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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Untitled
Review(s): 13

Reviewer: Elaina RiddleDate: 2006-07-19
Reviewid: 144285Chapter: 1
Wow, I still have chills. You did an excellant job on Tom, exactly how cruel I imagine him to be. Ca-cooie, I'm really scared of him now. Excellant, excellant job!

Reviewer: Hpgirl42095Date: 2006-07-13
Reviewid: 144147Chapter: 1
Aww..poor Hokey...I've always felt pity for house-elves.....great, now I'm sounding like Hermione.........Anyways, great story!

Reviewer: montanaDate: 2006-07-10
Reviewid: 144074Chapter: 1
wow. If I were a niffler, I would niffle this! It's shocking, jarring, disturbing...but without being all yucky gory. I think it is really good. And what a refreshing scene, too-- haven't seen this one before.

and if I were naming it, I think I'd go with Rewards, b/c it's soooo creepy, how he calls it her reward-- it's so twisted and malicious, the most malicious part of the story, I think, though the wig is more shocking. And that he's getting the rewards he is just chills me. Creepy, twisting back on itself, the rewards theme.

Reviewer: Ric FlairDate: 2006-07-08
Reviewid: 144038Chapter: 1
Cool theme,Ada.Very Voldemort-like.

Reviewer: McGonagall's CatDate: 2006-07-08
Reviewid: 144034Chapter: 1
Love this!
Excellent and insightful! (Though I would have thought TMR would have laughed sadistically rather than kissed her, glad he'd gotten his desired ends and she had been a total fool.)

More soon!

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-07-06
Reviewid: 143991Chapter: 1
Cool.

Reviewer: corvidaeDate: 2006-07-05
Reviewid: 143968Chapter: 1
oh i forgot about the title! it really is unfortunate that you didn't have one, as a good luring title would have been just the thing to top of this story. how about "humility," "the summer room," or "good-bye, miss hepzibah smith."

Reviewer: corvidaeDate: 2006-07-05
Reviewid: 143967Chapter: 1
how deliciously wretched. the absolute embarassment and indignity of Hepzibah Smith is just great, especially when it said she "rather resembled an ancient battle-ship in full sail," exemplifying how antique and ridiculous she was. tom's insensitivity to her by tearing the wig from her head was, again, great. i could smell the talcum powder and old musty perfume while reading this.

Reviewer: ReesieDate: 2006-07-05
Reviewid: 143966Chapter: 1
Great one-shot. I thought you did a great job with fleshing out this scene through Hokey's eyes. And with showing TR's enjoyment of cruelty and humiliation, apart from his more widely discussed goals of immortality and world domination(!). My only suggestion is that I would have liked to be privy to even more of Hokey's thought process. Very chilling!

Not that you should change the title, "Untitled" has its own lure, but Hepzibah's Last Kiss would be my submission!

Reviewer: ReesieDate: 2006-07-05
Reviewid: 143965Chapter: 1
Great one-shot. I thought you did a great job with fleshing out this scene through Hokey's eyes. And with showing TR's enjoyment of cruelty and humiliation, apart from his more widely discussed goals of immortality and world domination(!). My only suggestion is that I would have liked to be privy to even more of Hokey's thought process. Very chilling!

Not that you should change the title, "Untitled" has its own lure, but Hepzibah's Last Kiss would be my submission!

Reviewer: Eudora HawkinsDate: 2006-07-04
Reviewid: 143950Chapter: 1
How about "Sinister Seduction" or "Dalliance with the Devil"? I wanted to work in the cup somehow, but failed to come up with anything. Oh well.

Anyway, that was very creepy, especially the kiss at the end. Eeeeewww! But how in character for Voldemort to give her what she desired when she was dead and could not enjoy it.

I loved the imagery of the magpie's shiny trinkets. So very apropos for Hepzibah and her collection. And I absolutely loved this line:
~That, together with the false eyelashes, the baby blue eye shadow, the scarlet-red lips and the extra rouge streaked across her drooping cheeks, all contributed towards a look that veered sharply away from seductress and more unfortunately towards elderly clown.~
Such great description! Well Done!

Reviewer: ArimalkaDate: 2006-07-04
Reviewid: 143948Chapter: 1
Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! So incredibly creepy...your characterization of Tom is perfect.

Reviewer: CassieDate: 2006-07-04
Reviewid: 143943Chapter: 1
Oh my - this is dark and scary! You've captured Ton Riddle brilliantly, him pulling off the wig to humiliate his victim is inspired. Well done!

Cass.

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