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| Dumbledore's
Army |
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Review(s): 21
| Reviewer: mary ellis | Date: 2007-09-01 |
| Reviewid: 149118 | Chapter: 1 |
| Whoa! Ash Christmas. So like Barty Crouch. I like your imaginative extension of his character to create an act that moves minds and consciences uncomfortably. How much of political history turns on such an act, from the Friday the 13th massacre of the Knights Templars to Hiroshima. Thanks, shiiki. |
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| Reviewer: Grace has Victory | Date: 2007-01-12 |
| Reviewid: 146845 | Chapter: 4 |
"thousands of scenarios, ranging from the mild (a bad prank gone wrong that had befuddled their brains) to the absurd (Potter was deadly jealous because Remus had chosen Black as an accomplice to murder Severus Snape). The wildest suggestion came from Dorcas, that Remus and Black were secretly in love and Potter had just found out."
LOLOLOL! You are taking a mean pot-shot at the stupider elements of the fandom here. Don’t you think Lily is altogether too interested in all this? The girls have managed to guess rightly as well as wrongly, yet it takes them three hours to abandon the subject. Lily ought to be alerted to her real feelings.
I didn’t expect the fight between James and Sirius either. It was inevitable, but I always thought of it as a Sirius/Remus problem, not a Sirius/James problem. It is so like Remus to assume that he should be the one packing his trunk. He’s in sixth year, and he still doesn’t trust Dumbledore’s justice!
The only really surprising thing about The Prank is that Sirius wasn’t expelled. I suppose he can’t go to Azkaban before he’s 17, but one does wonder why the Wizengamot didn’t require Dumbledore to take very drastic action. Sirius’s confession is the first step to the expiation of his crime, and you had me feel very sorry for him when you brought his parents into it. It never occurred to me that they would ever know about it! I can’t help suspecting that they would care more about their family’s public image than about Snape’s rights, and that Sirius would sense the distinction and question whether they really had the right to punish him.
The Remus/Alice ship is an interesting perspective. She is his girlfriend, but she can see that she has no chance of becoming his best friend … no wonder she eventually switched to an older man, and a dashing Auror at that! You make it very clear why Remus never had a serious girlfriend at Hogwarts; shallow romances aren’t his style, and intimate ones are not possible. It’s also interesting that you have Peter in the dark about The Prank – not only one step behind James and Sirius, but even a step behind Remus. You can see how an immature boy would resent this.
And trust Petunia to despise magic because wizards don’t use combs! |
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| Reviewer: Grace has Victory | Date: 2006-12-21 |
| Reviewid: 146557 | Chapter: 3 |
“His eyes are as green as a fresh-pickled toad…” A silly song like that seems just like James. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cringe, but I was annoyed with McGonagall. People really ought to be allowed to burn offensive letters in peace! James is thick if he hasn’t yet worked out that he can’t buy love with flowers, sweets and poetry.
There was certainly justice in the fight with Snape. It was James’s big chance to behave like a man worthy of Lily, but all he could think about was the insult of the moment. As for Snape, he doesn’t improve, does he? He has no real friends and no concept of how to make them.
The insight that James and Lily had once been friends was touching. Knowing that she had once had some reasons to like him makes some sense of why she eventually relented – I did always wonder about that. There was a nice reference to Slughorn’s lessons too – are you suggesting that Lily gave some inspiration to the half-blood Prince?
The very serious and distasteful topic of the Whomping Willow Prank is one that I always approach with caution. I don’t like that side of Sirius. I notice that you don’t give us much of a view into Sirius’s head, and that’s something of a relief to me – it would have happened so fast that James wouldn’t have had time to analyse his friend’s motives. You had James’s reaction spot-on – he may have been something of a bully, but he would unthinkingly draw the line well before murder. Contrary to James’s own assessment of the situation, you make us realise that he IS better than some of his enemies.
I’m on tenterhooks to see how you’ll deal with Sirius, a painful problem that can’t be ignored. In fact, even though I know what happens next, I have suspended my foreknowledge, and am desperate to find out whether Snape survives! |
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| Reviewer: Grace has Victory | Date: 2006-12-21 |
| Reviewid: 146556 | Chapter: 2 |
This is (IMHO) very fine writing. You make us feel the setting – a magical castle in the British winter – so that I actually felt cold as I followed the students out to the forest. The Thestrals were freaky, even though we had already met them in canon; I felt the shivers all over again!
James Potter was truly annoying in his pursuit of Lily Evans, yet I felt sorry for him at the same time. Since she did eventually accept him, there must have been some ambiguity in her attitude, and it must have been very frustrating for him. I liked your mature Lily – far too interested in current affairs to fuss about silly things like avoiding James – so unlike the airhead that we meet in the pulp fanfics. There were wonderful moments for the minor characters too: Sirius and his biting teacup, Peter unable to name the Head of the DMLE, and Hagrid with his Interesting Creatures.
The Darlington murder was horrible; I just wanted to skip over that part, so the horror didn’t really hit me until you mentioned that a daughter had survived. Learning that Lily and James had each lost someone really brought the story down to earth in a serious way.
My only criticism is that you could perhaps use a Brit-pick. And, being incurably trivial-minded, I’m desperate to know exactly how Alice is related to Alastor! |
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| Reviewer: Sara | Date: 2006-10-17 |
| Reviewid: 145776 | Chapter: 8 |
Thank you, that was a very touching sketch. Sad but retaining hope - sorry, I can't find the right words at the moment ...
Sara |
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| Reviewer: Sara | Date: 2006-10-17 |
| Reviewid: 145774 | Chapter: 1 |
Let alone this prologue promises a lot, I'll soon discover what's behind this tense atmosphere, I hope :-)
Sara |
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| Reviewer: Mcily Nochi | Date: 2006-05-22 |
| Reviewid: 142945 | Chapter: 8 |
Thanks for the acknowledgement!
What do I think? Hmmm. I think this is an incredibly thought-provoking story that is beautifully written and planned. It deals with issues that a lot of stories shy away from, and executes every scene with tenderness and understanding. This is a really beautiful fic, one that I would recommend to any friend. Thank you for writing it, and keep up the good work - you have real talent in making your characters come alive.
~Mcily |
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| Reviewer: Seedy Bea | Date: 2006-05-19 |
| Reviewid: 142893 | Chapter: 8 |
| oh,please, please, please, please, please write the sequel soon! I LOVED this. write quickly! |
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| Reviewer: Pineapple Queen | Date: 2006-05-18 |
| Reviewid: 142887 | Chapter: 8 |
I've been following this story, and I love it! Your portray Lily and James's dynamics just how I imagined them--and same for the Marauders.
-PQ |
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| Reviewer: Rainbow | Date: 2006-05-16 |
| Reviewid: 142862 | Chapter: 8 |
| Ooh, yay. That last scene was perfect -- just perfect. I'd love to see more stories from you! |
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| Reviewer: MysticBlueside | Date: 2006-04-14 |
| Reviewid: 141910 | Chapter: 5 |
I'm surprised this doesn't have more reviews! I originally found it from a rec on the fora. I'm a big fan of L/J fics, you see, and this one sounded promising. It really is very good; it's not weighed down by the darker things, but they are as present as I would expect for the time period. I also like how you addressed The Prank. I've seen it written many times, each time practically the same as all the others. I think yours, with the trial, is one of the most (if not THE most) believable versions I've read!
The format of the story gives just the right amount away, although sometimes I wish I could see into Lily's head even more. But it's fine as it is, that's just me liking her too much!
Keep up the great job, and I hope you have as much fun writing it as I had reading it! |
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| Reviewer: shiiki | Date: 2006-04-12 |
| Reviewid: 141859 | Chapter: 1 |
*Author's Reply*
Thank you so much, everyone who's reviewed this story! I just want to say that your comments mean a lot, and are really inspirational!
Sincerely,
shiiki |
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| Reviewer: tta | Date: 2006-04-12 |
| Reviewid: 141855 | Chapter: 5 |
Very powerful chapter. I liked it. The image of people burning alive was awful. *shudders*
I really like the fact that Petunia and Lily are still on good terms with each other, but it's obvious that it'll slowly change.
James eating the chirstmas dinner alone was such a sad image. I loved it.
I can't for the next episode, and for some L/J! |
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| Reviewer: Mcily Nochi | Date: 2006-04-11 |
| Reviewid: 141831 | Chapter: 5 |
Wow. This is fantastic. I love the characterizations, and I can't wait to see how James grows up, and how Lily realizes it. Also, the part with Petunia wanting Lily to leave the magical world underscores the dramatic transformation that "Pet" will be going through in the next few years as she grows to resent and finally hate the magical world.
I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this one! |
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| Reviewer: tta | Date: 2006-02-25 |
| Reviewid: 140261 | Chapter: 2 |
| Very nice start! James having a sister who died is an interesting plot line that I haven't seen yet, and I'd love to see what you make of it. I'm looking forward to the next chapter! |
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| Reviewer: Trovia | Date: 2006-02-21 |
| Reviewid: 140121 | Chapter: 2 |
I really like how this started. James interests me especially, I'm wondering about what happened to his sister. But the story of Ash Christmas also makes me curious.
Alice Moody - oh dear. Do I *want* to know if she is Moody's daughter? ;-) |
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| Reviewer: Grace has Victory | Date: 2006-02-15 |
| Reviewid: 139854 | Chapter: 1 |
| This is a very enticing beginning. Despite its "history book" tone, the narrative is immediate, and leaves me highly curious about what will happen next. |
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| Reviewer: Rainbow | Date: 2006-02-15 |
| Reviewid: 139844 | Chapter: 1 |
I like this! Things like this probably did happen, and do happen in real life, and need to be addressed. I can't wait to see where you take it.
The title reminds me of a song we sang in grade school -- "we rise again from ashes, from the good we've failed to do . . ." Coincedence? |
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| Reviewer: tta | Date: 2006-02-13 |
| Reviewid: 139787 | Chapter: 1 |
| This looks really promising! I loved the fact the event was called Ash Christmas (it just such a good name!) and I'm so glad someone's writing what looks to be a good l/j fic. Yay! :D |
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