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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 70

Reviewer: orangesherbertDate: 2008-10-14
Reviewid: 151160Chapter: 16
YAY! Fabulous chapter. You have done such a great job portraying the characters throughout this entire story. I always look forward to reading more, and it just keeps getting better and better! I love all the tension with Snape, and now with Cressida, and you have managed to make it all seem plausible, not fake. I do wonder where James is, but I appreciate that he's not really a large part of the tale yet. Anyway, these new (ish) chapters are great and I really enjoyed reading them. Keep writing!!

Reviewer: RowanRoseDate: 2008-08-29
Reviewid: 151062Chapter: 16
Delectable. And well worth the wait.

You have a talent for making characters rounded out and real.

And I just want to shake Cressida. Of course, that might just be *my* red hair. It's sad that Lily doesn't have more self confidence to deal with her anymore than she did with Petunia. Sometimes taking the nice concept too far allows people to walk over you.

Reviewer: LunamioneDate: 2008-08-27
Reviewid: 151059Chapter: 16
I love how you are portraying Lily and Severus. Their personalities are consistent and the dialogue is wonderfully done. I really feel you understand the characters. I can't wait to read more!

Reviewer: MishDate: 2008-08-23
Reviewid: 151024Chapter: 16
No worries about the wait, life happens, after all. ;)

Great chapter! Seriously, this made my day! I can't wait to see what happens when he catches up with her. *bites nails*

Wonderful to hear from you! Mish

Reviewer: silverfeatherDate: 2008-01-26
Reviewid: 150458Chapter: 15
please hurry and finish writing! you are really good

Reviewer: Fizzy FitzDate: 2007-12-18
Reviewid: 150170Chapter: 10
I'd like to hear more about Sirius and Cressida. Is Rosier really going to do something?

Reviewer: homeinmyigloDate: 2007-12-11
Reviewid: 150129Chapter: 15
omg, i almost cried, i've actually had a friend once break me down like lily did to cressa, and it's very realistic to me. i absolutely love this chapter =) anyways, i do hope you get another one out, but it's completely understandable if you don't, i wrote one that just friends could read a couple years ago, and it took forever to get updates. anyways, i love your writing!!


Reviewer: orangesherbertDate: 2007-12-05
Reviewid: 150090Chapter: 15
Ok, here is where I would BEG for another chapter tomorrow, except that you already said you'd try to get one out before the end of 2007 (and may I say, those words are leaving quite a bitter taste in my mouth...or hand, whatever). Either way, I'll just say AMAZING CHAPTER!!! You have captured all the emotions of every character so succinctly. It's really incredible. I liked Cressida's insight into Severus' true feelings, but it seems that Lily may have forgotten that in all the drama. I'm sensing some angst coming up for a few chapters and I say, milk it for all it's worth!! (not toooo long though, I really hope they become friends again). However, as you are the genius writing this story and it is so amazing ( I realize that I've used that word more that once, but I don't have enough adjectives that properly express my admiration), I will just leave the plotting to you and pray and beg and pray and beg and pray and beg that you get another chapter out soon!!! KEEP WRITING!!!!!!

Reviewer: bemoanDate: 2007-10-12
Reviewid: 149610Chapter: 14
Canon what’s canon? Just agreeing with SpellBound and I believe that since these are fictional characters it is all valid. But anyway I am eagerly waiting your next installment even though the end might be tragic. I think your writing style is great.

Reviewer: SpellBoundDate: 2007-08-20
Reviewid: 148939Chapter: 14
Oh canon be damned... I wish they would live happily ever after...

Reviewer: threeflowerDate: 2007-07-30
Reviewid: 148654Chapter: 14
Alright, well, I just wrote a really long, really detailed review of this chapter and then SugarQuill deleted it. And now I kind of want to punch something. Alright, time for a sum-up:

1) Sirius loving Regulus even though Reg turns DE but not really wanting to = awesome
2) Lily Evans = awesome. I'm pretty sure her dialogue of this entire chapter can be summed up as "Hug me, dammit!"
3) Severus = FRUSTRATING. But understandable. BUT SO FRUSTRATING.
4) Rosier flashback-voice = Creepy and well-timed.
5) Sentimental smell-off = Touching and also hilarious. "Severus resisted the urge to sniff his robes"... having had the "you smell like" conversation before, I almost burst a couple major organs in sympathy.
6) All the physical action of this chapter = Awesome, and well-described. I'm a big supporter of the writing "show-don't-tell" policy, and I really liked all the changing of positions and physical space-play that went on in this chapter, esp. between Lily and Sev.

Overall Feeling: Happy-yet-so-very-sad because this is about to get really bad really fast and I can totally tell. That feeling of blissful paranoia that's been stalking me since the start of this fic has come to a head here-- it's like being on a rollercoaster and hitting the precipice. Suffice to say, I sincerely hope, no matter how long the fall, our car doesn't crash and explode at the bottom.

Reviewer: threeflowerDate: 2007-07-27
Reviewid: 148636Chapter: 13
Ha! Oh, how I have missed your Lily/Sev brand of witty repartee. Seriously, I stand by my earlier assessment that one of the best qualities of your writing is your ability to totally milk your dialogue, and this is most true when we're dealing with the exchanges between Severus and Lily. They compliment each other so well... or maybe I should say they foil each other so well. Either way, your versions of these two are definitely my favorites, and will remain so long after this fanfiction is done. Random notes!

~James is...on my angry list right now. James as in canon!James I should note, not your particular version of him who, even though he gives Sev crap all the time, is largely dishing out what he's already had thrown at him. Canon!James on the other hand... hmm. I'll simply say that I'd always rather assumed there was, y'know, a good reason for he and the other Marauders giving Snape hell. I mean, much as I lurve him dearly, Snape is *far* from a nice person and even farther from a person that's easy to get on with. I guess I'd always thought he must've done something to them, been snarky or thrown a hex or whatnot-- and DH shot this assumption straight to the great beyond. So, anyways, James is on Paige's "DO NOT WANT" list right now, and this may effect my assessment of him in later chapters. I'm sure this'll tone down in a couple weeks after the amazing bit of Snape-love has had a chance to cool down but, yeah... you've been warned. I do appreciate that in your fic it's clear Sev's the only person James really gives any woe. "If those were the requirements, Godric Gryffindor would've welcomed *you* personally." Oh James... that makes me both laugh and gag on my own tongue.

~I love Dumbledore's treatment of Rosier, and the realization Lily comes to about it. It's just such a Dumbledore thing to do-- little things like that which are both made up and yet could be so totally canon are what makes this fic especially realistic. Woot for the D-Man! (He's...still kind of a jerk.)

~Holy crap, the mental image of beach-ball Sluggy made me snort into my earl gray. Lily's metaphors are always awesome. She really needs to write up a phrasebook and market that suckah.

~I love how clear it is that Lily and Sev are effecting each other, even without them directly saying so. Even their vocal patterns are changing, and it is dead cool to watch happen. Course I also love how they haven't changed, the ways in which they're not good people, especially with Sev because there's a lot that's wrong with him. He's not a nice person, and I really like that this is still reflected in your fanfiction, even while he is rather nice to Lily. For instance, I like that he was cynical of Slughorn and James, and that the main reasons he's PO'd at Rosier are that Evan used him and that he almost got him in hot water with Lily. His concern for Cressida is minimal at best and, honestly, that's the most realistic way for him to be. I don't *want* Snape to be a knight in shining armor-- part of the reason I've always really loved him as a character is that he's a good person with really bad tendencies. I mean, if you're a nice person, being good's easy, right? You don't even need to think about it-- if a little old lady needs help across the street, you just help her, no problem. But if you're not a nice person-- if you're kind of unpleasant, or kind of self-centered, or kind of arrogant, or kind of a liar-- then being good becomes something you actually *choose* to do, not just something you fall into. Does that make sense? Anyways, I suppose that's why I've always favored Snape; there's so many ways he isn't a naturally nice person that it almost matters more when he is.

Onward, hooo!

Reviewer: SlytherinSpiritDate: 2007-07-11
Reviewid: 148514Chapter: 14
Amazing chapter, although all the chapters are very good. I hope there isn't such a long wait between chapters again!

Reviewer: kellydofcDate: 2007-07-10
Reviewid: 148505Chapter: 1
What I wonderful story! I love the way that you develop the charaters. I really feel for Severus and am interested to see where you take his character. I look forward to more with baited breath.

Reviewer: ArimalkaDate: 2007-07-09
Reviewid: 148482Chapter: 14
Words cannot describe how happy I am that you've updated this. :) I actually cried while reading this chapter, because...oh, Severus. He just *can't* let himself be happy, can he?

Thanks for updating - I'm such a huge fan of this story!

Reviewer: illudwinnepooh4Date: 2007-07-07
Reviewid: 148465Chapter: 14
I really like this story - I just read it all for the first time. Your use of foreshadowing is wonderful, especially all those small hints about poor Sirius' future. And the joke about Remus not biting was great, as well. The plot is intriguing and well executed. Please continue writing!

Reviewer: HeadGirlInTrainingDate: 2007-07-07
Reviewid: 148463Chapter: 14
OMG. Update SOON!

Reviewer: orangesherbertDate: 2007-07-06
Reviewid: 148457Chapter: 14
Well, that chapter was definitely worth waiting for! It was excellent. Although, I was NOT expecting what happened at the end. Or maybe I was, but not from Lily! Either way, I will definitely be interested in seeing how James fits into this, especially after the latest developments. So, great chapter and KEEP WRITING!!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: homeinmyigloDate: 2007-07-06
Reviewid: 148454Chapter: 14
well, i really liked this chapter, it was good, i found it kind of wierd how sirius was like, half stalking cressida. but oh well, my friend found it romantic (she's also reading it, but is to lazy to create an account, so as her friend, i'm lettin her talk through me, she wierd like that) so anyways, i also found it interesting that snape actually enjoyed hugging a girl. i know, i still have that first impression of him that jkr gave us in the first book, and he seems so, untouching, like touching someone would ruin him, and he likes getting ruined. anyways, i'm sorry if you dont understand it. i'm exausted and it's really late for me. thanks for emailing me though and lettin me know this chapter was up. well, i have to go now.

Reviewer: XalerDate: 2007-07-06
Reviewid: 148450Chapter: 14
I love this story. It just keeps on giving. This chapter was so sweet, it seriously made my cry, I was so happy. I just love this. It is so good. I have always been a Lily/Severus shipper, and this story is just so great...The best fanfic I have read in a while. I love it! Keep it up!!!

Reviewer: orangesherbertDate: 2007-06-03
Reviewid: 148179Chapter: 13
Hey! I haven't seen a new chapter for a while, so I was wondering if you were going to update any time soon. I also re-read this story, and it only reminded me how much I love it. You are so good at weaving the themes together through the different chapters; this story really is a masterpiece. I am interested at how Severus reacts to Lily's suggestion that they meet again; does he maybe like her? Either way, I can't wait to find out and I also can't wait for another update!

Reviewer: Mcily NochiDate: 2007-03-26
Reviewid: 147603Chapter: 13
This is a fantastic chapter. I love the character development, though I wonder if perhaps Snape isn't a bit too nice and friendly. I look forward to the next chapter, and seeing how their trust finally gets violated and Snape turns into the nasty git that he is in canon.

Reviewer: orangesherbertDate: 2007-03-25
Reviewid: 147602Chapter: 13
Excellent chapter like always! Things are getting much more interesting now! I really like how well you've kept Severus and Lily in character throughout the whole story, and I also love how their relationship has progressed. I do wonder what's going on with James, though. We really haven't seen much of him.

Reviewer: homeinmyigloDate: 2007-03-25
Reviewid: 147600Chapter: 13
hey, just finsished, thanks for the update. loved it. hope you get more out soon!!!! anyways, i liked how the ending changed the mood of the story. it was a good idea to make it go from the now to the future.

keep it up!!

Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2007-03-25
Reviewid: 147596Chapter: 13
I wondered where Rosier learned all those nasty spells he used when he was a Death Eater. I think Snape is quite surprised that Lily is his friend, but the difference between optimism and pessimism is not only in character, but is what makes reading about the two of these interesting. As well, I am curious to how you are planning on building Lily and James's relationship, since they didn't date until seventh year. Keep writing.

Reviewer: homeinmyigloDate: 2007-03-12
Reviewid: 147435Chapter: 12
hey, i havent been on here in a while, and i just finished reading your story. i really like it, it's really great, i hope you decide to keep it up, i read through your memo at the top and saw you didnt update for two months, and for me that's gonna be to long, i know this is the first time i read anything by you, but it was really good and unlike most fanfix (sorry if this offends other authors, i really cant write myself) this actually kept me interested. i like how your style covers everyones side, and isnt just about one or two people. i also like your style, how well your characters fit so smoothly together. hope my review didnt waste your time, sometimes i wonder if people are bothered by my stating the obvious. anyways, i'm sleepy *yawn* but yeah, i guess i shouldnt bother you with my problems, so i'll leave, well not leave, but end this . . .


Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2007-02-08
Reviewid: 147138Chapter: 12
I like your descriptions of the dynamics of friendships in Slytherin, it's more about power and mutual obligation, isn't it? I'm not surprised that Snape wants to end his friendship with Lily, because as you say, he regards association with others as a potential source of weakness. I like how you illustrate that Snape's half blood status ensures that no matter how hard he tries, he will not be like others in Slytherin. Keep writing.

Reviewer: orangesherbertDate: 2007-01-12
Reviewid: 146847Chapter: 12
GREAT CHAPTER!! I loved it. You really know how to capture the emotions that your characters are feeling and put it into your writing. Again, Lily was excellent, really true to what I feel that she's like. Not to mention that Severus is also excellently portrayed. So, this is great and I can't wait until the next chapter comes out (I wish it would come out really soon, but I doubt that'll happen)!

Reviewer: threeflowerDate: 2007-01-10
Reviewid: 146823Chapter: 12
Um, make that "not" completely and totally tragic. Cough. I type good.

Reviewer: Mcily NochiDate: 2007-01-07
Reviewid: 146776Chapter: 12
Wow. That was a very powerful chapter. I can't wait to see what happens next! How will Lily react to Snape the next time she sees him? Oh, the suspense!

Reviewer: threeflowerDate: 2007-01-06
Reviewid: 146767Chapter: 12
Oof... this is getting almost painful to read. Not because it's bad at all (quite the opposite; as I've said many times, your work has such a professional structure and tone it's hard to believe that it's fanfiction), but because you know this is going to end soooo very badly. Because fics that involve the Marauder Era come hand in hand with the Inevitable Canon Future, it's sometimes hard (for me at least) to take them in completely; it always seems like some of the emotion, or some of the plot, or some of the meaning is lost for me. It's difficult to see the characters as people because you're so focused on the fact that you're looking at them as distilled through two lenses-- one the fanfiction author, the other the passage of time. You're fic, on the other hand, seems to have somehow weaseled around or through this barrier...that's why it's so painful. The Inevitable Future is still there, more than ever, but now I actually *care* about Lily and Severus, and even Sirius and James and Cressida (who's an OC, and as such would typically be written off as "useless" in my cynical little mind; to find myself actually worried over her is a huge achievement on your part as an author), it's becoming so...dreadful to imagine when it comes. Sev and Lily's relationship here is so well thought out, and so well played...augh! I really hope this manages to end in a way that it's just...completely and totally tragic. I'll accept a little tragic; I'll even accept some tragic. We'll see, huh?

Annnnyways, moving on from my pessimistic dreading of the future, this chapter was pretty excellent. You basically made me beg (mentally) for what happens next, but that's okay; I can wait (somehow...*wimpers pathetically*). Random things!

-Dude, is Evan a pathological liar on top of being a narcissist and sociopath? I give him props for never dropping his act, even when it's just him and Sev in the room, and Sev is so clearly not believing him at all. However, it's a, y'know, "wow-you're-damn-creepy" kind of props.

-All the stuff about Sirius truly hating Severus beyond the level of a schoolboy grudge was very interesting. Conflicts become ten times more interesting when there isn't really a bad guy, and you can sympathize with both sides, even if (at the same time) you realize both sides are being kind of stupid.

-Lily and Sev's relationship seems to be a lovely case of "one step forward, two steps back". I hope she believes him.

-Slytherin House is so screwy. Why does Dumbledore have it in existance?

I anxiously (on more levels than one) await chapter 13. See you soon...

(P.S. I'm sorry for the lack of a review on 11. It caught me at a very bad time family-wise and by the time I read it, I felt like it'd be silly leaving a review. Also, I was kind of worried at that point that you weren't going to continue-- I'm glad that you did.)

Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2007-01-04
Reviewid: 146736Chapter: 12
Interesting. I didn't think that Lily would blame Severus, because as you point out, friends in Slytherin only exist based on how much you can exploit the other person. The dream is interesting, with Snape's Muggle blood, and the hope of Lily. Keep writing.

Reviewer: orangesherbertDate: 2006-11-10
Reviewid: 146131Chapter: 11
I LOVE THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2006-11-05
Reviewid: 146071Chapter: 11
I really like the parallels that you draw between Lily and Severus. Both have had some pain from their families. I also love the fact that she is able to get him to open up to her. I agree that Severus would try to fight the attraction he feels. Keep writing, and as usual, Sirius has bad timing. :)

Reviewer: ArimalkaDate: 2006-10-26
Reviewid: 145950Chapter: 11
Oh. My. Goodness.

This is one of the best Lily/Snape scenes I've ever read. It was such an emotional rollercoaster for both characters, and I was actually crying by the end. And then the cliffhanger! Well, that was just cruel. =P

Reviewer: Mcily NochiDate: 2006-10-25
Reviewid: 145922Chapter: 11
Oh dear. Now Sirius is going to have the wrong idea, and it's going to make it hard for Lily to help Cressida. And Sirius has NO IDEA how to deal with victims of sexual assault! Yowza! I can't even imagine trying to force someone to go to the hospital wing after such a traumatic experience! I know he means well, but I can only hope he doesn't do any more damage in his incompetence!

Fantastic chapter. I can't wait to see what happens next. Everyone's going to be a mess and it'll all have to be sorted out.

Reviewer: MishDate: 2006-10-25
Reviewid: 145918Chapter: 11
I've read this chapter twice already! Thanks for the update!!!

Reviewer: orangesherbertDate: 2006-09-24
Reviewid: 145468Chapter: 10
PLEASE WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: Mcily NochiDate: 2006-09-22
Reviewid: 145447Chapter: 10
Wow. This is . . . really intense. Hits a little too close to home, actually, so that's all the review I'll leave. I'm hooked, though! Can't wait for the next update!

Reviewer: Mcily NochiDate: 2006-09-21
Reviewid: 145444Chapter: 4
Hi there! This is really, really good. Snape is being more decent than he usually is in fics about his youth, but I find it works anyway here. I am thoroughly enjoying the read, and catching up as fast as I can!

As I am just finished with Chapter 4, I'm going to hazard a guess as to the nature of the potion. I wouldn't be in the least surprised if it's the Wolfsbane Potion, since it is strongly sedative and contains moonstone, which would likely respond to the presence of the full moon. But it's probably too early to tell. :)

Reviewer: lilyfan06Date: 2006-09-21
Reviewid: 145437Chapter: 10
I love your story! Its very well written and very interesting. And while the whole Sirius/Cressida ship is cool, I'm dying to know what's going on with Snape and Lily. And what about poor James? When does he come into the picture? Sounds like it'll been a great story...I'm totally hooked. Hope you update soon!

Reviewer: threeflowerDate: 2006-09-20
Reviewid: 145421Chapter: 10
*shudders* That was...creepy. Very, very creepy. You were certainly correct in that it gets just a wee bit darker this chapter. Just a bit. You know, a tad. A wee bit of a tad.

While I was 99% certain Cressida would make it out of the whole ordeal relatively alright (except for some potentially serious emotional scarring)...well, 99% is not 100. I am, however, extremely relieved that she did; firstly for the obvious reason that Cressida rocks in her take-no-crap "high maintenance" way, secondly for the way it would completely throw the rest of the plot line for quite the loop, including all the little subplots running around in their stockinged feet. Although, I'm still *quite* curious how this is all going to effect the Lily-Severus side of things; something tells me Cressida's not going to be prepared to let her best friend play potions-buddy with the best friend of her almost-rapist (although that for Sev that would probably be "best friend" in the loosest sense of the term ). If Lily's still going to want to play potions-buddy anyway... Ooohhh, I sense trouble in the houses of Slythern and Gryffindor (*wrings hands in anxiety...and anticipation of the rest of the plot*)


-Interesting note about Tegan's dad being a werewolf hunter, and really all the werewolf discussion in this chapter

-Evan is a really good villain. I'm currently reading the book "The Devil in the White City" (which I highly recommend, bee-tee-double-u), in which one of the characters of the book is a psychopath and displays the same sort of tendencies we see from Rosier in this chapter. I find such people interesting, in a completely effed up sort of way... Good job showing his warped logic and worldview through his dialogue; how he kept on contradicting himself, and incorrectly identifying his feelings and actions and Cressida's.

-I think my lone complaint of the chapter would be that some of Cressida's reply/thoughts while Evan was going off on his little "How/Why I Did It" speech were almost too coherent for someone who'd been tied up in an alleyway and smacked around with virtually no chance to escape. Or, hm... maybe not so much too coherent as too responsive. For my part, if it were happening to me, I'd be almost solely focused on either finding a means to escape or freaking out; I probably wouldn't be concentrating too closely on what my captor was saying, especially after I'd established he was a wee bit of a loony. Then again, Cressida is rather different from me, and does know Rosier personally, so maybe I'm just blowing in the wind.

Another good chapter, especially in terms of action and slowly-building tension. I can't wait to read more! Especially if it involves more about Lily and Snape, both of whom I confess I have missed these past two chapters ;). See you soon (hopefully), and good luck with your school testing-nonsense.


Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2006-09-19
Reviewid: 145397Chapter: 10
Very chilling, and I like the fact that Rosier is so emotionless about what he is doing. I also loved Remus's conflicting emotions about the werewolf attack (was that Greyback?). Keep writing.

Reviewer: threeflowerDate: 2006-09-07
Reviewid: 145225Chapter: 9 *puppy eyes*

Reviewer: ArimalkaDate: 2006-08-26
Reviewid: 145026Chapter: 9
I'm just gonna say right now that Evan is Cree. Pee. *shudder* The whole encounter with Cressida was chilling, to say the least, and I hope she'll be alright.

I missed the Lily-Snape interactions, though this was a good chapter overall. Some of the dialogue seems a little clunky at times, though. Sometimes Sirius and the gang just sound a bit too...mature? They are only 16 at this point (I think) and sometimes I lose that 'teenager-y' feeling when I read this chapter. But all in all it was a nice chapter, and I look forward to the next!

Reviewer: threeflowerDate: 2006-08-10
Reviewid: 144728Chapter: 9

Seriously, though, a very good chapter. While I sort-of missed the character-development-ing of 8 the character-interact-ing of this one more than made up for it.
Random thoughts/notes!:

~How weird that every Slythern ever is considered evul...or, if not evil, then definitely jerk-ish. I wonder why that is-- it almost seems like a chicken vs. egg deal (does being a jerk put you in Slythern or does being in Slythern make you a jerk? It's a paradox! A paradox, I tell you!) Evan, on the other hand, seems to come by his wickedness naturally. I love how you describe him as angelic-looking until he can't hide his nature any more...Sev seems to be able to see through this immediately, being "friends" (I use the term loosely) with him, but even with Cressida it takes concentration to tell. Wicked people with violent natures are frightening enough but wicked people with violent natures who can easily fool you into thinking they're the opposite are dead terrifying. I truly hope Cressida turns out okay.

~Congrats on creating OC's I do not want to kill. Though I admit I'm still more interested in what the characters we know/love are up to, I also admit that I love reading Cressida and Tegan. Both are interesting, both blend into the HP-verse pretty much seamlessly...It helps that neither are Mary-Sue-ish. Tegan's too timid for her own good (although the "bitch" line was wonderful) and Cressida's too forward; they're both realistic and likeable and bounce off of Lily well even if they don't provide the same sort of foil Sev does. And now I'm using English-major terminology so I'm gonna shut up and go sing along with David Bowie.

~Sirius is a stupid-butt. *sticks out her tongue at him*

Oooookay, this is way too long. Hey, did you get my reply to your e-mail? If not, I apologize; I'm not sure if I sent it the right way, or to the right address. SQ's member-stuff confuses and enrages me. Anyways, yeah... I was kind of worried it didn't send. If it did, IGNORE ME!!

See you at 10,

Reviewer: threeflowerDate: 2006-07-16
Reviewid: 144196Chapter: 8
First of all, I'd just like to point out that I created this username so I could comment on your piece. Getting sucked back into the seductive but highly chancy world of Harry Potter fanfiction wasn't really my plan... but when my friend recommended your fic I decided to give it a go. And, despite the fact that this now means I'll be obsessively checking to see if you've updated (probably riffling through other Sugar Quill fiction in the process), I'm completely glad that I did. Your characterizations are some of the best I've ever *seen*-- a difficult task considering your main characters are all either deceased or fully matured in the canon-verse (well, "fully matured" is kind of relative). To write an in-character fanfiction about a time period of which we surmise much and actually know extremely little is a difficult thing to do, and you pull it off far better than almost every other Marauder-era writer I've read. I think part of this comes from the fact that you really seem to judge nobody in this; you don't doom any characters by making them wholly unlikeable monsters (in Snape-sympathetic fics the victim is James, in James-sympathetic it's Sev), but you also don't over-romanticize anyone to the point of being OOC and obnoxious. Also, the interactions of the characters in this are *really* interesting, esp. those between Snape and Lily (which are almost painful because you know *something* bad's gonna happen...ugh, do you know how weird it is to both really want to see some characters kiss and really want them to stay away from each other because you know the other shoe's destined to drop? Gah, it drives you insane! I mean, in a good way, but still...insane.) I'd best be off before I keep gushing. One thing I'd recommend is to keep an eye out for minor spelling errors uncatchable by spellcheck...they're not annoying or distracting, but, yeah. I've got to be constructive somehow!

I'll see you at chapter 9 (and until then keep checking back for it ^_~)

Reviewer: randyDate: 2006-06-26
Reviewid: 143731Chapter: 1
you should wright more the story was great

Reviewer: mary ellisDate: 2006-05-18
Reviewid: 142885Chapter: 6
Oh, I know this is way out of canon, but I love Lily and Snape together, especially in the very natural way you portray their relationship. What ever you do with them from here on out, I am really enjoying that you got Severus to loosen up for a day.

And as usual, I love the repartee, especially Sirius vis-a-vis Lily:

Lily: “You know, last time I checked, I still had a mother and a father, but you and Cressida are obviously ready to take their places. I suppose I should just owl them and let them know their services are no longer needed.” -- Ouch!

and Snape with Rosier, e.g.:

Rosier: “Like I said, your secret is safe with me. Just let me know how it turns out.” --Oo, that Rosier is a slimy little cuss.

And Snape's:

"As if I don’t have enough problems, now Rosier thinks I’m just as warped as he is." Tee-hee.

Keep it up!!

Reviewer: LacewingFliesDate: 2006-05-18
Reviewid: 142878Chapter: 7
Wonderful story! You do Lily's character very well. Please keep updating!

Reviewer: A_Wash1979Date: 2006-05-16
Reviewid: 142846Chapter: 6
You know elspeth, I'm not really a Lily/Snape 'shipper either, but I've always wondered what reason Snape would have for never talking about Lily. He's always spoken ill of James, but he never says anything at all about Lily. So I've always believed that Snape had a thing for her back in the day, and feels guilty for playing a part in her demise. This story is my way of exploring that. The fact that you're enjoying my story despite the fact that you don't ship L/S is a tremendous compliment. Thank you!

Reviewer: elspethdavisDate: 2006-05-16
Reviewid: 142843Chapter: 6
Another good chapter. I'm definitely not a Lily/Severus 'shipper but you've done such a good job building a plausible situation that I'm not opposed to the budding friendship.

Can't wait for the next chapter!


Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2006-05-15
Reviewid: 142824Chapter: 6
The Euphoria mixture section was quite amusing, and I do agree that a smiling Snape is scary. I think Sirius would be concerned about how close Lily was getting to Snape. I also agree that Snape would probably never really think of Lily romantically, and his idea to distance himself from her is very much in character. Rosier was very creepy. Keep writing.

Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2006-05-10
Reviewid: 142703Chapter: 5
Hmm, I hope that James's more mature behaviour will last. I also agree with Cresida that apologizing seems out of character for Snape, but I do like the fact that she doesn't trust him because he's a Slytherin. It shows how deep he was really disliked, as well as how deep the House divisions go. The part about the number thirteen was interesting, now that you mention it. Keep writing.

Reviewer: Amick_woodsDate: 2006-05-08
Reviewid: 142666Chapter: 5
Nice Schoenberg refernce! These chapters are great, I just stumbled upon your story today, and have really enjoyed it so far! The characters are accurate and fun. I look forward to the next installment!

Reviewer: ReesieDate: 2006-05-08
Reviewid: 142662Chapter: 5
Another great chapter - really enjoyed the excellent characterization. If the Snape-Lily relationship is part of JKR's story, I think you have given a very good picture of "how" in this story.

Reviewer: mary ellisDate: 2006-05-08
Reviewid: 142650Chapter: 5
Oooh Schoenberg--chief exponent of the 12-tone scale. No wonder he didn't like the number thirteen.
Liking this story, more and more. Your Lily and Snape remind me of one of my favorite songs by Joni Mitchell:

There's a sorrow in his eyes,
Like the angel made of tin,
What will happen if I try
To place another heart in him...

Can Lily do that? I wonder. Will her friends let her?

Reviewer: MW*Date: 2006-04-15
Reviewid: 141914Chapter: 4
I loved this! Stories with Snape and Lily are becoming my favoirite's, and yours is wonderful! Please Keep Writing!!!

Reviewer: elspethdavisDate: 2006-03-26
Reviewid: 141348Chapter: 1
I don't have time for a full review, but I wanted to let you know that I've enjoyed your work. Oh and I'm looking forward to the next chapter, so get to work ;)


Reviewer: mary ellisDate: 2006-03-25
Reviewid: 141321Chapter: 1
This is so good. You've created real, highly intelligent kids, firing off passionate insults one minute and comforting words the next. I love Cressida (I've got a daughter who's just like her--and I confess it--C's mother's feelings about dirty kids is one with my own), love Black (and I never have before--except in Thorn of Blood's 'Rebellion'--which is also in SQ's Latest Fan Fiction).

You've put into Lily's mouth all the questions I've ever wanted to ask Snape, and the answers are so revealing. Thanks! I can hardly wait for more. But don't rush it. You've put a lot of thought into your writing, and the insights, even more than the characterizations, are what make this piece so exciting.

Reviewer: ReesieDate: 2006-03-25
Reviewid: 141287Chapter: 4
I am really enjoying your story. I think your characterization of Snape is right-on, and Lily seems pretty good as well. It is a balancing act with Snape - going between his sarcastic nasty self and a more relaxed self - and I think you showed it very well in chpter 4.

I did think some of the banter between the marauders was a little off in the earlier chapters - especially with Lupin - and Slughorn seemed a little off to me in chapter one. He seemed more "normal" and an average teacher (in terms of shouting at the students) rather than his more "oily" and very competent self.

I'm really looking forward to the James-Lily relationship, as well as the Lily-Severus relationship. Your story also folds beautifully into canon.

Reviewer: MarigoldDate: 2006-03-24
Reviewid: 141283Chapter: 4
Oh. My. Gosh. I love this. I really am quite amazed. It is witty and endearing, and I LOVE the interactions between Snape and Lily. I don't generally read these prequal type stories, but this is flawless. It is just how I imagine it (I've suspected for a while that Snape cares for Lily somehow, but I never thought of the Potions connection!).

My guess for their potion is Veritaserum, perhaps this is what led them to be so honest with each other? In any case, I will be tuning in agin, hopefully soon!!

Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2006-03-24
Reviewid: 141279Chapter: 4
Another great chapter. I'm curious to know why Snape continues to have nightmares. Evan is quite creepy, and I could see Cressida being that assertive, and her mild flirtation with Sirius was well done. Lily's slap was hilarious, and I loved the line:
I was so worried he would be mean to me, I didn't even consider the possibility that he might actually be nice. I look forward to how this continues, and James's unfounded jealousy and sessions with her are going to be fun to read.

Reviewer: Chrissy SparkleDate: 2006-02-11
Reviewid: 139669Chapter: 3
DANG, I am loving this story! A whole lot! I really liked the first chapter; Severus' 'voice-over' thoughts were very entertaining! I'm glad Lily and Snape are getting along a tad, it's nice. Fantastic stuff...please continue!

Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2006-02-11
Reviewid: 139655Chapter: 3
Hmm, what crazy plan will Sirius and Cressida think of now? I loved the part about work ethic, I think that's an excellent reason why Snape would not sabatoge Lily's work. I loved his surprised expression when he realized that Lily is as good at Potions as he is. I look forward to how they will work together (or not), and what that potion is. I'm also curious as to whether or not Lily accepts James, since I didn't think they went out until their seventh year. But she must have changed her opinion between the OWL incident and then, but why?

Reviewer: mary ellisDate: 2006-02-10
Reviewid: 139637Chapter: 3
Hooray for the Meat People! And hooray for your Sirius and Cressida. I think they'll make a good team.

I thought Lily's changeover from bawling Severus out after their collision to talking about their need to cooperate was a bit abrupt though.

But I like how you worked all that stuff from HBP into Severus and Lily's conversation during Potions.

Looking forward to your next!

Reviewer: mary ellisDate: 2006-02-04
Reviewid: 139322Chapter: 2
Mmmm-nice. I'm glad Lily has a friend, even though Cressa's a lot like Sirius. I hope she gets over him. He doesn't need this beautiful, randy, independent girl fawning on him too. Better that he should be drooling over her.

Reviewer: mary ellisDate: 2006-02-04
Reviewid: 139321Chapter: 1
This has just the right amount of everything--wit, characterization, passionate feelings, and a great plotline with the Marauders maturing at last! Oh joy, oh rapture! I can't wait for more.

Oh--oh, I just had a thought to add to Snape's last line to Lily. How about: "I'll try to *Muggle*--er--muddle--through somehow." (Tee hee!)

Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2006-01-30
Reviewid: 139041Chapter: 2
I noticed as well that Slughorn mentioned that Lily and Severus were both very good at potions. The idea of them working together is an interesting one, and James's reaction is quite typical. Somewhere along the line he must muture and only then will Lily recognize that he's no longer the arrogant jerk that she called him in book five. The contract between Lily's funloving nature and Severus's studious surliness is something that I'm eager to see developed as the story continues.

Reviewer: ttaDate: 2006-01-26
Reviewid: 138905Chapter: 1
Very nice!

I like the way this fic is going. Even though the idea of pairing Gryffindors and Slytherins together during potions isn't very original I trust that you could make it work and write it well.

Everyone was in character and I look forward to the next chapter!

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