The Sugar Quill
Sugar Quill Community
- S.P.E.W (SQ History)

Fan Fiction and Writing
- Ask Madam Pince
(Story Submissions)
- Floo Network (Links)

Forums

Administrative Links

Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Crown of the North
Review(s): 181

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2007-11-19
Reviewid: 149956Chapter: 4
The funeral for Caradoc was really sad and a bit creepy with the dust being drawn out of the earth--it reminded me of Moody's Dumbledore-dust jinx in DH. Love the growing attraction between Ariadne and Remus. They're so well suited for one another in temperment...and I think there's a lot more to those yellow flowers than Ariadne is letting on.

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2007-11-19
Reviewid: 149955Chapter: 3
[When she smiled, he almost basked.]

That last line is just glorious. Poor Dewar! The story of the Muggle werewolf was really heartbreaking and I'm intrigued to know who the witch was (Bellatrix?). Kingsley and his Memory Charms was a bit funny though.

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2007-11-17
Reviewid: 149946Chapter: 2
[Remus, although replying to Sturgis, never left her side; he seemed very happy to pay her so much attention, and very glad to have the excuse of her parents’ orders to be able to do so.]

Oh sure Remus...just following orders *whistles innoscently* Ha!

Great build up of suspense in this chapter and it is devestating when Ariadne realizes the truth about Remus. I also loved the glimpse of Macnair castle and the telescopic view; reminded me a bit of mad-Eye Moody's eye in the GoF movie.

This is such a greatstories and the characters and writing are so captivting--you should turn this into an original work.

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2007-11-17
Reviewid: 149945Chapter: 1
[They evidently considered Mr Lupin to be a Responsible Adult, and herself to be a child who was just beginning to be an adult, but was certainly not a woman.]

*snert* Got to love clueless parents.

Morag is too cute! I just wanted to scoop her up and give her a hug when she insisted on picking flowers for William. And I loved how Ariadne was so ready to descibe all the things you can do with heather (and Remus's response.) So adorable; you can really see how they get along, how well they compliment each other as well as how they contrast each other.

[“If we’d thought to ask Dumbledore … he would have told us not to go,” said Glenda. “He certainly wouldn’t have handed out the clues.”]

Yeah, that sounds like Dumbledore in a nutshell!

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-08-28
Reviewid: 145053Chapter: 21
I enjoyed this even more than part one. Really Quite Excellent.
Where can I find part three?

Reviewer: KaylaDate: 2005-07-19
Reviewid: 127429Chapter: 21
This has been a lovely story, such a happy idea about one of my favorite characters. But, I do have one question because, you see, the sixth book just came out a couple of days ago and I did not realize that we had heard the name Scrimgeour ever before. Did I miss one of those hints that JK sometimes gives, or have you gone in and altered this story in the past couple of days?

Reviewer: SierraDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127233Chapter: 21
Ah, there we go. Mushy love stuff! How wonderful. I'm so happy for Ariadne and Remus, and I look forward to reading more of their life together.

~Sierra

Reviewer: SierraDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127229Chapter: 19
Oh, my goodness. Talk about tension you could cut with a knife. I'm sure I was blushing in a totally inappropriate way (I'm reading this at work) when Ariadne was thinking about Remus' hands. Had it been me on that couch, I would have pounced. But Ariadne (the lucky girl) is not me. *sigh*

Still lovely stuff.

~Sierra

Reviewer: Sierra NicoleDate: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127158Chapter: 16
SQUEE!!!! So wonderful. Thank you for pointing me over here. I've been trying desperately to keep my mind occupied while I wait for HBP, and there is just _nothing_ good at ff.net right now (or maybe I'm too picky). This is hitting the spot, thanks.

~Sierra

Reviewer: Ian TupperDate: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127138Chapter: 14
Nicely done. You've kept the suspense going, with the meeting at the end of the chapter we knew was going to happen. I hae ma doots aboot some of the period detail, though: Pink Floyd and Queen were basically 70s bands, and wouldn't have been the focus of discussion, though they were still going. More likely, the Police or Dire Straits, or U2, which had just released the landmark album "War".

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-07-13
Reviewid: 127098Chapter: 21
Excellent. I have no idea why I have the worst memory when it comes to reading your chapter updates. I love these fics. The way the language is used as well as the rhythm of their way of speaking was one of the things that created the background and tone of the story more than anything else. It really was escapism, as I don't believe I've ever heard anyone speak like that. I'd just like to say that I really enjoyed these stories, and I'm praying that the new canon doesn't rake whatever you have planned over the coals, should you continue this universe.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-13
Reviewid: 127041Chapter: 21
Of course once the McDougals see that it's happeining they take part. After all it's only "proper". But that's only in public of course. <grin>

Your amazing writing, with all of the finest detail that you put into it, made it seem like we were all at the wedding itself. The diffrent characters with all their personalities, the Macmillan cousin who just doesn't stop talking, it of course reminds us of pompus Ernie.

This entire story was fantastic. I enjoyed it very much. Thanks for writing it.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-13
Reviewid: 127039Chapter: 20
So Dawlish while carrying out the investigation, is still acting like his usual blundering self, but of course I'm not surprised. That's who he is. But the fact that "Mrs. Smith" has special talents, must confirm it to Ariadne?

------“Then I must ask Scrimgeour to show you out … wait, did you say No?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that’s a relief. You’re a sensible girl, and you said Yes. Scrimgeour, Mr Lupin and Miss MacDougal are just leaving.”------
Dawlish, is so completely pathetic, besides for being utterly lame.

------“Good bye, Cousin Lucius.” The fire crackled, and the hearth emptied. Ariadne turned to Remus. “Oh, dear. I’ll never have to enter Malfoy Manor again. And I just cannot force myself to be unhappy about it.” The tears were dry on her cheeks and she was almost smiling.------
The perfect wedding gift. LOL

Great Chapter.

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126851Chapter: 19
Phew! This is a very tense, emotionally and erotically fraught chapter! I loved reading it, but I suffered with Ariadne every step of the way. And what was worse, I sort of agreed with Remus, even though I'm usually an optimist. Good thing that Ariadne was so determined. It's so hard for him to actually take in that someone loves and desires him, let alone the person who is the object of his love and admiration. I don't blame him for taking such a long cold shower. After nearly being killed, I imagine the only thing he wanted to do was hold her in his arms all night long. It's a bit of a shame he has to be so honourable, but he wouldn't be Remus if he was anything else.

Favourite Lines:

"Ariadne folded her arms around his ribs and leaned against him, her head on his shoulder. His heart was thundering, his breath ragged, and his arms tightened around her convulsively in a protective, almost possessive, gesture, as if the terror of facing the assassins had only that second touched him. His cheek brushed hers, and she pressed her face against his, willing him to recognise that they were safe now.

For one absurd, timeless minute, she was waiting for him to kiss her." - yes, that endless space between not-touching and touching... very evocative writing.

"He wasn’t going to kiss her. Of course not. Faint with disappointment, she managed to say, “It does not matter, Remus. I was not minding.”" - poor Ariadne, I know how she feels.

"He had a beautiful voice, low and slightly hoarse, with infinite shades of expression. She caught herself absorbing its timbre instead of listening to his meaning." - did you base the voice on one you know? I see Ariadne's having to force her brain to work.

"His fingers were long and graceful, the scar from that long-ago bite faint on two of them … she made herself stop watching his hands as she settled herself back in the sofa, faced towards him... Instead, she watched the pattern of creases on his palms, the angle of his thumb, the path of the scar to his fingerprints. Once again, he restrained his hands from moving towards her, as if a second’s provocation would entice him to draw her head down onto his shoulder, and she wondered whether those slender fingers would ever touch her cheek …" - more intense attention to the details...

"For a moment his face seemed unguarded, and his attention was so entirely focused on her that it was as if he had touched her." - there's a reason why we use the expression 'undress with the eyes'.

"She could not entirely shut out the unworthy thought that she longed to smash his restraint and let their interactions become as complicated as they might be. Every grain of the rough upholstery against her cheek, every lifeless fold of her sleeve against her arm, was hinting that the touch of his hand would be softer, firmer, warmer." - I'd say it was a perfectly natural thought, given the circumstances!

"The blood rushed up to her ears. He was looking at her so intently that she couldn’t have torn her eyes away. She was almost dizzy trying to think of a sensible answer while all the heat in the room was coming from him, and his hands were at the other end of the sofa, and she was about to collapse against him, except that his eyes were fastening her immobile to the spot and …" - more evocative writing...

"A smile played around his mouth for the first time since they had entered the Chinese take-away, a smile that brought her closer to him than any touch, and her heart turned over." - beware the smile...

"He averted his head, as if he had been about to look in the wrong place. But there were no more wrong places; he could look everywhere for all she cared." - perhaps this is why men put women on pedestals... so they don't do anything wrong. ^^;;

"Those unexpected words were like a slap in the face, the more shocking because Remus could never slap anybody." - very true.

"Her heart buffeted her ribs, back and forth, so that she swayed with it." - the tension is unbearable.

"She was at his mercy, as fragile as glass; if he moved a step closer she would fall into his arms." - what makes it worse is that she wants this so badly.

"His touch burned; she willed herself to stay awake, to sear the caress into her memory, in case it never happened that he ever kissed her again." - she's never wanted anything this much, so she's frightened that something might go wrong.

"She was too tired to ask herself why he had needed to spend so long in the shower." - a funny ending to an intense chapter!

Lots of favourite lines, but this is one of my favourite chapters!

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126849Chapter: 18
Now I'm really wondering about this "Mrs. Smith" and I'm rather worried for Ariadne, even though Remus saved her and they managed to overpower Macnair and his henchman. There's obviously something to hide or they wouldn't have followed her and tried to attack her. I felt for her over the Memory Charms.

Favourite Lines:

"After that Remus Apparated to Slug and Jiggers two or three evenings a week; he always conceded Jigger the time until six o’ clock, but was merciless about insisting that Ariadne accompany him out of the shop no later than that hour. The young man who had sent the flowers was definitely not a favourite with the Jiggers. Yet once they had the evening together, neither Remus nor Ariadne did much except work. Even on the evenings when Remus couldn’t come to Diagon Alley, Ariadne found herself planning out his essays." - so cute! ^.^ A perfect example of how they fit. They can spend the evening working and be comfortable together.

"“Well, what’s worth remembering about ordering beef in plum sauce and receiving fifty pence in change? Have a lovely evening.”" - even funnier in the circumstances.

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126846Chapter: 17
It's so good to see Remus and Ariadne together again. The spectacle of Remus standing up to Mrs. Jigger is both funny and rather worrying because his physical health is so precarious. Their discussion illustrates just how they balance each other out and help each other to look outside their own mental boxes. Sarah and Ivor still make me laugh!

Favourite Lines:

"Remus was standing very quietly in front of the counter, his face very thin, as Belladonna’s words washed over him." - yes, Ariadne, feed him up, please!

"She was tempted to keep him guessing, but decided he looked a little too fragile for that game today." - bit scary.

"She smothered her first instinct to lean against him and caress his shoulder with her forehead – somehow, it was very clear that physical touch was yet against the rules." - but that will change. *smirk*

"“But only if you promise that your own inexplicable infatuation will not die of starvation as soon as the useful part is over.”

“No danger of that.”" - ha ha!

"“In other words, you don’t know how to write something that isn’t the truth. The point is, as we have discussed before, that sometimes you don’t tell the whole truth." - Ariadne doesn't like dealing in shades of grey.

"She thought of Ivor and Hestia, who had been joined at the hip since they were thirteen, whose life was an endless shared laugh if only Ivor could somehow work out a way to raise enough money to support the apparently expensive business of laughing together." - what a lovely description of the relationship.

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: TDUDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126811Chapter: 20
I almost forgot to review this chapter! I really wanted to comment on your portrayal of Snape right at the end. It was brilliant: he was doing the right thing (supporting Ariadne in her marriage whatever his personal misgivings were) but unable to do it without making her feel his opposition would have been preferable. It would be far more comfortable if we could just hate him without having to aknowledge the good in his character!

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126805Chapter: 19
This is kind of too fluffy for me, but hey I can still read it. And it was written very well. I can't wait to read more.

I'm glad they are safe from Mcnair's henchmen.

Great Chapter.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126803Chapter: 18
I'm glad you finally have the aurors investigating, even if Dawlish is the one...

An attack on them, Mcnair really has quite the influence, I just hope all of Ariadne's friends are also okay.

Reviewer: StuDate: 2005-07-10
Reviewid: 126729Chapter: 21
"The day on which the world was to be offended."

Very clever, but also not how Remus ought to be thinking about his wedding day! I feel so badly for him that most of the event was wasted on him worrying and doubting. And his first married words alone with Ariadne were about Snape! That's just anything but idyllic.

I'm wondering how the MacDougals explained to their friends the simplicity of the wedding. I thought it was traditional for weddings to be financed by the family of the bride. And they're pretending to support the whole thing.

I did love how all the friends (Remus's age and Ariadne's) worked together on the wedding, as though it were a group project as much as one of their walking trips. It's so sweet how Ariadne's friends have adopted Remus. But it's also not long before they'll notice his illness, now, is it?

Ernie was just perfect. He made me laugh. And Snape, after being so loyal to Ariadne in the last chapter, was positively slimy to Remus. I almost wonder if he plans to stand by her not out of loyalty, but spite.

I was shocked when Ariadne expressed worry about not being good enough for Remus. He must have been as well to not correct her. I suppose he was having a hard time concentrating on anything other than the part where he felt allowed to kiss her. He has the oddest set of scruples.

Reviewer: StuDate: 2005-07-10
Reviewid: 126702Chapter: 20
The part about Veleta was very frustrating because of the corruption and unfairness and fact that they never even mentioned the identification tests they were supposed to do, in case her memory had been modified. And does "Jane Johnson Smith" not scream, "Lame excuse for an alias!" in England as loudly as it does in America? Stupid Aurors. How long until Kingsley can look into the case?

"Mama, I'm going to marry him" Nothing if not to the point! I loved all her honest-but-misleading answers. And the conversation with Lucius. And Snape, who surprised me at first. He really does care.

Reviewer: Morag CamshronDate: 2005-07-09
Reviewid: 126660Chapter: 21
Awww — how sweet! I hope you write more on Ariadne and Remus. After all, we still don’t know about Veleta/Mrs Smith, nor do we know what happened to Ariadne. Obviously something happened to her (or between her and Remus, though the romantic in me has some difficulty believing THAT), as she isn’t mentioned in canon. Although I suppose it is possible (although highly unlikely, in this case, as she would be Remus’s wife) that she’s never mentioned because the books are told through Harry’s P.O.V. and he doesn’t know everything about Remus’s private life. Keep writing; I really enjoyed this fic!

- Morag Camshron

Reviewer: PeonybushDate: 2005-07-09
Reviewid: 126653Chapter: 21
Well, this time I am a bit lost for words. One thing is that I hate weddings with all of my heart and you managed to capture all the aspects that I find so disgusting about them. For example, the couple spend a lot of money they cannot afford to spend to invite people who despise them... Ah, and how I hated Ariadnes parents! First denying their daughter what she really wants and then insisting on a big wedding with lots of flowers without even offering financial assistance... Urgh! I just hope you do not get me wrong - the fact that you captured all this so perfectly, speaks for your ability to write so realistic.
I loved Remus' thoughts and the way it all felt surreal for him -- and the fact that Ariadne reminded him that all the people who really cared for them wished them well.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-07-09
Reviewid: 126642Chapter: 21
I loved your description of the wedding, how you balanced Remus' guilt at allowing this to happen, and his happiness. I can't believe they're actually married. But this can't be the complete end, can it? What about Veleta?

<“Your guilty secrets are buried under a veneer of social normality, you’ve gained connections with all the most respectable Wizarding families, you can soon expect an apothecary’s income to bolster your times of idleness, and you’ll have a pure-blood virgin in your bed. No man in your condition could dream of doing better.”>

Grr. And just when I was beginning to find him likable. Greasy git.

I loved your decription of the wedding, and how in spite of the grumbling guests and money shortages and Remus' worries it made me feel happy. I hope those two do get to be happy together *worries that Remus doesn't seem to have a wife in PoA*

Reviewer: MeaganDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126568Chapter: 21
Great job. I loved the characters. They all seemed so real--with real problems and real joy. On a side note, I thought Ernie was absolutely adorable here!

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126554Chapter: 20
Poor Ariadne- I felt so sorry for her having to defy her parents like that. After years of being more or less compliant that has to be difficult. I like the way she is so quietly resolute about it though, in the face of every persuasion and threat. I almost liked Severus here. He's nasty and offensive but at least he's not Lucius.

Dawlish is so stupid- first Macnair, then Umbridge. I hope Veleta really is alive and Remus and Ariadne manage to help her.

Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126541Chapter: 21
Next time you you say that it's the author's responsibility to play with her readers feelings I'll believe you.
How could I not have trusted you to do well for characters for whom you obviously had so much affection? Great work well done. Thank you. I do wonder, of course, if we'll see a sequel which explains why Remus is alone again by PoA, but must presume all such plans are on hold in anticipation right now.
Hoping that you and all yours are safe after recent events in Britain. Our prayers are with you.

Reviewer: AlexDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126528Chapter: 21
Brilliant, simply briliant. I've always wanted Remus to be happy, and you did this splendidly. Thank you for the hours of wonder!

Reviewer: arochwen romenDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126525Chapter: 21
Yaaay! But what happens later on? Are you planning on a sequel? Please don't tell me something happens to her, to explain her absence from the books.

Reviewer: TDUDate: 2005-07-08
Reviewid: 126492Chapter: 21
Ah! A happy ending after all - at least for now. This was such a beautiful story. I always hope Remus had some happiness after Halloween 1981 and you've provided him with some. Usually he is portrayed as being alone but what we do know from canon is that he is kind, friendly and rather amusing. He always seems to want to be liked so I am sure that he would make friends, as he has with Aradne's friens, even if he didn't allow himself to become as close to them as he did to the other marauders.

Reviewer: SlugabedDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126474Chapter: 21
Amazing. But it isn't the end, is it?

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126389Chapter: 17
"are you reserving the right to starve" "but you’ll not be escaping so easily today. Honestly, Remus, you’re looking as if you’ve not eaten for a week." "which we’re now knowing to" etc...
While I don't know my grammer very well, over here in the US, it sounds better "Do you reserve" "But you won't escape.." "you look as if..." "which we now know to"
Is that the right way of speaking in Scotland, or is it all of Britian?


I hope the aurors take up the case. Of course I'm also curious about the yellow folder...

Reviewer: CanopusDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126337Chapter: 19
Wow. What an amazing, complicated, nuanced chapter. It really does take more than one reading to grasp it...and even then I'm not sure I did. I had the impression that it was going to be fluffy in some way, but if that's fluff you've got me fooled.

I'm having some trouble structuring this review, so I apologize in advance for it being a bit scattershot.

As much as I feel for Remus as a character and consequently give him a *lot* of slack, I kept thinking he was being rather cruel to Ariadne in this scene. I mean, someone just tried to assassinate her, she can't go back to her apartment, her friends aren't even there if she could, her parents are completely useless and even unwittingly dangerous to her, all she really wants at this moment is to be held and comforted, and he's so wrapped up in preventing exploitation and mutual heartbreak that he makes her sit at the far end of the couch? She's gotten the cold fish treatment from her parents her whole life and now he's dishing out some more? He renigs on the sincerity of the embrace at the beginning ("please attribute it to state-of-emergency-conditions...I shouldn't have let it happen"--ouch), and then he gives her a peck on the forehead before fleeing and calls it a compromise? Remus, I don't care what kind of personal psychoses cold-shower-issues you have going on--you need to do better than that.

Whew. That was quite a rant, for me. You should congratulate yourself, GhV, on creating such a wonderful OC that I'm taking her side over one of my favorite characters. Well done.

My heart does ache for Remus too, though. He has such a poor opinion of himself that he gets all the proper motivations of love all muddled up. I follow what he says about young people making mistakes together and becoming disillusioned together (and I think Ariadne does too), but it made me really sad when he said:

"if you’ll excuse my speaking of your friend in this way – Sarah manages to pick men with money. Whereas I cannot give you any of the compensations with which older men usually lure young girls."

Now, clearly based his apology regarding Sarah, he's acknowledging the particluar problem with rich men and younger women, but still...are you implying, Remus, that you would feel somehow *better* about this if you had money and could attribute Ariadne's attraction to that?? I think that's one of Remus's biggest logical lapses yet so far. Thank goodness Ariadne called him on it--her ability to point out such lapses is proving important. And, I should certainly add that even while all this is happening I can see how much he really does love her. *sigh*

Okay, now for the embarassing part. I have to confess, I'm with Stu on this one:

“So,” he said, “we have an agreement?”

She nodded. “In July, after your exams?”

“Yes.”

Okay. I admit. You lost me. I got that they *agreed*--philosophically, I thought--on the Lewis quotations, but...the date? For what? Hand-holding and hugging? Marriage? I feel like I needed to have been there; like I missed a look or a gesture or something that would make me know what they were talking about specifically.

There's been a lot of speculation in your reviews about happy endings. I confess I still have no idea where this is going. Usually by this far I've got a story pegged, but this... As I and others have said before, canon doesn't exactly look encouraging, but I can't see Ariadne walking away from this easily, and in many ways she does have Remus wrapped around her finger, so I can't see him leaving either if she has anything to say about it. Which leaves a host of even uglier possibilities, but not soon, I think because Veleta still needs to be resolved not to mention the yellow folder. Hm.

I can't wait for more. Keep 'em coming!!

~Canopus

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126309Chapter: 16
This is a sweet chapter. I love how Ariadne gradually breaks down Remus's barriers by using his own logic against him, how he gave her confidence to believe in herself. It's a chapter of balances of giving and taking - Ariadne making Remus take her friendship and possibly more...

Favourite Lines:

"Sarah had broken up with her French boyfriend, and could not decide which coping strategy to adopt. Should she owl Jean-Philippe a description of the snowfall on the off-chance that it would rekindle his ardour? Should she accept a date with the “sexy Muggle photographer” who had already asked her twice? Should she angle for a dinner invitation from the manager “who is older and more likely to stay faithful over the distance”? Or should she foreswear all men “because they’re all bastards”?" - poor Ariadne; the last thing you want to do when you're having an emotional crisis is counsel someone else...

"What happened between us is not in question. You are dearer to me than anyone on earth. I still think of you every hour. Is that clear enough?" - *melts* short, sweet and to the point.

"Meanwhile, console yourself, as I do, with the knowledge that you have been profoundly loved." - you know, Remus, that's not exactly the kind of language to make a girl give up on you... ^^;;

"And however much Remus demanded that she respect his right to be unselfish, there was no question of allowing herself to be dismissed without a fight. Not when the stake was his happiness as well as hers." - that's right, Ariadne, don't give up!

"Friendship alone was not enough, but it was almost enough, and enormously better than nothing. But giving her nothing was probably the best way to protect her, since she had very obviously missed the point.

It did not occur to him that, by answering her letter, he was entering the debate and very tangibly giving her something." - hee hee, beware those feminine wiles...

"It seems that you are proposing that we forswear the certain happiness of being together because of the possible unhappiness that awaits us later. Instead, you wish us to embrace the certain unhappiness of separation, because it might possibly lead to an absence of unhappiness (a negative happiness) later. It strikes me as highly irrational to give up a certain good of a definite nature in order to obtain a possible good of an indefinite but negative nature; to choose a certain evil in order to avoid a possible evil that might, in fact, never occur." - I love the way Ariadne reasons it all out for him...

"“There is no card,” she replied truthfully. But of course she knew who had sent them." - it's easy to understand a message when you speak the same language...

Very cute!

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126304Chapter: 15
Even though this is a fairly short chapter, you manage to cram a great deal in, especially through the intensity with which Remus observes Ariadne. From the moment he sees her, his attention is fixated on her. The party, which should have been fun, is instead a subtle emotional torture... at least it ends on an upbeat note. ^^;;

Favourite Lines:

"Glenda hoped for a chat-show. That meant...? She wanted to interview Celestina Warbeck on the wireless, but that wasn’t strictly news. But she hoped to move out of news into a chat-show. An interview could open the door – the front door? Who was at the door? No, an interview would provide the opportunity to do something a little different." - really shows Remus's shock and disorientation.

"Ariadne was still sitting an inch away from his right. He could hear her every breath." - he's so tuned to her, even after all these months apart.

"Although she had her back to the doorway, she stiffened as soon as he entered; she had recognised him by the sound of his footsteps." - and it seems, vice versa. (Not that I'm surprised.)

"She listened to Arabella Figg about cats. She listened to John Chittock about clocks. She listened to Elphias Doge about politics. She listened to Agatha Chubb and Gladys Boothby about the history of Quidditch. She listened to Dedalus Diggle about puffapods and flitterbloom. Every time, her head was held high and pale, and every time, he knew she was not happy." - the social training comes in useful, at least.

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: jemDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126283Chapter: 19
You have wonderful insight into someone who absolutely cannot accept himself, and so firmly believes he is unlovable that he will not risk the possibility of it being true. And yet, the deep desire to be loved keeps slipping out. She is quite devoted and insightful: "he had sacrificed a small corner of his intergrity in order to give her a message." He is lucky, because most women would never understand him, and hence his fear -- that of being unlovable-- would become reality. There must be a message here somewhere...

Reviewer: GandalfinaDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126255Chapter: 19
Absolutely beautiful! Oh, for a happy ending!

Reviewer: TDUDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126245Chapter: 19
The JKR stories suggest this won't have a happy ending but I'm still rooting for one. I love your Remus portrayal: still won't let himself go and Ariadne: all highlander pride (I'm only 3rd generation but I still understand) so won't give in before he does. This is just beautiful.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126239Chapter: 19
I liked this chapter- how interesting that they were both quoting from the same book- I love CS Lewis, although I haven't read that book. I thought you built up the tension here really well- perhaps too well- I found myself wanting to shout at both of them for heavens sake just kiss each other willya? And now I will have to go into therapy for over- identifying with fictional characters. Again. :)

Reviewer: SlugabedDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126202Chapter: 1
I read my reviews, and realised that I keep typing 'Adriadne' when I know it's 'Ariadne.' Just wanted to point out that for some reason I keep typing Adriadne. UGH! There. I did it again. Ariadne, Ariadne, Ariadne... Forgive me.

Reviewer: SlugabedDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126199Chapter: 19
So I reread it ... twice again. Big deal. After reading it thrice, I'm beginning to find Remus endearingly exasperating. Please make him not push Adriadne away, and please make Adriadne be not so immersed in pride as to allow Remus's sacrifice. Gosh, I really am in love with your characters, more so with Remus. And Adriadne - she's so brutally honest. I love that about her, so please don't make her pretend. Remus, on the other hand, is TOO rational, and it makes me wonder whether they really will be happy ten years from now. Which leads me to the last point: Do not make them suffer any longer. Don't make it an unhappy ending. There're some fics where the characters, deserving or not, need an unhappy ending. But Remus and Adriadne most certainly do deserve a happy one. Can't wait for the next installment!

Reviewer: SlugabedDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126195Chapter: 19
I loved it. God, I absolutely loved it. You hadn't posted in SO many days, and I was fearing that it wouldn't be done by today either. You made my day, after the exponentially terrible one I had. Honestly, please, PLEASE continue this as soon as possible. Preferably right this second, but there're too many problems that come with that. I think if you were to write a chapter right this instant, you could, and it would be brilliant too. So please, NEVER, ever neglect this story. No matter what. I love the way Remus and Adriadne's relationship is progressing.

Reviewer: LoriDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126162Chapter: 19
I love the fact that updates have been coming so quickly... After spending several chapters thinking that Remus needed a (metaphorical) slap upside the head for walking out on her, I'm glad Ariadne was able to break through his reserve. The bit with the white flowers was an incredibly romantic image, and this new chapter just adds to the tension. Looking forward to more.

Reviewer: StuDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126159Chapter: 19
Woe is me. I am not British. I'm convinced that if I were I would actually know what just went on. It's not for want of careful reading. I stopped every three paragraphs or so and re-read, either to relish or try to comprehend. Did they just set their wedding date? Before kissing for the first time? And did they kiss on the lips or did he peck her on the forehead? I'm probably as confused as Ariadne. Just about different things.

I wanted this chapter to be longer! And I think Remus is the sweetest thing and that more hugging is in order. "His forehead corrugated." That's my new favorite way to express that.

There are at least two words missing, though. And I do not approve of Remus calling Ariadne 'Sweetheart.'

“If ruin is inevitable, then I’m wanting to be ruined with you, not at arm’s length from you."

Ariadne speaks so beautifully.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-05
Reviewid: 126074Chapter: 16
I'm glad Remus managed to get the letter written and convey what he wanted to put into it.

At least they get to talk by letter. They/You write great letters. :)

It's very interesting reading about Remus's perspetion of the werewolve, it's social problems and the like.

And that was an interesting end to the chapter, finishing off, with a symbolical touch. Great Chapter.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-07-05
Reviewid: 126073Chapter: 15
I'm glad they met by the party...

I hope we get to find out what Remus wrote in the letter, and I'm sure we will, hopefully from the next chapter.

Great Chapter.

Reviewer: StuDate: 2005-07-03
Reviewid: 125980Chapter: 18
That was exciting!

On re-read, the beginning was a little confusing because the first two words of the chapter are "After that," and it took me a minute to remember what "that" had been. And I got confused by pronouns a little bit after that, but, from then on out, I was completely absorbed.

I like the uniqueness of Remus and Ariadne's relationship very much. Your typical love letter is boring. A part of me is almost disappointed to know that it's going to be getting a step more normal in the next chapter. But I am odd.

The Auror interviewing Ariadne being named Dawlish--should that worry me at all? It was funny how the Jiggers almost wouldn't let him see her.

And why doesn't Veleta's photo move or wave? Are Auror photos special like that, or does it reflect something about her -- that she's under a spell suppressing her personality or something like that?

I hope they alert everyone in time. I try not to think about why we see some of the names in this story in OotP and not others.

Reviewer: SlugabedDate: 2005-07-03
Reviewid: 125977Chapter: 18
Dude, when ARE you updating. It's been more than ... er, two days, and you haven't updated! Isn't it usually quicker? All right, all right. Just don't put your class and style of writing at stake, even if it takes the longest while. Well, not THAT long. Oh, you know what I mean.

Reviewer: StuDate: 2005-07-03
Reviewid: 125940Chapter: 17
That was a fun chapter. I liked the rescue mission conspiracy very much. And it just happened to be very male.

Remus is still worried about Kingsley, is he? And Ivor has some personality in his owls that I get a kick out of.

But I did have a very hard time visualizing what Ariadne had in mind in this part: "She smothered her first instinct to lean against him and caress his shoulder with her forehead." Ariadne in my head morphed into my cat and I laughed, which completely ruined the moment.

And the folder switch... perfect. Just perfect. I was wondering why she'd be thinking about Jigger with Remus there... Yay!

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-07-02
Reviewid: 125892Chapter: 18
Ariadne's parents are her worst enemy, it seems. Though I suppose manytimes it worked out well, Ariadne's parents are the ones that made her study with Remus and they do think that they have her best interests at heart, and many times they are the best interests. Sorry, I'm being confusing. Another excellent chapter, and I am looking forward to the next one, which I am sure that you will not keep me waiting for.

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-07-02
Reviewid: 125890Chapter: 16
All those flowers? He's been encouraging her to cool it off for her own good. I know that you explained the meanings of all those flowers, but flowers will almost always be interpreted as a romantic gesture first. Rather confusing, I guess.

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-07-02
Reviewid: 125889Chapter: 15
It occurs to me how selfish Remus is being. Well, maybe selfish isn't the word, but he's afraid of not having control over the situation. The fact that Ariadne was more affected by it than he seemed to think she would be through him off, obviously, and the fact that he didn't get the chance to explain his actions, even more so. Ending the chapter with questions emphasises his uncertainty.

I'm sorry I haven't reviewed the chapters thus far. I went through a lot of them yesterday, but was caught up in the story, and didn't want to stop.

OT, but is that really the British version of spelling artifact, with an e? I don't know why that surprises me so much, it just does. Anyway, great bunch of chapters, as always, and I really regret putting them off this much.

Reviewer: StuDate: 2005-07-02
Reviewid: 125861Chapter: 16
Surrender! An actually enjoyable chapter!

I am half jealous of Ariadne and half worried for her. I am jealous because she's found out she wasn't actually wrong about Remus and gotten her faith in herself back the easy way. And flowers, too! And swoon-worthy delcarations of love!

I am worried that her whole world has shifted so drastically, though. It seems almost dangerous that shw could be *so* depressed and then *so* cheered on account of him.

"What happened between us is not in question. You are dearer to me than anyone on earth. I still think of you every hour. Is that clear enough?'

Wonderful!

"Meanwhile, console yourself, as I do, with the knowledge that you have been profoundly loved."

Sigh.

Reviewer: StuDate: 2005-07-01
Reviewid: 125758Chapter: 15
This chapter was just torture, but the pleasant kind. Having them so close together, but unable to properly talk, then poor Ariadne having to talk to Remus, thinking what she thought, and then them being torn apart again. I could read the conversation Remus and Ariadne had in the kitchen over and over. I always enjoy what they leave unsaid as much as what they do say.

And then, of course, Remus's plan being doomed. He wrote her a letter.

Reviewer: Antonia EastDate: 2005-06-30
Reviewid: 125735Chapter: 18
Remus and Ariadne are awfully sweet for a couple who do their homework together! I'm sorry that I never think up reviews that do this story justice - but I really do love reading it. Both the mystery and romance plots have me on utter tenterhooks.

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-06-30
Reviewid: 125729Chapter: 14
It's funny how Remus is trying to move on, but everything reminds him of Ariadne. I liked how he gently put off Nicky and ended up teaching his fellow students: very Remus. Christmas and New Year's Eve are the saddest times of the year for lonely people, I felt for Remus when you described this time for him. The visit to Mrs. Pettigrew was wonderful, she was exactly how I imagined her - even keeping the finger enbalmed. I love the mention of mistletoe. As for the ending - dramatic or what?

Favourite Lines:

"All Hogwarts students learned to take good notes; one could scarcely learn anything in Professor Binns’ lessons otherwise; but Remus could hardly admit that he had learned the skill from a ghost." - the one thing you can perfect in his lessons, note taking skills.

"He swallowed his shock. She was probably exaggerating. “I can’t believe you’re all that desperate,” he said." - since they're Muggles, they don't know about werewolves, so desperation is out.

"Remus had to look, but he wondered why he wasn’t in the mood to oblige Mrs Pettigrew. He ought to feel sorry for her, after all she had lost, but somehow he found himself wondering if she had enjoyed all the media attention when Peter had died." - well, for one thing, it's pretty revolting to look at a severed finger, because that's not how he wants to remember Peter; as for enjoying the attention, like mother like son.

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-06-30
Reviewid: 125726Chapter: 13
A very interesting chapter about Jigger and his missus. I love her name. It seems they suit each other very well in terms of personality. The description of Ariadne's job is fascinating. Is there any significance in giving her the middle name 'Lucy'? Is it the meaning of 'light', a nod towards Lucy in the Narnia series, or simply a nod towards Remus's common middle name?

Favourite Lines:

"For somebody who so consistently boycotted homework, Sarah really had done better than anybody could have predicted." - that kind of person is always so frustrating.

"Sarah agreed to let the napellus take up the whole of their tiny growing space “because it’s a point of historic interest to be able to claim any kind of present from Snape.”" - ha ha, very true! And only because Ariadne is family...

"This was apparently because most apothecaries believed that the best way to lose weight was to eat less and exercise more." - but that would require work and self-discipline, and who wants those?

"And that, it appeared, was the end-point of the subtle science and exact art of potion-making. Those who researched medicines did nothing more significant than save lives; but those who researched cosmetics and appetite-suppressants had a serious option on making money." - I hope Ariadne isn't going to become *too* disillusioned with her chosen profession.

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-06-30
Reviewid: 125722Chapter: 12
The descriptions in this chapter are really evocative: the way Ariadne feels on leaving her parents, and the wonderful old home that she is now inhabiting with her friends. Her self-doubt and longing are realistic and it's very easy to empathise with her.

Favourite Lines:

"The usual problem was not murder, but all the small everyday issues that were never spoken in words … when people were worried, when they were lying, when they would not admit that they needed help … when they were truly hurt and when they were just trying to manipulate you … when they truly agreed and when they were simply trying to avoid a quarrel … the difference between genuinely wanting to help and only being dutiful, between merely wishing for company and desiring another’s specific friendship …" - poor Ariadne, realising this so late... well, I feel it's rather late in her life.

"Morag was not deflected. “Auntie, are you yet sad? You were sad all the days you were at home.”" - seems like Morag takes after her auntie in perception, if not talent.

"“This telephone doesn’t need electricity, it works like a wireless. They call it a mobile phone. But it makes a horrible noise when a Muggle wants to ring me, and I can’t do my work without it.”" - wow, Sarah's parents are rich if they can afford a mobile phone in the 1980s!

"Ariadne suddenly wondered why she only ever thought about money in connection with Remus." - because she can never have enough of Remus? Sorry, bad joke.

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-06-30
Reviewid: 125720Chapter: 11
This is a very funny chapter, perhaps because of the undercurrent of sadness and longing running through it: the best comedy is based on tragedy, after all. Remus's determination is admirable, even if his mindset is a little blind. You admirably summed that up in his dreams.

Favourite Lines:

"“For some reason, Charms always comes up as ‘English Grammar’ and Defence against the Dark Arts as ‘Mathematics’." - wow, I'd be really bad at DADA, then. *lol*

"Remus decided not to ask what a computer was at this stage." - fortunately, they weren't so common at this stage...

"It wasn’t that he absolutely could not cook – he had learned all the basic recipes when he was ten years old – but that it always seemed too much trouble when there was only himself to eat the food, and when there was a world outside that needed saving from Voldemort." - funny and true, and also sad.

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: PeonybushDate: 2005-06-30
Reviewid: 125714Chapter: 18
Still a wonderful story. Seems quite in character for these two to be content with working side by side. But then, Remus still keeps his distance, and Ariadne does not dare (or knows wisely not to) step over the walls he puts around himself. And I still haven't told you how good it was to see Ariadne get her confidence in her perceptions back.
Only now it seems life is becoming dangerous for all who poked into the Veleta question. I look forward and fear to read on at the same time.

Reviewer: CanopusDate: 2005-06-30
Reviewid: 125675Chapter: 18
Me again. I invented a word and then spelled it wrong, which makes it rather incomprehensible. I meant to say that I loved Remus's preaMble-less declaration. Meaning, he jumped right to the good stuff. Yeah. Sorry. *shrug*

Reviewer: CanopusDate: 2005-06-30
Reviewid: 125674Chapter: 18
Wow, four chapters to comment on...you're wonderful!! I'm going to thank you for them all in one fell swoop. 15 and 16 have some great 'soul-searching,' as you put it. I like the juxtaposition of these two thoughts of Remus's--talk about conflicted:

"Clearly, she had not yet become indifferent to him. She must still think about him. Perhaps she even thought about him fairly often.

He had been wise to give her a wide berth."

And...

"He only wanted to corner Ariadne and beg her, Tell me your problem, let me know everything."

*snort* There's a :headdesk moment if I've ever seen one. But their mutual respective maturity does in fact prevail, and Ariadne IS able to tell him what's wrong despite how uncomfortable it makes her. This is an incredibly unusual fic in that respect and one of the things that draws me to it most. It's refreshing to find a story that has drama and angst but doesn't resort to the old miscommunication/misunderstanding device. Obviously there has been a misunderstanding here, but true to their characters, Remus and Ariadne discuss it like adults. The trick is writing a fic that includes functional human communication and real issues and challenges as well. You've done that beautifully here, and it makes your story compelling and unique.

Umm...chapter 16? What can I say? The best one of all for those of us softies in your readership. Of course the flowers were wonderful and gave me gooey insides, but I really think the best part was the letters. Naturally I *loved* Remus's preable-less declaration in the first one...(pause while I dwell on that some more)...hmmm, yeah, okay.

Letter-writing suits these two's personalities (ugh, grammar police anyone?), and they are awfully good at it. It was a kick to see Ariadne plotting her way through them, using the very tools that Remus relies upon (and taught her) to bend him to her side of the argument. But I never get the impression that Remus is being an idiot (well, except for the occasional :headdesk moment as above); his concerns are very sincere, his arguments are well-founded despite the crack that Ariadne finds, and you really can't blame him for being cagey and protective of his own heart and reluctant to involve hers. Thank goodness for her 'brutal honesty' in the last paragraph of the last letter, when she spells out explicitly that her heart is *already* involved. As good as her logical argument was, I felt like this was a critical part of the letter--this was the part that appealed to the 'tell me all your problems' side of Remus, where the other addressed the 'I was right to give her a wide berth' side.

At this point, you'll probably be glad to know that I have less to say about the last two chapters. ;) Not that they weren't brilliant as well, but they are more plot-driven and focus on the Veleta mystery, which seems to require less analysis. Suffice to say that Ariadne definitely ramped up the challenge on the Macnairs, and boy, did they ever respond. Straight to Avada Kedavra?? Wow. I was really shocked by that. They must have something big up their sleeves, but I'm very curious to find out how this turns out based on the fact that Walden Macnair is still trusted Ministry personnel in POA (naturally the thought of 'what's become of Ariadne since then?' has gone through my head as well, but I'm ignoring it). Even if Veleta does decide to stay Jane Smith, the Aurors must know now that the Macnairs are circumstantially implicated in a murder attempt based on the thugs' outfits. So there's no way they can let it rest now. Curious. And Veleta? The kids? Whose??? I must say it sounds potentially very squicky. I can't wait to find out more.

And finally, the critical burning plot-driving question: where did he Apparate them to??? ;)

Okay, so maybe I didn't have much less to say about the last bit! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my little dissertation (unlike Ivor, I am quite well aware of what 'garrulous' means)! I don't usually have so much to say about a fic, but then most authors don't provide me with so much high-quality speculatable material. Nicely done, as always. I am, of course, eagerly awaiting more.

~Canopus

PS: Can't resist saying that despite her diet pill woes, I hope Ariadne finds time for the yellow folder soon...and gets hold of the right sp. of Aconitum! Go for it, girl! :)

Reviewer: SlugabedDate: 2005-06-29
Reviewid: 125641Chapter: 18
Your writing's so odd ... so very pretty. That's the first thing I noticed when I started reading your work. Do continue your goodness, because I'm loving every second of it.

Reviewer: TrueDate: 2005-06-29
Reviewid: 125634Chapter: 18
I hope it's Veleta, I love her. I'm so glad Remus and Ariadne are together again! :)

Reviewer: gimuDate: 2005-06-29
Reviewid: 125625Chapter: 18
Oh wow! keep posting so quickly - it seems you have already finished the whole story - have you? I'm really enjoying it!

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-06-29
Reviewid: 125615Chapter: 16
Grace, I think it's high time I came out from the shadows and reviewed again. I have been following this story and the one before it, but due to time constraints and a one track mind ;D, I've read some of the parts more superficially than others, concentrating mostly on the relationship with Remus and Ariadne. I therefore have not felt worthy of reviewing, because your amazing level of effort and care deserves the same from a reviewer. But I had to come out today after reading the last two chapters and compliment you. There is so much depth to your two protagonists and their slowly evolving relationship has seemed so real. The way you convey so much through letters is also beautifully done. I love Ariadne with all of her gifts, yet the insecurities of youth and her kind nature which, unfortunately, have allowed her to open herself up to hurt again. I hope Remus comes around, but writing a pre-POA Remus/OFC romance myself, the future looks grim, doesn't it. Your level of detail blows me away. This is a truly beautiful story.

Reviewer: GandalfinaDate: 2005-06-29
Reviewid: 125611Chapter: 18
Er . . . still no touching? What are we going to *do* with these two???? I certainly can't think of a better excuse for touching than that utterly romantic delivery to the shop . . . *sigh*. Along with their True Love. *sigh* again.

Somebody dope slap Remus for me, 'k? Oh, well. At least I can hope that they Apparated to his place, and maybe something will develop . . .

The other parts of the story are coming along nicely, tho. Looking forward to more, as always.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-06-29
Reviewid: 125595Chapter: 18
Oh no! I hope the others will all be alright. I know Hestia won't die, but what about Ivor and Sarah? Thank goodness Remus was there to pick up on the policemen, though. I magine if Ariadne had been on her own...
Still, it looks like Macnair really has got something big to hide. I can't wait to see what the Aurors find when they talk to Veleta (if they ever get to)

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-06-29
Reviewid: 125594Chapter: 17
I really liked this chapter. Silly Remus, thinking that Ariadne will go off him. I wonder what will happen next with the Veleta mystery, and whether the Auror's will be able to help- I'm worried MacNair will find out if they report it...
I really don't like those Jigger's at all. I magine not allowing Ariadne to have lunch! It's good she has such nice friends. Sarah's story about her date made me laugh- I would give a great deal to see that man's face as she vanished under his nose...

Reviewer: StuDate: 2005-06-29
Reviewid: 125560Chapter: 15
Just wanted to let you know I'm reading and enjoying (Very much! You're not as evil as I'd feared!) although I don't expect to be awake enough to review properly for a few days yet.

Reviewer: PeonybushDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125515Chapter: 16
What a lovely picture! They do speak the same language after all - there can't be too many people who would have understood this message at once or who would have been able to send such a message.
(I must hurry to finish my work but I could not resist reading this first and I don't regret it!)

Reviewer: GandalfinaDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125504Chapter: 16
Oh, thank God! You didn't make us wait long for this splendid development! I couldn't even review the past few chapters because I was so anxious about what was going to happen.

Surrender! How lovely. And what a lovely way for Remus to express that. I love the letters back and forth, but the flowers are sooooo wonderful. Absolutely can't wait for the next chapter.

What I *want* to have happen is that they live Happily Ever After. I know that unless you are developing an alternate reality from canon, that won't happen. :-( However, if they can have at least some measure of happiness, maybe I will be satisfied. At least Ariadne knows Remus loves her, and is no longer spiraling down, down, down. I was worried you were going all melodramatic, and her life would be ruined by this. She would be so depressed and lose so much self-esteem, Jigger would start to seriously abuse her; she would become a death-eater's pawn; she would be sold into the white slave trade. Yikes! Thanks for not going there! And Remus has come around -- Yes!

I only have one niggling little criticism. In this chapter and the last, you suddenly started using a strange grammatical form, whose name escapes me (after all, it *has* been a long time since public school), but which consists of using the verb "to be" with the -ing form of the verb, and it sounds more stilted than normal speech. In fact, it sounds like Dobby talking. Here's what I mean:

"Does it not make you happy to be thinking that you will become a teacher?" (instead of, ". . .happy to think that . . . ")

"Are you not glad to live among people who will never suspect your lycanthropy because they are not believing the condition exists?" (rather than ". . . because they do not believe. . .")

"Even if we lose the gamble (which I am not believing we will) . . . " (. . . which I do not believe we will)

"I’m thinking you’re not needing to worry, Mrs Jigger." (I don't think you need to worry . . . )

Not every instance of your using the -ing form of the verb is awkward sounding. Sometimes the usage is just right. I wish I could remember the name of the grammatical form, but I think you get the idea. I don't say this to be discouraging, but this just stands out in an otherwise beautifully written story.

Carry on!

Reviewer: SlugabedDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125495Chapter: 16
*Giggle* Gosh, it's soooo sweet. And I feel so pathetic feeling all sappy, and yeah ... CONTINUE, AND CONTINUE SOON!

Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125476Chapter: 16
One day I will r4ead this all in one fell swoop, go to whoa, and all my objections and anguish will be answered and remedied in the next few chapters. You could have finished the story with Remus' departure from the farm. And you could finish it here too... but you haven't have you? I look forward to the end, very happy to trust you to take us there in good order. You have certainly more than met my concerns about Ariadne's faith in her judgement being shattered, and you've redeemed Remus by giving him cause and opportunity to give the explanation due.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125473Chapter: 16
Aww, this was so lovely!

<Of course you were not mistaken. Nor am I in denial. What happened between us is not in question. You are dearer to me than anyone on earth. I still think of you every hour. Is that clear enough?>

*swoons* Poor Remus doesn't he realise that no woman could resist a pronouncement like that? And I loved Ariadne resolutely not sending her replies till after five days had past- that made me laugh. The pupil outwits her tutor! It's so nice when logic is on your side.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125471Chapter: 15
I liked this chapter, although I felt very sorry for them both especially Ariadne- awkward situations make good drams, though ;). I can't wait to see how Ariadne reacts to Remus' explanation.

Reviewer: TDUDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125465Chapter: 16
A happier ending this time! Thanks.

Reviewer: Beech TreeDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125450Chapter: 16
**catching my breath**

That is the most beautiful, romantic (fanfic) scene I've ever read.

You are definitely in your stride.

Reviewer: Beech TreeDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125428Chapter: 14
Grace, in the last 6 chapters you have really hit your stride with the characters, the story, and more importantly your writing. I really felt the longing, the anxiety, and the despair for Remus and Ariadne. I appreciate your writing of the characters with honesty and mature mental and emotional depths that are often times lacking.

Excellent work!

Reviewer: CanopusDate: 2005-06-27
Reviewid: 125415Chapter: 14
I'm embarrassed that it should take such a cliffie as this to get me to write a response, but I want you to know that I've been following your story with bated breath for some time now. It is fantastic! I'm dying to know just what sort of fireworks are about to occur at this New Year's party (that's quite the setting you've given us). Normally these two are very level-headed about their interactions, but with Ariadne's new doubt about her instincts and Remus' bizarre idea that she 'escaped' the werewolf (as if that's something Ariadne would congratulate herself on--come on Remus, you know her better than that!!!)...well, this could be interesting.

So, I'm on tenterhooks for more, which, based on the way you've been going, looks like it will come with the next SQ update...

Thanks for a great story,
Canopus

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125291Chapter: 14
Great chapter. I loved how Remus started teaching his fellow students, and how hw was so shocked when they bad- mouthed the teacher. I loved your characterisation of Mrs Pettigrew and the claustrophobic atmosphere you built up in this scene. She does *not* strike me as a nice person.

<He was staring straight into the Gaelic-blue eyes of Ariadne MacDougal.>

Gosh! I can't wait to see how this plays out. Will they talk? Will Ariadne be made at him? Will Remus leave? It will be so nice to read some kind of interaction between those two, even if it is a painful one. What a cliffhanger!

~Seaspray, holding her breath.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125288Chapter: 13
Interesting that part about the plant- I wonder what Snape is up to? And what was in the blue bottle? I'm not sure I like those Jiggers- poor Ariadne, first shampoo, now diet pills! I wonder if she'll ever have time to find out more about poor Veleta?

Reviewer: PeonybushDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125271Chapter: 14
Still wonderfully written with marvellous original ideas. I was pretty shocked to see Ariadne lose her confidence in her judgement (or whatever it is) of other people and wondered whether Remus would have reacted differently if he had known what the consequences of his leaving would be. It was also very enlightening to be shown how we all can never be sure who to trust, although we do it all the time - and to think how great the shock must be for Ariadne who always knew instinctively what other people were feeling... Well, she still knows, but now she doesn't trust herself - pretty unsettling. I loved to see Remus's progress and now I am curious how their meeting will transpire.

Reviewer: JessamyDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125256Chapter: 14
What an evil cliffhanger! Well, great job anyway. I'm not too angry with you, since you update so frequently. I just wanted to let you know that I'm still hooked on your story. I don't have anything to criticize because it's just perfect. Happy writing!

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125255Chapter: 14
I loved reading Remus' "adventures" in a muggle college. I found Remus' igonrance on the funny side. Although Remus is not the only one without a "telly". We don't have one in my family either. (And I can't say that I wish had one either.)

Nice to know that Remus' teaching ability made it's use at teaching school also. He really has a talent.

Nice to know that he met Ariadne again. I can't wait to see what happens at the party. Great Chapter.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2005-06-26
Reviewid: 125254Chapter: 13
Great Chapter. I enjoyed hearing their marks. Although I wonder, Did Kingsley really need six "O"'s to get into the Auror's?

Snape sent Ariadne a present!?

I hope Ariadne starts enjoying the appreticeship more, though I wonder how she'll do on the "weight suprressant" pill. Looking forward to finding out what's in that potion...

Reviewer: Antonia EastDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125224Chapter: 14
Oh goody - I'm glad they met up. I was feeling so sorry for both of them (though jealous of Remus's teaching abilities, having been on a teaching course today).

Reviewer: gimuDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125159Chapter: 14
Oh no - this story is so good I want to read the rest of it NOW!!! Please continue to post so regularly!

Reviewer: SlugabedDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125105Chapter: 14
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! You're evil. You can't just stop there! Good Lord, you're evil. And really amazing. Continue, and quickly, please!

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125096Chapter: 10
Well, I knew this was coming. Because Remus is the way he is, and Ariadne is the way she is, I knew it had to happen. I just really feel sad that Ariadne assumes he never really cared for her. Of course, Remus would say that means she'll be able to get over him easier... but what does he know?

I don't hate you, by the way. ;-)

Favourite Lines:

"By the way, it was Theseus who drank the Forgetfuless Potion; Ariadne was the one forgotten. We are obviously needing to invest in a good Greek Mythology text to read over summer …" - ack, the irony... :(

"For all that her parents considered her a child, unable to take a Floo without adult supervision or to complete her homework without being reminded, it seemed that she now had their permission to leave their household. They really were trying to let her grow up. She was grateful, but it reinforced that Kincarden was no longer her home." - I know that feeling of betwixt and between; also, Remus's absence has taken all warmth and intimacy from the home...

"More than the touch of his hand, more than the sight of his face or the sound of his voice, she wanted his words." - really shows how they have a connection of minds, how much she's relied upon him to help her through...

"That night she was able to cry. She cried herself to sleep, while the everlasting candle continued to burn." - ah, the symbolism...

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: StuDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125087Chapter: 13
Ariadne made me sad, thinking that Remus wouldn 't be interested in her NEWTs, and even unable to enjoy them herself. But Lucy was a surprising middle name for her. And the boys and their boyishness amused me. Only, is it a bad thing that I didn't know there was a right way to iron, either?

Why on earth did the Macnairs send cards? Such an odd gift. I hope they're not cursed. I hope the same about Lucius's earrings. I am a bit paranoid.

As for Snape's (acontium?) napellus, the genus/species confusion and blue flowers are definitely both familiar. And I might be able to guess his subliminal message as well.

Jigger's secret potions have me rather stumped.

And I hope, in light of the next chapter, that Ariadne's misery in this one is nearly over.

Reviewer: StuDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125082Chapter: 14
He's met Ariadne! I was so hoping she'd be there... I don't even care whether or not they're near that mistletoe. In fact, I'd rather they not be. I'm just glad they're seeing each other. Hopefully they won't both go pretending they don't care thinking it's for the other's sake. Anyway, I don't think they'd be able to keep it up.

I am not ignoring the other 99% of the chapter, though. I enjoyed the dead-on stereotyping of a teacher-preparation program. How some many Dr Foggs end up teaching about education is beyond me. Remus was a little imprecise with phonemic awareness, though. And I wonder if this part took the same amount of research to create realistically as the OWL results did.

Ah, those crazy Muggles with their funny vcabulary, obsessions with sports, and lives spent glued to the television. It all seemed very familiar and I couldn't figure out why until I realized that studying abroad is a little like being a wizard in the Muggle world.

I was probably as shocked as Remus when the girl with the trace of Ariadne's accent burst out like that. Just not right! But Ariadne is there now, and I can pretend until the next update the the cruel author isn't going to tear her and Remus apart again after going through all the trouble of setting up their meeting.

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2005-06-24
Reviewid: 125063Chapter: 9
I feel so sorry for poor Remus. Although I'm also quite miffed with him for taking all the blame on his shoulders, as if Ariadne had no choice, as if he'd *forced* her. Why doesn't he just accept that he's an intelligent, literate, attractive man? Well, I know why he doesn't accept that, but he will just have to accept that Ariadne thinks he is. :P

Favourite Lines:

"Despite what someone was doing to Ariadne, Remus never forgot the way she brought her problem straight to him. Even the suspicion that she had a mysterious enemy could not spoil the few days when most of her attention was so focused on him." - yeah, I think you should take the hint, Remus.

"Nice to hear from you again, are you and Ariadne still a couple? She’s totally cagey with her FRIENDS about what’s going on, one day one of us will guess it wrong and make a major social forks pass." - I'm not sure whether to laugh at Ivor's nosiness or groan at his French.

" According to some person unnamed, I am meddling, misfocused, misguided, lazy, dishonest and a garrulous talker. (Had to look up “garrulous” in the dictionary afterwards.)" - at least Ivor's vocabulary was expanded. :P

"The goblins also claimed they didn’t care a ruddy toss as long as I was willing to meddle in high finance and bring back piles of gold for Gringotts." - bless them. :D

"He fought to control his astonishment at the same time as he suppressed his horror at the situation he had created around them both, only to discover that the emotion he was suppressing was not horror at all, but a wild, surging (and unsuppressable) joy." - well, it's always nice to know someone feels the same way; and you didn't do ANYTHING! Except be yourself. Which you couldn't help. :P

"(She was also the most beautiful woman on earth, but he would ignore that detail.)" - ignore? Right.

"He dropped her bag on the doorstep before he knew what he was doing. He stiffened his arms in time; he had been about to embrace her. No. His arms ached." - so painfully true.

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: StuDate: 2005-06-23
Reviewid: 124981Chapter: 12
This chapter I found very interesting, but not because of all the details about the new living arrangements and Sarah's job (which was funny). It was interesting because one half of me was thinking how stupid Ariadne is being to quit trusting herself at all, while the other half knows full well that I spent months around her age doing much the same thing. This chapter reminded me vividly of how confusing it is to be unable to trust yourself.

I do not understand, though, why Ariadne ever thought of money in connection with Remus, other than when buying him his Christmas present. It's the end of the chapter, so it seems important, but I feel like I'm missing something.

Reviewer: StuDate: 2005-06-23
Reviewid: 124979Chapter: 11
Well, I've officially given up on trying to review 9 and 10. I've re-read them, but can't put together anything more coherent than, "Woe! And misery!" And that I sighed at the letters before Ariadne's Astronomy final. So we're moving on to 11, if that's okay.

So Remus has decided not to just wander south doing farmwork. That is good. The first half of this chapter is so full of little details! It must have taken forever to work out, but it's all very interesting.

No crass dreams, Remus! You must clearly go find Ariadne so you can stop having them. They didn't start until you left her, did they? So you are subconsciously more ethical when you are around her.

Reviewer: Mizuki hikariDate: 2005-06-23
Reviewid: 124953Chapter: 12
I love it, but I feel tearful, because there relationship is gone, they look good together(TT.TT *sniff*)

Reviewer: Morag CamshronDate: 2005-06-22
Reviewid: 124836Chapter: 12
Oh, Adrienne, don’t doubt yourself… or your intuition! I do hope that things end up happily for the two of them (Remus and Adrienne) — they both definitely deserve each other. Your writing flowed really well in these last two chapters and I’m looking forward to your next post.

- Morag Camshron

Reviewer: PeonybushDate: 2005-06-21
Reviewid: 124783Chapter: 11
This was marvellous. I never expected Remus to enrol in a Muggle teacher training college, The idea of translating the certificates was as brilliant as unique. I quite look forward to seeing what happens next.

Reviewer: SlugabedDate: 2005-06-21
Reviewid: 124768Chapter: 12
It's so incredibly sad. Do continue!

Reviewer: MeaganDate: 2005-06-21
Reviewid: 124727Chapter: 12
Wow, I love this story. It's very well-written and the characters are so real. I've practically forgotten Remus as Harry sees him, and instead see him as a young wizard with everyday problems. It was heart-wrenching when he had to stop communication with Ariadne.

I can't wait to read more. Do you already have an ending in mind? To me it would seem like Ariadne would be the one to invent the Wolfsbane potion. She's awesome at potions and has a vested interest in werewolves. Well, that's just my two cents. Keep up the good work and good luck!

The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For questions, please send us an Owl!

-- Powered by SQ3 : Coded by David : Design by James --