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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 28

Reviewer: Vega BlackDate: 2008-01-08
Reviewid: 150354Chapter: 12
I've enjoyed reading this entire fic. You tell a fine story of Lupin, his father and Greyback and how Lupin was bitten. Moments are as chilling and frightening of anything I've read.

I was particularly touched by Lupin's father's description of taking his child into the cellar to undergo his transformations. You show how harrowing that would be for Lupin's parents. The descripton of the lonely childhood was touching as well.

The simple humanity of Dumbledore toward Lupin and his family was well described.

You should be proud of this fic.

Reviewer: moggieDate: 2008-01-06
Reviewid: 150328Chapter: 11
Thank you very much that was excellent. I enjoyed the story greatly.

You might want to consider, that we left Remus talking to his father.

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2007-10-16
Reviewid: 149649Chapter: 4
[You looked like you’d pinned your lips to your ears.”]

Oh, that's such a charming expression!

I liked your organization and explanation of the Werewolf Capture Unit and the Department for the Control and Regulation of Magical Creatures. It's well thought out and feels real. All the little details about Stebbins and his malaclaw bite and the idea of a liason was really excellent.

[He had not needed to ask the welcomewitch where to find Rhea. He could hear her screams all the way from reception.]

Oooooh, that gave me the chills! I love Reynard's backstory. Creative but realistic and well-fleshed out in very tight prose.

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2007-10-16
Reviewid: 149648Chapter: 3
[Had it all been a lie? He had lost the purity of his school memories to Padfoot’s presence, the knowledge of what he would become a taint on happy times. Now the cherished recollections of his parents had shifted inexorably too. Was every good memory he had in his life destined to be tainted by the discovery of deceit?]

Poor Remus--he's really been through a lot. I think dealing with Sirius's deception is making this all the harder. I also liked how you set the scene with Remus returning home.

I like Reynard a lot--you can see where REmus gets his gentle demeanor, but you can also see the similarities in their tempers when they are pushed.

[“But he didn’t win, Remus. He thought we’d hate you, you see. He thought he would ruin our family. But we didn’t let it happen; if anything, it made our bonds stronger. We didn’t stop loving each other. That would have been his true revenge.”]

After reading that, I love Reynard even more. I didn't think I could hate Grayback any more than I did after reading "Shades", but you've found a way for mto dig a little deeper and hate him even more.

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2007-10-09
Reviewid: 149566Chapter: 2
Your description of Fenrir dragging off poor young Remus into the woods was so chilling vivid--you really captured all the sights, sounds, and smells of terror. while I was reading that paragraph, I could hear the leaves rustling and the branches snapping and I could feel the cold sweat of terror that Remus must have.

[Your dearest daddy owes me boy, owes me for a life and a lifetime. And you’re my payment.”]

OK, this is definitely very scary. On a personal note, I can watch any type of horrow movie--slasher, vampire, etc--but the ones that always scared me the most were werewolf ones. Fenrir is waaaaaaaay more scary than Jason or Freddie!

[his golden eyes filled with vindictive bliss]

Oooh, great turn of phrase!

[It spread in waves, flowing through his skin and veins like a creeping poison; was it his imagination that he could feel himself being twisted, the very makeup of his body rewritten into some new and mysterious code?]

Your prose is just gorgeous. I'm quite envious! This is definitely one of those stories that goes beyond fanfiction and makes me want to read some original work from you!

Great chapter! Full of suspense, horrow, sadness, and a great teasing out of the plot. I'm very excited to read more!

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2007-09-27
Reviewid: 149422Chapter: 1
[The last slender sliver of his trust was hanging by a thread. The last secret he kept was burning him.]

Oooh, I really like tht line and I love it when lines in a story relate to the title, especially a cleverly worded title like yours.

[A Dementor.

A Dementor, patrolling the perimeter of the school for signs of Sirius Black, just as he was. And he had walked right up to it.

And every happy thought had drained away.

Silver moonlight, full moon gleaming…

And it was not alone.

Two Dementors. Three Dementors… Dementors all around, Dementors gathering, hungry Dementors that had smelled his mind, his soul and come in search of an easy meal. They obeyed Dumbledore, yes, but Dumbledore was not here and Remus was alone…

Silver moonlight…]

This exchange was done really well. You heighten the tension and slowly build up the creepiness and dread of what's going to happen next. I got those chills that make you look over your shoulder when you're in the house alone.

Great idea for a story! I've always wanted to know the story behind Remus's bite, especially after meeting Greyback and being thoroughly creeped out by him. Great story, looking forward to reading more!

Reviewer: Lady MirthDate: 2007-09-19
Reviewid: 149344Chapter: 9
OMG...OMG...OMG...OMG
*insert ten-minute-long incoherent babbling*

This fic is...unbelievable. JK Rowling who?

Reviewer: AshendenDate: 2007-09-19
Reviewid: 149338Chapter: 1
This is a very gripping story. It's pacy and not over-dramatic and you've given Remus's father a wonderful depth. I'm now eagerly awaiting the rest of this fic...

Reviewer: AzaeliaDate: 2007-06-03
Reviewid: 148187Chapter: 8
I stumbled across this fic while going through the Review Challenge thread on the SQ forum. I have to say, excellent work! I, like the previous reviewer, don't understand why you haven't been getting more reviews for this work. It's excellent!

I love your characterization of Remus, particularly (he's my favorite character ever, and thus I am difficult to please, so great going!)...and it was fascinating to read about his family.

I could really see why Remus is the person he's become based on his parents' interactions with him and each other, and even Greyback. Your imagining of the encounter is much more frightening than anything my imagination came up with, and rightly so.

You write very realistically, and build tension and darkness with skill. I'm not usually one for violent, dark fics, but you had me hooked from the beginning, and I can't wait to find out what happens next. I know you haven't updated since September, but I really want to see where this is going!

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2006-09-19
Reviewid: 145410Chapter: 8
Wow. I just want to tell you that I think this story is amazing. I am in the middle of my own WIP and other RL commitments, so I don't have the time to give you the detailed commentary you deserve, but rest assured, I think it's fantastic. This chapter was so vivid and intense and horrifying. Your Greyback is terrifying - so evil and cruel and very well done. Your action scenes get my pulse racing. Whew!

I don't know why you're not getting more reviews, but you certainly deserve them. Keep up the good work and don't get discouraged. I'm sure plenty of people are reading this with the same fascination that I am. Great job.

Reviewer: KimnaDate: 2006-03-17
Reviewid: 141016Chapter: 5
Wow... I was fated to fortunately stumble upon this fic following a yellow brick road. :D ...Ok, so maybe not exactly like that, but- I'm telling you- I'm glad things worked the way it did. o.o

(START) I actually came to know The Sugar Quill... just yesterday. At an end of a fanfic chapter I was reading, in the author's note, they had recommended the viewing of a particular fanart here on TSQ. I looked up the website, found the fanart, and bookmarked this lovely website (after lightly skimming it's contents) for future uses which proved to be a good idea. I finished the story I was reading and looked up stories on Fanfiction for more Remus Lupin screentime. xD I know that sounds incredibly fan-girlish, but believe me! I know a good fic when I read one, whoever it happens to be about. I just had... a craving. *cough* Anyways, during the search, I found your story titled Imperius and found the summery interesting, but clicked on your username instead to check out it's prequel. I read the first chapter of Oblivious when...! Fanfiction died on me. (It's actually still dead, so I have time to kill writing this novel of a review. XD) The agony! I was in denial for quite some time, constanting clicking on the next button and praying for chapter two to come up, but sadly the gods are not on my side during this dark hour. So I thought to myself, "Hey, that one webbie I found yesterday- it had alot of fanfictions! Maybe the same one is on there!" I was foiled again when I searched for Oblivious in Sugar Quill's Library, only to find a different fic with the same name. o_O In one last attempt in the search for fanfics of mine, I looked up "Jess Pallas" and it was miraculously on the list! I had almost missed it actually... Happily, I looked up what fanfictions you have uploaded onto this website when grief took over me yet again. It seemed you did not have a story title Oblivious on here. I sighed, concluding that my jouney ended in failure, and decided to read this story, For Want Of Silken Thread, to lick my wounds. Ha, but my despair was short lived- I read your intro and was amazed! A whole new canon-friendly story yet similar to Oblivious?? Absolutely wonderful! I immedietly started reading and flew past five chapters in an instant. Wait, no, that was exaggeration, sorry. I did take my time, and loved every second of it! Alas, I originally thought this story was done! o.o Merely judging from the fact that you had already written and finshed Oblivious, and even started a sequel...(END)

So perhaps now, finally, you understand why this crazy person is taking up all the room on your review page. o_o Keep up the fantastic work! Tis a review of encouragement! Honestly, I'm usually too lazy to review on Fanfiction, and everywhere else is no exception. But I do if it means being able to read more of an incredible fanfic faster! :D (Did that sound extremely selfish or what...) No, no, really- I really enjoyed reading this story! Or what you have of it so far. The characterization is awesome; Mad Eye was so... him! I almost forgot Reynard (spiffy name by the way, with Rey as a short) is an original character! He's very fleshed out, and I can easily picture him. The plot so far, storyline and stuff... gawd, you're slaying people. I can't wait to read more!

Now then, bringing this review to a close- yes, I can hear the cheers. You can bet that I'm looking foreward, patiently of course, to your future updates. You're a great writer; never stop the magic! :)

Reviewer: adrienne06052Date: 2006-03-08
Reviewid: 140703Chapter: 1
I read your stories at the Werewolf Registry, and I was wondering if you could publish them here, too.

Reviewer: NunduDate: 2006-03-02
Reviewid: 140423Chapter: 5
I am so glad I clicked on this story. It is well started and I look forward to future chapters!

Reviewer: McGonagall's CatDate: 2006-02-27
Reviewid: 140330Chapter: 5
I just stumbled across this delightful piece and all I can say is - WOW - !!!! The first couple chapters were a tad angsty for my tastes, but had to be set up that way to establish what was to come. The hunt and action scenes are very well done! Now you have me on the edge of my seat and... I will have to wait. GAK!

The beta in me noticed quite a few missing commas, but on the whole this is a great story. I love the choices of names, Moon mother and such!

Please update soon!

Thank you for an enthralling read!

Reviewer: ScribblerDate: 2006-02-27
Reviewid: 140324Chapter: 5
Wow. I really really really like this fic! I love the way you write Remus. At school, he seems like we know him from the book, but I like how his maturaty level seems to drop by a few decades when he's around his father. So typical.
This fic has a plot, momentum, tone, sense of humor, and yes, spirit all it's own. You build on Rowling's world with remarkable grace and originality that's so hard to come by. I don't usually like OCs, but I was actually interested in Rey's adventure on the werewolf hunt. He's a beleivable, solid character. Please keep writing, and I'll keep reading.

Reviewer: ChocaholicDate: 2006-02-27
Reviewid: 140320Chapter: 5
Yes, so lovely to review this story again. Dang, you're a good writer, you know that?

Reviewer: ChocaholicDate: 2006-01-31
Reviewid: 139068Chapter: 4
It's so good to see this story become canon-friendly. Now if I could only switch back and forth between this and Imperius without becoming schizophrenic, I'd have it made. Terrible problem to have, isn't it? :o)

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2006-01-06
Reviewid: 138092Chapter: 3
Just leaving some encouragement. I've read Oblivious, and it remains one of my favorite fics ever. So obviously I remember the story, and I'm glad you are making an effort to continue it and seeming to mesh it with new canon, because it really was amazing how close you got to the new canon. Plus I thoroughly enjoyed all the characters you developed. So, since most of this is old news to me, I just thought I'd leave some encouragement to continue this fic.

Reviewer: _PhoenixLament_Date: 2006-01-01
Reviewid: 137873Chapter: 1
Wow your work is truly amazing. So detailed, so thought out, so rich! Wonerful work, wonderful!

Reviewer: AnyaDate: 2005-12-31
Reviewid: 137840Chapter: 3
*squirms impatiently* AH! I want chapter Four already! You *really* know how to keep the readers hanging on to every word. I love the style this is written in, with the presentation of the memories and the palpable desciptions of how the emotions effect Remus (also: his fathers name is very clever!)

Reviewer: Sulwyn of the NorthDate: 2005-12-21
Reviewid: 137534Chapter: 1
I love this story. I think the character development of Remus is very realistic and believable, and I'm so happy to find a good story with him, as he is one of my favorite characters. I thought the scene with McGonagall and Pomfrey confronting Remus was very well written, since scenes like that can so often be awkward to write (and read). Please, please keep this story up; I really want to see what happens with Remus and his father.

Reviewer: GenesseDate: 2005-12-17
Reviewid: 137322Chapter: 2
Oh! I'm terribly frightened for Remus, for what happened when he was bit and for this confrontation that is coming.

The flashback was very vivid and frightening, and *sustained*, which is amazing. I'm looking forward to more!

Reviewer: GenesseDate: 2005-12-17
Reviewid: 137320Chapter: 1
What a happy surprise clicking on your name brought! This is so wonderful. I have a lot of admiration for people who can write Remus, and you write him exceptionally well. His year as the DADA teacher has always interested me, so I'm glad that you started the story here.

On to the next chapter!

Reviewer: revolvingstaircaseDate: 2005-12-13
Reviewid: 137118Chapter: 2
This is scary. Not movie kind of scary but the other kind, where you get scared for someone and what they might find or see or hear and stuff. I'm scared for Lupin. I think you did a great job making him feel real. And the nightmare felt real too.

Reviewer: ChocaholicDate: 2005-12-13
Reviewid: 137095Chapter: 2
So nice to read this once more! (Not that it should prevent you from updating Imperius, of course...) Did I mention you're a fabulous writer?

Reviewer: ComplessatissimaDate: 2005-11-24
Reviewid: 136256Chapter: 1
Dear Jess Pallas,
I have read "Oblivious" and am reading "Imperius", on livejournal, but I didn't have access to be able to review. So please forgive me for not having given you any feedback sooner.
I am thrilled that you are doing a canon-compliant version of Remus' story, for many reasons, not least of which because I truly admire your style! You have a great ability when it comes to building tension. Besides that, you are very attentive to characterisation in general, and character depth in particular. Your original characters are very three-dimensional, too. You write chapters that flow with true flair, and which build story lines that are a joy to read.
So thank you! And keep up the great work!

Reviewer: ChocaholicDate: 2005-11-24
Reviewid: 136251Chapter: 1
Congratulations on being a Sugar Quill author! It's been a while since I first read Oblivious, so I'm looking forward to refreshing my memory. (As long as I can avoid confusing it with Imperius...)

Reviewer: Angelina WeasleyDate: 2005-11-24
Reviewid: 136247Chapter: 1
Wonderfully chilling.
I'm waiting for the next installment as a birthday present, which is actually today (11/24).
Write!!
-Angelina Weasley

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