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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Everybody's Fool
Review(s): 11

Reviewer: SaraDate: 2007-05-31
Reviewid: 148146Chapter: 1
Wonderfully done! You pictured Snape perfectly, I especially liked the various references to his potion-making, my favourite line being "The antidote to a blended poison is more than simply the combination of the antidotes to each individual poison." in its context. Since I belong to the Snape-is-on-the-good-side fraction I hope Snape's thoughts and motives as you show them will eventually become canon soon.
The Evanescence song hits the mark, from now on I'll listen to it much more carefully.

Reviewer: iseultDate: 2007-01-23
Reviewid: 146970Chapter: 1
Excellent. Beautiful writing.

Reviewer: CharleyDate: 2006-05-13
Reviewid: 142769Chapter: 1
"And yet, I was a coward. I should have faced death, embraced it and damn the consequences. Better to die than to betray. I should have fought the temptation to yield. But the truth was that I was afraid.
". My point exactly. Besides, what point does it have to kill the only one who knows how you tick? Nobody on the right side would ever take his word again, and what use are you then as a spy? *grumbles furiously*

Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2006-05-09
Reviewid: 142690Chapter: 1
As with your latest fic, this manages a superb, reflective voice within a moment of furious action. And again, the wholly sympathetic and believable Snape!psyche you're exploring here makes it work. For the record, I agree with your analysis of Snape's motives, so I'm more inclined to lean towards your portrayal of the man, but just so, I'd be irritated and disappointed were you to represent views I hold dear with anything less than the excellence you display here. On a nit-picky note, I don't think Snape would the phrase "mess up" as in "I had sacrificed too much to mess up at the last moment." It is too informal an idiom - certainly in the context of this very somber reflection and especially at this very climax of the piece, which is just where your writing needs to be at its tightest.
Favourite lines include: "He looked weak, fragile. I could feel the anger now welling up in me, and I let it grow. I would need it." The brief observation, followed by the longer, introspective sentence set the scene for the third statement, forebodingly short and returning attention back to the events external to Snape's psyche. Beautifully structured.
"My chambers were dark that evening, I remember." In a single succint and evocative sentence you give us a physical context, a mood and the information that this is a memory. What a beginning!
"I know looking back on it that he could never have understood what had happened in the tower. He would never understand why I had done it. He could have had no idea of the torture it had been to climb those steps, or of the agony of the past year when I had known it was coming and could do nothing to stop it. He had no idea what I had done to prepare, or how much strength it had taken to throw open the tower door. The only man who had ever trusted me, the man who had given me the only second chance I ever had in life, was murdered by my hand. I would never be whole again." What better exposition of the agony of being Snape could there be? Thank you for rendering him so sympathetically and realistically.

Reviewer: Arianna of BellezzaDate: 2006-03-26
Reviewid: 141353Chapter: 1
Wow! This is wonderfully written. I can definitely see the argument that Snape could be good now, and the reasons to why he said what he said.

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-03-10
Reviewid: 140766Chapter: 1
Most Excellent, simple, and canon.

Reviewer: RileyDate: 2006-03-07
Reviewid: 140652Chapter: 1
So well written. This is exactly the predicament and pain I see for Snape. I love the correlation with the Evanescence lyrics as well. Impressive.

Reviewer: ReesieDate: 2006-03-07
Reviewid: 140644Chapter: 1
Extremely well written, and a fascinating and original look at our Prof. Snape. I especially loved your line: "I was in no danger. Everyone here thought I was on their side. I was the one who had no idea where my loyalties lay." I would love to read more about this from you - to see how you would fit in the Unbreakable Vow as well - and what you think happened next to Snape.
The only thing that didn't feel 100% right was Snape's character. He seemed very thoughtful, calm, at some times even wise, as he related this story to us. I didn't sense his anger and cruelty - his deep pain - that he shows us in the books. I hope you'll write more on this topic.

Reviewer: mary ellisDate: 2006-03-06
Reviewid: 140632Chapter: 1
Brrr, I think I need a hot, comforting cocoa after that one. Thanks for a chilling study of the most intriguing character in the Magicosm in his(up to now) most anguished moment--Severus Snape: contemptuous, implacable, but already mortally wounded in his soul.

You relentlessly fire off contrasting, fishhook-barbed phrases, that transfix us, that cannot be easily removed from memory:

"The mark on my arm...sealing my doom..."
"I would be hunted, protected only by my enemies. They would celebrate over my destroyed soul."
"Everyone here thought I was on their side. I was the one who had no idea where my loyalties lay."

And we discover the essence of other characters, captured in your Snape's basilisk stare:
Voldemort: "...a way of peering into your soul that at once burns you and turns your core to ice."
Dumbledore: "...his gaze burns deeper, melting away defenses until your soul is bared."
The Deatheaters: "...my compatriots...have the anger and the self-righteousness to do damage, but they do not know how...to make it a lethal weapon instead of simply a destructive one."
Draco: "...I knew the boy, and I knew the man he was trying to kill, and I knew that it would be left to me at the end."
Harry: "I did not feel his rage. Later, I would recognize how justified it was, and I would hate myself, but then I could not feel it."
And: "Let him know the truth, let him know where all his little tricks and cheats had come from, let him know who was the powerful one here . . . "
And again: "This little brat, who had made my life miserable simply by existing, could not presume to mock me for the most excruciating act of my life."

This makes a perfect companion piece to Anya's "Speak with the Dead," to which I am terminally addicted, though her Snape has not yet come to the end of his road.

I look forward to more of your writing. Thanks again!

Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2006-03-06
Reviewid: 140628Chapter: 1
I liked the fact that you mentioned the fact that although Snape is not surprised at Draco's inability to kill Dumbledore, he sees it as weakness. He also sees Dumbledore pleading, and is annoyed that Dumbledore is so weak. I also loved the line about him being stretched thin, because you can feel the tension he is under, and that Snape is the one who had no idea where his loyalties lay. I especially loved the paragraph where he wrestles with the fact that he did take the coward's way out. It makes him a lot more human, and although Dumbledore's murder can't be justified, I like the fact that you show his regret, and his musing that a part of him had died as well. Very chilling, sad, and well written.

Reviewer: ChocaholicDate: 2006-03-06
Reviewid: 140609Chapter: 1
Very, very good. I like this look into Snape's soul. I'll be very interested to see if this runs close to canon in book 7.

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