|
| Dumbledore's
Army |
|
|
|
Review(s): 4
| Reviewer: hemhem | Date: 2006-05-02 |
| Reviewid: 142459 | Chapter: 1 |
| WOW!!!That was such a cool story!I liked the way you captured how Gryffindor was so brave, but you didn't make Slytherin's hormones (yes, actualy I prfer reffering to them as "hormones") for Hufflepuff seem very realistic, and you kind of rushed through it a bit. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: EricaVee | Date: 2006-04-30 |
| Reviewid: 142422 | Chapter: 1 |
| My only problem with this is that the old-fashioned "thee" and "thou" dialogue doesn't read entirely correctly. If you want to use those grammatical constructions it reads better if they're used throughout and done correctly. Other than that I really like this, I want to read more to see how it plays out! I'm especially interested in Salazar and Helga, I hope there's more of that pairing to come. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Reesie | Date: 2006-04-30 |
| Reviewid: 142413 | Chapter: 1 |
Very well-written, and great flow and description. Enjoyable reading.
As I was reading, I felt as though I wanted more explanation with a few things: the contrast with Salazar's personality and his immediate attraction for Helga, what type of magic had brought these four wizards here and produced the fireballs, and why Salazar's parents would opt to break their wands and live as Muggles (very intriguing but I would like more info).
Very interesting to have Salazar interested in potions (shades of Slughorn and Snape!), and great description of Godric - on a white horse and all - foreshadows both the sword and the Gryffindor "quest for glory"!
Good length for a beginning chapter - to set the stage - but hope the others are longer. Very nice. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
|
|
