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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: The Lonely
Review(s): 20

Reviewer: temeraireDate: 2006-05-30
Reviewid: 143119Chapter: 3
Neville's a great guy and this was a lovely expression of that. It's too bad he can't see his own worth, entirely. Such loyalty as he's given Harry and the others is all too rare.

Such a lovely chapter, I hate to nitpick ... but didn't they share the Felix Felicis with Luna and Neville?

Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2006-05-29
Reviewid: 143100Chapter: 3
I really like how you move from a sense of Neville's isolation to a sense of contentment. The part with Neville's grandfather was encouraging. It was also interesting to see how much confidence he gave Neville, and how much he was missed. Neville's desire to fit in and not be an object of pity for his troubles with school or his parents, only to discover that he has people he can rely on and who appreciate him for who he is, was great to see. I also loved the friendship of Luna and Neville. I look forward to more of your writing.

Reviewer: Lady TehanuDate: 2006-05-29
Reviewid: 143097Chapter: 3
Whohaaa!! That was amazing! You really know how to build up a character´s world so that it fits completely. I enjoyed reading your Neville piece.

The way you describe his relationship to his grandparents or how he is interacting with Ron, Hermione and Harry. It is all so fitting and you show how deep this silent character is.

I also like your statement that Neville doesn´t want pity or even need an overly large amount of it. I always felt sorry for him, because the trio doesn´t seem to know what a decent person they miss while ignoring him. It´s somewhat reassuring to know that at least Neville knows that they have some sort of silent friendship.

And I absolutley adored your Luna lines:

“Oh, yes. I have seen someone,” she replied calmly.

“Who? Where did you see them?”

“I saw Ernie Macmillan last week. He was carrying a large stack of books from the library and mumbling to himself. He’s a bit mad, if you ask me,” she said.

That was hilarious!!! I really stopped in the track of the events and laughed my head off. I could really picture the scene.

Are you going to write something about Luna next time? I´m really looking forward to that story, if you have the intention to write it.

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2006-05-28
Reviewid: 143089Chapter: 2
I feel sympathy for Percy, but pity for Draco. He's effectively helped Voldemort to trap him, so that there really is no way out. He won't accept the offer of help that Snape gives him because he's so desperate to do this on his own, but the very fact he's on his own makes it worse. You really capture this horrible paradox. You also bring a dark irony to the fact that Harry actually gives him renewed energy to continue in his purpose.

"Cold, he paused at an open window, letting the spring breeze dance across his face. But the warm air was no match for the chill that had taken root in his bones. He stuffed his icy hands into his pockets to warm them. As he watched the carefree students outside enjoying the last few hours of daylight, he felt trapped a world away." - constantly afraid, no wonder he's cold.

"to Crabbe’s nosy questions at their first Apparition lesson, Draco thought that Potter already knew too much. But he wished he knew exactly how much of their conversation Potter had actually heard. Draco often felt Potter’s eyes on him during meals in the Great Hall, flooding him with paranoid thoughts." - well, Harry may not be good at Occlumency or Legilimency, but his gaze can inspire fear without that! Of course, Draco's paranoid, anyway.

"“I said I’d come back, didn’t I? I always do what I say I’ll do,” he said, attempting to sound confident." - oh, poor Draco.

"He was taken aback by his wretched appearance. He could not remember the last time he had really looked at himself. At that moment, he was certain that he would fail. He could feel time slipping away like sand through his fingers. He only hoped that the Dark Lord would murder him before he had to face his father as a failure." - this is a perfect description of his nadir.

"I am alone in this, Draco thought. I will be the only one to control my destiny. I will succeed." - a bit late to decide that, but still, there is time.

Excellent chapter.


Reviewer: NunduDate: 2006-05-28
Reviewid: 143087Chapter: 3
This is a wonderful series. You have taken some of the truly lonely souls in these books and taken a hard long look at a moment in their lives. Neville's particularly touched me. I do hope there is more to look forward to from you in this study.

Reviewer: Genne-veraDate: 2006-05-28
Reviewid: 143082Chapter: 3
awwwww. talent for teary-ness? you've done it again, well done! his reflection on everyone throughout the story is superb! wonderful!

Reviewer: ButterscotchDate: 2006-05-25
Reviewid: 143036Chapter: 2
I love your writing. Once again you help us to see a familiar situation from the perspective of a different character. Your characterization of Draco (and Myrtle for that matter) is right on -- you had me feeling sorry for him, but not sympathizing with his predicament. I love the sense of rebirth, how his brush with death has renewed him -- this fills in a missing moment perfectly! Thank you!

Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2006-05-22
Reviewid: 142977Chapter: 2
Chilling but also thought provoking. I'm really glad that we are able to see how much Draco cares about his family, and the extent to which he will go to protect them. The fact that Draco can feel something other then hate is well displayed here with his frustration and fear of failure. Your idea that Draco represses his emotions seems very realistic, and I also like the fact that he feels removed from everyone else, that no one can understand what he must do. The last line about him controling his destiny not only shows his determination, but is also bittersweet, as we know that it is unlikely to happen considering his position. Please continue.

Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2006-05-22
Reviewid: 142954Chapter: 2
Chilling. and True.

Reviewer: Lady TehanuDate: 2006-05-21
Reviewid: 142941Chapter: 2
That was wonderful once again. I really slip into the character when I read your stories. You certainly know how to fill the blanks of the book. They are all so fitting.

Reviewer: ButterscotchDate: 2006-05-17
Reviewid: 142873Chapter: 1
You really portray what I believe to be true about Percy -- he's lonely, he misses his family, but he's too proud and embarrassed to make the first move.

I feel bad that Percy's attempts at reconciliation actually make the situation worse. But it helps to see that Percy's motivation and feelings are not as mean-spirited as we might otherwise believe. Scrimgeour's betrayal of Percy really twists the knife. Any opportunity Percy had of reconciling with his family disappears when Scrimgeour asks Harry to walk with him. So sad that Percy realizes too late!

I especially appreciate that you tell a familiar story, one that we know well, from a different perspective. Although you keep exactly to the story, seeing everything from Percy's perspective really changes it. Thanks for giving us a second way of reading the Christmas dinner scene!

Reviewer: HarrietMckDate: 2006-05-16
Reviewid: 142839Chapter: 1
Can totally picture the scene at the Weasley's Christmas going just like this; great work with that and with writing convincingly from Percy's POV. I actually felt sorry for him.

Reviewer: AmandaBDate: 2006-05-15
Reviewid: 142823Chapter: 1
I really like this. But then I've always thought Percy does really miss his family. I really liked Ron saying that it was Harry's chair, and Ginny's remark about the Ministry. I do think he would be annoyed at how Scrimageour manipulated him, and you really sense his loneliness when he says there's no place for me here anymore. Keep writing.

Reviewer: WestelDate: 2006-05-15
Reviewid: 142819Chapter: 1
Beautifully done! I have hopes for Percy and the Weasley family yet. He was a prat, but I saw a softer side of him when Harry rescued Ron from the Black Lake. He is, after all, a Weasley! I enjoyed this immensely!

Reviewer: Lady TehanuDate: 2006-05-15
Reviewid: 142816Chapter: 1
Wow. That was really a good characterization of Percy. It really shows how lonely he must be and that he is not just the careerliking git his siblings want to see.
I also like the way you show his workbackground. How people just seem to use him and how lonely he really is. Pretty sad he can´t improve his situation as he is such a pompous git *sigh*

Reviewer: chocaholicDate: 2006-05-14
Reviewid: 142806Chapter: 1
This makes me want to cry. I hope that Percy manages to come back into the fold in book 7. True, he's a pompous git, but the family needs to be whole again.

Reviewer: Antonia EastDate: 2006-05-14
Reviewid: 142805Chapter: 1
*Sniff* Poor Percy. I like the way you manage to keep what he says in canon in line with how he's feeling and yet also make us feel sorry for him. I liked his reactions to Harry and to Ginny as well. And Molly breaks my heart.

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2006-05-14
Reviewid: 142803Chapter: 1
I feel very sorry for Percy, here. I can just see Scrimgeour doing this to him just so he could get to Harry. I wrote something about it myself, called "Cat's Paw", which is here on the Sugar Quill. I'd be interested to hear what you think about it. Percy's uncomfortable 'reunion' with his family is so painful: he just can't seem to stop himself from saying the wrong thing, even though he knows it's wrong.

Favourite Part: "He felt certain that his mother was watching him walk away through the window. He could feel the weight of her gaze on his back, though he did not dare turn around. He could not bear to see his mother cry and know that it was because of him." - it shows that Percy does care but he doesn't know what to do.

Looking forward to the next chapter.


Reviewer: Genne-veraDate: 2006-05-14
Reviewid: 142799Chapter: 1
My jaw is clenched, my stomch is knotted and my eyes are glazed over. I'm moved. I knew that Percy was ok, any guy who rushes into a lake to drag out his little brother is always on my good list. I'm just glad that someone wrote about him... in a good way, the way he should be seen. I really can't wait for more.

Reviewer: Author by NightDate: 2006-05-14
Reviewid: 142781Chapter: 1
Oh, heartbreaking!

Very well written. Percy has his side, but it's still partly his fault, even if Arthur and the others are also partly to blame.

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