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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Wounded
Review(s): 3

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-02-28
Reviewid: 140374Chapter: 1
Nice

Reviewer: J ForiasDate: 2005-07-13
Reviewid: 127055Chapter: 1
Excellent portrayal of the power of self-delusion.

<<His hands were worshipping—there was no other way to describe what he seemed to feel for her—surely he worshipped her—surely he was revealing the depths of his emotion to her—and she wanted only to return that same sort of love to him. >>

This is a haunting tale, and what makes it click is the subtle foreshadowing that links the first scene to the second. What happens to Sirius is not out of the blue, it's reflected in his earlier actions, and in your characters reaction to his actions. In truth, she always knew what was going to happen. She saw the 'possession' and the 'control' and wilfully equated it with 'safety' and with 'worship'.

Your second scene is chilling and artfully written; capturing the terror in both, and the self-loathing of Sirius.

I can think of criticisms but I'm not sure how relevant they are. I would like to argue that Sirius is OOC, as I'm sure many readers would, but I think it is a moot point. Even if he is OOC, I don't feel like it detracts from the point of the excercise - which is to tell a story. Clearly this story highlights (among other things) an aspect of Sirius; whether it's one that he would allow to rule is more a matter of faith than anything else.

Reviewer: AccentDate: 2005-07-13
Reviewid: 127030Chapter: 1
Good,but sad..is there a sequel?

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