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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: The Metronome
Review(s): 13

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-02-28
Reviewid: 140348Chapter: 1
Brilliant too good.

Reviewer: HalanDate: 2006-01-23
Reviewid: 138820Chapter: 1
I enjoyed this quite a bit. It's so true that you can have all the talent in your fingers to play music, but you can never be good at it if you don't have the feeling and the soul behind it.

The organ was also fantastic, it was a good way to test someone's tolerance for pleasure and pain, and of course mixing the two can make each one more intense. I did like how you actually gave Lucius motives and a story rather than just the same old "I follow Voldemort because I like purebloods." Fantastic work.

Reviewer: slate_oneDate: 2006-01-22
Reviewid: 138783Chapter: 1
Dear Icarus:


Was this to be only a one shot story or is there more? If there is going to be more chapters - when do you plan on updating? At least tell your readers what you are planning? I keep checking for updates and there are none!

Reviewer: ThessalyDate: 2006-01-18
Reviewid: 138691Chapter: 1
"My scalpel, could you teach it to play, would give you just such a performance." A very nice concept of Lucius - I interest myself *far* too much with the affairs of the Old Families - and I like the way he is both talentless and extremely talented. The music was a brilliant touch, and I loved his comments on Bella at the beginning. Interesting that his mother seems to run the family; all of the other Old Families seem to be heavily matrilinear as well, with Lucius Malfoy as the only alpha male.

Reviewer: Madaline FabrayDate: 2006-01-07
Reviewid: 138112Chapter: 1
You capture a haunting, spooky imagry with this. Very interesting take on Malfoy; most stories I've read have him joining the Death Eaters because of the cause (ie-- eliminating non-purebloods). But this take on Malfoy's meeting -- and his requests/wishes -- is very believable. Using the organ and song as a test -- that was bloody brilliant, and chilling.

Reviewer: wendelin_the_weirdDate: 2006-01-05
Reviewid: 138060Chapter: 1
Everything you want in the world... for a song. What a fantastic concept, and how well you write it! It's amazing to watch Lucius change from something very like a Draco to the Lucius we now know. The traps that Voldemort lays.. they're brilliant. I could just see the web of deceit closing in on Lucius. And when we hear him say:
"Lord Voldemort had not taken Avery into his confidences. Lucius hid that knowledge jealously like a new-found prize."

We know then that the transformation is complete, that Voldemort has succeeded in what he set out to do. And yet in saying:

"The truth hit Lucius like a blow. Yet there was no judgment on Tom's face, nor even a trace of disappointment. ...Tom neither praised nor condemned him, the Malfoy heir who was not permitted to be average. ... Legs sprawled out like a child's, Lucius looked up at Riddle in gratitude, feeling strangely clean. "

you show us a part of Lucius that is somehow worthy of respect, scum though we know him to be from the books. His character as you've drawn it is fascinating; not even JKR's Lucius has made me want to know more about him (probably because he's not the main character, but still), and you have.

This is a magnificient story, the best I have read in a long while. I won't compare you to other fanfic writers, because I don't think that would be a compliment to you. You have a way with words that transcends the fandom level of writing. I am really looking forward to reading your other work.. and I'm recommending this story on my blog.

Reviewer: Dark PrincessDate: 2006-01-04
Reviewid: 138018Chapter: 1
I absolutely loved this story; it was incredible and very realistic in all aspects. I haven't read a lot of Lucius when he's younger, but you do a great job in using his character well in this story.

The only thing I would question about his character is that I don't think he would refer to his mother by "mummy". It's possible he would use "mum," but as for a Malfoy, (especially one at sixteen years of age), I think it would be more in his character to use "mother". In the books, for instance, Draco never uses anything but "mother" and "father," and I think it probable that Lucius would have refered to his parents in the same way.

Other than that, I thought you did a great job in making it believable that this sixteen-year-old could become the Lucius we all know from the books. Nothing was too off or unrealistic. I congratulate you on that.

My last comment is going to say just how much I LOVED the organ! It was a fabulous idea, and incredibly creepy; it really helped add to the overall mood and feeling of the story. Your portrayal of Tom/Voldemort (whichever one he needs to be refered to in this), was also wonderful. I congratulate you on an excellent story.

Signed,

Dark Princess

Reviewer: Genne-veraDate: 2006-01-04
Reviewid: 138006Chapter: 1
wow, best fic i've read in a LONG time! really really good! blew me away! you should continue...

Reviewer: GrapefruitSeedDate: 2006-01-04
Reviewid: 137983Chapter: 1
Wow, this is a beautiful work! Beautiful language. I loved the part where he was compared to a horse, and I enjoyed the description of Tom's cave and the sensations. Very unique and intriguing.

Reviewer: SreyaDate: 2006-01-03
Reviewid: 137971Chapter: 1
Wow. Just - WOW. This is an EXCELLENT Riddlefic, and a brilliant insight into Malfoy. I love the use of the music, and the cursed organ sensations were downright creepy. But really, it's the irony of what Malfoy asks of Riddle that just makes the story. He binds himself to slavery to gain the shadow of freedom. Incredible.

Reviewer: MilayaDate: 2006-01-03
Reviewid: 137943Chapter: 1
I'm not generally a big Malfoy fan, but this fic really made me sympathize with Lucius, something that's never happened before! His character is wonderfully drawn; you manage to make teenage Lucius believably like canon's adult Lucius, while still making him appear sympathetic and vulnerable. I also like the unique way you treated his impending marriage to Narcissa, by making Bellatrix the sexy one and Narcissa the skinny kid who still has to grow into her looks. And Tom Riddle is perfect. He's intelligent, persuasive, and the perfect amount of evil, and his testing Lucius with the organ is completely believable and chilling. Nicely done!

Reviewer: HazelleDate: 2006-01-03
Reviewid: 137933Chapter: 1
Wooooooooow.

There are so many things about your story that I love. I've never read a young Lucius fic before, but suddenly he's really interesting. Riddlemort is frightening, mainly because he seems human but isn't really. The pain and pleasure endurance test is an especially creepy addition. Odd as it may sound, your word choice is my favorite part of your writing-- it's really refreshing to read rare, almost archaic words that are usually very difficult to use unobtrusively. It's also nice to know that chiaroscuro is not a term my English teacher made up :)

I'm sort of hoping that you plan to do more with the intricate world of Lucius Malfoy that you've created ::crosses fingers::

Reviewer: mary ellisDate: 2006-01-03
Reviewid: 137932Chapter: 1
How well you depict the bored adolescent Lucius, bright, but not excelling at anything, looking for 'freedom' from his family. I love his takes on Narcissa and Bellatrix. And his baseborn sidekick Avery. And the use of music, especially that diabolical organ. Was it something Tom found, and was he using Lucius to determine its powers? Or did he invent it himself? It makes me think strangely of Every-Flavor Beans, but this is an Every-Sensation keyboard. Wicked!

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