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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: With You
Review(s): 32

Reviewer: SongbirdDate: 2007-08-14
Reviewid: 148819Chapter: 1
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU WROTE THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

This is like one of my favorite fanfictions ever. And that was when I didn't even know you! This is the best characterization of Ron I have EVER read. It had engrained itsself in my memory, the thing with the kippers and the "girls will be girls", ENGRAINED itself in my memory.

You are the brilliantest. This is Cher, in case you hadn't figured it out. <3 you

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2006-02-22
Reviewid: 140169Chapter: 1
That was lovely. Very moving. Wonderful, I loved it.

~GW

Reviewer: dogstarDate: 2006-01-26
Reviewid: 138913Chapter: 1
I thought this was great - really funny, poignant and wonderful characterisations. I thought you captured Ron and Hermione's relationship perfectly, without any unnecessay mushiness and I loved the sibling moment with Ginny too.

"Now? Right after the bloody funeral?
What tripe does that one have for brains?!
My temper rose like a Wingardium-ed troll club.
I bet the Git will just go along with it. Maybe say ‘He never had respect for authority’ or some other hogwash."

This is perfect for what Ron would be thinking at this point.

Reviewer: JK AshavahDate: 2005-12-12
Reviewid: 137075Chapter: 1
I really liked that. It had a wonderufl mixture of sadness, humour, and poignancy. You've captured Ron's voice nicely, with his sarcasm, his loyalty, his humour, and his insecurities. Thanks for letting me know this was up; I really enjoyed it. :)

Yours,

JK

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-12-12
Reviewid: 137061Chapter: 1
Very enjoyable

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-12-09
Reviewid: 136953Chapter: 1
This is perfect. Honestly.

Ron was incredible. So perfectly Ron, and I'm positive that this is what he was thinking/doing/whatever during the funeral scene.

How he reacted to Harry and Ginny breaking up, and how Ginny reacted afterward, and then what she said to Hermione later.

When Ron started crying, and he started thinking about Sirius and Uncle Billius. And then he started crying and it was almost like the crying snuck up on him.

And what an utterly perfect ending. Seriously, it is perfect all around, though looking at what you post in the fora, I shouldn't have been surprised.

Honestly, there are so many things that about this fic that I love, but I am lazy, so just assume that I love the whole thing, because that is the truth.

Okay, one more thing. **Hell, I didn’t feel up to anything at that moment. The weather was unfairly nice – the ceiling of the Great Hall was clear blue. Like my new dress robes, the ones the twins had given me ‘to match my eyes’. I was painfully aware of the fact that that bloody git at the High Table had eyes exactly the same colour** That's great, and aptly describes how Ron's perception of the funeral may have been colored by Percy's presence.

And this **We followed her towards the lake, to many rows of white chairs. As I sat down between Harry and Hermione, I realized – if McGonagall would be Headmistress, we’re going to need a new Transfiguration teacher. And a Head of House, too. I listed our current teachers, trying to imagine them in McGonagall’s place – I very nearly chuckled at the mental image of Trelawney in red and gold shawls and Luna’s roaring Gryffindor hat.**

And I loved how Ron thought of Seamus. And how Ron wanted to go over to Lavender to get her angry so she'll stop being so miserable. He's not completely cold toward Lavender, it seems.

And have I mentioned how I love the ending?

Reviewer: LilacDate: 2005-12-08
Reviewid: 136905Chapter: 1
That was lovely!

Reviewer: Lorelei LynnDate: 2005-12-04
Reviewid: 136750Chapter: 1
I really like the way you captured Ron's voice here - there was a good mix of anger, grief, love and (most importantly) humor. Good job!

Reviewer: GrapefruitSeedDate: 2005-12-04
Reviewid: 136735Chapter: 1
Ahh that was a good yet bittersweet fanfic! I think I may cry...

Reviewer: MissDaisyDate: 2005-12-02
Reviewid: 136667Chapter: 1
Lovely! Funny, wrenching, and real. Just well-done in so many ways. Do write more like this!

Daisy

Reviewer: grover53Date: 2005-12-01
Reviewid: 136633Chapter: 1
This is one of the best POV shorts I've read. Your Ron is absolutely priceless. I'd quote my favorite parts, but you already have a copy of the entire story. I do love his calling Percy "the Git."

Great job with this story. It actually made me have those "hot prickly" things behind my eyes. It's wonderful.

Reviewer: citysnidgetDate: 2005-11-30
Reviewid: 136568Chapter: 1
wow...this is rly good. i can totally imagine ron saying this.

Reviewer: ceilidhDate: 2005-11-30
Reviewid: 136566Chapter: 1
excellent!

Reviewer: jen loves ronDate: 2005-11-29
Reviewid: 136523Chapter: 1
Awwwwwww!!! I love this fic so much. The ending of HBP is possibly my favourite ending of all the books, because it captures the depth of their friendship so well. I love how this has so much of the same mood and atmosphere as HBP, but it's so *Ron*. I love it. There are so many nice lines in this. It was a little hard to get into, but by the end of it, I am totally in love.

Reviewer: Madaline FabrayDate: 2005-11-29
Reviewid: 136515Chapter: 1
You have a great handle on Ron, and I loved the little thoughts and details. Olympe's tablecloth-sized handkerchief, his thoughts on seeing Dumbledore at the funeral, the "Weasley Tradition." Full of nice lines. Great alternate POV/missing moment. Good mix of the tragedy of the moment and laughter/hope.

Reviewer: Author by NightDate: 2005-11-27
Reviewid: 136372Chapter: 1
Love R/N's author note! :D

Anyway... I only have one problem:


‘Ron, are you done molesting that piece of bacon?’ Hermione demanded with barely controlled irritation.

I really can't see Hermione using a term like that. She seems more like the sort of person who would be appalled by it.

I did love the fic, though; Ron seemed very much in character. You captured his devotion to Harry well.

Reviewer: story645Date: 2005-11-27
Reviewid: 136369Chapter: 1
P.S. Ron's inputs on the disclaimer and the a/n and R/N are awesome.

Reviewer: story645Date: 2005-11-27
Reviewid: 136368Chapter: 1
This is why you don't ask me to review:. ;)

notes taken during reading:

You can hear the sarcasm in the "to match my eyes" comment. I like how it's understated. Same with Neville's limping, or Hermione's crying. Even without the summary, I can tell it's set during war time, and reading the summary, it makes more sense, and works without hitting me over the head with "things change".

The wanting to be Happy about being right is totally him, same with the, damn, but I shouldn't be. Like the twist on Ginny's question, works well. I love all of Ron's very detail oriented observations of Harry, they pick up how close and long running the friendship is.

I like the guilt over Lavender and gratefulness towards Seamus, and specially how you naturally stick it in with a very somber scene. The thpughts on McG are also spot on, and again fluid. The merpeople convo is too cute. The way Hagrid and Dumbledore are introduced and described is just perfectly jarring enough to come across as heartbreaking.

You need a the in "Not Person who made us sing that" cause if Ron's using that, then it's unlikely your going for dropped words catatonic shock. Aww Hagrid. He's just too good. Love the Charlie stuff, specially since now I'm curious enough to go look it over in the books.
"By the time we’re ready to join, there won’t be any Order left." - So Ron, and just hits cause of the way it runs off the last though, yet clashes. Harry's Harry is also just perfect for it's double take but you know exactly what he means quality.

Love the lil memories of people, Dumbledore and lost family, that run through his head. Makes the pain realistic and plausible, and really brings home the idea of war. I like your hug best, that mix of humor and drama that's so them. Like the grim arithmancy joke. Love the discriptions of the trio's actions as noble or stupid, or whatever, and aww Ron. The Hair- sounds like a monster ready to attack him, and you know that's what he's thinking, and cool for doing all of that in the space of a word.

The whole Ginny thing is very well done, lots of humor thrown in, and Ginny has a nice tough exterior, it's very her. Love that you have all of them accepting then breakup, cause most authors don't, and it leads to sappyness. The Weasley tradition is too cute, 'cept didn't Lav dump Ron? Granted cause he wanted her to, but still?

Uh, you might need a me or to change tell to say in "Hermione, please tell that isn't"
Love Ron's pov of the scene, feels very in character, like this IS what happened in the books from his pov. The Grawp crush stuff at the end was just an awesome way to balance out and lighten up using something you already have. Like how he doesn't linger on the "my Hermione". The race at the end was a nice way to end, and just too cute.

Overall review:

Definitely better than:
"A sappy and somewhat pathetic piece of writing interesting only to spoiled R/Hr fanbrat mind!"

It's a good, solid, HBP missing moment. You've got Ron down. His mix of seriousness and humor comes through very well in the narrative, and makes this piece enjoyable to read. The balance of laughs with drama with sentiment and all the other emotions running through this piece keep it from being weighed down. You also give us a good Ron-eyed view into the HP world, the other characters are very much themselves in this pieces, feel very real and come across as interesting. I so wanna read more about Grandma Prewitt for example. If I were you, I'd totally pitch it around as Ron genfic.

Reviewer: fableheartDate: 2005-11-27
Reviewid: 136352Chapter: 1
Good stuff. I hadn't thought it was possible to make the ending of HBP humorus, but you did it *quite* well! I love the way you channel Ron. Also, for some reason, I thought there might be a kiss at the end of this, and you simply cannot imagine my relief that there isn't. Also, the copyright law confusion is mutual. Nice try deciphering it, though.

Loved it.

Reviewer: Miss GypsyDate: 2005-11-27
Reviewid: 136350Chapter: 1
PS: I looooved this:

‘Looks like someone has a crush on you,’ I said between stitches. Hermione looked annoyed. But in a good way. Not the I’m-sending-a-flock-of-murderous-canaries kind of way.

Reviewer: Miss GypsyDate: 2005-11-27
Reviewid: 136349Chapter: 1
That was wonderful... thank you so much for writing it. There's a sort of almost joyful sadness to it that nearly had me crying and also had me smiling, and it's not easy to write like that.

Ron was spot-on - great characterization.

Thanks for something hopeful... we all need this.

Reviewer: Angelina WeasleyDate: 2005-11-26
Reviewid: 136340Chapter: 1
St Row-a-check, I JUST read my email, and I saw your message. Thank you SO much! That was really nice of you!
And, because I didn't know/write it before, welcome to the SugarQuill! So glad you came!
THANX, once again,
-Angie W.

Reviewer: ArimalkaDate: 2005-11-26
Reviewid: 136330Chapter: 1
I liked this- you really showed the 'observant' side of Ron while still keeping him in character, which is a Good Thing. I liked the last bit at the end, and the 'R/N'. hehe.

Reviewer: Angelina WeasleyDate: 2005-11-26
Reviewid: 136321Chapter: 1
Wonderful. Absolutly fabulous.
I can really sense the feeling that you put into this, and it really does resonate with the Trio's love for each other.
Write more. I love your style.
Thanks,
-AW

Reviewer: bashton78Date: 2005-11-26
Reviewid: 136317Chapter: 1
Good job. It was fun reading this from Ron's perspective. you did a good job portraying his voice.

Reviewer: RoseyDate: 2005-11-26
Reviewid: 136311Chapter: 1
I love this. :D Ever since I read this scene at the end of HBP I've wondered what thoughts are going through Ron's head and what happened between him and Hermione. This hits the nail right on the head, you should be proud. :)

Reviewer: YlimeDate: 2005-11-26
Reviewid: 136309Chapter: 1
SQUEE! *hugs* You're up, up, up on the Quill! (and, hee, I love the R/N. :D And, and YOU mentioned ME. :wub:)

You already know I love this to bits, but it won't hurt to remind you why. :D Ron is absolutely perfect, as are all the characters. You've got a fantastic balance of sadness and humour - I cry a little, I laugh a lot, and above all I feel like I've touched the characters.

"I had to pat it down… so I wouldn’t sneeze… and somehow my hand got lost in the motion...and kept doing it over and over again."

That is so sweet. And so true, Ron wouldn't probably start stroking Hermione's hair just because he wanted to, he had to have a reason for starting.

And it's lovely how you continue that last scene just onwards a little bit, and so beautifully and deftly.

You're on the QUILL! YAY for you, my dear! *huggles*

Reviewer: SoonertobyDate: 2005-11-26
Reviewid: 136305Chapter: 1
<i>Wish I had a Pensieve. Things like this should be kept.</i>

This soty is one of those things. Absolutely beautiful. Ron, my favorite character, perfect. Wonderful. I'm a 6'4" tall, 260lb, 22 year old man and was near tears at points and chuckling at others. I will certainly have to read more of your work. I do hope there's more.

Reviewer: B. NonymousDate: 2005-11-26
Reviewid: 136303Chapter: 1
You can join the club of SQ authors who know how to get inside Ron's head! It's a club that I don't mind seeing grow (again). Welcome aboard the Quill - you earned it.

Reviewer: shanfawn16Date: 2005-11-26
Reviewid: 136300Chapter: 1
This was beautifully written, and you caught just the right sense of "Ron-ness". Well-done!

Reviewer: ChocaholicDate: 2005-11-26
Reviewid: 136298Chapter: 1
'-with loads of nagging, and possibly badges...' That had me chuckling for a good while. This was a perfectly wonderful take on Ron's POV. You did an excellent job merging thoughts and dialogue. It rang true through and through. Great work.

Reviewer: ZsenyaDate: 2005-11-26
Reviewid: 136292Chapter: 1
This was a wonderful exploration of Ron's inner-thoughts. I enjoyed reading this scene from his point of view. But I think I enjoyed your author's notes more. Ron on email... now there's a thought...

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