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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 16

Reviewer: Stella ThomasDate: 2007-12-09
Reviewid: 150119Chapter: 1
I love how you use the smaller and smaller fonts to show how Wormtail really feels, and how small he thinks himself to be.

Reviewer: LivvyDate: 2005-08-18
Reviewid: 130298Chapter: 1
Wow,
That was so good. As much as i hate peter, that does give a very good insight into why Wormtail did what he did. I really like the use of smaller fonts like the 'voice in the back of his head' truly inspirational.
-Welldone.

Reviewer: After the RainDate: 2004-07-13
Reviewid: 92181Chapter: 1
Ooh. Love, love, love your Peter. Poor kid. And the way you write the relationships among them -- especially James and Sirius -- is perfect: nothing but good intentions in sight, but you can see the dark shadows lengthening in the corners...

Reviewer: demeterDate: 2004-07-02
Reviewid: 90309Chapter: 1
Wow, that was really awesome. So few fanfic writers seem to take Peter seriously; they just have him be this one dimensional bad guy. I love it when people do actually give him feelings and so forth, so way to go!

Reviewer: ivy and GracieDate: 2003-06-07
Reviewid: 35688Chapter: 1
Good story, good perspective. We can't help wondering though, how much more effective this might be if it were told in the third person, with the "tiny-font voice" kept in the first person. Just a thought. We'd like to see it re-posted thus maybe under a different title, as we usually take note of your name under new listings.

Reviewer: Newbia the ElfDate: 2003-06-02
Reviewid: 35022Chapter: 1
Wow!This is EXTREMELY cool. This makes me think that Sirius is a self-centered never serious (oh ye gods what did I just say?) person,James is a stupid twit,and Peter is poor,poor,mistreated by his friends Peter. Oh well,Remus is still nice *turns him into a plushie and huggles the stuffing out of him*

Reviewer: RiibuDate: 2003-04-27
Reviewid: 29773Chapter: 1
A very good fic. Peter's lack of self-confidence was pictured well. It was sad how he really didn't believe in himself at all. And how frightened he was as he saw his heart's desire, frightened because he found the idea oddly intriguing. The 1st person POV worked well in this fic. Peter's thoughts were shown maybe a little too often, it made the text maybe somewhat less fluent to read, but otherwise this was excellent writing.

Reviewer: kayjalDate: 2003-03-18
Reviewid: 24438Chapter: 1
hey im back..
i read my review.. and i saw all the typoz in it..
was not really looking at wat i was typing.
was too preoccupied with the story!!
so real sorry and once again.. GREAT WORK!!

Reviewer: kayjalDate: 2003-03-18
Reviewid: 24437Chapter: 1
woa.. powerful fic..
and i like the way yu have really squared out the reason while pretty much
sticking to canon... they are all..very like how i imagined them to be..
and wormtails reason for becoming how he does is somehow justified in this..
and and and..wonderful how you threw in the mirror of erised and it totall fit right into the picture..
my absolutel fave part was when he was describing them all..
and u kept repeating the word.
.....envy.... wow. really nice one ~!!!!

Reviewer: ileneDate: 2003-02-04
Reviewid: 18907Chapter: 1
Hi! This is kind of late, but I just wanted to thank you for giving me a look inside the mind of Peter Pettigrew. I think you did a great job of showing the inner insecurities that might have led to his becoming vulnerable to recruitment by Voldemort. I especially liked that the last line, "I can't make myself that man in the mirror. Who can?" It's also quite chilling, for we readers know the answer...or, at least, who probably claimed to have the answer...

Reviewer: JKDate: 2003-01-13
Reviewid: 16098Chapter: 1
Wow. There's so much to love about this story that I'm not sure where to begin. First of all, I love taht you're looking at Peter. So often he's jsut ignored or marginalised, turned into a stupid, whining tagalong who no-one likes. I can understand why people do it, but it's so OOC. You, however, have presented the reader with a Peter who is a normal kind of guy, but he has brilliant friends. And he's jealous. From that the reader can see that perhaps once the seeds of envy and the despising of dependance are sown it is then perhaps not such a huge leap to what Peter became. And that's what is so scary about Peter.

I particularly liked the way you showed the niggling little thoughts that he doesn't really want to think but can't ignore in smaller type. It's great when an author uses little visual clues and the tools of layout to their full potential.

Great fic, great characterisation of everyone, particularly the way you showed them sort of idealised, perfect, and on a pedestal in Peter's view, and great voice for Peter. I love the sort of hopeless, bitter, scared voice you've given him.

Great work. :-)

Yours in fanfiction,

JK

Reviewer: B. NonymousDate: 2002-12-29
Reviewid: 14293Chapter: 1
Damn... I'm jealous. This does in one installment, with one incident, something I hope to do with twice the text in chapters 5, 6, and 8 of "Mischief Managed".

Do you think Wormtail can ever redeem himself? I'd like to see your take on it.

Reviewer: RebeccagraceDate: 2002-12-28
Reviewid: 14167Chapter: 1
Oohh. That was great. So haunting and emotional, so *possible*. I can totally picture Peter as that scared teenager, that timid boy who can't do anything because he has no belief in himself. If only he would put himself out there, you know? If only he could have made himself be bolder, stronger, more loyal. If only he hadn't desired power above all else. What a great story. The way you portrayed the Marauders really brought them to life and fleshed them out. You make us care about the people you write about, and that is the mark of a good writer. I'm off to read the sequel!

Reviewer: RianaDate: 2002-12-09
Reviewid: 11943Chapter: 1
Scary. I can completely picture this happening in the novels.

Reviewer: AkiDate: 2002-12-07
Reviewid: 11636Chapter: 1
I came across this from a post in the Pensieve about favorite quotes in fanfic, and I was somewhat surprised to see only one review! So here I am to add one. I think you did a great job of portarying Peter's inner struggles, his conscious voice, saying "all the right things", and his smaller, subconscious voice, which is more bitter and self-centered. I can easily imagine how Voldemort worked on Peter to amplify that little voice and drown out the better part of him. I think your portrayals of James, Remus, and Sirius are also on target.

Reviewer: ArtemisuDate: 2002-08-14
Reviewid: 2010Chapter: 1
That... is the best characterization of Peter Pettigrew I've seen... anywhere, really.

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