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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 169

Reviewer: msninacatDate: 2007-05-30
Reviewid: 148131Chapter: 10
I am waiting (very impatiently) for your story to contine. I am sorry that I haven't left a specific review for every chapter, but I just started reading various stories and got sucked into all the wonderful stories. I wanted to show my appreciation to all the writers, so I finally got a name to post with. I LOVE your inclusion of Hermione's parents. Their back stories are wonderful without being too unbelievable. I also enjoyed how you introduced the paladin program into the story. It was well woven in and didn't leave you feeling like it had just been dropped in on a whim. I hope to read more of your wonderful story soon.

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2007-01-15
Reviewid: 146881Chapter: 10
Have you abandoned the Sugar Quill?

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-10-30
Reviewid: 145999Chapter: 10
This story, thus far, is wonderful. Please post more soon. At minimum, completion of the two month Paladin project would be the closest place to pause.

Reviewer: kmnDate: 2006-04-03
Reviewid: 141578Chapter: 8
hahaha "You are almost a mantra to the solution. There is a rumor that one student cast you as their Patronus, but that is just a rumor, as I said." AHAHA thas HILLARIOUS...LUV it!:D

Reviewer: kmnDate: 2006-03-28
Reviewid: 141404Chapter: 10
OMG i loooove this story...this is the only story that has made Harry look like the ULTIMATE warrior...I LOVE IT! But there's a problem...i've been checking back on this page since last summer and it hasn't been updated...i went to ur blog thingy and i saw the first 3000 words from the next chapter and i got all excited because that was SO good...but that was a while ago and this story is just tooooo good to pass up. I know you probably have more important things in your life, but PLEEEEASE can you finish the story!?

loving the story,
kMn

Reviewer: marauder4everDate: 2006-03-23
Reviewid: 141212Chapter: 10
Good story!Are you going to update,or are you going to abandon thins fic?Becaude its very good and the last time you upated was seven months ago.

Reviewer: lupinspupDate: 2006-03-15
Reviewid: 140960Chapter: 1
hi there! i was just wondering if you are going to continue this story. It is one of my favorite's, and I'm just sitting here, impatiently waiting to find out what happens.... thanks!

Reviewer: lindaleeannDate: 2006-02-10
Reviewid: 139633Chapter: 8
Your "offer" Uncle Vernon "can't refuse" was brilliant. I loved it. My cats and dog thought I was nuts because I was dancing around the house with glee when I read it. Very innovative and appropriate.

Reviewer: aurora luminisDate: 2006-01-16
Reviewid: 138608Chapter: 10
This is my first post on this; not because every single chapter didn't deserve one but it is very, very expensive to use the Internet in the Netherlands.. This is just so well written. It captivated me completely and I keep telling my friends about it. Please don't break my heart by not continuing it. Don't break my mother's heart...she loves it too. The Grangers are just so, so real,,, and Moody, and just everyone.

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-11-22
Reviewid: 136143Chapter: 10
You promised more. I am looking forward to it.

Reviewer: The Black TowerDate: 2005-10-23
Reviewid: 134981Chapter: 10
Please update, this is a real good story and I would hate to think that you have abandoned it. I know that summer is over and all. I realy like that you are having muggles kicking butt and I realy like where you are going with this story. Please update

Reviewer: Taegon VornDate: 2005-10-18
Reviewid: 134716Chapter: 10
This is terrific chapter in a brilliant story. In many ways I wish that this had been HBP.

You write a wickedly powerful battle scene, and the spells and curses you have invented are too clever. Gripping in it's unveiling, spell-by-spell, defense-by-defense.

At first I didn't understand why you were creating these new and/or improved characters, but then I just sat back and enjoyed your story-telling. Did you make these four interested in each other just to make the potions mistake seem realistic?

Please update soon. It's not fair to you to say that, but please do so anyway.

Reviewer: leeDate: 2005-10-15
Reviewid: 134543Chapter: 10
Hi, just finished reading all you have so far. Really good story.

Reviewer: June LuttrellDate: 2005-10-09
Reviewid: 134065Chapter: 10
YOu simply have got to finish this. It is absolutely wonderfull. Please put me out of my misery and post more chapters!

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2005-10-01
Reviewid: 133501Chapter: 10
This was very interesting. Almost more of a chapter to explain things and backgrounds and such, than as part of the story. I did enjoy it, but unfortunately it's taken me a long time to read it all because I couldn't read it in one sitting. The demands on University students are large as I'm sure you know and being a music major I rarely have time for an out of school social life and even less time for the reading of fanfiction! You'll probably have the next bit up before I've even noticed how much time has passed! Again, well done, you got some neat concepts and ideas that I liked exploring through this chapter. It's kind of funny picturing the McGonagall/Filch relationshipp, but that's only because I'm picturing movie Filch and he wasn't very attractive....make-up can do wonderous or not so wonderous things, lol. Anywho, like I said before I've enjoyed reading this and taking time out of the real world for a bit of relaxation time. Thanks!

~GW

Reviewer: LilldrakenDate: 2005-09-16
Reviewid: 132638Chapter: 10
I really like your way of writing 'The Boy Who.....' ...HiHiHi!

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-09-12
Reviewid: 132373Chapter: 10
I really enjoyed reading this chapter, the minor history's you give us for some of the teachers are facinating.

The seemingly opposite's that Sinistra and Snape seem to be as well as their history, it's all facinating.

And I really like the way you write action it's completely amazing. Thanks for writing this.

Reviewer: ClaireDate: 2005-09-10
Reviewid: 132211Chapter: 9
It was great to see St. Simons and Father Martin. Only one point of complait that I'll let you off for: 'Only in Oadby, near Leichester, did a dementor succeed in...' etc. Leicester not Leicehsester - just so you know.

Reviewer: RangaDate: 2005-08-31
Reviewid: 131429Chapter: 10
Good to see that you are continuing your story. and at the end of this chapter, I am still your fan.

You have a very distinctive style for story-telling which I really really like... the way you bring new twists into the tale and introduce some mundane pieces of information to be used waaaay later is ... wow.(kinda reminds me of an author I read.. you may have heard of her. Her name starts with J.K. Row...)

There is one point about your writing style. Obviously, you have a good clarity of your thought, and can put your thoughts into right words to express it (like a school teacher). but not everybody in this world has it. All characters in their conversations seem to be always use the right words to express their thoughts.. even on the spur of moment. And their thoughts seem to be in the same lines... while reading your chapters i keep getting the impression that it is your mind that is speaking thoughts through ur characters. since everybody thinks and appraches the same point differently, it is the character who should talk through the authors pen.

Aside from that.. Ammmmmaazing story... I am not one bit ashamed to say that i like this story better than the cannon-HBP... :)

Reviewer: RobertDate: 2005-08-29
Reviewid: 131232Chapter: 10
Very glad to see that this continues... there are many fan fics that have disappeared post-HBP. I am happy this is not one of them.

Reviewer: amulderDate: 2005-08-29
Reviewid: 131193Chapter: 10
Aaran... I said "T2" in my previous review, and I of course mean the "X2" (x-men 2) movie.
...art

Reviewer: HalanDate: 2005-08-26
Reviewid: 130937Chapter: 10
Wow. Just wow. You had me at the edge of my seat the entire time, and I kept checking my sidescroll bar to make sure that the chapter wouldn't be ending anytime soon. I was severely disappointed when I finally did reach the end of the chapter though, as I wanted the story to keep on continuing without any breaks in time.

I absolutly love how you take seemingly unknown background characters and flesh them out so wonderfully. You did it magnificantly with the Grangers, and now you do it again with Sinistra. You add onto characters that are already known, such as Snape and McGonagall. I've read both the Squib Tales and Oversexed, Overpaid, and Over Here, and I was thrilled to see the story lines from both of those fantastic stories being integrated into your own.

The battle itself made me giddy with excitement, it really gives you an insight into what Harry is/will be capable of. I actually said "Oh shit" when 18 DEs popped up, and I couldn't help but cheer as more and more DEs got their arses whooped.

Gah, too much to even comment on in this chapter. I look very much forward to your next chapter, whenever that might be written. Keep up the fantastic work.

Reviewer: harryp123Date: 2005-08-26
Reviewid: 130912Chapter: 10
Good chapter. Can't wait to read what is next.

Reviewer: JakeDate: 2005-08-26
Reviewid: 130910Chapter: 10
Wow, I never imagined I would like this story as much as I have when I read the summary, but the back stories for the grangers, and the program, and the relationships are amazing. Steph is my idol. You don't understand how excited I got in this chapter when I made the connection between the effects of the aberration day potion for that hour, and ginny saying "Harry's being attacked by Death Eaters". Oh man. I loved the action in this chapter, and the transition at the beginning of Harry's "hour" was beautiful. Figgie's emphatic eerie reaction, hoards of death eaters, I couldn't have imagined anything better. I just found this story so I'm not sure how often you update, so let me know if you could. Again, great chapter, I can't wait to see what you have in store.

Reviewer: BarbDate: 2005-08-25
Reviewid: 130877Chapter: 10
Hey there! Interesting chapter... Now this is definitely up to your Makers tradition! Really original, inventive and really well written. Great job! I can't even say which part I liked best, it flowed really well, really good pregression... The only thing that sounded a bit off was the fact that Arabella didn't send Ginny right away. I would guess that even if she was attuned to Harry's magic (which I don't really understand why she would be, but I guess that's something we'll find out in another chapter and is probably why she was appointed to "guard" Harry while he was growing up right?) she would have sent Ginny much earlier and not have waited until there was so many Death Eaters around. She would have felt there was something wrong and would have sent for help. It did allow you to save the battle for Harry alone though, so I see why you did it this way, but I still was a bit surprised why she didn't shout for help earlier. I really liked how you got them out of the house though! Anyway, it was a great chapter! Keep up the good work!

Barb

Reviewer: harryp123Date: 2005-08-25
Reviewid: 130848Chapter: 10
Good chapter. Can't wait to read next chapter.

Reviewer: perrin golden eyesDate: 2005-08-25
Reviewid: 130844Chapter: 1
I deeply enjoyed this chapter. However a bit of finality over the casualties as in numbers of dead and injured. Voldemorts reaction would be very amusing. From the numbers you describe there could have been a total of fifty death eaters involved in the battle. I especialy liked certain professors histories and subsequent affaires. I also liked luna's role in Neville's incident

Reviewer: beckDate: 2005-08-24
Reviewid: 130803Chapter: 10
as always loved the story and i loved how you had snape sinistra minnie & flich Kiss that was great and great back round writing =) cant wait for the next chapter

Reviewer: ArdenDate: 2005-08-24
Reviewid: 130789Chapter: 9
Wow! I love this story but Chapter 8 is, in my opinion, the best so far. I look forward to 9!

Reviewer: JayDate: 2005-08-24
Reviewid: 130784Chapter: 10
very very good, i especialy liked how well thought out the potion is, in cannon they never REALY tell you how and why potions work. i also like the way you are developing petunia. keep writting (faster is better).
Thanks for writting,
Jay

Reviewer: JamesDate: 2005-08-24
Reviewid: 130777Chapter: 10
Had to add in that I liked your twist on the old splinching factor. Harry using Dobby to apparate Arabella Figg out of danger was original, especially the unfortunate consequences. Looking forward to checking out your LJ too.

Reviewer: JamesDate: 2005-08-24
Reviewid: 130774Chapter: 10
Thanks for the new chapter, as well as all your replies to various reviews. I hope things slow down in real life a bit for you, if only so you can continue on with this nicely crafted story.
I will be honest and admit that I was shocked at how you paired Filch and McGonagall. I have read several good fanfics, and I would have to say that this came out of left field. Not saying it is bad or anything, just a bit hard to swallow(I probably am prejudiced from having seen the movies, in which Filch has nothing in the "physical attraction" category)
Hoping you fill in a bit more on how Harry is affected on Aberration Day. I thought it was interesting how Harry seemed to raise the bar so to speak on his abilities when confronted with such overwhelming odds. It stands out a bit to me in that normally you see Harry progress more step-by-step, but he took a giant leap forward in this chapter. I like that aspect overall, and am guessing we may see further evidence of this going forward.
I know this sounds weird for a man of may age to say, but I hope you "ship" a bit more on the Harry/Ginny end as well(I finally broke down and ask my son what that meant).
Keep up the great work, I am already looking forward to Chapter 10!

Reviewer: amulderDate: 2005-08-23
Reviewid: 130728Chapter: 10
Not having read (most of) the Squib tales, I confess that finding Filch portrayed this way is somewhat disconcerting. As the chapter progressed, I certainly wondered how you would explain his loathsome behaviour in OoTP. But you covered that very well. I'm not sure where that part of the plot is going, but it was interesting how it was set up, going back and forth from character to character, and then gradually weaving all the threads together. Also very impressive how that fed into the whole Aberration day thing.

The ambush of Harry caught me completely by surprise. I was reading the chapter, and seeing the foundation for the aberration layed. I was reading about the various encounters and realizing that you were leading up towards Harry. And I was expecting Ginny to be there, as she was, and I was expecting his experience to be similar. I was expecting either some humour, as Ginny takes him down, or some red faces as a kiss or two slipped through... I was *not* expecting a battle.

And just what will be the fallout? You explained that their memory/learning is heightened. If they'd been studying, they would master difficult concepts with ease. But instead, Harry wasn't learning, he was battling. It would seem that what we saw here was every shred of learning that Stef (and others) has impressed on him was rising up, getting tattooed in his brain, and being instinctively executed.

The fight scene was certainly exciting. Presumably Dawlish or the other one spilled the beans about the location of Potter? Why didn't Harry try to Apparate out earlier? Did he think that Ginny or Figgy were in trouble? I don't see any mention of that? Or was it just that he didn't have a spare moment to concentrate?

As an aside, my wife and I finally watched the "T2" movie on the weekend. The opening sequence, where Nightcrawler (A mutant who has a teleport talent) singlehandedly battles his way through 20-30 secret service guys throughout the whitehouse, was very exciting. I was just thinking of Harry's battle and realized that that movie scene could be a brilliant extrapolation of what a teleporter (or, an apparating wizard) could accomplish in a pitched battle, if they were also fairly acrobatic, and highly trained in hand to hand combat. You used some of that with wizards apparating here or there. If you get a chance, you might check out that scene from T2 for further ideas.

I note also, that this seems very different from the ambush of Hermione back in chapter 2 or 3. That featured a pair of very cocky DE's acting in a very stupid manner to ambush someone. In contrast, Harry is swarmed by DE's employing some guerrilla tactics. Where did they come from?

oh, and you write fiendishly long chapters!

thanks for sharing, I'm watching your LJ.
...art

Reviewer: claudiaDate: 2005-08-23
Reviewid: 130703Chapter: 10
This was a really packed chapter: a lot of information and a lot of action. I like where you are taking the story. It's not a "superhero" Harry, but a quicky way to achieve something. I hope that there is more coming soon. I only regret the long time it takes to some stories to be updated. Keep on rowling!

Reviewer: B. NonymousDate: 2005-08-23
Reviewid: 130673Chapter: 10
Hurray! You're back!

Dumb question --> are you changing any of this to even mildly fit things we've found out in Book Six? Perhaps your LJ contains the answers...

Reviewer: PhilDate: 2005-08-23
Reviewid: 130655Chapter: 10
Another excellent chapter (and the formatting seems much better too!)

Reviewer: jnhinkDate: 2005-08-22
Reviewid: 130602Chapter: 9
Good story with a good depth. It is nice that you cover the issues instaid of leveing the information hanging there with no information. The story does seem to have many strings that will need to be tied toghether. Good luck, keep up the good work. jnhink

Reviewer: JayDate: 2005-08-21
Reviewid: 130520Chapter: 9
This is great, i know HBP is out but please keep posting and il keep reading. i very much like your idea for dobby to be harrys house elf. i also think harrys new room is hillarious.
thanks for writting,
Jay

Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2005-08-18
Reviewid: 130301Chapter: 9
Aaron, I was wrong - Canon Harry has taken some leaves out of your book and Angsty Harry is laid to rest. You may even have provided a beeter transisition than JKR at some points.

Reviewer: JamesDate: 2005-08-11
Reviewid: 129592Chapter: 1
Interesting take on incorporating muggle combat techniques into the story, along with the portrayal of the Grangers. Hope you haven't given up on the story due to HBP release, looking forward to seeing where you take this.

Reviewer: big DDate: 2005-08-07
Reviewid: 129219Chapter: 1
are you going to update this soon? its good stuff!

Reviewer: tarkinlyonDate: 2005-08-06
Reviewid: 129003Chapter: 3
waouh !!
great work ! Hermione's parents are never used in the original Rowling's books and that's a pity when I read what you've done. I'd like to ask you two questions before I read the next chapter : How old are you ? and why don't you write a novel in your own universe ? You could b a writer ... in fact, you actually ARE a writer !

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-29
Reviewid: 128203Chapter: 9
Ah, A Granger getting the better of Snape! LOL

Nice getting to hear about Moody's meeting with Fairburn, although it seems that Fairborn didn't know that he's 'magical'.

Lavender casts a Patronus and goes back to shopping!? LOL

This Paladin program is really amazing. Of course it's now AU, but I would continue to read, and I would really enjoy reading it. Not because it's canon but because it's an excellent story, with favorite characters of mine.

Those random bits of HarryPotter that occasionaly get put in the Quibbler. Ah, at least now their is the occasional truth. :)

I enjoy the way you have the will carried out!

I truly enjoy the story and hope you continue it, even now that it's post HBP.

Reviewer: Maria M.Date: 2005-07-23
Reviewid: 127697Chapter: 9
Very nice! I, too, found the implications of "godfather" significant. I really like how you bring it in. I read this a week ago but couldn't post then as we were about to leave on vacation.

Reviewer: pussDate: 2005-07-22
Reviewid: 127620Chapter: 9
errr, i really like this fic but i'm not at all comfortable with the addition of religion. JKR has used christmas and easter but nothing more, so is it really neccessary to bring that whole kettle of turnips into the story? ;/

Puss (worried) :P

Reviewer: JoelDate: 2005-07-19
Reviewid: 127413Chapter: 9
First, I do hope you continue this despite the publication of HBP. I've enjoyed reading it; the testosterone in me always helps me enjoy the Clancy-meets-Rowling subgenre of fics. I really liked how you developed the relationship between the Grangers, and your action sequences are just fantastic (I think they are your real strength to this point).

One thing I will say is that your dialog is often a little stiff; a simple suggestion is to make extensive use of contractions. While not normally appropriate for formal writing, people don't usually say "is not," but instead, "isn't" is used except in the most formal speaking situations.

Reviewer: BarbDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127200Chapter: 9
Hey! Great job once again! I really like how you created James and Lily's relationship... It's quite believable, and gives it a very interesting twist! The "lady" meeting was hilarious, especially how Ginny dealt with Harry. Pretty good chapter overall! Nice job! I'm really looking forward to the nest one, although I will probably have to way wuite a while won't I! Anyways, hope to hear more soon! Good job! Oh and enjoy HBP!!

Barb

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127199Chapter: 9
Yaye, another chapter! I especially liked your explaination of the Godfather and Guardian. I liked the Harry and Ginny moments, lol. I thought the effects of the potion were quite interesting and am glad to hear that you're not going around changing any proper ships, lol. Anyway, great work, I'll stay on the lookout for the next update, and I'll go check out your LJ!

~GW

Reviewer: harryp123Date: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127157Chapter: 9
Good chapter. Can't wait to read what is next. Why did Ginny not get accepted into the program. I thought that she might because of the battle in the dept of Mysteries.

Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127137Chapter: 9
Aaron, I've been reading without reviewing for a while because I'm wrestling with the "totally together" Harry you have here. You've given him emotional moments (especially when remembering Sirius), but basically he is a new person. Super rational. No anger. Except under the influence of potions, of course: "Hermione and Harry had both gone at each other, leading with their lips" - ;D!
What I like about this is that with Harry's angst out of the way, there is much more room for a gentler humour, an interesting plot and some real inventiveness - I like what you've done with Dobby; you seem to have an instinctive feel for the rules of the wiarding world and it's relationship to the muggle world. In fact, it's not surprising given that you've practically invented large parts of it's history in your Olivander fic.
What I don't like about this is that I feel like I'm reading about a substitute Harry - a person placed in this plot for the purposes of someone else's story. To the extent that he is a little wooden, I wonder if it's because of the tension between the Harry of Canon nand the Harry required by your plot? Because your writing, your characters are usually much better than this - Steph granger is more a 'vintage' St. Vines character. I'm really enjoying him, especially in his interactions with older OotP members. The interaction with Moody was interesting and the ..er ..interaction with Snape was a highly specific joy.
Your development of the Marauders story is interesting - I want to know where that's going. And I like the way Sirius is providing 'leverage' on Remus to persuade him to take his bequests. Looking forward to where this goes after HBP.

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127131Chapter: 9
The whole snogaffliction bit seems a bit odd. Cute, but odd. Perhaps one of the original creators of the potions program had added it as joke which due to his untimely demise was never removed. Even teachers need a laugh.

Have you borrowed a bit of Petunia/Remus from Kokopelli as well?

Nice to see Mr. Granger and Mad Eye getting along so well. Always thought pensieves were underused and I liked your idea of using it as a training tool.

I rather liked your last line. While Ron is often given Seer powers in fanfic, it would be a nice change to see him simply doing well in his studies without Hermione whispering in his ear.

I have not seen Father filled with such zeal since my mother died
-Nice touch.

The first meeting between Snape and Mr. Granger was fun to read, but I'd like to learn why Snape would bother with physical exercise as it such a rare interest in wizards. I have this image of a 98 pound, third-year Snape stumbling across a Charles Atlas guide.

Hope you keep Fudge in power as his bumbling and credit taking are what keeps the Prophet amusing to read.

his arm was wrenched behind his back. The point of a blade was drawing a trickle of blood from his neck.
-Make a nice bit of fan art.

How about a "Queer Eye for the Elfin Guy" for Dobby?

Reviewer: SEAMUSISEVILDate: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127114Chapter: 9
wow another wonderful chapter as i was reading it i reconised farther martin and the grey frairsfrom t.l.o.s. and i agree with you kokopelli is always a good read even if he has quit posting new stories and it has bummed out all of his die hard fans (hint hint kokopelli if your reading this)i cant wait for chapter nine
b.t.w.
when you had harry kissing hermione and chasing after ginny i laughed so hard i was actully crying!
you are every bit as good as kokopelli ,jo rowling,steven king,and geoffry chaucer in my humble opinion! keep up the incredable job you do in every chapter

Reviewer: RobertDate: 2005-07-13
Reviewid: 127112Chapter: 9
Once again... DAMN! I am sure glad Steph is on OUR side...

Well done and just... wow. I really hope you don't give up on this even though it is about to become AU. Heck some of my most favorite of the SQ stories are AU. I'm thinking in particular of the Time's Riddle and Stepbrother series as well as the Unbroken Universe trillogy.

Reviewer: Jedibookworm13Date: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126791Chapter: 8
I have rather enjoyed your story. You have a good grasp on the cannon characters, and have fleshed out personalities in those who are only bnriefly mentioned in a believable and three dimensional way. It is refreshing to read fanfiction where characters are shown in all of their complexity, rather that ComicRelief!Ron, AmazingRepositoryofKnowledge!Hermione, BadAss!Ginny, and the like.

I also like the way that you are giving Harry a power boost with resorting to unbelievable (even for a universe whose basic premise is magic and the impossible). I feel that as powerful as Harry is now (a corpreal patronus in the face of a hurndred dementors at age 13!), he needs something more to be capable of standing against Voldemort and winning on his own merits rather than via a fluke or some super-powerful-old-magic-that-was-previously-unknown-to-all-but-Dubmledore. I like the concept of witches and wizards recieving a magical maturity as well as a physical maturity.

I hope to see more of your story before HPB or after, I just hope it is completed.

Reviewer: HossDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126190Chapter: 8
I don't recall " are hero " in eney of the book's. That's the only real grip I have, The rest is quit good.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-05
Reviewid: 126072Chapter: 8
Harry's letter was excellently written. You did a great job, on the letter to Marietta, sometimes you just have to feel for Harry, he never had a childhood, just listen to the tone of the letter, he sounds like he's a regular adult.

Dumbledore, really has quite a charm, the way he dealed with the Dursleys, was absolutely priceless.

All these letters are written amazengly, and I especially liked that idea about printing those instructions in the Quibbler. Another Sell out for them? It's really convinent knowing Harry?!

----"There is a rumor that one student cast you as their Patronus"----
<grin> LOL.

Great Chapter, I can't wait for the next one...

Reviewer: ClifDate: 2005-07-04
Reviewid: 126028Chapter: 5
I have no idea why, but I have started to read this fic more times than I can count and then lost it before I could finish. With the quality of the writing this is most disappointing. Your characterization of the Grangers is remarkable. I have seen them portrayed in several fashions but this is by far the most interesting. My only critique of this particular chapter is the voice that you have given to Remus. I am not sure that you quite captured the character, but I doubt seriously that I could have done that conversation, which I must agree had to happen, any better so who am I to complain. I do understand the repeated use of the phrase, “This is war!”, but I think that toward the end it became a bit redundant. Perhaps the idea would have come across better for both Harry and your readers if you had modulated the phrase occasionally. That is just my opinion so take it for what it is worth. Otherwise this is one of the most original fics that I have read. Keep up the good work.

Clif

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-04
Reviewid: 126011Chapter: 7
----"After a very solemn pause, Harry asked, "What did you do during your O.W.L.s that was so wonderful, sir?"

"Oh, I solved the problem with Aberforth's goat." "----
ROTFL, LOL. That was great. I enjoyed the whole "O" Plus, "thing".

I found that letter from the Edgecombs interesting, while I'm not sure myself at all, if that's how it's going to end up in the book, with Marietta rejoining their side, it is a distinct possibility. I'm hoping that the DA gets some "script" time in this story.

In a way I'm glad to know that the Slytherins will be joining in the program, it can help normalize realations between the houses, I'm all for it in the DA too.

Is there a reason you decided to go with the "thousand" count. Jo did say it in a interview, but by all counts from the books, it would seem there aren't more than about three hundred, but anyways, it's definitly valid because Jo did say it in an interview.

This Pladin program seems to get more interesting as it goes on...

it's said somewere's in the book that Mcgonagal, is seventy which isn't very old for a wizard, and she is described as elderly?

Great Chapter!

Reviewer: beckDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125490Chapter: 8
excellent chapter i loved it and they way you had Dumbledor have those 3 people call vernon was fantastic and i loved the way you ended it tonks is so great =) great job cant wait for the update

Reviewer: RangaDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125457Chapter: 7
This is the most AMAZING Fan-Fiction story I have read yet, and I marvel at your penship in describing the tough decisions people have to make in the face of un-nerving war. Please do not stop writing this story even after the Book 6 is released. I definitely would like to know where your story leads in this alternate universe.

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125447Chapter: 8
Again, absolutely wonderful. I especially liked the parts about Tonks changing and everything. It's funny how every reference I've ever read about Dudley having a girlfriend, has had the girl being tall and skinny...the opposite of Dudley and the same as his mother. Is this just something the Dursley men go for, like the Potter men like red-haired women? Lol. I agree with you that writing Harry and Ginny's relationship is a tough thing. There are so many views on it. I do think that you will do an admiral job with it though.

About HBP...I personally think that you should try and continue with your story line, whatever happens in the real thing. I personally, want to see where you are taking this, you've got some really great ideas and I want to see them in writing! Thanks for a great story!

~GW

Reviewer: amulderDate: 2005-06-27
Reviewid: 125394Chapter: 8
Aaron,

Another interesting chapter. I am really intrigued by this Paladin program. On the one hand, it seems rather confusing, but on the other, it looks like it will be very fun to read about. For instance, I'm really curious as to how you will handle Harry having a conversation/visit (Dumbledore did emphasize that it was *just* a visit) with a young lady of the complementary gender. I think many of us would really like to see Harry develop some more emtional control!

The humiliation of Vernon was classic. In part, because this was the "gift that keeps on giving". If Dumbledore simply forced Vernon, it would be a one time thing, done and over. But now Vernon has to face *every day* at work that his major contracts, and his job itself, were due to Dumbledore's meddlings. Dumbledore -- that evil magic! -- is responsible for all their current worldly wealth. Suddenly, whether he realizes it or not (and I think that Petunia might, almost) suddenly Vernon is indebted to Harry, SEVERELY indebted to Harry and Harry's "kind". And Harry knows it. Delicious.

So back to these visits... will it be random girls? Or will it be other Paladin trainees that Harry spends his time with? I have to go back and check chapter 6 to see if you've actually mentioned all the names of the participants in the paladin program.

thanks for sharing
...art

Reviewer: BarbDate: 2005-06-27
Reviewid: 125353Chapter: 8
Hey there! Great chapter! I certainly know how hard it is writing a good story. I wouldn't even imagine how botched a story written by me would be. And really, this is a hell of a good job you're doing here! It would be a shame if you stopped the story just because HBP came out. About my last comment, I have a feeling I was a bit offensive (maybe I'm just imagining it, but...), but I dodn't mean anything bad with it. It was just that the chapters sounded a bit different than they usually do. However, this one is up to your usual standards and I greatly appreciated it. Bravo! And please please please don't stop after HBP comes out! This story is going in a way too good direction to stop! By the way, I really like your idea of making Harry's room similar to the room of requirements. I'm just wondering what happens to Dobby if he's say, making dinner in one of the rooms... Is he like pushed aside? Where do the other rooms go when one is called up? Where are they stored? But that's just my overactive imagination analysing everything... Anyway, hope to read some more soon! Good job sweety!
-Barb

Reviewer: Maria M.Date: 2005-06-27
Reviewid: 125331Chapter: 8
"bloody Heliopaths" *laughs*
A couple typos--1)"oustanding" for "outstanding" plus in Ron's exclamation.
2)"everyone keeps tell me" instead of "everyone keeps telling me" in Harry's letter to Marietta
3)When Harry's talking to Ginny--"Fleetingly he wondered just how bad had been." How bad it had been, or what?
4) same conversation--"It was good decision based on everything you knew." You probably want "A good decision" etc.
5) "One moment. please." You probably want a comma there. --Gee, I feel bad giving you all these, but you probably want them out of your story, eh?
6) "Harry tried to be so casual while dropping this tidbit of information." The usual use is "so casual that..." or else just "very casual".
7) In Dumbledore's speech, it's "supersede" and "superseding" with two esses and no Cs. Curious, I know. (The "sede" is Latin and related to "seat".) Also in that speech, "Magic has it's own limitations." That's "its own limitations." In the paragraph beginning "Dumbledore chuckled" you have a "where" that's missing its H.

I like Dobby flashing in, getting to "Mr. Harry Potter's aunt and--", and flashing out. I like Ginny's "And you've never been hexed like I'm going to hex you if you try to stop me." Also Dumbledore's unrefusable offer. And the letters from various people asking Harry for advice, those are a really nice touch.

It's probably just something from last chapter I've forgotten but what does Luna mean, "Have you been looking in Gryffindor like I told you?"

"But, MUM! I want to see my bacon." Ha!
She smiled and they kept eating in surprisingly comfortable silence. --I really like that sentence, that image. Perhaps it's the word "surprisingly" that clinches it.
*laughs* I was hoping Dumbledore would bring back the tea set! Cool!
Someone should draw Asian Tonks. I want to see that.
"There is a rumor that one student cast you as their Patronus, but that is just a rumor, as I said." Brilliant! So, what's the author's opinion? Rumor or fact?
It was good to see Hermione and the Weasleys at the beginning of the chapter. Do we get to see them again later? Let me guess... Harry will get to meet with Ginny for practice with members of the opposite sex?
Your thing about house-elves is one of those things that sounds entirely canon and logical. Interesting implications there.
I was so excited to see you had another chapter up, and you didn't let me down. Thanks for writing!

Reviewer: GoldieDate: 2005-06-27
Reviewid: 125325Chapter: 8
First, I love your story. I'm enjoying this so much, I'm falling behind in re-reading OotP before HPB comes out.

But I have to tell you, I had the best laugh I've had in a long time reading about Petuna taking Dudley to get a new computer, and it's running windows! If anyone ever deserved the horror that is windows and the blue screen of death, it's Dudders!

As a mac fanatic, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Reviewer: aliceDate: 2005-06-27
Reviewid: 125324Chapter: 8
Great story! I enjoyed the Ollivander's fic, and was glad to see this one as well. I particularly appreciate the plot pacing - it's quick, and there's a lot of story to be able to get into.

The one main suggestion I have is that your dialogue can often seem rather formal, esp. for the teenagers. The lack of contractions seems is the part that most often catches my eye. Of course, I'm an American and am reading with an American accent in my mind, which may impact things a bit.

Thank you so much for writing! I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Reviewer: MiriamDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125277Chapter: 8
I love what you are doing with this. I think reappointing Dobby to Harry was a brilliant thing that I would have thought of. Yay for us thinking alike!

I like what you have done with Vernon and Petunia. Even Dudley seems human.

I have a lot more thoughts on the matter, but for now, this will have to do.

Good job, and I look forward to seeing the next chapter.

-----Miriam

Reviewer: seamusisevilDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125251Chapter: 8
IMMMM BAAACK HEH HEH
AARON THIS WAS ANOTHER REALLY WELL THOUGHT OUT CHAPTER as all of your writing is i was realy impressed by the way you handled vernon about his wanting to be paid for tacking care of harry that greedy petty side of him is missing in a lot of fanfic storys he is mostly portrayed as just a loud ornery a## hole
im not sure if i like your petunia yet but as always you have set the basis and reasons for her actions up masterfully
dudley with a girl hum let me think about that ......
...nope cant wrap my head around any girl finding him likeable no matter how hard i try oh well i guess there has to be some girl somewhere who would like a guy like him
as for getting a mac i can barley afford this gateway as it is but thats my bear and ill have to cross it myself keep up the wonderful job that you do on all of your storys and even if you cant beat h.b.p. keep them comming and ill keep r&r'ing them
A-ST-V ROCKS

Reviewer: haryp123Date: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125235Chapter: 8
Good chapter. Can't wait to read what is next.

Reviewer: ArtemisaDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125231Chapter: 8
Very interesting take on the relationship between house elves and their masters. I always wondered why Dobby could feel relief following Harry's order to not harm himself.
And to quote Harry. Thank god nobody else was hurt.

Reviewer: PaulaDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125215Chapter: 8
So many extremely funny bits in here - the OWLs mix-up, the series of phone calls to Vernon, Petunia's wail when the china and tea-service disappear, Boy uhm Harry, Thank you er Son!! Excellent. I'd never really thought about what happened to a freed house-elf despite Dobby and Winky's so diametrically opposed reactions - but your theory is really intersting. Will now resign myself to patiently waiting for the next installment! Cheers. Paula

Reviewer: nightcrawler1089Date: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125203Chapter: 8
Hmmm...I first read part of this story over at PhoenixSong. You have some very interesting plot premises, and I can't wait to see how they turn out. That said, I think you need to jog the story up just a little bit--MAJOR action, not something that's happened offhand. Still, it's a VERY nice story. Thanks!

Reviewer: RichDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125183Chapter: 8
Another brilliant chapter, with the next installment almsot as eagearly awaited as the half blood prince.
Please, please, please finish this even if it will be AU after the HBP is released!

Reviewer: claudiaDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125176Chapter: 8
First, the Creevey petrified was Colin and not Dennis.
Second,I think your story is great and if you just borrowed the characters I don't think JKR would mind if you play a little longer, even after HBP-day. I will be waiting impatiently for the rest - all of it, until the end!

Reviewer: TinaDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125102Chapter: 8
I really enjoy both of your stories. Please keep it up till the end, even if it is after the 16th. This is a /great/ story! I can't wait for the next chapter.

Reviewer: JulieDate: 2005-06-23
Reviewid: 124985Chapter: 7
Well done, vert nice indeed. Definetly something to keep an eye on. Love the detail.

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2005-06-23
Reviewid: 124977Chapter: 7
I love this story more and more everytime you add something new. I especially love the amount of detail and effort you put into background information that we might consider useless at the time, but realize after more reading that it's infact very usefull. I love your responses to my reviews, it makes me feel as happy to read those as, it seems, you are to actually the reviews. Thank you for taking the time to respond to our responses :D.

I can't wait to find out what Dumbledore is going to offer Vernon...Also I am interested in reading how Harry is going to go about getting Ron to forgive Percy. Well, again, wonderful job, keep it up!

~GW

Reviewer: sandstarDate: 2005-06-22
Reviewid: 124862Chapter: 7
Bloody brilliant! I can't wait to see whatDumbedlore's plan is... The Paladin program is one of the most ingenious ideas i've seen in the fanfiction i've read, very original... I liked your piece with Ron talking about Hermione. It gave me a good reason to laugh out loud... I envy the girl who finally ends up with you, she's not going to have to explain how to be romantic, that's for sure... *grin* that's about all. i can't really find anything wrong (and believe me, I looked). Your combat scenes are very well told. I hate war stories and I got caught up in them, crying like crazy, mind you, but i loved them... Your grammar's in good shape as well. All I can say, you better update soon! Oh yes! If you have the time, come read my own feeble attempt at fanfic, at harrypotterfanfiction.com. My username is sandstar. Keep up the Great writing! Cheers and Errol!

~sandstar

Reviewer: forbesnDate: 2005-06-22
Reviewid: 124851Chapter: 7
This is an AWESOME story!....when are you getting to the h/g stuff? do you belive that the story will be more than 10 chapters long?

Reviewer: Ford PrefectDate: 2005-06-22
Reviewid: 124838Chapter: 7
I was enjoying this fic quite a bit as it illustrates the interplay between the Muggle world (and their capabilities) and the magical one. This last chapter has me feeling a little concerned. The whole description of the Paladin program (a little too complicated for me) left me with the feeling that this fic is taking quite a different turn. The whole "potion that will effectively make you into an adult" thing seems an over obvious ploy to get Harry and the others into adult relationships overnight. Why is it necessary for them to be likely headed in effect to marriage like relation at the ages of 15 and 16? One of the delightful aspects of JKR's stories is that she writes kids as kids. I tend not to like fics that rush Harry from the end of OOTP into "SuperHarry" in the space of a couple of weeks or fics that insist that lose the reality of life in your teens.

Reviewer: Darker_RageDate: 2005-06-21
Reviewid: 124792Chapter: 7
Again, I feel compelled to review this fine piece of work. Before I do, I have to side with you in your response to Greena Waters' review - we do indeed (seem) to have a MUCH harder time of figuring out what the female of the species is all about *shakes head in confused disbelief*

To business - aside from the minor formatting problem, I actually read this at a respectible time of day, so should be able to provide a more sensible review. I adore your Grangers; Steph cleaning his fingernails at Ron is just something I would love to see... Your descriptions of the jungle and gurilla (sp?) warfare are elequant to say the very least, but the word doesn't really give justice to the amount of care you seem to have put into Steph's back-story.

I have figured out what makes your writing so compelling; you have a rare way of writing with just enough "ahh, I see where this might be going" moments as to drive the reader on to see (if nothing else!) whether they were correct or not. Add to that the little plot twists that pop in at regular intervals and it's a recepie for fantastic work.

I look forward, as ever, to reading your future chapters, Darker_Rage

Reviewer: forbesnDate: 2005-06-19
Reviewid: 124541Chapter: 5
awesome! keep it up, but try to get to the h/g a little faster please:D what about pg 13?lol its an awesome story

Reviewer: Maria M.Date: 2005-06-19
Reviewid: 124484Chapter: 7
"Oh, I solved the problem with Aberforth's goat."
That is wonderful! Just the sort of thing Dumbledore might casually drop. I like that you don't tell us what the problem was, just leave it for the imagination.

"Because we magical humans have such powers, we need extra control, so we do not blow up our aunts or such." Again, you've got Dumbledore's way of talking and wry humor down pat.

"In Vernon's humble and considered opinion - just ask him about his objectivity"...

"Dundlebore"... brilliant! Like Vernon's malapropisms for "dementor" at the beginning of book 5, which I also rather enjoyed. Nice parallelism of Jo's and yours how he can't pronounce wizarding terms any more than Ron or Arthur can Muggle ones.

Reviewer: Maria M.Date: 2005-06-19
Reviewid: 124479Chapter: 6
Finally, the title line! Moody is the perfect man to say it.
"Merlin's housecoat, if Death Eaters rounded the corner this very minute, I'm sure we would do rather well." Moody looked up and seemed to focus his magical eye. He said, "No, none there." :-)

Wow... Mr. Granger means business. I really like this portrait of a capable Muggle.

Reviewer: Artemis GordonDate: 2005-06-18
Reviewid: 124413Chapter: 5
Enjoying the story, especially the secret lives of the Grangers, and the writing style is smooth and flows , but the moral of the story, this chapter anyways, is bunk. "trust has to have an element of the unknown or what's to trust?" What a load of hoo-ha! Trust, especially after Dumbledore did very little to engender such trust during OotP, needs to be earned, not demanded. Paperwork? Harry did NOT choose to be the savior of the wizarding world, Steph DID choose to join the S.A.S. Canon has Dumbledore stating that Harry has every right to have rage to a greater extent than he actually did so. "a series of small bad decisions that left Harry uninformed" What a load of codswallop! Childish pride, no, a more than reasonable response to total abandonment, other than what was absolutely required to keep the Grand Plan on track, by the Father figure who abandoned Harry to his Dickensian childhood. I like Dumbledore, but certainly hope and expect That Ms. Rowling doesn't take him to the Machiavellian extremes you have him going to. Good story, great writing, but the characters of Dumbledore and to lesser extent Harry just don't scan.

Reviewer: JenDate: 2005-06-18
Reviewid: 124405Chapter: 7
Fabulous, wonderful, I love it! It is always fun to see the little mentioned characters develop as much depth and personality as you have given the Grangers. Did you consider including a potion to accelerate emotional growth?

Reviewer: forbesnDate: 2005-06-18
Reviewid: 124401Chapter: 3
this IS awesome!! keep it up,. anything with the military is greatly appreciated in my books!

Reviewer: beckDate: 2005-06-17
Reviewid: 124353Chapter: 7
What a great chapter i loved that, "Your clock is fast. Oh, have you lost something back there, Petunia, Vernon? May I help you find it?". that was great =)cant wait to find out what the offer is that uncle vernon cant refuse keep up the great work this is such a great story

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-06-17
Reviewid: 124319Chapter: 6
-----"I was lying in wait to teach you a lesson in constant vigilance," he sputtered as he pushed himself up and collected his Invisibility Cloak-----

<grin> Harry's one up on Moody.

---"Great Scott, Potter, this is war!"---
Ahh, of course it's Moody's line. Who else?!

---"Dumbledore is finally getting smart about your Defense training"---
He means the new DADA? I can't wait to find out what Dumbledore has planned!

It's very interesting to hear about Moody's war stories, especially the one where he got the pegleg, and Magic eye.

It was very facinating to read about Steph's military stories. They were great like the rest of the chapter.

Reviewer: harryp123Date: 2005-06-17
Reviewid: 124279Chapter: 7
Good chapter and story. Can' wait to read what is next.

Reviewer: Te ArohaDate: 2005-06-17
Reviewid: 124278Chapter: 7
yay, finally NZ gets a look in in fan fiction. As good guys, too. I can't wait to hear more about the paladin programme. Will there be any students from Australasia?

Reviewer: BarbDate: 2005-06-17
Reviewid: 124264Chapter: 7
Oh boy, I'm ashamed... I really thought it was supposed to come out today! Oh that makes me sad... Well at least I'll have time to re-read OoTP. Anyway, I really liked your 2 chapters, however, I have to say that they sound a bit different... I don't know, your writing style for these two chapters and for the ealier ones and for Makers are not exactly the same... Maybe it's just me though, but they sound not as worked as the others. Not saying that they're bad, but it just seems to me that you repeated a lot of the information and had the crachters "speak too much". I'm not exactly sure as to what I mean, but anyway, it's still two very good chapters! I really like how you gave all Vernon's advancement in his company to <i>those</i> people! Very funny... I'm really looking forward to seeing how your story will evolve!

-Barb

Reviewer: Ford PrefectDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124236Chapter: 7
I assume someone else has pointed this out but, what was Harry's Potions OWL mark. It's missing from the list.

Reviewer: BeckyDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124207Chapter: 7
So...is there a joke about a snake charmer, a dentist, and a trombone player?
Great story, can't wait for more.

Reviewer: seamusisevilDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124205Chapter: 7
hi great work on the last three chapters ive had some p.c. probs and havent been able to read and review latelyits really good to see a lot more humor in your writing it gose well with your style keep them comming yours are the best

Reviewer: ArtemisaDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124193Chapter: 7
Next chapter is going to be soo interesting. I can't help but shiver in aticipation at a Dursley/Dumbledore summit.
Please update soon.

Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124192Chapter: 6
AAargh. that was NOT fun to read!
Nice to get a little NZ in a fan-fic - and good to have the Aussies been yelled at too.
Well told story of soldiering with integrity.
Terribly effective punchline.

Reviewer: amulderDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124189Chapter: 7
Since I built you up in the last review I'm now going to tear you down... :-)

Your list of OWL's in Harry's letter completely omits potions.
If you included it in the list, and counted it twice as you do the other classes... I guess he'd have 14 owl's.

(The rest of the chapter was pretty brilliant. It's tought to get inside Vernon's head, but I think you did a credible job. And the final few paragraphs were very funny. And backing up the bit with Ron telling about Steph cleaning his fingernails with the knife was hilarious, as was Syl's entrance, and Hermione's also. It was very visual, and fit in wonderfully with the characters as you've built them up. In fact, I find myself envisioning the same scene in about 25 years with Ron cleaning his fingers with the knife -- since he'll presumably learn to use one in the paladin program? -- having Hermion in the role of Syl walking in and berating him for scaring their daughter's suitor... On and on through the ages, some things never change, and we are gratefull for that!

One other thing occurs to me... By limiting this program to 6th and 7th years a certain Miss Weasley is going to be mightily ticked off.

And finally... you are building up to a huge epic novel here! This is a huge educational program planned, then you're bringing in students from overseas, as well as professor's. Not to mention the build up we can expect over the rest of Harry's summer. Just how large a book are you writing here? Somehow I don't think that you are going to make the July 16 deadline.

best wishes
...art

Reviewer: amulderDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124178Chapter: 6
The final sentence is perhaps the most powerful, hard, painful, truthful sentence that I have ever read in this fanfiction world. Dreadful as well, but then I've never lived through wartime.

The stories within this chapter are powerful themselves, well crafted.

On a *much* lighter note, I like the gentle inclusion of Ginny-as-chatterbox in the middle section of the chapter.

blessings,
...art

Reviewer: CootiePatootieDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124172Chapter: 7
Another excellent chapter. Vernon really is clueless isn't he?
Loved the bit with the knife and Hermione's dad and Ron. Too funny, especially the bit about mom catching him doing it.
Cant' wait to see how your paladin program is going to flesh out. The description of it is very interesting.

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