The Sugar Quill
Sugar Quill Community
- S.P.E.W (SQ History)

Fan Fiction and Writing
- Ask Madam Pince
(Story Submissions)
- Floo Network (Links)

Forums

Administrative Links

Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Thank You
Review(s): 27

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-12-12
Reviewid: 137040Chapter: 1
Simply Excellent

Reviewer: lisaDate: 2005-10-29
Reviewid: 135420Chapter: 1
I've been traipsing through as many Ron/Hermione fics as I could find lately, and I've got to say that I absolutely loved this. It had me ridiculously sucked-in, and it was so heart-felt... Ron's embarrassment over the scars, the whole part of watching her breathe, and the imagined good-luck kisses... Very relieved Hermione made it through alright, though that was terrible of the twins... *sigh* :)

Reviewer: sproutgirlDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126408Chapter: 1
Oh, that was so good! Wonderfully narrative, and very real.. The opening bit is perfect, and so very Ron. An excellent story all-around, though my favourite bit was:

". . . he didn’t have any idea why he would be plunging into the black depths of the Forbidden Forest, much less plunging into them alone, but he liked the image nonetheless.

And Harry . . . he glanced at his best friend and shook his head. Nah. Harry wouldn’t kiss Hermione good luck. He just wouldn’t. A good luck kiss wasn’t a big deal, but big or little it was his deal. Harry understood that. There he sat, very deliberately taking notes from his Potions book, not saying anything, just understanding. That was the sort of friend Harry was."

So wonderfully Ron, and Harry at the same time.

Well done.

Love from,
sproutgirl

Reviewer: wokka42Date: 2005-07-03
Reviewid: 125953Chapter: 1
Nicely done, Seri! I like seeing Ron's perspective in fics from time to time - it's a welcome change of pace. You have everyone's character down to a T, especially Ron and Hermione. It's a wonderful character study for our favorite Friends of Harry. :-)

My favorite bits? For one, Dumbledore's exchange with Hermione:

“Professor,” she rasped, “I chose to go down there. I knew the risks.”

Dumbledore nodded. “I’ve heard many say that, and it gives me little comfort... but much pride.”

That was truly wonderful - it somehow captures the essence of those courageous enough to fight for what's right, at the risk of their own lives. It actually caught my breath for a moment, it leapt off the page so!

I also really liked the passage where Ron watches Hermione sleep. The image of him watching her anxiously to take another breath is really touching, and somehow very honest and intimate - not that Ron realizes this, of course :-) - and there's a stillness to it, where for a moment we just hear Ron's voice and no one else's. It's like a small moment frozen in time, something that just resonates somehow. It's something we've all done with our loved ones, watching them sleep, and breathe, and meditate on how it's only that breathing that keeps them here with us. I liked it quite a lot.

My only quibble is that I'm not sure even the twins would be as cruel with their jokes as they were with Ron right at the end. But I do love Ginny's cheerful "Excellent, are we having a brawl?" line - that's somehow just so Ginny I had to laugh out loud! Anyway, nice work!

Reviewer: AdrienneDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125451Chapter: 1
This was a very nice story. Actually nice, like kind and warm and endearing, and well-written to boot.

Reviewer: purple-shirt-lovinDate: 2005-06-25
Reviewid: 125173Chapter: 1
oh. my. giddy. aunt. PLEASE continue this story!! I just about had a heartattack myself. Its gorgeous!!!

Reviewer: Abbey BrownDate: 2005-06-22
Reviewid: 124826Chapter: 1
Oh my god! It was so fabulous! I just about had a heart attack (haha) when George said Hermione was dead. I would have died myself for poor Ron's sake. Ugh. But 's all good! Wonderful story and fabulous writing! Cheers!

Reviewer: RobinDate: 2005-06-21
Reviewid: 124663Chapter: 1
Oh my--! Where's the rest? You must continue this, this was so great!!

Reviewer: niaDate: 2005-06-20
Reviewid: 124640Chapter: 1
Very sweet! It's a terrific story!!!

Reviewer: Mcily NochiDate: 2005-06-20
Reviewid: 124622Chapter: 1
Ummmm . . . SQUORK???????? Since when did you guys get this up and why did I not recieve an email about it?!

I love it. You know I do. Especially the bits that made me laugh so hard I nearly drove off the road as you read them. Particularly this bit:

“There, you see?” asked Mrs. Weasley, patting Mrs. Granger on the back. “She’s out of danger.”

“Well, except for You-Know-Who,” said George.

“And the Death Eaters,” said Ron.

“And that basilisk,” said Harry.

“And the N.E.W.T.s,” said Ginny.

“And Hagrid’s pets,” said Harry.

“And dementors,” said Fred.

“And politicians,” said George.

“But other than those things, no danger at all,” said Fred.

“Oh, and Malfoy,” said Ginny. “Don’t forget him.”

“Yes, we mustn’t forget Malfoy.”

“She can wipe the floor with Malfoy,” said Ron. “I’ve seen her do it.”


Love it. Absolutely love it. You guys are the best. Have an omelette or five - we'd only throw the eggs away anyhow. ;)

Reviewer: Stupid-PseudonymDate: 2005-06-18
Reviewid: 124416Chapter: 1
Aaawww!! This was such a sweet story! I think the best part is that I could really see this happening, very canon. I also love that its so funny, even though the plot isn't exactly humorous. I love this part:
--“Just think,” said Fred, “Now you can truly say that you’re such a good kisser that you give girls heart attacks.”-- HA!
I especially love the paragraph where he studies her breathing, and wonders what it might be like to have her bushy hair etc,-this is brilliant. Its sweet (without being sappy) and thoughtful and, to me, quintessentially Ron.

This is now one of my Fav. fics. Thanks so much for sharing!

Reviewer: Kit the BraveDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124218Chapter: 1
Miss Daizy sent me over to read this, and I'm so glad she did! Everybody is perfectly in character, from Remus and Molly to the twins, and all the relationships are lovely - Ron and Hermione's, of course, but also Ron and Harry's, the Weasley siblings, and the little hints of friendship between Molly and Mrs. Granger. Thanks for this!

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124215Chapter: 1
That was just excellent. Seriously. Though I think that Fred and George wouldn't take it so far as to tell Ron Hermione's dead, but having them be the bearers of good news sort of evens it out. Other than that it was...perfect.

Reviewer: LilacDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124211Chapter: 1
That was lovely!

Reviewer: KatinkaDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124210Chapter: 1
Ahhhhhh...what a perfectly lovely story. A frightening story too, considering Hermione's circumstances, but wonderful in the way in which these people gather around, support, and protect those they love. The pacing is excellent -- never hurried or rushed -- and there is a perfect balance of external happenings and Ron's internal thoughts.

>>“I’ve got one too,” she snapped, her eyes daring him to interrupt her. “We’ve all got them now."<<

You know, I'd never really considered that before, but you're right -- all three of them are scarred now, in more ways than one.

>>He took a firmer grip on her and poured the rest of the potion into her mouth, then threw the bottle away and forced her mouth closed. “Come on,” he hissed as she began to thrash, “Come on, you stupid girl, swallow it . . .”<<

Even though his part in the story is relatively brief, Snape's character really stands out. There's a nice Rickman-esque quality to his dialogue. :) Maybe I'm batty, but I seem to detect a few "Sense & Sensibility" references. I only mention that because lines from that film have a way of sneaking into my own fics. :D

The attention to detail, as illustrated in the "departure to the hospital" scene, is another thing that really makes this fic stand out. As a mum, I know that you just don't run out the door, regardless of the hurry. You grab shoes, cash, any nearby food, etc -- a nice touch of realism there. :)

>>“She’s about yea high and she has bushy brown hair and she showed up with a slimy old git and a hippogriff.”<<

Not much more I can about that line, other than: a;dlkfj;aldkfj;aslkdfj;aldkjf;alskdjfa;ldkfj;alkdjf;alskdfj;askd

>>Harry gave him a wry smile, and Ron returned it. That was the nice thing about Harry. Ron never had to explain things like ‘I am very worried about Hermione’ to Harry. Harry just understood, and didn’t ask questions.<<

These moments of friendship between the boys are quite nice -- they make the fic well-rounded and compelling, because we see the Trio existing not in some evil-fighting little world of their own, but among the people they love, who also love them.

>>“She’s not out of the woods yet, but we pulled her out of a very close scrape and we have every reason to expect she’ll continue to respond well to treatment. She’s a very resilient girl. We’ll know more after we’ve done some more work, and tried to reduce the scar tissue.”<<

That's a very original and inventive ailment for Hermione to be suffering from. To be honest, it's a nice change from lingering curses and spell residues and all the usual stuff.

>>Hermione did as she was told, and lay still with her eyes open for a while. Then she asked, “Where’s Ron?”<<

Oh, yah! My heart leapt with Ron's, right there. :D

>>“I didn’t want you to worry. I looked it up, but . . .”<<

She would do just that, wouldn't she? Excellent bit of characterization. And she certainly wouldn't loll idly in bed all that time if there were textbooks to be read. ;)

>>He wondered if she’d ever watched him sleep the way he was watching her now, sometime when he’d been incapacitated in the hospital wing. If she had, did he mind? Would she mind, if she knew he was doing it? <<

I *love* this moment of Ron's boyish fascination and curiousity. No, Ron, I don't think she would mind.

>>“Good luck,” he said, and kissed her on the cheek.<<

*gasp gasp gasp* WONDERFUL way to mirror the pre-Quidditch scene from OotP. And I love that even though he knows he's going to be teased mercilessly by his siblings, he does it all the same, and he can't wait to do it again. :D

>>. . . and then she could kiss him good luck before he plunged into the black depths of the Forbidden Forest . . . he didn’t have any idea why he would be plunging into the black depths of the Forbidden Forest, much less plunging into them alone, but he liked the image nonetheless.<<

Again, not much other to say than: a;dlkfj;aslkdjf;alkdjf;alksdjf;aslkdjf;alsda;sdlkfj

>>“Excellent, are we having a brawl?” asked Ginny. She pounded down the hallway and jumped on Fred’s back.<<

Three cheers for Weasley stress management techniques!

Again, what a lovely fic. Thank you for sharing it. :)

Reviewer: KelleypenDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124208Chapter: 1
this was wonderful! Thank you for sharing it! I don't think even Fred and George would joke about Hermione dying, however.

Reviewer: magicaljulesDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124206Chapter: 1
This. Is beautiful.

The emotion...the detail, the silliness thrown in for good measure.

Brilliant. :-)

It's all perfectly in character and extremely well-written. This is the kind of fanfiction that I wish there were more of.

Thank you for writing it!

Jules

Reviewer: YlimeDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124200Chapter: 1
Cute.

Oh, CUTE.

That was just beautiful R/H-ness. And a darn good story, too.

Reviewer: MissDaisyDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124194Chapter: 1
This was wonderful. I smiled, laughed, worried, was touched and throughly enjoy myself. Very nicely done and not one bit overdone in any place.

Reviewer: SunshineDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124185Chapter: 1
That was a great story from Ron's point of view. You have a really good handle on his character. My favorite part was when he was observing her while she was sleeping, and wondering if she would mind that he was watching her. Great job!

Reviewer: R.R.Date: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124183Chapter: 1
"Excellent, are we having a brawl?"

Hee hee hee...I LOVE this story! That line is SO Ginny...or at least how I imagine Ginny once she gets more lines in the book. Just the whole image of a tangled pile of Weasleys and Harry, laughing and beating the stuffing out of each other in a hospital hallway, is PRICELESS!!!

Reviewer: EagleDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124155Chapter: 1
This was just wonderful! You got each of the character's reactions perfectly. I love the unwritten understandings between Ron and Harry, and Ron's slow comprehension of his feelings, and best of all that it was all done without a lot of sappiness, so it seemed completely in character. Great job!

Reviewer: stefanieDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124153Chapter: 1
perfect. everyone was just right.

i absolutely loved everyone's reaction to ron's "good luck" kiss.

Reviewer: Patricia SheaDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124150Chapter: 1
As always, absolutely enchanting! (Just remember that "sweater" in American is "jumper"in Brit.) Other than that, just my thanks for another outing with my favorite fictional friends.

Reviewer: July31Date: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124123Chapter: 1
This was so adorable and sweet. It makes me want to go to St. Mungo's if Ron would sleep by *my* bed. Amazing story!

Reviewer: Miss GypsyDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124114Chapter: 1
That was wonderful, it really made me smile.

I'll admit, I blanched just as much as Ron did when George said Hermione was dead. What a horribly cruel, but wonderfully funny thing to say.

This story was great!

Reviewer: Mr.SnicketDate: 2005-06-16
Reviewid: 124099Chapter: 1
.....politicians?!....awwwwww LOVED it!!! good job!!

The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For questions, please send us an Owl!

-- Powered by SQ3 : Coded by David : Design by James --