The Sugar Quill
Sugar Quill Community
- S.P.E.W (SQ History)

Fan Fiction and Writing
- Ask Madam Pince
(Story Submissions)
- Floo Network (Links)


Administrative Links

Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Unfinished
Review(s): 9

Reviewer: HelenHDate: 2006-02-18
Reviewid: 139999Chapter: 1
Oooh! Those pies sound very tempting! So, um, I liek your writing style. I mean, I thin it could be quite difficult over a longer piece, but here, with these lovers, it complements them nicely. Though, I do wonder if Tonks is a little wordy; she always strikes me as a blunt-speaker rather than a literary one, so I'm not sure her literary assessment of Lupin's poetry (fragmentary...)quite rings true
for me. However, I love her showing her maturity and sense in her assessment of their realtionship as 'unfinished' - that was beautiful. And I love Tonks taking charge. She might seem a bit of wuss duign HBP, with all the moping, but I believe she's tougher than she seems - she needs to be to persuade Lupin to change his mind.

Favoutite lines:
'He did not think, for several world-shattering minutes in the Hogwarts infirmary, that it was right or fitting for there to be hope, and it took longer still for him to believe that joy was now anything but obscene.'

Yes, with Dumbledore's murder, it would seem incongruously obscene to find happiness; I love that you've given him this conflict here.
'He thinks that perhaps now, in the stillness of night, his quill can find the words that his tongue cannot, but the blots and crossings-out on the parchment are testament to his remaining confusion.'

I like confused!Lupin. He doesn't like to make too easy on himself, does he? He asks too many questions. Makes Tonks by default seem even stronger, as someone needs to hold it all together for them ;-)

Thank you!

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-02-18
Reviewid: 139991Chapter: 1

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2006-02-12
Reviewid: 139714Chapter: 1
Lovely sketch and you write beautifully, but the editing seems missed up: no paragraphs whatsoever!

Never mind, I look forward to more from you.


Reviewer: EricaVeeDate: 2006-02-10
Reviewid: 139629Chapter: 1
Uh oh! I think you have a formatting issue!

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-02-10
Reviewid: 139612Chapter: 1
Would you try reposting, please.

Reviewer: LesleyDate: 2006-02-09
Reviewid: 139589Chapter: 1
So beautiful and so delicately drawn. I see a grieving and yet loving Remus, and Tonks, sadder, happier, and also loving. I would like to see more from this author.

Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2006-02-09
Reviewid: 139578Chapter: 1
Very sweet. I especially like Tonks telling Remus their relationship, like all ones, are unfinished. That's a lovely image. These two fit together so well, and I'm glad they could find happiness, especially in the midst of war.

Reviewer: beyondfreedom3Date: 2006-02-09
Reviewid: 139573Chapter: 1
I like this look into the everyday life of these two. The only very small thing I see, and this is only personal opinion, is that Tonks seems a bit mature. In the books I see her as youthful and playful, less serious and mature. Even when she is upset about Lupin she handles it in an almost childish sort of way. Anyway, keep writing. You have a way with words. Also, I want pie!

Reviewer: AlphieDate: 2006-02-09
Reviewid: 139541Chapter: 1
I think something is wrong with how this uploaded. It's all one big paragraph, which makes it rather difficult to read. It's unfortunate because the whole piece is just beautiful. Would you consider posting it at the Werewolf Registry?

The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For questions, please send us an Owl!

-- Powered by SQ3 : Coded by David : Design by James --