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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 12

Reviewer: moose42Date: 2006-05-07
Reviewid: 142607Chapter: 1
Yay! Purty story, Brib.

Reviewer: silver_blaiseDate: 2006-04-22
Reviewid: 142141Chapter: 1
HAHHAHA. hilarious. Ricoe Suave ;) i like. where's the rest?!

Reviewer: Zia MontroseDate: 2006-04-12
Reviewid: 141865Chapter: 1
This was wonderfully original, but I have to agree with Alkari that "Rico Sauve" is too contemporary a phrase for Marauder era. I felt like I was reading a distracting typo each time I came across it. I love this thought: "PRETTY REDHEAD GIRL. MUST GO TALK TO HER NOW". Who hasn't made a fool out of themselves for having an abundance of eagerness but no plan! James is lovable in this piece.

Reviewer: bennedettoDate: 2006-04-01
Reviewid: 141529Chapter: 1
Absolutely. Entirely. FANTASTIC.

Your James is one of the best I've seen in a while; far, FAR better than mine. I give you a virtual pat on the back for this fantastic piece of work; I shall be waiting on tenterhooks until the next segment.

Reviewer: Falling DampsDate: 2006-03-25
Reviewid: 141328Chapter: 1
I really love your beginning - you had me grinning the whole way through it! Rico suave, indeed. :) It's an interesting and unusual style you're using, not like anything else I've ever read. Looking forward to the next chapter!

"show your face in polite society when you have been punched by Lily James, with the black eye to show for it." I think you mean Lily Evans here?

Reviewer: AeternaDate: 2006-03-25
Reviewid: 141322Chapter: 1
I can honestly say I've never read a fic quite like this before, and I like it. You've got an eccentric style of narration that is really enjoyable once you get used to it. The last line is really great. If I have one nitpick, though, it's that your transition between passage-of-time sort of narration and focusing on one situation tends to be a bit choppy. (I'm sure there's a more technical, sophisticated way of saying that, but I'm not an English major, so I wouldn't know.)

I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Much love,
'Terna

Reviewer: Madaline FabrayDate: 2006-03-25
Reviewid: 141320Chapter: 1
Cute! Great look at the inside of James' head.

Reviewer: celtickitty89Date: 2006-03-25
Reviewid: 141286Chapter: 1
Aww James is as cute as Harry. Does he have a monster too?

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2006-03-24
Reviewid: 141270Chapter: 1
What an excellent start into the story! I was chuckling the whole way through. I love the slightly Douglas Adams-like absurd narrating style you have.

Reviewer: AlkariDate: 2006-03-24
Reviewid: 141269Chapter: 1
I enjoy the premise of the story, with James' obsession and Lily's continued rejection of him. The reaction of James' friends is good, and I loved Sirius' idea of 'Anniversary' celebrations!

BUT - have you had this Brit-picked? This is set in 1970's UK. What does "rico suave" mean, and why or how would James and all his friends be familiar with it and use that term? The plain adjective "suave" is OK, a la James Bond, but your use of "rico suave" was really jarring, because I simply don't think it is 'British' type language, especially not for that time.

Reviewer: Fab4MumDate: 2006-03-24
Reviewid: 141268Chapter: 1
I have to confess, I can't hear "Rico Suave" without thinking of an episode of "Pinky and the Brain" - but I digress. I like the humor and James' teenage self-talk. The Marauders' amusement at James' persistence is very good, too. ("Prongs--you're not--?" began Remus. James headed straight for Lily. "He is," said Peter. "I wish I had some popcorn," finished Sirius.) Nice!

Reviewer: PonderousDate: 2006-03-24
Reviewid: 141264Chapter: 1
I love how sparklingly witty your writing style is, so perfect for the (apparently very odd) internal monologue of James Potter. I have to start using the phrase "rico suave" now.

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