The Sugar Quill
Sugar Quill Community
- S.P.E.W (SQ History)

Fan Fiction and Writing
- Ask Madam Pince
(Story Submissions)
- Floo Network (Links)

Forums

Administrative Links

Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Rebellion
Review(s): 3

Reviewer: ceriDate: 2006-05-08
Reviewid: 142658Chapter: 1
this is a great start - this could be a great story - keep writing please

Reviewer: mary ellisDate: 2006-03-22
Reviewid: 141192Chapter: 1
Finally, a brooding, sardonic Sirius I can relate to. Almost makes me think of Snape, but, of course, unlike Severus, Sirius likes people and wants to make friends.

My favorite line (actually, I have lots, but this is soooo Sirius-Black-comedy):

"Of course I would impress everyone by being the first Black to enter Gryffindor, make huge numbers of friends that my family would disapprove of, possibly excel in the classroom, but only if I felt like it..."

And the foo-ball game delighted me. It reminds me of my own childhood, when a tin can and an alleyway and a half-dozen scruffy friends were all you needed for the best kind of after-school afternoon.

Please keep it up. I really want to eavesdrop on your Sirius at school. I never liked him before, but I sure do now.

Reviewer: ReesieDate: 2006-03-19
Reviewid: 141086Chapter: 1
I do have some constructive criticism, but first: the content of this story, and your previous one, is wonderful. I haven't read a story with this plot line before and you make it so interesting. The characterizations are very good - it is interesting to imagine how Sirius will develop the arrogance that we see in him as a teenager. I hope that you will write more chapters like this.

Although content is very important, grammar and spelling are as well. If your reader has to stop and puzzle over a misspelling, or make sure they understand a sentence in the same way you intended it to be understood, it interrupts the mood of the story. It reduces the trust the reader has in the author. I noticed these issues in both stories.

I look forward to reading more of your writing!

The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For questions, please send us an Owl!

-- Powered by SQ3 : Coded by David : Design by James --