The Sugar Quill
Sugar Quill Community
- S.P.E.W (SQ History)

Fan Fiction and Writing
- Ask Madam Pince
(Story Submissions)
- Floo Network (Links)


Administrative Links

Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Beating Tom
Review(s): 43

Reviewer: mary ellisDate: 2007-02-02
Reviewid: 147070Chapter: 2
'...we’d actually have to learn everyone else’s language as well as our own'--what a neat thought, and not surprising that it comes from Luna. Languages are so complex; this is a fine metaphor for the complexity of a person: their history and their reflections on that history, replicating and transforming it. Your characterizations are dead on track. Thanks. iIdon't usually have much use for Ginny, but you make her someone I really want to know better.

Reviewer: imeldaDate: 2007-01-02
Reviewid: 146712Chapter: 1
Wow. I've just read the first chapter, and that is wonderful. Your version of what Ginny's possession must have been like is so detailed, so faithful to canon, and 100% believable. That was amazing. The way you have Tom toying with Ginny so much fits perfectly with his sadistic nature, but more importantly, it explains what Ginny must hear when the Dementors are around. I mean, as we have it in the books, it seems like she doesn't have any memory of what she did. But your version shows what might have happened between the moments of possession, and it's fantastic!

And the ending of the chapter makes so much sense--poor Ginny, so young and scared of getting in trouble, and completely misjudging the possible consequences of telling or not telling. The bit about Harry hating her is particularly on point.

I have only one qualm--I did NOT find believable when Tom used the Cruciatus on Ginny. I think your story is much stronger when it sticks to the mental torment she went through--you understand that so well--and the physical torture seems out of place and improbable.

But other than that, I just want to say that it was amazing! And I'm glad there are four more chapters to read!!!

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-12-22
Reviewid: 146581Chapter: 5
Quite good - thanks.

Reviewer: luckylib14Date: 2006-08-22
Reviewid: 144948Chapter: 5
Wow. I just.. Wow.

This is the only fanfiction I read where tears actually obscured my vision while reading the last chapter!

Fantastic, really ties off Ginny's point of view and I sure as hell am glad that she's not waiting for Harry anymore, though I do love the ending where Harry says he wrote the letter so many times. So sweet!!!

Beautiful fanfic, absolutely love it. :)

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-08-14
Reviewid: 144801Chapter: 5

Reviewer: HarmoniousDate: 2006-08-02
Reviewid: 144603Chapter: 5
This whole fiction is brilliant. You have Ginny's character perfectly. I've thoroughly enjoyed every chapter.

Thank you for such a good piece of work.


Reviewer: AryaDate: 2006-07-27
Reviewid: 144498Chapter: 5
J, this was awesome. I really enjoy Ginny fics, but this was excellent. You really wrote her well. You shold write another one for HBP. :D

Reviewer: NunduDate: 2006-07-25
Reviewid: 144430Chapter: 4
After reading your latest new piece, I came back to revisit your old ones. Always a delight. One nit-picky bit though, in Chapter 4, Luna, I assume, is referring to CoS year, to which she and Ginny would refer to it as '1st year', rather than second.

Reviewer: ArchieDate: 2006-05-02
Reviewid: 142473Chapter: 1
Love that title, Flushing the Dark Lord. That's gotta be a talking point for Ginny. Hey, once I flushed Voldemort down the loo!

Enjoyed all of this but specifically Chapters 4&5, which I thought would have been great in OoTP, which is probably my least favourite of the books.

I had to stop somewhere in chapter 5, I think when Ginny snaps, I was welling up. Ginny Rocks!!!

Reviewer: AstridDate: 2005-10-26
Reviewid: 135169Chapter: 5
This is wonderful! You had me almost crying twice. Ginny is very in character, as is everyone else. I'd love it if you rewrote the 5th chapter and maybe added a sixth to follow the new canon. It's just so good I hate to see it end before Ginny and Harry's relationship!

Reviewer: prplhez8Date: 2005-08-02
Reviewid: 128566Chapter: 3
Did you have any idea of how much you were foreshadowing HBP? Are you channeling JK?

Once again, I love the relationship you've established between Hermione and Ginny. Ginny's compassion towards Neville is true to her nature. This chapter reads like a missing moment out of JK's world and I love how your "voice" seems to blend so well into her world and into Ginny's world.

Again, well done!


Reviewer: prplhez8Date: 2005-08-02
Reviewid: 128562Chapter: 2
'kay I'm here. Better late than never and all that...right?

I love this chapter and the friendship dynamic between Hermione and Ginny. The way you've written these two young women is spot on in characterization and I feel a true hidden moment, considering what we now know about HBP...

Ginny's fear and guilt over Hermione's petrification and the way you've written her debilitating fear strikes a chord deep into the young woman that Ginny will become.

Well done, J! Well done!

Reviewer: RobynDate: 2005-07-27
Reviewid: 128037Chapter: 1
One word:Bravo. that's all I can say really.

Reviewer: starahDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127230Chapter: 5
To be nitpicky, the fourth chapter had a touch of forced calmness applied to the whole situation, but the actually moment the Bat Bogey Hex was cast - that was beautiful.

And the final chapter is fantastic. Thanks for sharing; the family moments had me in tears and the letters were brilliant pieces.

Reviewer: Morag CamshronDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127228Chapter: 5
This was a great final chapter to a great story, J Forias; I look forward to reading more of your work after the release of HBP!

- Morag Camshron

Reviewer: jemDate: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127165Chapter: 5
This is a lovely conclusion and very satisfying in that one now feels Ginny is well on her way to coping with Tom.

Interesting that it was Molly who pushed her to find her resolution. Molly perfectly represents the maternal force that on one hand protects, but in excess will repress. Molly's demands for safety and security insist that Ginny mold herself into the person who will fulfill her mother's needs. Ginny has the dilemma of deciding if she should remain in that safe, maternal world or take the risk of leaving Molly behind. Will she individuate, that is, follow her own calling? Even if it means making her mother face her own pain, or worse -- adding to that pain by possibly dying for what she believes in? This is a powerful theme, that of having the courage to follow one's destiny, in spite of how we may want to protect others, and how we are often told by society that we are wrong.

When Ginny is able to acknowledge the evil-- to name it and to openly face it--we know she is moving past the trauma. One wonders if the Weasley's had ever spoken of what happened to Ginny -- or was it left as a family secret of which no one spoke?

I like how you have Ginny move past the protective circle of her family once the secret is finally out, and begin to speak more openly to Lupin and to Harry. She apparently has mustered the courage to share her pain (her inherent evil?), and in that way to enlist support in order to face the next stage of the fight.
The light note from Harry as an ending is perfectly done!

I'll be looking forward to more of your work.

Reviewer: TheFasterYouUpdateTheBetterDate: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127121Chapter: 5
Have I reviewed your story yet? So sorry if I haven't! I loved it. Very cute ending to this chapter. I hope you write some more (after HBP of course... two days!!!!!!!) Great job! 10!

Reviewer: WhitneyDate: 2005-07-13
Reviewid: 127106Chapter: 1
I LOVED it! I was almost crying while reading the last part! Nice work!

Reviewer: jemDate: 2005-07-13
Reviewid: 127020Chapter: 4
This is action packed -- you cover a lot of ground and it moves smoothly and quickly. You have a good feel for all of the characters portrayed; they all ring very true and that is difficult to do. I like the way you have developed Luna, in both the exam at the beginning and seeing her in a prominent role in the final escape. There are intriguing hints of Tom lurking in Ginny's subconscious/memory... I would have liked more of these. I would have liked to hear Ginny's struggle when she feels "Trapped and useless. Again." Why isn't she thrown back into despair? What has given her strength this time? But then, I probably dwell in the angst a bit much, so perhaps this is better.

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2005-07-12
Reviewid: 126963Chapter: 4
Beautiful little moments. I especially like the one where Neville asks Ginny.

But Luna and Ginny would talk of first year in chapter 3, not second.

Reviewer: JuluDate: 2005-07-10
Reviewid: 126698Chapter: 3
Once again, beautiful characterizations. I especially love Hermione in this. She is very sweet and girly. Ron is great too.

I can't wait to read more from you. Thank you for being compassionate with all the characters.

Reviewer: JuluDate: 2005-07-09
Reviewid: 126641Chapter: 2
How wonderfully satisfying! What I love about what you are doing is the depth and loving honesty with which you are treating these characters. You are writing everyone from a place of compassion and by doing that your characters sparkle like canon.

Reviewer: JuluDate: 2005-07-09
Reviewid: 126640Chapter: 1
At long last I am reading what has been at the top of my list for reading for weeks now! It is marvelous!

I love how you pull the reader into how Ginny must feel emotionally, but it to her physicality. There is this constant feeling of a shift between being awake and asleep. That's a hard thing to pull off and you do it beautifully. I also love the little turns you are giving on canon that pull more perspective into other characters - the idea that Nick actually through himself in front of Justin (wow - that's terrific!) and the effect of Neville's nervous act of kindness and courage.

And then there's the little details - the ink coming together on the page and spitting Ginny's own words back at her. It's great!

Looking forward to the next chapters!

Reviewer: jemDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126374Chapter: 3
Sorry I've read these entirely out of order, but I've just read chapters 1 and 3 and need to leave a review on them as well. I found myself drawn into the horrors of the first chapter; the pain is quite real and I can almost feel myself fighting against this unseen force -- almost like drowning in water. The manipulative power of Tom is very clear, and very harrowing. I've not thought until now about the power Ginny must have had to find in order to put up the resistance she managed. I like how you use the strength of human connection to help her learn to resist. Chapter 3 was quite different, and a bit of a relief. It is light and funny -- I laughed at several points while reading it -- and yet...there comes that pain back again at the end... oh dear. Poor Ginny. Will she be able to get over what was done to her? I am looking forward to more!

Reviewer: jemDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126282Chapter: 2
J: This is wonderful. Parts of it gave me the shivers -- "it's so hard to remember that I'm not really the one doing it. It's so hard to see where I end and Tom begins...Shut up, Tom." This is powerful stuff -- very, very meaningful to anyone who has fallen victim to the manipulations of another. (That would be most of us.) And the theme at the end is that of acceptance for what we have lived through. Don't we all need to hear that? You end it by letting Ginny take back a bit of her self worth in that she is able to tease Hermione about her own vulnerabilities-- a lovely give and take between the two friends. Also, the beginning conveyed a remarkable sense of confusion that only gradually clears up -- very convincing of what Ginny must have experienced. Thanks for sharing this. You have made me think.

Reviewer: MissDaisyDate: 2005-07-01
Reviewid: 125828Chapter: 3
I must have missed an update, but that means I got two chapters at once! This pieces are great, J!

Chapter 2 - The beginning was quite get inside the Tom/Ginny interaction very well. And after the angst and tears, the friendship and laughter - just right!

I loved Neville in Chapter 3 - brave enough to ask two girls out! Smarting off to Pansy and her crew. Sticking up for Ginny and Hermione! And yet, you keep him in character and true to himself.

Ginny's observation on how R/H/Hr and she are getting on each other's nerves because of dating stress was nice - good, fresh take on canon.

I'm really enjoying this series and looking forward to more from you.


Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-07-01
Reviewid: 125804Chapter: 3
I love your Ginny. I think you've got her down perfectly. I really can't say anymore than that, except that it was great how you through in her confusion over what Ron was eventually going to do when he was talking with Hermione. It was great to read a fic where Ginny isn't all knowing about Ron and Hermione.

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-07-01
Reviewid: 125803Chapter: 1*Takes a deep breath* ...all right...Wow... That was absolutely amazing. The next time I traverse lesser sites and see people bashing Ginny for being shallow and stupid for being taken over by a diary and that she's a slut, I'll make them read this. And I've only read the first chapter.

Reviewer: ReynaDate: 2005-06-27
Reviewid: 125385Chapter: 1
Wow. I really like this. Especially how you've showed the progression of Ginny and Hermione's friendship. And I loved how it happened with Neville. Anyway. Great job. Looking forward to more.

Reviewer: Ligia ElenaDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125097Chapter: 3
Another excellent chapter. After all the teariness of last chapter, this one I was laughing through a lot of it, starting with Ginny's response to Ron -- "What? Why?" Ginny's not so great with the tact herself sometimes, is she? And the ending believably lays the ground for a transition to her new attitude toward Harry.

Reviewer: Ligia ElenaDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125095Chapter: 2
This chapter got me teary, several times! I loved the roles Hermione and Luna played in it. The line that got to me the most was very simple: "My face is lost in bushy hair..." Great use of some physical, tactile to make the emotion of the moment concrete, so that you can almost feel it yourself.

Reviewer: Ligia ElenaDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125094Chapter: 1
What I like about this is the way I can sense OotP Ginny in the tormented girl here. You do a very good job of getting across the trauma she's undergoing. And yay, Neville! His brief appearance was very sweet.

On the misspelling of Ginevra, I expect other people have already pointed that probably already know. ;)

Reviewer: MrFlyingFingersDate: 2005-06-23
Reviewid: 124935Chapter: 1
Nicely done, J. I like the rapid fire of the interchange and the abrupt style--it really is a battle. You do a good job of building up the feeling of frustration.

Reviewer: Morag CamshronDate: 2005-06-21
Reviewid: 124743Chapter: 2
Very powerful and beautifully written.

In the first chapter, I found this line particularly true: “…life hasn’t stopped. If I don’t keep living, Tom wins.”

This line from the second chapter was rather profound: “We’d know straight away what belongs to us and which bits are somebody else’s words put through our mouth. Identity is such a hard thing to pin down, after all. The only problem would be that we wouldn’t have any idea what anybody else was saying… we’d actually have to learn everyone else’s language as well as our own.”

Keep writing!

- Morag Camshron

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-06-19
Reviewid: 124523Chapter: 1
After reading your latest Inferno entry, I decided to go back and check out your latest fic.

So you decided to write CoS from Ginny's POV. This is interesting thus far. We begin at the point where Ginny starts to doubt Tom, who punishes her. As the other reviewers have stated, canon doesn't tell us exactly what he does to her. You're probably right in that he does torture her somehow.

Ginny tells Tom that she is confident Harry will someday notice her. In some ways, Harry does notice her by OotP, but probably not in the way she intended it to Tom.

Although Ginny is frightened, she's still strong enough to put Tom in his place, taunting him by saying he's nothing more than a little boy, not a Dark Lord. Way to go, Ginny!

Nice fic. Keep up the good work. I know you won't have time to write the next four chapters of this and the Inferno chapters by HBP. Hopefully you'll be able to make some progress on both of these by then!

Reviewer: mary ellisDate: 2005-06-18
Reviewid: 124449Chapter: 1
What a great vehicle. I was never able to picture how Tom was controlling Ginny. I could never quite believe that soothing words and pseudo-friendship would be enough, even with a naive first-year. You have Tom using Cruciatus and a Memory Charm too. And something Imperius-like. Logical. And Ginny starts resisting eventually.
I like how you have him mocking her with her own words--almost like literally throwing them back in her face. (In fact, for a sec there, I imagined the gathered ink spewing up into her face.

Reviewer: Jules (craxhead)Date: 2005-06-13
Reviewid: 123913Chapter: 1
Er...right. That's Ginevra.

*needs a nap*

Reviewer: magicaljulesDate: 2005-06-13
Reviewid: 123873Chapter: 1
What a great idea for a series of one-shots, J! :-)

I love the way you really got inside both Ginny's and Tom's heads, and I like the strength you show in Ginny, even when she is still under Tom's control. (The title of this first segment is perfect, too! hee!)

This line is especially key to Ginny's personality as we now know it: 'It reminds me that Hogwarts is still happening, that life hasn’t stopped. If I don’t keep living, Tom wins.' Excellent job. :-)

You have a great style of writing, and it's amazing to me how you write different genres and different characters equally well.

One thing you might want to correct before the the next segment is posted: Ginny's full name is Genevra, not Generva. A common mistake. :-)

I can't wait to read more!



Reviewer: Ada KensingtonDate: 2005-06-12
Reviewid: 123826Chapter: 1
I like your use of short, snappy sentences to highlight Ginny's somewhat skewed thought-processes and also the allusion to the power of love affecting Riddle negatively. I'm in a Voldemort/Riddle fic phase, so your timing is just right (from my point of view, anyway). It's a good one-shot and I'm looking forward to seeing what you've got planned for the rest. Though, writing one-shots can become an addiction - don't get too far in or you'll never be able to give it up! -_^

Reviewer: TheFasterYouUpdateTheBetterDate: 2005-06-12
Reviewid: 123798Chapter: 1
Good fic! I love it!

Reviewer: MissDaisyDate: 2005-06-10
Reviewid: 123690Chapter: 1
Very nicely done...creepy and heartening at the same time. You show the power of the possession very well and it's a nice inner potrait of the Ginny combining CoS Ginny and OoP Ginny.

Good job.

Reviewer: prplhez8Date: 2005-06-10
Reviewid: 123624Chapter: 1
J ~ Well done, my friend! As I've read a great portion of this - it's so nice to see it in all it's haunting glory.

More than anything, the feeling of this whole story breaks my heart. I cheer for Ginny, even knowing the outcome. I applaud her fiestiness...she is so much stronger than she credits herself with. And her love for Harry, *sigh* ...

It's a heart-wrenching piece to read, as a parent, but it's a tribute to Arthur and Molly - they didn't raise no dummies.

Well done, well written, well said.


Reviewer: CoquillageDate: 2005-06-10
Reviewid: 123617Chapter: 1
Oh, J, good scary angsty stuff. You develop a chilling relationship between Ginny & Tom. This especially stood out:
>>Then, to the sound of the sound of Tom’s cold, steady laugh, all the ink gathers in the centre of the page. A moment later, the ink darts outwards and the same words are written over and over again.
Harry, will never like me… Oh, Tom, Harry, will never like me… Harry is never going to like me, Tom… << Man, you're scaring me.

>>And this made me say "oooh, cool!" I can feel Tom laughing at Neville. His hate is so strong… And yet, there is something more. Tom seems somehow weakened by this brief exchange. <<

Neat take on canon. The only thing that throws me off the teensiest bit is Tom calling Ginny "little one," but then I think you're purposely wavering back and forth between Tom and LV. Interesting take on our tough little Ginny.

The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For questions, please send us an Owl!

-- Powered by SQ3 : Coded by David : Design by James --