. Good references. Excellent depiction of Remus, Sirius, Dumbledore, Peter... even James & Lily. I have NEVER understood why no one suspected Peter... since I have always considered him an obvious suspect as a weaker link. Remus could not have afforded to be anything other than loyal; he valued these friendships too much. Sirius could not have been covert about his loyalties. If HE had changed loyalties, he would have been open about it. James was not in question. Peter was the obvious traitor. At least to me. :)

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-05-27
Reviewid: 122803Chapter: 9
'Emmeline leaned her head against Remus’ shoulder, while a torrent of tears ran down her face. A prickling discomfort trickled over Remus. Oh, Merlin. Why did women always think he could handle these sorts of things?'

I LOL at that one. And I'm guilty of that too! Well, Eudora, I'm sad to see that the story has ended - but what an ending! And perhaps your hint at the Fountain of Youth means you have another wonderful tale up your sleeve? I loved every moment of this story. The characterizations were perfect. You truly are a master at portraying Dumbledore - the mannerisms, the descriptions, his dialogue, his wisdom, and his insight with tragic limitations. He always adds something meaningful to the story rather than just being window dressing. I have to congratulate you on the complexity of this story. It was never overwhelming, however, and you were able to keep the characters true and the world you created wonderfully vivid and beautiful. You have a talent for the true emotion of human interrelationships, as well as amazing action scenes, pathos as well as humor. Is there anything you can't do? I can't wait for your next one! Thank you.

Reviewer: prplhez8Date: 2005-05-27
Reviewid: 122755Chapter: 9
Eudora ~

Never in my wild imagination did I dream of anything like this! Well done! I don't think I possess the correct words to tell you of the wonderfulness of this tale. So I will leave you with this...

I've enjoyed the journey...and I look forward to many more with you.

~prplhez8

Reviewer: ValaDate: 2005-05-27
Reviewid: 122752Chapter: 9
Very nice ending and a very good way to put together the missing pieces that Jo has so conveniently left out. I've really enjoyed the ride. Your plot was incredible and fast paced and the emotion was just powerful. Your characterizations were spot on you had just the right amount of action. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2005-05-25
Reviewid: 122698Chapter: 8
Thanks for your reviews, Patricia Shea, Vala, Starsea, prplhez8, moonette, and Herm-own-ninny!

Starsea, I was sorry to see Ahmed go too, but it was necessary for the plot. The battle was over quickly, yes. But is the main event over? The last chapter will tell.

Herm-own-ninny, you raise an excellent question about Peter. I promise that I will address it, after the concluding chapter posts. Chapter 9 is in the queue.

Thanks again,
Eudora

Reviewer: Herm-own-ninnyDate: 2005-05-25
Reviewid: 122695Chapter: 8
I absolutely love your characterization of Peter. If I'm reading things the way you intended, then I get the feeling that Sirius had a fair amount of disdain for Peter, as well. I'm curious, how does that reconcile with Sirius's suggestion that Peter be named the Potter's secret-keeper? (I'm sure you've thought of that, I'm just wondering WHAT you've thought.) Can't wait to read the concluding chapter!

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-05-20
Reviewid: 122480Chapter: 7
I've gotten a little behind in my reviewing, but be assured, I have eagerly anticipated and read each chapter as they have been posted, and have not been disappointed. I remember a few action scenes you wrote in your previous fics that I was highly impressed by, and this one was simply riveting. Once again I just love the other-worldly feeling of this fic, and to contrast the beauty and calmness and wonder that you've shown thus far with the brutality of the battle and Voldemort was amazing. Your Voldemort is frighteningly evil - once again, spot on characterization, which is your forte (at least one of them). :}

Reviewer: prplhez8Date: 2005-05-19
Reviewid: 122406Chapter: 8
Eudora - once again a perfect chapter! I was so wrought for Sirius wanting to go after Meadowes and wanting to stay with Remus...btw ... what's Peter up to? I know he's up to something no goood... ;) .... you can tell me...

Great Job!

~prplhez8

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-05-18
Reviewid: 122371Chapter: 8
What a sad chapter, given that we already know what happens to Dorcas. The main event seems to be over rather quickly, did you mean to do that? I was rather sorry that Ahmed was killed off so quickly. You make Peter's manipulation seem very credible.

Favourite Line: “A rabid werewolf… all those tourists… Only you would think that was a good idea.” Understandably thoughtless, but still, poor Remus.

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: ValaDate: 2005-05-18
Reviewid: 122344Chapter: 8
This is going to come to a very interesting conclusion. Poor Sirius! It doesn't help that we all know what happens to Meadowes. Oooo...I'm on pins and needles waiting!

Reviewer: Patricia SheaDate: 2005-05-18
Reviewid: 122275Chapter: 8
Deeper & darker... good job! I look forward to every new chapter you post!

Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2005-05-13
Reviewid: 122023Chapter: 7
Thanks prplhez8, Vala, Patricia, and Lori! I'm stoked to hear that the action scenes worked and that the themes of this story are coming across. Thanks a bunch.

The next chapter should come up in the next round of updates.

Eudora

Reviewer: LoriDate: 2005-05-13
Reviewid: 122006Chapter: 7
I'm glad I found this excellent story. Your plot details are very original and I like the way you show that MWPP were already starting to be suspicious of each other a year before everything fell apart. Looking forward to more...

Reviewer: PatriciaDate: 2005-05-11
Reviewid: 121865Chapter: 7
Have checked every day for a new chapter... & the wait was worth it! Please hurry with the next one... the suspense is incredible!

Reviewer: ValaDate: 2005-05-10
Reviewid: 121775Chapter: 7
Holy crap what an AWESOME battle scene! *at a loss for words*

Reviewer: prplhez8Date: 2005-05-10
Reviewid: 121771Chapter: 7
Eudora!

Again with the cliffie! Not Dorcas! Dangit!

Once again, wonderful. It moved so fast, your action writing skills are superb.

>>“Dorcaaaaaaaaas!” Sirius’ agonized cry rang over the desolate remains of a lost paradise.<<

....says it all...

Grand, just grand!

Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2005-05-07
Reviewid: 121558Chapter: 6
Many thanks Patricia, moonette, taeda, prplhez8, and Vala! Loved your comments. You made my week. :-)

Chapter 7 should come up in the next round of posts.

Eudora

Reviewer: PatriciaDate: 2005-05-01
Reviewid: 121145Chapter: 6
This story is BRILLIANT !!! Can hardly wait for more....

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-05-01
Reviewid: 121136Chapter: 6
I continue to be struck by how effortlessly it seems you transport me to this other world. It is so well conceived, so detailed, and so uniquely different. I love the contrast of the canon characters staying so in character in such an exotic place. I feel like I'm on vacation every time I read this.

Dorcas is an interesting strong female character - I hope she doesn't fold too heavily under Sirius' charms - keep the old boy working a bit longer! And Remus - poor Remus - can he ever catch a break? He was forging a nice bond with Ahmed - hope it's not too late. But at least he had that moment of joy.

I just love this. Can't wait for Ch 7.

Reviewer: PatriciaDate: 2005-05-01
Reviewid: 121124Chapter: 3
I have been reading a lot of fan fiction lately and have even written a bit of it. Most of it -- even when the story is a good one -- has to be mentally corrected for grammar and/or spelling as I read it.

THIS story has an original theme, the characters are well written and easy to recognize as themselves. I have recommended it to other readers I know because of these things and also because it is beautifully written. It is lots of fun and is a pure pleasure to read!!!

Thank you for sharing it!

Reviewer: taedaDate: 2005-04-30
Reviewid: 121063Chapter: 4
This is a really cool fic. I love your descriptions of the greek islands - surely you've spent time there to describe it so vividly. A little sad too, because we know Voldemort does become immortal, so the mission must fail. And you can see the distrust beginning between the marauders already. The sneakoscope and wormtail - wonder where you got that idea?! ;) It works well though. I just had to pause at the end of Ch4 here - I love the description of Remus's backwards memories, and using a quote from Revelations (the end of the world) in a story about eden (the beginning of the world), brilliant.

Reviewer: prplhez8Date: 2005-04-30
Reviewid: 121025Chapter: 6
Eudora -

OMB! A cliffie!! ARGH!!!

What another wonderful chapter!!! I absolutely adored this one!!! Remus is my favorite by far and knowing he might be thisclose to having a cure or having his condition lessened...it must've been hard for him!

And Sirius and Meadowes!!! You could've blown me over with a feather. Holy Bob!!! It's very unlike Sirius to have something so secretive...well in the woman department anyway...I bet its just eating him up!!!!

But another wonderful chapter...cannot wait for the next!!
*is sitting on pins and needles*

Reviewer: AlexDate: 2005-04-30
Reviewid: 121007Chapter: 6
Ooo...Naked Remus...not a bad thing. This whole story has been really awesome so far. I wish I could give better reviews, but I really have nothing to say but keep writing! It always makes me so happy when I see you've updated.

Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2005-04-27
Reviewid: 120786Chapter: 1
Thanks for the information, Alphie. My Bad! I used the term "graduation" not to indicate a ceremony, but rather that Remus had completed his studies. It was a passing reference to set up the time frame and not particularly germane to the story itself, but a poor word choice in hindsight. I'll store that for future reference. Thanks.

Reviewer: AlphieDate: 2005-04-26
Reviewid: 120741Chapter: 1
This certinaly is an interesting idea, one that I haven't seen before. I do look forward to reading the rest of it but I wanted to chime in an let you know about one very obvious mistake you have at the start of this. "Only two years had passed since his graduation from these very halls." I very nearly hit the back button when I saw this sentance because to me it says that the author hasn't paid much attention to the ways of the English school system. I made this same mistake a very long time ago, but soon learned that there is no graduation in England. They just leave. I suggest this change: "Only two years had passed since he had walked these very halls for the last time." I'm surprised your beta reader didn't catch it. But like I said, don't let this one comment stop you here. I do think you are on your way to a very interesting story. Just learn from this and move on.

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-04-25
Reviewid: 120604Chapter: 5
Do I think I know where this is headed? Absolutely not. I'm just along for the ride, baby! Actually, one of the comments I wanted to make was that the plot is so intriguing and complex and each new twist is surprising and unexpected. I admire you for that. Time travel in itself must be so tough to write. Add in the espionage, love/lust triangle, Wormtail who is up to no good, Snape who is doing God know's what and this whole other world you've created, and you've got yourself quite a tale! I love it.

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-04-24
Reviewid: 120530Chapter: 5
Ooh... very interesting. I love how you're developing the various relationships and the dynamics between the Marauders. Ahmed's explanations about the Portal were clear, and wonderful to read. I hope to see more of him. And I wonder why Peter doesn't like him?

Very interesting indeed.

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: ValaDate: 2005-04-24
Reviewid: 120526Chapter: 5
WHOA! What a ride! Keep it up! I'm really enjoying your plot twists and you leave us on a cliffhanger again. Your characterization has been perfect. I hope your next chapter is coming soon!

Reviewer: LorieDate: 2005-04-22
Reviewid: 120346Chapter: 1
I have read the first four chapters, and I want to compliment you on how you are bringing this story along. It seems like a great idea, and you are building it up nicely. You are doing a wonderful job at showing the main characters as three-dimensional, which pulls the reader right into the story. Congratulations for such a great beginning, and I am looking forward to the next chapters!

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-04-20
Reviewid: 120134Chapter: 4
There is such a poetic sensuality to your writing, which is only enhanced by the exotic locale. I love your creativity with magic. We never forget we're in the wizarding world in your stories. Remus and Sirius are idealistic and naive and this seems to be continually problematic for them on their quest. It makes for a bit of nervousness on my part as I read. Good job, as I never want to reach a true level of comfort in an adventure story such as this. And what is our dear Potions master up to? The plot thickens deliciously and lusciously! Thanks Eudora.

Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2005-04-19
Reviewid: 119976Chapter: 4
Thanks Starsea, moonette, Violet Azure, Vala, and prplhez8! You have me grinning like an idiot! :-D

As for Remus with the towel...I admit it. I'm a shameless fangirl.

Starsea, good catch! More about that Sneakoscope later. ;-)

Reviewer: prplhez8Date: 2005-04-19
Reviewid: 119953Chapter: 4
Eudora -

Once again you leave me hanging!! OMB! And once again you come through with a completely captivating chapter. I'm looking forward to these like a kid looks forward to his favorite lunch at school, with unbridled abandon.

This tale is flawless, in my opinion. It has everything, Remus and Sirius, intrigue, betrayal, sensuality, love, friendship....I really couldn't ask for more than that and then your writing is so tight...it is wonderful!

Job well done on another chapter!!

Reviewer: AlexDate: 2005-04-19
Reviewid: 119928Chapter: 4
Oooo....a cliffhanger. I love how you keep building up the suspense in this chapter and it has just piled on since the last few chapters. Very nice. I hope you post more soon!

Reviewer: prplhez8Date: 2005-04-18
Reviewid: 119870Chapter: 3
When is the next chapter gonna get here?

I'm dying here!!!

What happened between Dorcas and Sirius? (Btw...I absolutely LOVE her..she crax me up!!)

And I'm gonna have to agree with Moonette here...Remus in a towel, dripping, just out of the shower...HELLO...I'm having a little trouble catching my breath!

Anywho...another wonderful chapter and I cannot wait to get my hands on the next one! I'm absolutely adoring this tale you're weaving here...wonderful!!

Reviewer: prplhez8Date: 2005-04-18
Reviewid: 119869Chapter: 2
OMB!!!! What an awesome chapter!!

Let's shirtless Sirius, stamering Remus and a beautiful woman...what is wrong with that? Absolutely nothing, I tell you, absolutely nothing!!

Well done! I could actually feel the heat radiating off R/S when they were trekking up the hill and Sirius doing his very level best to attract the attention of the beautiful young greek woman. Oh, and the girls outside in the marketplace when they were looking for the Blue Mermaid was hilarious. I imagine our Padfoot DOES attract that kind of attention where ever he goes and poor Remus. Although, I am definitely the kind of gal that goes for lanky, booky sorts..hehehe.

The descriptions you have for your locales are just inviting as all get out! When you talked about Remus' chair at the Mermaid...with rush on the seat...I could just literally hear it crackle when he sat in it...I could feel the dust on their weary traveled souls, the imagery of the sea and the beautiful woman...Makes me wanna be in Greece.

Well done, again! One more chapter and I'm caught up!

Reviewer: prplhez8Date: 2005-04-18
Reviewid: 119866Chapter: 1
Eudora - what a awesome beginning!! You're sucking me in here, with my two favorite characters!!! Sirius characterization is spot on, with his neurotic bachelor ramblings. I love that he is worried about his relationship with Prongs...it is our true Sirius there!!

Moony - there will never be enough Remus in a story to suit me! His train of thought is an intersting take on what might've torn these friends apart before Voldemort did. Moony would be thinking that J&L wouldn't want him around their child - although I believe if Lily knew this she would smack him senseless...I love the man but sometimes...argh!

“Do not fret. James is as resourceful as you are. I have no doubt that he will take care of Lily. Lord Voldemort will not touch them.”


and the foreshadowing of that line..it kills me!!

Well done! Well, well done!!

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2005-04-17
Reviewid: 119848Chapter: 1
Great premis for a story. I love the idea of Eden actually existing and Voldemort going to eat from the Tree of Life. This looks like it's going to be quite an adventure. Looking forward to more.

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-04-17
Reviewid: 119824Chapter: 3
I really like how this story's developing. It's not too slow or too fast. You've laid the outlines of Dorcas's character very well, I think I'm going to like her. (Any woman who stands up to Sirius gets my vote.) I felt a bit sorry for Lupin - Sirius really sometimes leaves him in the dust. Even though he's used to being ignored and rejected, it must still hurt. Peter's appearance makes me... suspicious. I suspect the Sneakoscope may be a running theme in the story.

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-04-17
Reviewid: 119794Chapter: 3
I am so thoroughly enjoying this story. I simply don't understand why you don't have more reviews - this is deserving of much more attention; it's filled with intrigue, mystery, wonderful descriptions of exotic locale, and of course your spot on characterizations. I love the rapport between S & R. Remus has his wry sense of humor and knows S so well that he's fully aware of when he can push buttons and when he should just back off. I loved this part:

"She's going to slap him," Peter said, shaking his head.

"Let's hope not," Remus replied with a wry smirk. "There's nothing more attractive to Sirius than a woman who resists his charms. If she slaps him,he's going to be unbearable on this mission."

And this: "Never cross a Black spoiling for a fight."

I've never read a story by you with Sirius as a main character. You write him quite well (and of course very sexy) - the volatile temper, the wit, the carefree/want to taste it all nature, with just enough petulance. I love it! And how can we go wrong with Remus stepping out of the shower, towel around his waist, dripping wet. Oh my! Can't wait for more. ;)

Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2005-04-13
Reviewid: 119569Chapter: 3
Thanks for the reviews, Vala and moonette!

I hope to post Chapter 4 on the weekend...for the few that are actually following this story. ;-)
In Chapter 4, the three Marauders and Dorcas visit the archeological ruins at Akrotiri in search of the Portal. Was that sneakoscope alert just a random malfunction? Or is trouble brewing? What was Sirius planning?

To all those who are reading but have not reviewed, I welcome your constructive comments and suggestions. After all, I am learning too. Is the pacing too slow? Should I have jump-started the story with an action scene at the very beginning? Is there too much detail/description? Feel free to send a PM, if you're feeling shy.

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-04-13
Reviewid: 119493Chapter: 2
Your vivid descriptions really transport the reader. I felt the heat, thirst and exhaustion right along with Remus and Sirius and could picture the beautiful surroundings so well. I love seeing the friendship between R&S at this stage in their lives. They're more mature than schoolboys, but not terribly - and they are so nicely in character with very natural dialogue. They seem very inexperienced and naive in this assignment (and rightly so) -I hope luck is on their side because they are going to need it! This was a nice escape, Eudora - I love armchair travel. Looking forward to what you have in store for us next!

Reviewer: AlexDate: 2005-04-11
Reviewid: 119284Chapter: 3
I love how you keep incorporating the Order into these chapters. I'm rather uneasy about Peter sneaking in (hmmm....wonder why). Bet I know what set off that sneakoscope ;) Wonderful job on the past two chapters once again. I can already see Remus and Sirius feeling a bit sour toward each other. Keep writing!

Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2005-04-09
Reviewid: 119064Chapter: 1
Thank you, Vala. I've posted the next chapter, so it should come up in the next round of updates.

Thanks again,
Eudora

Reviewer: ValaDate: 2005-04-05
Reviewid: 118769Chapter: 1
Ooo...suspenseful...I really like where this is going, especially the incorperation of the prophecy and the Garden of Eden. It makes sense, actually. Hurry up and post the next chapter. This has some sirius potential.

Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2005-04-01
Reviewid: 118412Chapter: 1
Thank you, Starsea and moonette, for your kind words of encouragement. I hope the rest of the story will not disappoint.

Eudora

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-03-26
Reviewid: 117807Chapter: 1
What an intriguing premise. I'll be back for the next chapters - you've got all the pieces assembled for a very interesting story. The interaction between Remus and Sirius was familiar and realistic, and you also have a way with words - describing the lawns as 'glowing with an iridescent green' for example.

Looking forward to the next chapter,

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-03-26
Reviewid: 117756Chapter: 1
A wonderful start to an intriguing story. You write Dumbledore exceedingly well! I haven't read much ffic set during this time period, so it's nice to have the "blanks filled in" so to speak. R&S are appropriately less mature, having left Hogwarts fairly recently. It certainly does induce a sense of unease in the reader to hear Dumbledore assure R&S that Voldemort will not touch the Potters, knowing the tragedy that lies ahead. This foreshadows the difficult battle that lies ahead, given that the one the Order looks to for wisdom and answers is clearly not infallible. Your work is so reliable, Eudora. Great job.

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