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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Tom Takes Advice
Review(s): 13

Reviewer: PensievePersonDate: 2006-08-16
Reviewid: 144818Chapter: 1
This is great and so ironic.

Reviewer: corvidaeDate: 2006-05-20
Reviewid: 142915Chapter: 1
how interesting. yes tom has been unfortunately hasty in the past hasn't he?

Reviewer: silver_blaiseDate: 2006-05-19
Reviewid: 142892Chapter: 1
a very short but insightful and well characterised bit. Great job =D and you got Slughorn down pat, and Tom's almost amusement... very nicely done.

Tom nodded, still with that almost-smile pulling at his mouth.

Reviewer: Ada KensingtonDate: 2006-05-07
Reviewid: 142622Chapter: 1
I only have two quibbles with this otherwise stellar miniature portrait of everyone's favourite villain, so I'll get them over with here and then skip to the praise! ^_^ The first is the presence of Fenrir Greyback. Now, I know there's nothing in canon to contradict your story, and this is merely a hunch, but from what we've seen of Greyback, it seems like he is numbered among the few wizarding childred who never attended Hogwarts. Lupin was only admitted because he had Dumbledore's backing, and even then we are told the Headmaster had to pull quite a few strings to get the poor boy in. I'm not sure whether Dippet would have been as accommodating.

The second is the last paragraph. Maybe I'm biased because I like a good Darkfic, but the tone you were setting at the start of the fic with really well observed lines such as this one: “Er, yes,” Slughorn said, with the uncomfortable sense that in spite of all superficial deference on Tom’s part it was not Horace who was controlling the conversation," is at odds with the almost fluffy ending. Well, I say "fluffy" it's really not - it's more as though there's a glimmer of hope in there. You mentioned in your author's notes that having Tom on loan was scary - and it seemed that he got the better of you eventually, as though you just couldn't bring yourself to delve any deeper into the dark recesses of his soul. I've written Tom before and you just can't take any lip from him. You've got to roll up your sleeves, so to speak, and wade right into the black river, even though you can't see the bottom or what's on the other side. It's all or nothing - and it IS scary - but you have to perservere. The end result is always so, SO worth it. ^_^

But that said, I want to skip to the praise. You totally nailed Horace Slughorn, and I'd like to highlight this line in particular: "Slughorn licked powdered sugar from his fingers." I could SEE the man doing it. I could see the sticky saliva glistening on his fat hands and his satisfied expression. What a horribly lovely image. His mannerisms and his way of speaking, of addressing Tom, was just wonderful.

You also nailed Tom, in that his insincere obeisance was perfectly played out, and I liked that first little description of Tom entering Slughorn's office with "a charming hesitancy." Nice image.

One last thing... Crystallised ginger? Ugh. Just what the world doesn't need. ^_^

Thanks for the great Tom fic, though, Seaspray. There's a distinct lack of good ones out there, and I'm glad you had the courage to experiment with him.


Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-05-04
Reviewid: 142516Chapter: 1
Quite good; and I loved the crystallized ginger.

Reviewer: shiikiDate: 2006-05-03
Reviewid: 142496Chapter: 1
Like your other two stories that I've read, this was beautifully written. I think you've a wonderful talent for writing, and I hope you'll continue with more!
I enjoyed Slughorn's characterisation - especially about the food gifts!
The last line was just brilliant! And really funny too.
Tom may be scary to write, but I'm glad you still borrowed him from JKR, because you did it well!
Keep up the good work!
(Oh dear, I'm rather overusing exclamation marks in this review, aren't I?)

Reviewer: dogstarDate: 2006-05-02
Reviewid: 142481Chapter: 1
I love your opening paragraph - the characterisation of Slughorn is wonderful.

~Slughorn licked powdered sugar from his fingers.

Ugh - what a slimy, odious man. And at the same time you evoke the atmosphere of the times with real subtlety and restraint.

~The backlash from the recent Muggle Rights Bill had stirred a great many Pureblood families into a sharpened political awareness,


Then the dialogue is very well-controlled, powerful and builds on the atmosphere of threat you've created. I'm not entirely sure about the the humour of the crystallised ginger at the end. Or maybe it's that the last sentence doesn't *quite* seem to fit the rest of the story. But then - it does fit that it's the sort of elementary mistake Tom might make - it's empathy he lacks after all, and the chink in his armour. Now I've talked myself into thinking it's the right ending after all! *headdesk*
Really good to see this up here.

Reviewer: Author by NightDate: 2006-05-02
Reviewid: 142476Chapter: 1
Spooky... poor Slughorn, I feel bad for him.

Reviewer: ReesieDate: 2006-05-02
Reviewid: 142464Chapter: 1
Really excellent. Characterizations were spot-on. I loved all the references to canon. Hope you'll write more like this about Tom Riddle.

"Vera Libergrath used to complain you never left the genealogy section in the library.”

Watch out, Vera!

I also liked the Ginger surprise at the end - I thought it was going to be some type of switch from the expected.

Reviewer: PonderousDate: 2006-05-02
Reviewid: 142460Chapter: 1
This is so much fun. Your characterization of Tom -- his assumed politeness and the fiendish amusement he hides just well enough so that Slughorn can't see it but we can -- is very well done and Slughorn in all his oblivion is spot-on. And this confirms that crystallised ginger is the preferred snack of evil, a fact I'd always suspected.

Reviewer: jncarlinDate: 2006-05-02
Reviewid: 142458Chapter: 1
I love the "almost-smile" when he rejects the idea of being an Auror. And your Slughorn is spot-on. Very nice character work here.

Reviewer: mary ellisDate: 2006-05-02
Reviewid: 142454Chapter: 1
You've caught both characters very well. I like the reference to the Time Turner. I wonder what kind of mischief Tom could have made with that.

Reviewer: AstridDate: 2006-05-02
Reviewid: 142450Chapter: 1
Crystallised ginger...oh, perish the thought! ;)

Good work.

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