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| Dumbledore's
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Review(s): 14
| Reviewer: Katie Bilius | Date: 2006-02-12 |
| Reviewid: 139706 | Chapter: 1 |
| Great installment! I'm excited to read the outcome of the conversation in 'two days'. Great build up (and the ferrets were a nice touch. For *some* reason, flashes of Malfoy are entering my mind ;D) |
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| Reviewer: madametibbles | Date: 2006-02-11 |
| Reviewid: 139658 | Chapter: 1 |
Er, it's supposed to be 1983? I disagree. Because Barty Crouch finished Hogwarts before being sent to Azkaban. I'm setting this in the 1980/1981 school year.
About the Marauder's map- I'm probably never going to explain this one, so I'll just say it now- He stole it from Filch's confidential files in his fourth year. After he leaves Hogwarts, Filch confiscates it again.
Thanks for the reviews, everybody! |
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| Reviewer: mary ellis | Date: 2006-02-10 |
| Reviewid: 139640 | Chapter: 3 |
| Oh, I had to check my timeline for this one. So it's 1983 (or thereabouts and the Potters are dead, and Sirius is in Azkaban, and Barty has the Marauders' Map. I can't wait to see where this is going. |
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| Reviewer: Verin | Date: 2006-02-10 |
| Reviewid: 139593 | Chapter: 3 |
A bit moody today...hee hee.
This may be a dark story, but that was funny. And so, an obsession with ferret-transmogrification begins... |
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| Reviewer: Scribbler | Date: 2006-02-09 |
| Reviewid: 139563 | Chapter: 3 |
| Well, I still think your writing and dialogue both need fleshing out (but that's just me) but that was quite a nice twist at the end. I absolutely love the idea of Barty having the Marauder's Map. I really want to see how it gets confiscates. Thanks for putting me on my toes! Can't wait for the next chapter! |
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| Reviewer: mary ellis | Date: 2006-01-21 |
| Reviewid: 138776 | Chapter: 2 |
| Oh, I very much like Barty's conversations with himself, especially the way he chastizes himself--a bright, sensitive and troubled young man. And the conversation with Bella: good characterizations of canon personalities. Thanks. |
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| Reviewer: Katie Bilius | Date: 2006-01-19 |
| Reviewid: 138710 | Chapter: 2 |
| Brilliant! I thought Edith was Bella at first hehe. I always pictured Barty was less powerful (also a bit runty but tall) and therefore wanted more power when he was old enough to serve the dark lord. I was thinking Barty was physco from the start but you got the paranoia spot on! Please up-date soon! You are one of the few authors I find inticing! :D |
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| Reviewer: Scribbler | Date: 2006-01-19 |
| Reviewid: 138704 | Chapter: 2 |
Went *squee* when chapter two came up.
I like where you are going with this, and you write Bellatrix downright creepy, stalking Barty with the invisibility cloak.
Bit of criticism... I want to see you flesh out your writing a little more. Take time with dialogue, it paints the backdrop and mood of the characters in the story. The dialogue you seem to have in this fic is there to get from point A to point B. Take time on the important conversations. I feel as though Barty's conversation with Bellatrix would have been longer, and emotionally deeper. Bellatrix, like Snape, likes to taunt people and push all the wrong buttons whenever she can. (But that's just me, and even I have to ignore myself sometimes.)
Anywho, hope I made sense and didn't make you feel bad.
I really like this story, and I'm really excited to see where it's going! |
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| Reviewer: jessiebas2 | Date: 2006-01-09 |
| Reviewid: 138264 | Chapter: 1 |
| Wow! Great start! Love seeing stories from different POVs, and Barty Crouch Jr is a very interesting choice. His character intrigues me, and I love the way fanfiction explores different times, and ideas. Can't wait for chapter 2! |
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| Reviewer: madametibbles | Date: 2006-01-09 |
| Reviewid: 138247 | Chapter: 1 |
| Thanks for the compliments! The chapters after this one are a whole lot more complex. I'll get them up as soon as I can get them written/betad. About showing more thoughts, Barty begins to grow more introverted as the story continues, so you'll see alot of that. The characters are also given more depth. This chapter barely skims the surface. I hope I'll have Chapter Two up soon! |
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| Reviewer: mary ellis | Date: 2006-01-08 |
| Reviewid: 138211 | Chapter: 1 |
Wahoo! a story from a new POV. I've alays been fascinated by the Crouches and was so disappointed when the GoF screenwriters had to all but eviscerate the movie of their wonderfully oppressive, lurking presence. (sniff, sob!) Your story will help make up for that.
I love the idea of exploring Crouch, Junior's world. It's creepy listening to those kids dissing Mudbloods and not turning a hair about the uncle who was killed because he married a Muggle. You limn the characters nicely within the dialog. Terse delivery of information. Can't wait for more. |
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| Reviewer: Anya | Date: 2006-01-08 |
| Reviewid: 138166 | Chapter: 1 |
Oooh a very interesting first chapter, it sets a very good tone I think. We see Barty in the company of his rather questionable friends, and even as the son of a prominent government figure we see that the pure blood bias seems to be bred in by a rule. Really excellent idea for a fic, good tension between Barty and his friends and everyone else, I like that Albus is keeping an eye out on those Prefects, but a very good ending to the chapter too, very bitter sweet with a healthy amount of foreshadowing.
I'm happy to see that you are writing about the Death Eaters as humans with motivations and feelings and pasts rather than just reducing them to cheesy cut outs. I look forward to reading all about Bartys decent! |
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| Reviewer: Scribbler | Date: 2006-01-08 |
| Reviewid: 138144 | Chapter: 1 |
Hey there!
I'm really glad somebody finally decided to tell this story because any of us Barty fans (yes, I know he's evil... blah blah blah) know that his story is fascinating. This is cool. I really like your Slytherin characters. And Maggie cracked me up. I know a person who really reminds me of her, and that person's voice kept coming through with the character. Barty seems cool. You balance him very well between emotional!Barty and snide-and-prejudice!Barty, which are both parts of his character. This is important because I can see how down the road it will be plausible that he will be a death eater but still be the young boy who screamed for his father to save him.
Just a smidge of criticism: I think it's really important to show us what's going on in Barty's head. The actions and the outward stuff, but I want to see more how the Slytherin's process stuff. We know this group is against "mudbloods" but show me how they think it's justified to think that.
Again, thanks for writing this story! Please continue! |
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