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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 63

Reviewer: Hpgirl42095Date: 2006-04-18
Reviewid: 142045Chapter: 1
Hahahaha! I love the last line! THat's hilarious!

Reviewer: EmerikaDate: 2006-01-15
Reviewid: 138555Chapter: 1
second time reading this and i STILL can't stop laughing all the way through!

"Seriously though, whats an ovary?" OmG! I love Ron!

Reviewer: EmerikaDate: 2005-12-23
Reviewid: 137626Chapter: 1
Ron- What's an ovary?


Lol! that was so effing hilarious!

Reviewer: LadyKatDate: 2005-12-11
Reviewid: 136998Chapter: 1
I love you! You're the funniest fanfic writer I've ever had the pleasure to come across. Brilliance, really.

Reviewer: hey there delilahDate: 2005-12-05
Reviewid: 136771Chapter: 1
Marry me.

Reviewer: KateDate: 2005-10-17
Reviewid: 134634Chapter: 1
Nice... This one was fabulous, too. ^^

Reviewer: emjayDate: 2005-10-01
Reviewid: 133557Chapter: 1
oh my god.
this is ...
oh my god.
what i repeat, WHAT was with all the ovary crap?!
thats just...
oh my god.

Reviewer: AmbereenDate: 2005-09-20
Reviewid: 132910Chapter: 1
Genius as usual. I still love you.

Although I should make you aware that I intend to sue you should I rupture my spleen or any other internal organ when laughing during the reading of any of your work.

Reviewer: CathyDate: 2005-08-26
Reviewid: 130932Chapter: 1
You freakin rule!!!! Please, write more soon!!!

Reviewer: QDate: 2005-08-22
Reviewid: 130562Chapter: 1
'You're a pile of ovary-tickling delight.'" An odd look crossed his face. "What's an ovary?"

"I'll tell you when you're older, Ron," said Hermione.


Colin and Miranda Gardner. Fanon in action... a few typos and one sentence didn't make sense. Look out for those - even the best beta readers can sometimes miss small mistakes like those.


Reviewer: seastones88Date: 2005-08-22
Reviewid: 130546Chapter: 1
I don't know if I have reviewed for this before, but I absolutely can't get enough of your story! And I love the first two paragraphs!

Just had to share my appreciation!


Lover of Literature,

Reviewer: KarriDate: 2005-08-13
Reviewid: 129791Chapter: 1
AHH!!! You are way to good!! Tonks and Lupin indeed!!!

Reviewer: myronDate: 2005-07-22
Reviewid: 127625Chapter: 1

Reviewer: GyakutennoDate: 2005-06-29
Reviewid: 125562Chapter: 1
XD Your disclaimer killed me right off the bat! Don't be so HORRIBLE, Jack! And you're one of the only people who can use a phrase like "that's neither here nor there" and actually pull it off. And I'm never going to be able to keep a straight face about Dumbledore again! And of course, Shakespeare's rolling in his grave because he wishes he'd written this before you. It's actually quite like a Shakespearean comedy. With the misunderstanding and all. Oh, yeah, Lupin and Tonks make a peculiar couple because if they ever had a kid, the poor thing would have an awful identity crisis! Although it would be overwhelmingly agreeable... AND THE OVARIES STUFF CREEPS ME OUT! XP

Reviewer: Eliza M.Date: 2005-05-31
Reviewid: 123102Chapter: 1
Oh Jack, you make me giggle like an idiot and I love you for it. "Stay away from my sister's ovaries, you!"

BEST LINE EVER!!! *processed to build a shrine to the Powerful Jack*

Reviewer: StetchnikDate: 2005-05-14
Reviewid: 122085Chapter: 1
That was fun! Sorta out of character, of course, but that was half the enjoyment lol.

Reviewer: seamusisevilDate: 2005-05-08
Reviewid: 121593Chapter: 1
you are by far the most talented writer of parody story's on this or any other site the only fault i have with your work is that its not novel leanth keep up the good work
my favorite line in any of your stories is (mullet mullet look at the mullet) cracks me up every time i read it

Reviewer: mother gooseDate: 2005-05-04
Reviewid: 121354Chapter: 1
Your stories are always the perfect thing to cheer me up, and this story was no exception. In this story, Ron was perfect.

Reviewer: Delleve MiststoneDate: 2005-04-24
Reviewid: 120493Chapter: 1
I will never think of ovaries the same way ever again.

...This could become slightly awkward.

Absolutely hilarious.

Reviewer: CatDate: 2005-04-22
Reviewid: 120320Chapter: 1
Jack, I love you. Hard.

Reviewer: KaseyDate: 2005-04-22
Reviewid: 120291Chapter: 1
My parents are watching a movie and I'm going to explode if I don't laugh soon...

Reviewer: kajalDate: 2005-04-19
Reviewid: 119958Chapter: 1
OVARIES !!!!!!! :D :D

Reviewer: Hannah MarderDate: 2005-04-18
Reviewid: 119863Chapter: 1
That was very funny (and congratulations on the repeated use of the word 'ovaries'). I liked the idea of Colin falling in love with a girl that looks just like Harry, it's suitably creepy! Well done on a great fic.

Reviewer: BrittneyDate: 2005-04-18
Reviewid: 119850Chapter: 1
Hee hee. My mom just told me I was laughing too loudly. If I chose a favorite line from this, it would be

"Oh, come on. That was just..." Harry faltered a bit, but recovered. "She probably fancied Sirius."

"Who didn't?" said Hermione.

"What?" said Ron.


"You just said--"

"No I didn't."

"But didn't you just say--?"


XP! I loved it, the entire thing. Thanks for making me laugh!


P.S. The Remus/Tonks? Pure genius.

Reviewer: TrulyDate: 2005-04-17
Reviewid: 119809Chapter: 1
:S jack, one would hope you dont *have* any ovaries in your system......

lol lol LOL @ :

"She probably fancied Sirius."

"Who didn't?" said Hermione.

haha soooooo true!

oh jack i love u more and more each time! thank you thank you thank you! i'd love to see you get harry and ginny together tho :P but that just my humble shipping opinion :P ignore

Reviewer: IssyDate: 2005-04-17
Reviewid: 119802Chapter: 1
'Rather, Hermione was studying, and Harry was being studied at, as the former had turned learning into a martial art.'

One of the funniest lines I have ever read!

This story was great! It was cleverly put together, and the subplot about Ron and Hermione and the birds and the bees talk was hilarious. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it and chuckled the whole way through!

Reviewer: clumsy maniacDate: 2005-04-16
Reviewid: 119716Chapter: 1
Wonderful as usual Jack. I didn't really understand the pargraph introducing Ron at first - I got a bit confused, I'd don't know why, but I can be dense. Other than that, GREAT! Particularly:
"She probably fancied Sirius."
"Who didn't?" said Hermione.
"What?" said Ron.

Reviewer: AstridDate: 2005-04-15
Reviewid: 119666Chapter: 1
Oh. My. God! Hilarious, absolutely hilarious.

Reviewer: mattDate: 2005-04-14
Reviewid: 119647Chapter: 1
hahahahahahaha....very funny. I loved the "But seriously, what are ovaries?"

Reviewer: US HP FanDate: 2005-04-14
Reviewid: 119637Chapter: 1
LOL! Oh, this is too funny. You've done it again. You are definitely one of my favorite authors.

Reviewer: emma moonDate: 2005-04-14
Reviewid: 119603Chapter: 1
I didn't count how many times you used the word ovary, but it was fun not counting! I wonder how many synonyms you can come up with for breasts, though! Ha! Wonderful story! One of the best! Bravo!

Reviewer: MissDaisyDate: 2005-04-14
Reviewid: 119587Chapter: 1
Ah, I need a laugh and you delivered in spades. What a treat this was. Too funny for words.

Reviewer: Talking Purple Rabbits (again)Date: 2005-04-13
Reviewid: 119586Chapter: 1
there's a LINE for your child-bearing? ::sighs:: figures. then as long as you keep writing fic, i'll keep loving it. 'sall i can do, as i would never make it through the line either.

(and in an attempt to make this review less fangirly, let me say that i agree with Brooke -- your fics definitely improve with time. I don't read your earlier works, but some of the later stuff, "Animal Instincts," "Laughter," etc, can be read again and again.)

Reviewer: Talking Purple RabbitsDate: 2005-04-13
Reviewid: 119585Chapter: 1
If you looked over in my direction right now, you'd see one very happy, ovary-tickled girl who can't stop grinning. I don't know how you do it, Jack, but your stories get better and better. If ever you want children, I will gladly bear them (or something equally complimentary that doesn't sound quite so dirty ;).

There are just too many funny parts to list them all. Niptuck the Medical, Hermione's studying a Martial Art, Colin's date (poor, poor Harry), Hermione fancying Sirius, and OMG TEH REMUS/TONX!!!!!! ::calms down:: it was just hysterical. i need to go read it again.

but the best line, that will keep me grinning for hours on end?
'The last thing he heard Ron say was, "Seriously, though, what's an ovary?"' ::dies::


Reviewer: RoseDate: 2005-04-13
Reviewid: 119583Chapter: 1
It rocked. It rolled. It did other things that are so cool that I do not have the proper cool vocabulary to express them. You know, I honestly don't think I've ever read an HP fic that used the word 'ovaries', much less featured it so prominently. I hope you didn't get it all out of your system, and that we can look forward to more ovary-centric stories from you in the near future.

Reviewer: GiesbrechtDate: 2005-04-13
Reviewid: 119567Chapter: 1
An excellent example of your usual weirdness. Ginny is hilarious. The little narraration tricks you use to make sly jokes are perfect.

Reviewer: Madame LupinDate: 2005-04-13
Reviewid: 119563Chapter: 1
Fantastic! As usual. I was reading this outloud to my sisters, and began laughing so hard I couldn't continue upon reading this part: <i>Ron seemed to miss the irony in her voice, as he was starting to panic. "Yes. Isn't it? Anyway. She was saying things like 'I love you, Harry,' and 'You're a pile of ovary-tickling delight.'" An odd look crossed his face. "What's an ovary?"

"I'll tell you when you're older, Ron," said Hermione.</i>

You are a master of your art.

Reviewer: Mr Flying FingersDate: 2005-04-13
Reviewid: 119486Chapter: 1
You're always good for some laughs, Jack. Rather liked the bit about Hermione having a black belt in revising.

Reviewer: AnjerlaDate: 2005-04-13
Reviewid: 119481Chapter: 1
Holy cow. I keep reading this over and getting jokes I missed the first time. As a result, I am going to leave out any specifics of why I like this so much because I just know I'll re-read it and find something else and feel stupid because I like that even more.

*giggles* Niptuck...ahahahahaha...

Ahem. I did not say that. Anyway, this is hilarious. I'm going to re-read it and catch something else. And wake everyone in the house up while I'm at it. *excited*

Reviewer: MarchpaneDate: 2005-04-13
Reviewid: 119479Chapter: 1
Loved the do-re-mi thing and the bit about Remus/Tonks (I'm assuming it was Tonks). This confused me a bit: "Oh, good, I get to meet the mystery lady that's taken his place in your heart." It seems like the 'his' and 'your' are wrong, but maybe I'm just missing something. Anyway, brilliant.

Reviewer: nightcrawler1089Date: 2005-04-13
Reviewid: 119464Chapter: 1
Sirius. *Snigger* Very amusing story, thanks.

Reviewer: Amiable DorsaiDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119441Chapter: 1
Niptuck the Medical? Bwahaha!

Marvelous bit of lunacy, this.

Reviewer: Tash...Date: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119436Chapter: 1
That was friggin hilarious! I personally think the "ovaries" bits added a little somethig....Oh, aqnd the "Niptuck the Medical" was clever...really clever

Reviewer: MaryannDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119431Chapter: 1
OMFG. You have no idea how many weird looks I got while reading that, my family officially thinks I'm nuts.
Best part:
"She probably fancied Sirius."
"Who didn't?" said Hermione.
"What?" said Ron.
"You just said--"
"No I didn't."
"But didn't you just say--?"
"Look, Hermione's complexes aside, that is the craziest thing I have ever heard, Ron."
Great job!

Reviewer: YlimeDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119417Chapter: 1
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I'd quote some of my specially favourite lines, but there are too many. Just - perfect!

Reviewer: Solarius ScorchDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119414Chapter: 1
As always, a very nice story, Mr. Jack Whose-Surname-Cannot-Be-Spelled (At-Least-Not-While-Absolutely-Sober). Very funny, indeed, and there is so many features in such a short work, that one becomes wonder how do all of them fit! My hat is off to You.

Reviewer: kayjalDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119400Chapter: 1
hahahah . nice one. knockers has two k's! ;)

Reviewer: MeDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119386Chapter: 1
Well, I would offer to bear your children, but I already have four (well, five if you count my husband)and if it weren't (probably) a felony. Instead, I will just promise to read everything you write. Please, write more often.

Reviewer: ellaDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119376Chapter: 1

"Miranda was a skinny girl with very dark hair and extraordinarily green eyes."

OMG. That killed me!!! I've been smirking since I read the first line, but that AND the ovaries just did it for me. Yay for Jack as the first writer who killed me officially by writing some fan-fic about Harry/Ginny (and I'm not even a H/G shipper)!

Reviewer: Pineapple QueenDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119351Chapter: 1
You are so funny that words cannot express it.

A pile of ovary-tickling delight? Miranda being his double? Too funny. =) You make me laugh out loud every time. Thanks!


Reviewer: Reader2Date: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119337Chapter: 1
Funny. Good job.

Reviewer: Grace has VictoryDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119311Chapter: 1
You gave me more than one laugh. Ron and Hermione arguing about ovaries is so OOC stupid! I loved the twist at the end - I should have seen it coming, but I didn't.

Shouldn't it be "the mystery lady that's taken YOUR place in HIS heart"? Or was there some profound and obscure purpose in switching the possessive adjectives that I missed??

Thanks for brightening my day.

Reviewer: BrookeDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119303Chapter: 1
There are words that are just funny. Ovaries is definately one of them. Can I be honest with you and not offend? You have no choice... some of your earlier work I was not thrilled with and even thought you a little overrated. But the last few things of yours that I have read were incredibly funny and I am convinced that you're as great as everyone says.

Reviewer: BrookeDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119298Chapter: 1
There are words that are just funny. Ovaries is definately one of them. Can I be honest with you and not offend? You have no choice... some of your earlier work I was not thrilled with and even thought you a little overrated. But the last few things of yours that I have read were incredibly funny and I am convinced that you're as great as everyone says.

Reviewer: GenesseDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119295Chapter: 1

This story was all very, very funny! In particular, Hermione fancying Sirius and Harry about to sing the Doe-a-deer song and poor Ron worried aboiut Ginny's ovaries--all of those made me snort very ungraciously. And nice touch, including R/T.

Reviewer: MollieDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119294Chapter: 1
Oh. My God. That was HILARIOUS!

Reviewer: atr111Date: 2005-04-11
Reviewid: 119279Chapter: 1

Reviewer: ValaDate: 2005-04-11
Reviewid: 119275Chapter: 1
Holy crap! Once again, that was hilarious. Ron and ovaries...why am I not surprised that he doesn't know what they are? Great story again!

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2005-04-11
Reviewid: 119274Chapter: 1
I feel insulted by CornBees review. Unfortunately I can't entirely decide why I'm insulted. Is it because I was acused of trying to be funny when I was really coming to terms with deep seated feelings of Severus style hatred and biterness? Or is that I feel that even the accidental and unintentional humour of a deranged madman should have been funnier than Jack's mockery?

But anyway, as predicted the rave reviews are coming in. Can't you all see that he's playing with you? He played on the H/G shippers with the summary, taunting them! Making them think Ginny was declaring her undying love!! And damn it I just don't know what a synonynm is.

Lastly but most grieviously of all, he planted the image of ALBUS DUMBLEDORE WITH BREASTS in our minds. Need I say anymore?

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-04-11
Reviewid: 119269Chapter: 1
See, I would bear your children, seeing as Cornedbee's difficulties do not apply to me, but I understand there is a line, and I'd forget what was going on and wander off somewhere. On the other hand, my laptop has gone wireless, so I could keep reading your stories over and over again, but then I'd keep laughing so hard my side would hurt and I'd keep making weird squeaking noises that one makes when they run out of air after laughing so hard, which isn't conducive to the bearing of children.

The fic. Right. Funny as hell, as usual. A while ago, I think my dad would have been rather annoyed with you, had I told him what I was laughing at, because I interrupted the Red Sox game with the mental image of Dumbledore making an appointment with the doctor guy on Niptuck.

See, I always read more into each line of your stories than anyone else's because there's always going to be a joke. Hence the reason why I started giggling at the Mi in Do-Re-Mi.

<<"Oh! That's... that's a relief. I don't know why it's relieving that you were referring to Colin by my name, but it's relieving nonetheless.">>
*Is strongly reminded of Douglas Adams for some reason*

Oy, this is getting long. I will close by saying that I hope you got the word ovaries out of your system, because that is worrisome word to be on a kick on. *Is not sure if the last part of the sentance made sense*

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2005-04-11
Reviewid: 119226Chapter: 1
See, that's what I call unfair.
Actually, there's many things I call unfair. But this is particularly unfair.
Not only has the first review been stolen from me, it was also someone who's far funnier than I can ever hope to be - and still by far not as funny as yourself, Jack.
I cannot ask for your children. I'd have difficulties bearing them.
So how about you give me your talent instead?

Reviewer: Angelina WeasleyDate: 2005-04-11
Reviewid: 119225Chapter: 1
"You're just a big pile of ovary-tickling delight." You won't imagine how hard i laughed when I read this. And Ron's "What are Ovaries? I'll tell you when you're older, Ron."
Man. I bet Colin didn't know what they were either.
Heh. Miranda.

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2005-04-11
Reviewid: 119219Chapter: 1
Well as this is a pretty darn good fic you'll probably get your usual one hundred or so reviews from adoring women begging to have your children. The screams of Jack-love are already ringing through the Sugar Quill Walls. BUT ITS NOT FAIR!! I know that you are secretly laughing at us.

"What's an ovary?"
"I'll tell you when you're older, Ron," said Hermione.

This you see is Jack mocking all the people who didn't understand his bags/scrotums jokes in his special commentary edition of something or the other. Ron knows what an overy is and so do we. Just because we don't link bags automatically to scrotums doesnt make us lesser human beings!!!

I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to swear in reviews so I think I'd better end this with "I abhor Jack with an allconsuming passion". Ha!

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