|
| Dumbledore's
Army |
|
|
|
Review(s): 13
| Reviewer: Grace has Victory | Date: 2006-10-20 |
| Reviewid: 145819 | Chapter: 1 |
I love this story just as much now as when I first read it!
Neville is so self-effacing, hestitant and kind, and it's wonderful to think that there is someone out there for him. Susan, whom we don't really know in canon, springs to life as sympathetic, confident and competent, just the kind of person whom Neville needs.
I notice that you've moved the action to a wizarding grocery - that works well. You maintain the impetus of the crowd nicely through the narrative.
And of course it's excellent news that Ginny Potter needs to visit the Stork-Behring Ward! She is lucky to be in Healer Bones's hands. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Zia Montrose | Date: 2006-10-17 |
| Reviewid: 145782 | Chapter: 1 |
That was a nice piece of writing, Lady Whizbee. I really enjoyed it. I reads very smoothly, the imagery is vivid (owlish lab partner, items being Accio'd at the grocery) and you tie it up nicely at the end. Plus a catchy title!
"something clever, something witty, something interesting...
Any and all words were stuck in his throat." : )
Thanks! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: LNLisa | Date: 2006-10-16 |
| Reviewid: 145764 | Chapter: 1 |
| This is very sweet, and very in character! Are you going to write a second chapter? I'd love to see what happens at dinner! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Nundu | Date: 2006-10-13 |
| Reviewid: 145721 | Chapter: 1 |
| I like the changes you made. Well, really not so much changes as additions that tighten and clarify. This is a great start! Is it a one shot or will we see the relationship develop (I have a soft spot for Neville). |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: hp4-sauce | Date: 2006-10-13 |
| Reviewid: 145711 | Chapter: 1 |
| Lovely to see Neville chatting up Susan. Nice job with Neville and your version of Susan is very appealing. Great job. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: AmandaB | Date: 2006-10-13 |
| Reviewid: 145705 | Chapter: 1 |
| This is very cute and sweet. A Healer is perfect for Neville, and I love how relaxed he is. It's high time he find some happiness. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Mallaryrose | Date: 2006-10-12 |
| Reviewid: 145701 | Chapter: 1 |
| Here I was having a horrible morning, and you had to go and make it all right again with this lovely fic. So delightful. You made a very simple plot heartwarming and engaging, so kudos for that. Keep up the great work! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: birdsong | Date: 2006-10-12 |
| Reviewid: 145694 | Chapter: 1 |
| Well written! It's so nice to see Neville with someone other than Luna. I think you did a fine job of capturing Neville's character as an adult. And I can picture Ginny trying to fix him up. Again, good job! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: shiiki | Date: 2006-10-12 |
| Reviewid: 145692 | Chapter: 1 |
| When I read the title I imagined it'd be Luna and Neville - but having Susan around was a pleasant surprise! Neville is very in-character, with his natural shyness and his aptitude with Herbology, and I'm so happy you worked in that cure for Memory Charms (although I'm hoping Neville succeeds with his actual goal!) This was a very very sweet piece, and I certainly woudl like if you want to continue it! |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: mak | Date: 2006-10-12 |
| Reviewid: 145689 | Chapter: 1 |
| My sincere compliments. The characters are well developed and quite in character. The storyline is enchanting and well written. I can picture this scene clearly im my mind's eye. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
|
|
