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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 19

Reviewer: dogstarDate: 2006-08-03
Reviewid: 144621Chapter: 1
I was half-way through this and I realised that I had read at least part of it before - the fiery bit! You write about physical feelings *so* well - in just a few words you establish an intimacy between James and Lily that is believable and not at all mushy - yay!

~Lily almost closed her eyes. She pretended to be nonchalant about dating James, as cool as the Easter lilies that she’d been named for, but it wasn’t true. Every time he took her hand, she shivered inside and her heart did a little jump of happiness. James didn’t crush her hand and he didn’t act like it was a dead fish. He kept a firm grip, his fingers long and warm against hers, the skin wind-roughened from all that time spent catching the Quaffle.

I love the way you compare 'cool' Easter Lily (the front she presents to the world) with passionate Tiger Lily - far more appropriate for her character. A tiger and a lioness made me smile - it gives Lily's character an edge and a strength that is too often missing in James / Lily fics.

Then the way you use fire in its different stages is really powerful: I'm impressed with the way you weave the image into Lily's private thoughts without it seeming at all forced. I particularly like how you wrap it up with the fire back again but this time 'manageable in its grate'. Down to earth and sensual at the same time. And the UST is brilliantly evoked - again without any gooey sentimentality - thank you!

Forgive me - I did think the discussion about Sirius went on a bit. Lily reminded me a little of Hermione in lecturing mode - maybe this was deliberate? ;) But your snapshots of Sirius and the other Marauders were spot-on, particularly the way Sirius exuded a slight air of menace along with an endearing vulnerability.

The hint of tension between him and James added a layer to their relationship which was very interesting. I think you do a huge amount in this story in a very short space of time, with plenty of sharpness to offset the sweetness of the fluff. Not that your fluff is too sweet at all, very digestible and far from bad for the teeth :D

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-07-22
Reviewid: 144349Chapter: 1
Nice

Reviewer: kinderjediDate: 2006-07-17
Reviewid: 144225Chapter: 1
[b]Starsea[/b], this was absolutely lovely.

Reviewer: Pineapple QueenDate: 2006-06-12
Reviewid: 143377Chapter: 1
Aw, you make me all warm inside. =) Loved this.

Reviewer: Shina LarisDate: 2006-06-11
Reviewid: 143368Chapter: 1
I agree with you that there aren't enough J/L fics out there, and yours is definitely a wonderful one. I really love your James and Lily, and how you've incorporated the story of Peter Pan into this. =)

Reviewer: lollapulizerDate: 2006-06-11
Reviewid: 143355Chapter: 1
Ironically, I just watched Finding Neverland today. This was a wonderful foc, and I loved the insight Lily had on Sirius. I can't wait for the next installment of the trilogy!

Reviewer: Angelina WeasleyDate: 2006-06-11
Reviewid: 143350Chapter: 1
Oh. I really liked this. Comparing James to a Lost Boy and that wonderful quote: "To die will be an awfully big adventure"...sounds like something he would say, or perhaps even good old Dumbles?
Keep writing. I really like your style, and hope to see more from you.

-Angelina Weasley

Reviewer: Zia MontroseDate: 2006-06-10
Reviewid: 143346Chapter: 1
Wow Starsea, this was wonderful. I thought your characterization of James was spot-on and that is so important. I love how you gave him the chance to talk about growing up. You showed his caring, protectiveness, loyalty to his friends, dutifulness, and playfulness. Tough task.

I loved these lines:

"James laughed a great big 'Ha' up into the night sky. 'Definately a Gryffindor,' he agreed."

"Sometimes I can't believe you're finally going out with me. You could have gone out with anyone."

Second, you showed Lily's vulnerability to him. Authors forget that part often. You portrayed the emotions of young love so well, pushed them back into the grate, and went on with the chilling parallels. I'm sad for the boy who never grew up though. I'm curious how he'll develop in the next two. (Two more? Yay!)

If I have any criticism, it's that I automatically rankle when Lily spouts Head Girl/Boy lines because that's been overused and I don't picture her as swotty. I also don't picture her as very small, probably because she showed so much stature in the Pensieve, but it's all subject to interpretation. : )

Beautiful imagery with the moon, the squid, and the swifts too.

Nicely done!

Reviewer: TinyKeegsDate: 2006-06-10
Reviewid: 143341Chapter: 1
Yay! A GOOD James/Lily story is hard to come by, so you made my day.

Reviewer: ChaotickDate: 2006-06-09
Reviewid: 143325Chapter: 1
This was simply lovely - finally a James/Lily that isn't full of bickering and angst - and poor Sirius! Lily is so wise and knowing - just like I imagine she should be to later sacrifice herself so that her son would survive. James is so real... not a worldly wise, randy cad - but a real guy - in love with a real girl.

Sigh. Thank you so much - I'm looking forward to the other installments.

Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2006-06-09
Reviewid: 143324Chapter: 1
well-constructed fluff - nearly smuff but not quite imho. Everything from "James's eyes darkened.." through "Thank God for school duties." Is appealingly cliche-free, meaningful and sexy. It gives an appealingly solid weight to their relationship - yes,it really is a matter of STRONG mutual attraction as well as a meeting of minds. It makes the talk about James' relationship with Sirius and Lily's own identity vis-a-vis Peter Pan more meaningful; lends those issues a visceral reality rather than just an intellectual.
BTW, I liked the thought about Sirius struggling with fears about losing James. I've not seen that expressed before, but it makes a great deal of sense.
Did you mean for Peter Pan to be a reflection of Peter Petigrew - the boy who never grew up? It's conflicting, because Peter Petigrew does, in fact fear Death - unlike Dumbledore who, as you so nicely imply, quotes Pan.
Loved the sardonic Remus. And looking forward, of course, to more Watching for Wolves.

Reviewer: gijane7702Date: 2006-06-09
Reviewid: 143319Chapter: 1
Lovey...very well done.

I do agree that Sirius would have a teeny problem with Lily thinking that she'd take James away. I also think that once he realizes she's not that they would become fast friends (I didn't ruine anything, did I ;)) You did very well keeping him in character. Same with Lily...understanding why Sirius had a 'problem' with her.

I love your James. He's wonderful. Very protective of his friends even with Lily. I can't see him as tall, but I'm comparing him to Harry, who's short compared to Ron the Jolly Red Giant (do you have GreenGiant veggies over there? I'll explain if not)

Love the parallel of the Marauders with the Lost Boys. Though I bet Lily wound up taking more of Wendy's role of mother to the Marauders to Tiger Lily.

Looking forward to the second story.

Reviewer: discordant_harmonyDate: 2006-06-08
Reviewid: 143312Chapter: 1
As I said on the Fluff thread, I love it. It's so sweet and hot and perfect.

*sigh*

So this is a trilogy? Good, I want more. :grin

The story of Peter Pan always made me sad. How he never got to grow up. Hmmm...

Reviewer: Author by NightDate: 2006-06-08
Reviewid: 143310Chapter: 1
I just listed a new email address when I changed mine, the next time I submitted. *Shrugs*

Great story. :) I love James and Lily in this - very in character. I can also see why Sirius is a bit jealous - probably feels a bit like Lily's coming close to personal territory.

I thought it was cute how James didn't explain MWPP. Will he ever tell the tale, or is it something that he'll take to the grave?

Reviewer: KeridwenDate: 2006-06-08
Reviewid: 143309Chapter: 1
You know, I was reading along, loving the story, loving the interaction between James and Lily, and then I hit the line, "What about Peter?" and I literally gasped out loud and thought, "How does he know something is wrong with Peter?!" before I realized that he was talking about Peter Pan, not Peter Pettigrew. But since they'd only discussed the reactions of Sirius and Remus, it all fit together very nicely.

It was a wonderful shock. Well done!

Reviewer: Kit of DarknessDate: 2006-06-08
Reviewid: 143306Chapter: 1
Starsea,
I really enjoyed this one-shot & how you balanced the Lily/James dynamic with the Marauders. I think the Lost Boys analogy is just right. And in this case I think Sirius was the one who never grew up.
I think you also got the first love feelings and hormones down well too!

Reviewer: St. MargaretsDate: 2006-06-08
Reviewid: 143304Chapter: 1
My goodness, you have been busy. First that wonderful chapter of Watching for Wolves and now this lovely James/Lily one shot.

Can I tell you how wonderfully sensual this is? I loved the hand-holding and the arm swinging and then that kiss that turned into something more! Whoot. I'm all agog. I love how you manage to include the sacred and the sensual - the innocent and the knowing - all wrapped up in three paragraphs. And you do it without purple prose or clinical details.

Then I love how you work in the tiger lily with her hair and her name and her spirit. And then tie it to the lost boys of Peter Pan. And of course, the Peter connotations are all the more chilling with James asking such a question.

The central "problem" in this lovely one shot is Sirius - and I love how you gave us the situation at the beginning - dropped it - and then brought us back. And you kept the humor of the Marauders:

~~Then he grinned at her. “Love me, love my dog?”~~

LOL. That just works! Wonderful job! Thanks!

Reviewer: Pumpkin JuiceDate: 2006-06-08
Reviewid: 143301Chapter: 1
OMB, WOW!! That was...wow! Everything about this was brilliant, the symbolism, the characterization, the description, the sheer, fluffy goodness of it all! Oh, you have reaffirmed my love for Lily/James fics!

The whole backstory with both Sirius and Peter Pan was really well done! You've definitely inspired me!

^PJ^

Reviewer: queeniorekDate: 2006-06-08
Reviewid: 143299Chapter: 1
That is so cute! There are lots of stories about how James and Lily get together, and this was quite a nice change. I really enjoyed Lily's diagnosis of Sirius's issues with their relationship and also the way they became Head Boy and Girl again when they went back inside. I can't wait to read the rest of the trilogy.
-queeniorek

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