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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 274

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2006-03-17
Reviewid: 141007Chapter: 27
I finally finished reading this story. For some reason I stopped after Twenty Three, which is bizarre. I really loved the development of Lee and Holly's relationship and how Lee came to know himself through Holly. The descriptions were lovely and I enjoyed getting to know the new characters, especially Eppie: her mischief contrasted nicely with Minerva's restraint.

This story is bathed in images of warmth and light, maybe because of Lee and his openness to the world. The image of the lotus painting will stay with me for a long time.


Reviewer: AnyaDate: 2005-11-17
Reviewid: 135948Chapter: 27
Wow...trying to review this story all in one go is like trying to eat a Dagworth sandwich...theres just SO MUCH to go over. This is not mere fluff! It has pretty much everything I love in a Fic, wonderful honest charachters, down to earth dialogue, glowing descriptions, new inventive magical places, and new magic.

I *adored* Lee, I loved Holly (I even sort of felt sorry for Amy, but she deserved it...grrr) Every time Amy showed up to poke her nose back into Lee's buisness I actually *yelled* out loud. Lees parents are marvelous, very real very brave. And "Stacy" *ehehe!* Love her (but as a dressmaker I might be biased *whistle*) Every charachter that made an appearence in this *stayed* in charachter too, no mean feat~

You've taken us to some truly magical places in the underground and the Hebrides, even the new little shoppes and clubs in Diagon Alley, the magical art store and the gesture of purchasing the paints for her.
We also got to see all sorts of delicious new magic, the paints that make the paintings come alive, the new fountain, the remora...ahh it was wonderful!

It may be a story about an ordinary fellow with an open heart as you say, but it was a wonderful, very entertaining, very inventive read! (Also I'd like to ask if I may please crib your soap opera title et all for a minor cameo in my fic, completely credited of course! I couldn't come up with a single good soap name!)

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-09-26
Reviewid: 133245Chapter: 27
More powerful than your previous works. Still excellent. Still funny. I do enjoy your works.

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-09-20
Reviewid: 132888Chapter: 1
I usually read a story from start to finish in one setting and therefore only comment at the end. However, the style of humour you have employed in your writing is making me laugh a lot. Thank you very very much.

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2005-09-18
Reviewid: 132812Chapter: 27
Oh, and I forgot to compliment the Divination skills you showed with the Vanishing Cabinet.

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2005-09-18
Reviewid: 132811Chapter: 27
I had to read the story a second time. It's just such a brilliant work, it's a shame it was invalidated by HBP.

50 names ... even on second reading, I only discovered a few:
St Margarets, Jim McGuffin, MrFlyingFingers, CornedBee, Ylime, hairy_hen and perhaps two others I already forgot again. You don't happen to have a list of who you used and where, do you?

Reviewer: SpringrainDate: 2005-08-23
Reviewid: 130650Chapter: 27
A very enjoyable story. I love the little details, and how some of them have come together in the end. The characters are well-developed and balanced, even the minor ones.

Reviewer: YlimeDate: 2005-08-05
Reviewid: 128922Chapter: 27
*sniff* Deep cuteness. Thank you so much!! That fluffy ending was perfect.

Thank you for including my name! *hugs*

Reviewer: YlimeDate: 2005-08-05
Reviewid: 128920Chapter: 25
... did I just spot my NAME in there?!?! :o

So excited to be reading this again after a long hiatus!! Splendiferous as ever. I love that Lee's s teacher, I never would have seen that coming but it really works, he's right for it.

And they're getting married! Oh, how wonderful! That made me beam.

Yay for your story! Hurrying to read the last couple of chapters now.

Reviewer: The HoundDate: 2005-08-02
Reviewid: 128517Chapter: 13
I just wanted to rave about the sweetest chapter ever -
I think it exemplifies all the fluffily wonderful things this story does so well. I remember updates being stalled for a while here, yet I didn't mind reading it over and over.

Stacy is fun, Stacy and Holly are cute together, and Lee and Holly are as great as always. I just love that parting scene - only the confession in 17 was as emotional.

Also, the (elder) Jordans were particularly nice here. When I thought about it, it was fairly amazing how I'd actually gotten to care about a main character's parents, something I'd never really felt through tons of fics involving the Weasleys (and others). That fish and chips story inspired me to ask how my parents met, something I'd never really gotten around to.

I think that's enough. Believe it or not, I'll be back for a complete (and perhaps less gushy) review.

Reviewer: adfDate: 2005-07-30
Reviewid: 128255Chapter: 26
The plot for this chapter was breathtaking constructed. The way everything melded together. . .
Three cheers for St. Margarets!

Reviewer: VivianaDate: 2005-07-24
Reviewid: 127716Chapter: 27
Oh, my God, I loved it. I found Magic Within, Magic Without by Night Zephyr, I think, and I absolutely adored it. Then I read all of your other stories, and was thoroughly amazed; you kept everyone in character, and I loved it. And with this story, at first, I was a little hesistant to read it because it's Lee Jordan's life, not Ginny's or Harry's, but after the first few chapters, I was hooked! I finished reading it yesterday, and I really loved it. Especially how it tied in with Magic Within, Magic Without.
One question: Are you going to write any other fics soon?

Reviewer: GenesseDate: 2005-07-24
Reviewid: 127715Chapter: 15
How fun it is to see everyone's names in these chapters! I remember how excited Kelleypen was when she came up, but I haven't gotten there yet...

Reviewer: GenesseDate: 2005-07-23
Reviewid: 127677Chapter: 12
I'm catching up!

I thought this chapter was particularly sweet with the memories from their first year at Hogwarts. And how darling is Lee! All in lurve!! And, Yay! Charlie!

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127259Chapter: 27
Erm. Way too much Fluff. :P

Managed to sneak your own name in their didn't you? :D

"Ginny and one other boy, Gryfny Williams" "Gryfny Williams was practicing his dueling stance" "Lee was distracted by Gryfny Williams" "Harry glanced at Gryfny" "and Gryfny's wand discharged" "Gryfny was trying to erase the scorch mark"
LOL It's great to see my name in print. And another entry in the google search engine. :)

It's nice knowing what came out of the Wizengamot session. You stuck loads of connections to Magic Within.

-----"Don't! That's a Corned Bee," Professor Sprout gasped. "They're very rare."-----

This whole story was so amazing. You have such a knack for writing with such beutiful detail. You did an amazing job.

Thanks for the story St Maggs :P,


(And now for HBP :) )

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127258Chapter: 26
You and your Walpurgis', You must really like them! :P

Using the Vanishing Cabinet?! :)

LOL, They should have had Luna in charge of them!

It's a pretty good plan that the Order has and I hope it will work.

Amazing Chapter.

Reviewer: NARDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127238Chapter: 27
I've nearly forgot to review - wonderful story from the beginning to the end. I think you were the one who gave us an excellent guided tour through an important part of Lee's life.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127134Chapter: 25
So Chimmney Sweeping proved useful after all. :)

It's interesting that he found an old tarantula of his, but why didn't he check "the old wardrobe" earlier, just to check if "Trovia" came back?

I like the way Lee uses the Quiz as a teaching tool, and getting the class' interest. Great Job, with Lee as a teacher. This is one job, I hope he stays at.

----"What's in the new, improved Shloz's cough drops"----
adsla;lka;sdf LOL

I like the way you "get rid of Binns" Chairman?! Haa.

The Famous London Fire, From the Wizards? How interesting.

Great Chapter.

Reviewer: AlisonDate: 2005-07-13
Reviewid: 127091Chapter: 27
I'm sad to see it end! Bloody brilliant.

Reviewer: GufaDate: 2005-07-12
Reviewid: 126962Chapter: 27
I've finally finished reading Lee's story (spending my weekend doing that rather than reviewing for my Spanish exam was a good choice!) and I must say that I've rarely cared so much for a fanfiction character. In fact, I'm having a hard time realizing that your Lee isn't "real", in the sense that he's not (presumably) JKR's Lee...But you know, I don't think that matters much, in the long run. You took someone else's rather minor character and built him into a protagonist in his own right, and you did a very good job. I mean, the story itself is exceptionally good and captivating and funny and fun and with the right amount of fluff...but it's the three-dimensionality (is that a word??) that you give all the characters that really makes it all come to life. So thank you for sharing your talent with us - for allowing us to know your Lee and his family and friends, and care about them. And for making McGonagall rock!!!

Reviewer: Eighth WeasleyDate: 2005-07-12
Reviewid: 126952Chapter: 27
I'm just happy to have been mentioned at the end :-D

Glad you finished it, it's been a joy to read durning my very boring work days!

Reviewer: St. Margarets - your friendly author of this storyDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126864Chapter: 27
Marianne Im so glad that you have been reading! There were some problems with Madam Pince for a while, but luckily I was able to get this all posted before HBP! When Im in the middle of something, I dont like to let it go until it is done so thats good for updates although it does mean I dont get to really relax until its all over!

Angelina Weasley Thanks so much for all of your reviews. You know that your name is in the story just with a different last name. Im glad you liked dreadlocked Alexander! I had to cut the scene where Lee, Fred and George had to babysit the little darling. It was fun but it didnt work with the compressed ending I was forced to do. I also wanted to have one last scene with Lee and Angelina but that didnt work either. I thought of them as having a relationship like Harry and Hermione they drive each other up a wall sometimes, but they love each other.

Sara it hasnt been that short of a time, really. I started writing in February but only started posting in April. Five months, almost six months is a long time! LOL and I really needed another month to write the ending I wanted. Oh well next time! Thanks for reading!

Seraphina thanks for reading! Im glad you liked this story and Im glad you liked the teaching part. That was one chapter that should have been three really. I was a high school teacher for ten years so I know my subject matter! LOL. Can you tell I miss it? There is nothing better than teaching for me and I thought Lee would love it as well. (In the early stages of figuring out this story I was just going to make him a writer but hes too outgoing for that.) If HBP will allow, Id love to write a sequel called Lee Jordan: Teacher - catchy isnt it? LOL.

Kelley it cant be the name drop - can it? LOL

Morag Camshron thanks for reading! Im glad you liked Lee as a teacher. I do wonder if JKR will ever find a way to get rid of Binns. Since she was a teacher as well, I think she has some opinions of the faculty she created.

Gryfny the history teacher who taught in the classroom next to me really did have his notes fall apart since he had been doing the same thing for years and years. He was lost without them but it made him change his class a little! LOL. Truth is often stranger than fiction. Thanks for reading!

Jim McGuffin Im so glad you liked this fic. I missed H/G at first, but I loved the freedom of a minor character and I loved writing from the point of view of the ordinary guy who doesnt have a destiny thrust upon him like Harry but has to figure it out all on his own. I dont know which is harder but I do know which is more common. Sigh. I loved that early 20s era of my own life but Im glad I dont have to do it all over again. I hope you found some solace in Lees story as well as some hope. Thanks for all of reviews and being a loyal reviewer I really appreciate it!

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126855Chapter: 27
I apologize for the curtness of my first review at PS. I wrote it at a
time my computer wasn't working perfectly. I've decided that I owe you a
full review.

Ch. 26:
Ahhh, so the title is finally explained. You've mentioned that the title
"Tour Guide" is no longer literal once Lee leaves his first job at the
museum. So now Lee guides Harry on a "tour" of the Underground in order
to foil Voldemort's plan.

So the climatic scene takes place on -- when else -- Walpurgis. I've said
it before that Walpurgis must be your favorite day of the year.

Once again, you remind us of the continuity with MWMW by mentioning Ginny
and her blood link with Voldemort. Also interesting how you brought up
chimney sweeps -- Lee's second job.

It's eerie how this chapter mentions the London Underground and an attack
near Muggle trains, about a week before a terrorist attack takes place in
the London of the real world.

Heliopaths? I remember how Luna mentions the Ministry's private army of
Heliopaths in OotP. The trio generally assumes that Luna is mistaken and
Heliopaths don't exist, but in your fic you decided to make them real. An
interesting idea. It makes sense that Heliopaths would live on fire
(helio-=sun I believe).

Ch. 27
And after a big action scene, you go right back to fluff. The final
wedding scene is here.

Let's see, names you mentioned. I saw DADA Ginny and Gryfny, whom I
recognize from the 'Quill. And of course with so many names, you decide
to include your own name, St. Maggie, as well, here in the last chapter!

Of all the fics you wrote, this one is my favorite. And no, it's not just
because you mentioned my username in it. In this fic you take a
little-known canon character and write a whole story about him. It will
be hard not to read canon or any other fanfic mentioning Lee Jordan and
not think about this story. As many of your other reviewers have
suggested, you've basically defined Lee Jordan by this fic. Whenever I
read Lee Jordan I'll always imagine him to be the hapa Tour Guide/Chimney
Sweep/Broom Salesman/Announcer/History Teacher/Tour Guide, no matter
what. And like Lee, I am also at a crossroads in my own life, and
somethings I wonder whether I'll ever be able to find my own niche in
life, just like Lee.

Hmmm, I need to give the final score on the RLS fluff scale. This one's
hard to grade. I'll give it a three, since, like in all of your
full-length fics, the fluff is not the focus of the story as much as it
is about Lee's coming of age story.

And now you can finally take a break from writing, relax, and get ready
for HBP. And I hope your brother is all right!

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126802Chapter: 24
---"He's used the same notes for decades and they are falling apart..."---
His notes falling apart! LOL

I'm happy that Lee's getting this position, which I'm sure he'll really enjoy, finally a real teacher for "History of Magic", I'm sure he'll be brilliant.

Nice Chapter.

Reviewer: hawonDate: 2005-07-10
Reviewid: 126715Chapter: 27
This is the first fanfic for which I'm ever writing a review, although I've been going through a lot (probably too much). I love the way you depict Lee, as well as all the other canon/non-canon characters. The way you have given so much more texture and details to the magic world is astounding--also I adore the way that you have interspersed characters that we've only heard about once or twice in JK's work. Great work; love to read more from you--also maybe we'll find out more about that underground lake in HBP!

Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2005-07-10
Reviewid: 126712Chapter: 27
"Lee felt sorry for him with a name like that." LOL! Thank you *blushes*.
Luverly Fluff!
An exciting excursion into HP adventureland - and great to get that followup on the patronus kiss and all that went with it too.
I'd never guessed that you has a teacher's slot lined up for Lee - I thought he was going to make it as a writer only - but what better position from which to write that of teacher! And you're absolutely right; Lee (as you've written him) is the perfect teacher to make up for Prof Binn's 'idiosyncracys'.
I'll be sorry to have no more updates on my favourite chimney sweep, but thank you so much for such an imaginative tour through the wizarding world.

Reviewer: KaylaDate: 2005-07-10
Reviewid: 126684Chapter: 27
This was so lovely. As usual, you cut it off just when it was getting to the good stuff, but that's how all good stories are, right? One question though, what about all those signs of fertility? I was sure those were adding up to something.

Reviewer: rinaDate: 2005-07-10
Reviewid: 126681Chapter: 27
Awww! What a beautiful ending to a beautiful story! I loved it! Fabulouse!!!! Thank you and good night!

Reviewer: Darker_RageDate: 2005-07-09
Reviewid: 126670Chapter: 27
That was incredible, as always. Just the couple of minor slipups (math = maths, little things like that) that did absolutely nothing to marr a brilliantly written and wonderfully warm and fluffy story.

I adore how you have taken the idea that "yes, Lee is a wizard, but hey; he's a normal guy too" theme and worked it so skillfully into this ... well, the fact that I can't find words to describe it as a whole should tell you what I think of it!

I wish to apologise for not reviewing every chapter as I would have liked to do. I've been working flat-out, first on my degree then just plain old work (for the holidays) and so have been doing most of my reading at 2-3AM. I make a point of reading everything new that is posted (that isn't Marauders) and I delight in leaving this to last - the skill of the writing is such that it is a delayed delight.

I hope that you either have an idea for the next one mapped out (pending HBP of course) or are seriously considering writing novels. If they read like this, I'd buy them :P

All the best!


Reviewer: Morag CamshronDate: 2005-07-09
Reviewid: 126665Chapter: 27
Youve done an excellent job portraying and fleshing out a little thought of, underdeveloped character. I like the idea of Lee teaching History of Magic maybe Hogwarts students will actually enjoy and appreciate this subject now! Did I mention that Lee and Holly are absolutely adorable together?

I cant wait to see what you write next!

- Morag Camshron

Reviewer: KelleyDate: 2005-07-09
Reviewid: 126644Chapter: 23
This really is a brilliant chapter--I had to come back and read it again because it makes me so happy.

Reviewer: SeraphinaDate: 2005-07-09
Reviewid: 126637Chapter: 25
Poor William Gates the fourth, getting kidnaped by goblins and all... Apparently he repented after his release and donated a considerable sum of money to the research departement at St. Mungo's Hospital and other institutions. ;-)

Seriously, I liked your story very much, St. Margarets! How we got to witness Lee's personal and professional development. I especially love how you've described Lee's interest in history: his excitement when he discovers new information and his immersion into other times. And above all, his ability to arouse interest in the students for that lively and enriching subject!

I hope we'll hear more from Holly and Lee Jordan in the future. :-)
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us!

Reviewer: SaraDate: 2005-07-09
Reviewid: 126635Chapter: 24
you are incredible - how can you write so great a story in so short a time? I adore the Lee Jordan universe! And Holly of course...

Reviewer: Angelina WeasleyDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126599Chapter: 27
Wow. It's done!
And it's amazing.
I wasn't able to review all of the parts that I thought were hilarious, or all the parts I thought were touching, but in my last review, I'll say this:
Thank you.
St. Margarets, thank you for laughter and tears and fear and hope and love. Thank you for a brilliant story. Thank you for hours upon hours of entertainment. Thank you for Dreadlocked!Alexander.
Thank you for a look into the life of Lee Jordan, Tour Guide.
-Angelina Weasley

Reviewer: MarianneDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126577Chapter: 27
I've been reading this one since you posted the first chapter - and eagerly awaited each subsiquent one. I propably would have gone crazy if you took as long as most writers need (Including, bless her, JKR herself!). I've thouroughly enjoyed your characterisation of Lee, as well as the humour you mixed into the story. This is a wonderful and unique piece. I hope you keep writing after HBP. Thanks so much for entertaining while we wait for book six!

Reviewer: Rina]Date: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126571Chapter: 26
Wow. This just keeps getting better and better!

Reviewer: KateHCDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126558Chapter: 27
St Margaret, you have done it again... I loved learning more about Lee and his family and his Holly. What a rich story with the right amount of FLUFF!

Reviewer: TroviaDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126556Chapter: 25
<<It was miserable work and not at all what he envisioned doing as a member of the staff, but one thing made it all worthwhile - he had found Trovia again.>>


He found *me*!! I'm delighted *beams*.

Okay, and a bit frightend, now. You aren't a legilimens, aren't you? You know, there's a tattoo on my shoulder. A tattoo of a tarantula. Really.

However, wonderful chapters as always. I love how you through in little details and then repeat them: the hangover potion and the "I'm not a teacher" bit, lately. It's what makes the story as round and logical in itself, as a good story is supposed to be.

Gladly, I've two more chapters to read yet.

Reviewer: St. Margarets - your friendly author of this storyDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126542Chapter: 27
Siorsa -Thanks for your review! I'm glad the story come together for you - and I agree it was rushed since I wrote the last three chapters in a week. I totally ran out of time and I had to cut and condense and distill what I had originally planned.

Hee - outline. NO - I just write toward scenes I have in mind. From the get go, I had the Underground rescue in mind - and the map - and the proposal - and the wedding dance. But lots of things were surprises like Eppie and Stacy. What is it with Lee and older Scotish women? LOL.

Mirlda - there just aren't any Lee Jordan stories to read! I thought I'd rememdy that! I'm just glad you were interested in this one. Thanks for reading.

Michael G - Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Michael GDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126529Chapter: 27
absolutely wonderful

Reviewer: MirldaDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126518Chapter: 27
I don't think I've ever read a Lee story before this one. It was great! I'm so sorry it's over. Holly became so real I almost forgot she wasn't canon. And I love how you incoporated your last story with Ginny into this story. Great job! Keep writing!

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126487Chapter: 27
Rare indeed. And a rare specimen of story, too. Exceptionally good.

But you know, how hard can it possibly be to weave "Marry A Weasley" into the story?

Reviewer: MrFlyingFingersDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126481Chapter: 25
Nice way to tie in your other stories! And I rather like the various interactions with the Trio Plus. But where's Neville? And Seamus? And Dean? And, most importantly, PARVATI? Ack!


Good stuff, St. M. Good stuff.

Reviewer: SiorsaDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126479Chapter: 27
Wow! I can't believe just how beautifully this all went together - let me guess, you use out-lines?? The end did feel a tad rushed with the action in London and all, but was still brilliant! I absolutely loved this "day in the life" sort-of story. And how you worked-in all the details scattered through-out - pure magic!!

Thanks for sharing!

Reviewer: MrFlyingFingersDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126478Chapter: 24
"How much is enough?" Lee asked, wondering if Fred could put a number on when you were ready to get married.

Fred shifted uncomfortably and didn't say anything.

"I didn't think you could put a number on it," Lee said. "Look, you two. Holly and I aren't running a business on one of the most expensive streets in London. We don't need a lot of money to live the way we want to."

HEAR! HEAR! *pounds on table*

Reviewer: MrFlyingFingersDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126475Chapter: 23
"I knew it!" She turned. "What a complete waste of time! I could have boiled that chicken and you would have been just as happy."

Lee had to agree he would have been happier and his mouth wouldn't have been burning for days. "Yeah."

"Um, hello, Lee? Yes, this is the ManTact School of Etiquette. You've been selected as the recipient of a six month scholarship..."



Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126466Chapter: 27
Awww. That was so lovely! I loved- well- I loved it all. I'm so going to miss reading this. Here's hoping Holly and Lee are really happy together ( and Ginny and Harry, of course)- and that Myron and Amy really learn to appreciate each others *good* points- *evil laugh*. And, of course, that HBP inspires you to write even more wonderful stories.

Reviewer: LauraDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126464Chapter: 27
Loved this fic. I'm so glad that Lee Jordan got a chance to prove himself - he's always been one of my favourite smaller characters, but I've never dared write him. This story is well-written and well-paced, and suitably fluffy, and Holly Kirke is a lovely character (she is original, isn't she?) So: well done! I'm sorry it's over!

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126463Chapter: 26
And now the title tour guide takes on a whole new meaning.....

I liked the interaction with Lee and Harry down in the Underground and the way Ginny went straight after Harry before anyone noticed- I wonder what exactly happened with those two? ( even in fanon an adventure free year is too much to ask..)

<Just doing his job, Lee thought. Dad was just doing his job. Chimney sweeps and binmen just did their jobs everyday, and finally, someone noticed.>

I loved this quote- having been watching the news all day about the attacks in London and the wonderful way in which the emergency services and railway staff responded, this quote takes on a whole new meaning for me- it's the people we take for granted, doing "menial" jobs that are the real heroes sometimes.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126456Chapter: 25
Lee is so cute as a teacher! He's really good at it. I loved his inspired by Lockhart quiz, and his round about way of making the fact interesting. And catching up on Ginny was fun too- I hope she and Harry won't have a need to call on Lee this year. They deserve a happy time if only in fanon :(

<Lee thought of Umbridge's punishment quill and how he had the words "I am not the teacher" carved into the top of his hand. Then he laughed out loud. This had to be the best revenge of all. Yes, it had finally sunk in. "I am the teacher," he said. >

I loved this quote, it made me want to cheer. Way to go Lee!

P.S I'm flattered you found my forum name interesting- it's a privilidge to have my name cameo'd in a St Margaret's story :)

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126446Chapter: 24
<"Oh!" Mrs. Fraser cried, bouncing on her chair in excitement. She whipped a small notebook out of her bag and flipped a few pages. "She was two-to-one odds."

Lee's mouth dropped open. Mrs. Fraser had been betting on the identity of his True Love?>
LOL! I adore Eppie. The image of she and McGonagall painting Diagon Alley red had me is stitches. And the conversation with Fred and George was hilarious. "Nuptials", heh.

I think my favourite part of this was the description of Holly's painting through- that was just beautiful.

Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126443Chapter: 27
"She did. June the twentieth is the full moon, so that day is out if you want Jill to be your flower girl. And Fred and George would have to close the shop if we had it on a Saturday, so Mrs. Fraser thought that Tuesday, June the tenth would be the most auspicious day since six plus one is seven and that is the holiday honoring St. Margaret, Queen of Scotland."

Well, I'll have to address the 'Queen of Scotland' differently now! LOL!

Oh, St. Margarets. You will never cease to amaze me with all this wholesome fluff! Thanks so much for gracing us with it!

*tips hat*
Until next time,

Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126440Chapter: 26
Lee froze. They were marching like soldiers. "Heliopaths," he gasped. "This is the army of flame. The Ministry has Heliopaths."

The legend claimed that this was the most deadly form of fire - to both Muggle and Wizard. No protective charms worked against the flames.

2.)I almost cried when I thought that his dad died...
3.)Of course you couldn't kill Harry and Ginny! I thought for a minute that you did, and then I was like, 'Um, no...that wouldn't be flufftastic, now would it?

Aww! One more chapter left? That's so sad!


Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126433Chapter: 25
But...but...yay!I'm so glad you incorporated 'Magic Within, Magic Without' in this one! It ties it all together! Yay for H/G fluff!


Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126422Chapter: 24
"Just for tonight," Lee explained. "Besides these toasts are good luck for my upcoming nuptials."

Fred and George found that word very funny. "Nuptials!" The both trilled together.

"You best have someone look at those, Lee."

"Could be a problem later on when you're planning a family."

"I think Laura, who is a fully qualified Healer, should look at Lee's nuptials."

"I will not allow Laura to look at Lee's nuptials," George said, sounding uncannily like Percy.

I love it! So fluffy and enjoyable! I was laughing almost the entire time during the engagement!


Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126392Chapter: 23
That was sweet and satisfying - this coming from a bloke who likes two and a half sugars in strong coffee!
I was a little surprised by the apparent about face in 'the rules' in the previous chapter - please blame that on blokishness which automatically assumes that nakedness in bed = sex (as in intercourse - I don't think you can convince me that what you wrote wasn't sex!). Somewhat relieved to see in this chapter that it aint necessarily so, but it does stretch credulity more than a little!
That was a cool proposal. Well writ. Very believable, and in character. A lovely first result from their first collaboration.
The Jordon history was interesting, but even better was the way you turned it into Lee's reflections on himself.
You continue to evoke the atmosphere of the moor beautifully, especially through Holly's artist's eye.
Good well-stitched stuff that makes the fluff more interesting, realistic and enjoyable.
More? Please?

Reviewer: St. Margarets, your friendly author of this storyDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126335Chapter: 23
Im so behind! I havent responded to all of your kind reviews in a while. I have been reading them and I appreciate all of your thoughts.

Becky Lee with McGonagall is so canon, of course one of the reasons I chose to write about him. If McGonagall likes him, then he must have something more to him.

Tasha thanks so much for reading. I figured that someone as outgoing and fun as Lee must have nice parents. They were a lot of fun to think about. Thanks for reading.

Trovia that balance has been the most difficult part of writing this story. I knew it would be a big story, since Lee knows so many people and I had planned a few changes of jobs but I never dreamed it would get this complicated. Wish me luck pulling all the threads together!

RINA thanks for reading. Im glad youre enjoying it!

Riri- Im afraid this story will no longer canon after HBP which is why Im trying my best to finish this by then. Thanks for reading!

Seaspray thank you for all of your reviews. You have been so faithful reviewing and your forum name intrigued me so you have also landed a spot in this story! Yes Myron - hes bad news for Holly. And of course Lee took care of her hes that sort of person. And since we dont like either Amy or Myron I thought it would be good to put them together! Im glad you liked Chapter 23. Chapter 24 is my favorite I think its tons of fun.

ArdieBea_ Hermione should get her jar out for Rita again! Youre right.

Gryfny How could I not put you in this story when you have been such a faithful reviewer? LOL. You have quite the Defense skills! I know it wasnt quite as show stopping as MFFs debut, though. And youre right about Lee and isolation hes a people person. The Quidditch was a lot of fun to write and think about. Especially since we dont have to worry who wins or loses.

Ylime, Thanks so much for reading! I know you are busy writing too. I hope to get some fanfiction reading done this week now that Im finally finished with this story!

Rachel Thanks so much for reading this story and all of my musings on the symbolism thread! Im glad the characters are believable that I think - is what makes the fluff work. Im glad you were surprised by the proposal. Lee is an impulsive sort so it seemed fitting he would come up with something like that.

Angelina Weasley Im glad you liked these fluffy chapters! I loved writing them.

Eighth Weasley Youll be happy to know that the story is written and is just waiting to be uploaded. Love your forum name!

Angel Street dont worry about the nit-picking! I think I copied it wrong!

Mr. Flying Fingers thank you for your numerous reviews! You have really made my day. Im glad the shop like a man sentence rang true. So many female readers have commented on that one! Im glad you like the humor coming from a funny guy like you that is a compliment! And of course the wonderful, paranoia and angst of the writers life even Lee isnt immune! And Ron should soooo be Captain!

NAR thanks for all of your reviews! I threw the trust thing in there to change the dynamic from the run of the mill angst-and-storm type story. I really think trust is vital to a lasting relationship romantic or friends. And of course I put you in my story youve always have been so supportive! And how smart are you to guess a proposal was coming!

Katie thanks for all of your reviews in a row no less. I think thats what intrigued me about Lee in the first place was how much McGonagall seemed to like him. If you have her seal of approval you must be okay. Now just change Katie Bells name to Holly and youll do just fine with this story! And I so wanted to get back at Umbridge in a fitting way! Its all written dont worry its just a matter of getting it uploaded.

Corned Bee thank you so much for your words of encouragement. Description has been something Ive struggled with all along so Im glad to know Im finally hitting the right balance. I think taking a character away from Hogwarts forced me to do more in depth thinking and therefore, my writing became more descriptive. This story has been a grand experiment believe me. I struggle with the commas and the typos really. I think Im better at spotting errors but I have a way to go! Thanks for reading!

Sonic Im trying to leave the er erotic to the imagination of my readers! LOL. Its awesome what good imaginations you all have!

Sara thanks for reading! Im hoping to have all of it up here in the next few days!

Be Im glad you liked the proposal! Ive been writing toward that scene since the first chapter!

Beck thanks for reading! I love my fluff!

Deborah Peters! Thanks for reading! Fred and George ask the very same question in the next chapter. I think getting married is just one of those things you take the plunge or you dont. And yes, theyre young!

Reviewer: NARDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126321Chapter: 23
"Dear Mr. Jordan and Ms. Kirke,"

At this point I knew that Lee will ask that question. I think it tells all about how well you described these characters to your readers.

Reviewer: Deborah PetersDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126261Chapter: 23
Hooray! I don't mind confessing that I cried a little. The only question in my mind is--aren't they a little young for marriage? (I only say this because I'm the same age as these characters, and...) Of course, I understand that they've had to mature a little faster in the Wizarding world, so it's still believeable. And a lovely story.

Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126256Chapter: 23
Perfect! Perfect, perfect, perfect! This story truly ties together the essence of Holly and Lee...making the proposal...well...perfect! Hurry up and write the next chapter!


Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126246Chapter: 23
I think this chapter has just about made my day.
<"Holly." His heart was beating so rapidly, he thought she must have heard it too, but she only looked curiously at his serious face. "If your last name was Jordan then it still would be alphabetical order and you would always be first.">

Awwww *does the happy dance*. This is even better than when they got together. They're getting married! Yay! And their book is getting published!

The backstory with Jordan's shipping was intruiguing- I wonder if Lee will ever get to meet his grandfather and what he will be like if he does.

Reviewer: SaraDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126243Chapter: 23

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126211Chapter: 23
----"I saw Kelley today in Diagon Alley. She's married now."


"To Mr. Pen."----
<grin>LOL, Kellypen, just told me about my cameo in chapter twenty-seven, I did speed read through that part, but I'm going to wait till it's up over here. Although even just reading that put a big grin on my face. Thank You!

Yay! We finally got to hear about "Jordan Shipping". So does Lee's grandfather still own it? Just the cousin helps run it?

I'm glad "Jokes for the young and young at heart" is going to get published. (In Sanction's latest chapter, he wrote a bunch of excellent wizarding jokes, I put in a few of them in the favorite quote's thread.)

Great Chapter.

Reviewer: RachelDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126185Chapter: 23
Oh my goodness! That was an unexpected and exciting ending to the chapter. They're just so right for each other--I guess I'm just surprised Lee realized it so soon. Good for him!

Reviewer: BeDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126177Chapter: 23
Oh. My. Goodness. That was really unexpected, both the Jordan Shipping twist and the proposal. I seem to be reading quite a few proposals today in fact... *sigh* Wonderful story, your writing is magnificent.

Reviewer: NARDate: 2005-07-03
Reviewid: 125960Chapter: 20
A Kneazle hissed from a covered basket at a barking Crup. "Quiet, NAR!"

Wow, I got famous :-) I really like the concept of Lee putting Holly on a pedestal, then her seduction attempt to climb down. It's a little strange, but I can relate to it.

Reviewer: beckDate: 2005-07-01
Reviewid: 125805Chapter: 22
what an adorable chapter i loved they way you ended it. "This is a very soft landing" that was so sweet cant wait for the next chapters =) keep up the great work

Reviewer: Angel StreetDate: 2005-06-30
Reviewid: 125691Chapter: 22
oooh! finally, lol.

so sweet. so wonderful. i think i may see an end in sight!!!

Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-06-30
Reviewid: 125661Chapter: 22
I was totally smirking the whole bloody time! And fluff...St. Margarets! Fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff, and more fluff! Oh, is becoming part of the ever-thickening plot. Oh my yes! How perfect, though!



Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-06-29
Reviewid: 125646Chapter: 21
St. Margarets, you are the culprit of a VERY thick plot! chapter here I come!


Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-06-29
Reviewid: 125577Chapter: 22
I hope we get to know what the thing with the coins are. I can't imagine you introducing a plot point like that and not letting us know...

I'm happy that Lee enjoys Midnight Quidditch. I really like the idea behind it...

---"Only the Cannons could have failed to score without a Keeper on the opposing team."--- LOL, I love reading Quidditch games even if they aren't very good ones.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-06-29
Reviewid: 125576Chapter: 21
I'm happy Mcgonagall was there, I'm sure he needs all the support he can have. I'm also not at all surprised by the kind of friends she has, Mcgonagall has a little fun streak in her. Even if Mcgonagall berated her for it. :)

No wonder why they had to go into hiding, they stumbled on a big operation there.

I'm glad that Lee's "map" may help...

Great Chapter.

Reviewer: BeDate: 2005-06-29
Reviewid: 125549Chapter: 22
oh, this is beautiful... Just extraordinarily beautiful. Thanks for sharing it with us!

Reviewer: saraDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125510Chapter: 22
thanks for this awesome story, I've liked every chapter and how the plot develops (not only the cutely drawn Lee-and-Holly-part) - I hope you won't finish soon! It's amazing how you portrait Lee starting from the information JKR has given. And btw: I enjoy reading your fic because your style of writing is among the best here on the quill.

Reviewer: RinaDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125509Chapter: 21
Wow. V. Good! Everything is starting to fit together. V. Interesting... Cant wait to see what happens.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125475Chapter: 22
Wonderful chapter! I like how you show them both coming through their insecurities and Holly "seducing" Lee- that was such a cute scene! I can't wait to read more of this.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125474Chapter: 21
<"What else have they been making?" Lee asked.

"Seaweed crisps," Mrs. Fraser answered. "They cost practically nothing to make when you have workers who can easily pick the seaweed.">

Hmm- maybe not my favourite them :).

I liked the meassages Lee's mother gave him about change and keeping an open hand- very wise- I hope she and her husband are both alright. I really enjoyed the Quidditch match too, and professor McGonagall turning up, and betting mad Eppie- lovely chapter!

Reviewer: MrFlyingFingersDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125461Chapter: 22
Oh. My.

(Is it warm in here?)

Erm, yes. Nicely done. I rather liked the Midnight Quidditch scene. Brothers interacting and all. Yes. Right.

(fade to black)

Reviewer: SonicDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125452Chapter: 22
Hah!... the erotic stories of Lee Jordan. Hot blooded young pups... ;)

Reviewer: MrFlyingFingersDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125426Chapter: 20
"She shivered as he was nuzzled her neck. "Short of waiting for the next Quidditch match for you to announce, I thought I'd seize my chance."

ACK. PDS! However, very cute scenes. You've got the interactions down, it's very hem...yes...y'know.


"It seemed that Mrs. Weasley knew all about Andrew's reserve status because Ron was the Captain this year."

Ah, another candidate for the Ron for Captain Marching Auxilary! Hear! Hear!


"Mrs. Weasley snorted. "I can't wait until either one of you has children."

"Why, Mum," George said, "Is that a blessing or a curse?"

Mrs. Weasley grinned mischievously. "I'll leave that up for you two to decide."

Has every parent said this or what? I'm planning on using it.


"That's right boring then," Lee said, laughing. "The public deserves to know about the announcer's affections." Holly's eyes sparkled back at him.

Lee, you shameless flirt.


"Jill wanted to know if Father Christmas would come if she was a werewolf tonight."

Gold. This has been a very interesting and dramatic thread throughout the story. It has added depth to Holly's character.


"Look who dropped in," his father remarked when he opened the door.



Ack! Sad Ending!

It's getting interesting now that the stuff that's been simmering for these first chapters is coming to a boil--with toil and trouble and all that. Marvelous chapter, the contrasts of the Happy Christmas with a tearing farewell.

Reviewer: MrFlyingFingersDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125421Chapter: 19
"Holly talked him out of applying for the job of impersonating Father Christmas because his voice was too distinctive, and what if he caused a child to lose their belief?"

WHAT? You MEAN...? *cries*

"It was just the usual Ministry threat demotion to the Centaur Liason office."

HA! Take that Umbridge.


"You're skipping dessert," he said a bit desperately.

She plopped herself on his lap and giggled. "No, I'm not."


"Let's collaborate on . . . " He could feel her breath tickling the corner of his mouth. "Other things."


PDS ALERT (PDS == Public Display of Snogging) Whoa, when you pull out the stops, you pull out the stops. Yikes! Man, you had me smirking the whole time. Hem hem, yes. How 'bout dem Bums?

And nicely done bit with Lee's writing and Holly's reviews. If you haven't neatly summed up the fanfic author's life, then I don't know what you've done.

In all, a nicely done chapter, soup to nuts. Romance was in place and smooth sailing, allowing for development of the subplots. It was also nice to see how Lee and Holly partner together with the fountain design.

Reviewer: MrFlyingFingersDate: 2005-06-27
Reviewid: 125391Chapter: 18
FLUFF AHOY! Very nicely done. Your portrayal of young love is nice, smiley, feel good stuff. The second dance in the shadows was very...hem...sweet. Clearly, we've not heard the last of Minos Smith!

I liked how you drew George and Percy as brothers, similar in certain respects. I also liked "George grinned and Lee knew that was all he would ever have to say to George about Holly...". It's the manly way of doing things.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-06-27
Reviewid: 125355Chapter: 20
I wonder what Fred and George were doing down in the underground for the order...

I'm glad that Lee got the job, but I can't imagine that Lee would agree to stay in an isolated place more than one season. My guess is that he'll give up the job. Is he allowed to leave at any times? Though from what you write, that he has week ends free, does that mean he can leave exmoor, or he can get visitors?

I wonder how Lee, will do, without his parents around? Did their dicision have anything to do with what Fred and George found in the underground that time?

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125287Chapter: 20
Oh, poor Lee- that is harsh. Still, at least his parents will be safe. At least I hope so- being in hiding didn't do all that much good for Lily and James. The part about that werewolf girl made me want to cry too- what a terrible thing to happen to a child. This was a wonderful chapter, although somewhat tinted with sadness- I can't wait to find out how Lee find Exmoor.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125286Chapter: 19
Nice chapter! I feel sorry for Lee's dad though- that's a tough sacrifice to make. I wonder if Lee will join the Order at all? I felt a lot of sympathy for Lee handing his article over to be read- beta readers can be scary sometimes :).

<"A reminder that no party is complete without the pungent, briny taste of Seaspray Seaweed Crisps.">

My favourite!;)

<Tim Tremlett looked puzzled. "I was surprised at how well it worked in this case," he admitted. "It was just the usual Ministry threat demotion to the Centaur Liason office.">

LOL! Umbridge forced to spend her days in discussion with Centaurs.... wouldn't that be a fitting punishment? *evil cackle *

Reviewer: Angelina WeasleyDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125284Chapter: 20
Oh no! This last chapter is really sad. Poor Lee. This last scene with Holly and the owl made me cry.
But... write more! I can't wait to see what happens.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125283Chapter: 18
Aww, I loved this chapter. Lee and Holly make such a lovely couple and you write their interactions to beautifully it gives me goosepimples
<He touched the holly in her hair, the holly that shows itself in the darkest time of the year. >
That's so... wonderful. Such a lovely image of Holly and Lee's relationship. And I loved the insights into George and Laura and Percy and Penelope's relationship. I think having a healer for a GF might be good for George- someone who has health and safety in mind might be good for Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. I guess I'll have to see how that relationship turns out.

Myron is annoying me exceedingly. I shall have to be vindictive and say I hope that he and Amy are exceedingly miserable together.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125259Chapter: 19
Lee's father "appearing" in front of the Wizengamot is a sacrifice, but to me at least it does seem like a very good idea. Besides for showing that he doesn't have the ear of people in power, it will also make people in power think twice before listning to his accusations. Which is what the Death Eaters would want.

I'm glad that Lee probally has the job, but it's such a bad time for Jim to be hospitilised. I like the way you made that announcer Jim's son. And it's nice that the old people in Lee's neighberhood are taking care of Jim.

HeeHee, Umbridge in the Squib office. And the joke about the Centaur, also very funny. Is it in FBAWTFT, do they mention about the "existence" of the Centaur office?

It's nice that Lee gave her some idea's to add to the fountain...

It's nice that Lee's recieving feedback on his article...

Great Chapter.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125257Chapter: 18
This Minos Smith is starting to seem like an interesting guy. But why does he hold so much power that because of him they won't investigate a dementory attack?

Nice Chapter.

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125220Chapter: 20
Well, with this story you have firmly settled at the very top of my favourite authors list.

It's quite incredible. Actually, I think your talents are terribly wasted in the area of fan fiction. I love so many things about this story. How the many tiny plots interweave, how you put the tiny references to the Quill in there - the comment about Mister Flying Fingers had me rolling on the floor, gasping for breath, for a whole minute.

But I suppose the best part of your writing are your descriptions, something I'll probably never manage. Because when I'm writing, I rarely describe anything. Description are an afterthought, and it's usually noticeable.
Whether your description are an afterthought or come naturally (I guess it's the latter), however, they feel natural and vivid. It's so extremely easy to imagine the scenes based on your writing, to feel what the characters are feeling, to hear what they're saying. It's a talent few people have - Rowling foremost among them, from the people I know.
Other favourite authors of mine don't have that skill. Tom Clancy, for example, doesn't. Neither does Robert Jordan. In the fan fiction area, Night Zephyr, whose Species is probably one of the most fascinating mysteries in the fandom - the most fascinating I know, anyway - doesn't really have that. Their books and stories make excellent stories, but they remain the written word. With your work, the writing fades and it becomes a fantasy show.

Which didn't prevent me from noticing the odd missing comma or quote. That's just the way I am.

Reviewer: Angel StreetDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125212Chapter: 20
OMG. So wonderful. So sweet. So perfect. So Lee!

I need more!!!!!!!

Special subtle laugh: The Centaur Liason office. A perfect touch.


Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125182Chapter: 19
The plot thickens, hotter romance, and more politics...what's not to love?


Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125181Chapter: 18
So romantic and heavenly, yet this chapter was tied together with your own artistic flair...way to go, St. Margarets!


Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125090Chapter: 20
And btw, This is great storytelling. Keep it up!

Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125088Chapter: 20
Story-line hotting up a bit here. What are the twins discovering in the underground? Where will the Jordan's turn up next? Will Holly find equanimity in her work? Will Lee find danger in his? Thank goodness they've found each other!!

Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-06-24
Reviewid: 125050Chapter: 17


Finally! I was wondering when! Awww...very Lee-ish. I'm starting to love Holly (though I still secretly think that Lee+Katie and Fred+Angelina and Alicia+George). But, the story is excellent (so far? is there more?)! Can't wait to see the next chapter! Update soon!


Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-06-24
Reviewid: 125048Chapter: 16
I'm starting to understand this. Lee isn't going to tell Holly anything until the last chapter...ah...I'm smart like that...


Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-06-24
Reviewid: 125047Chapter: 15
Yay! I mean, there was no doubt in my mind that Lee wouldn't get the job, but I liked how you put it. Making him himself after hearing giggling girls...I can't wait to read the next chapter...


Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-06-24
Reviewid: 125008Chapter: 14
I love how Lee and Minervra have that really cool bond that only comes because Lee is just...pure Lee. And that makes this chapter perfect.


Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-06-23
Reviewid: 124968Chapter: 13
Oh! So bloody close to a kiss and you just HAD to ruin it? Lol.

Next chapter here I come...


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