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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 4

Reviewer: Ardie BeaDate: 2007-09-12
Reviewid: 149256Chapter: 3
I've just caught up with this fic, and think I'll be following it regularly! That was a very impressive sorting song you've constructed there. And I'm enjoying your delineation of the multiple influences on Severus' development. Of all the HP characters, I think his will bear the most significant examination over time.
Your portrayal of family violence was horribly accurate.
Once again, you've excelled in considering the 'mechanics' of magic; especially around the construction of Severus' first wand. Which reminds me, when did he get a real one?
Awaiting your next post...

Reviewer: rachelindeedDate: 2007-08-27
Reviewid: 149037Chapter: 3
Wow -- thanks for another terrific chapter. I could tell from the story summary that reading this tale was going to be like watching a train-wreck in slow motion, but I'm always impressed by how well-written a train-wreck it is! Terrific work with the early characterizations of the Slytherins, and nice introductory glimpses of James, Sirius, and Lily (I'm glad to see that she will be a part of this story for Severus -- I loved their backstory in Deathly Hallows and I wasn't sure which elements of what we now know would make it into this story). I like Eliza, too, which makes me vaguely suspicious that you are going to do something awful to her as we go along. I'm preparing myself just in case.

The Sorting Hat's song was brilliantly done -- it was so poignant for the poem to actually point out what a huge difference this small decision could make for the future, not only for individual lives but for the whole world. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both...

I've never trusted the Hat's claim to be infallible -- it makes mistakes, or at least allows its charges to make them. The internal logic of Snape's choice was awfully depressing, but very believable (and a huge MISTAKE!! Why are abused and bitter eleven-year-olds handed this kind of responsibility? -- clearly they don't know what's good for them...) I like the way you wrote Dumbledore, and the way you worked through the staffing conundrums and the other challenges of JKR's muddled timeline. You are doing a careful, convincing, compelling job with this story, and it absolutely deserves more reviews than it's gotten so far. Please hang in there and keep writing -- I know more people will get on board eventually!

Your continuing use of "the Scottish play" to structure the chapters adds a special elegance to each one. The quote from which the story's title is drawn is one of my favorites in all of Shakespeare, and applies beautifully to Snape's early life. I can't wait to see what you do with the "tomorrow" soliloquy! Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing, indeed...

Poor Severus. Such a sad life. But in the end, he made it out and found his soul again, which makes reading about his downfall much less depressing, ultimately, than Shakespearean tragedy...

Thanks so much for writing!

Reviewer: PygmyPuffDate: 2007-08-17
Reviewid: 148890Chapter: 2
Interesting chapter. I like what you're doing with Snape's childhood, it seems very in-character for him. I actually really loved him working out the spells and making his own wand, it's the kind of adventurous problem-solving that children often do in stories, it's the sort of endearing thing Hermione would have done.

Reviewer: rachelindeedDate: 2007-08-16
Reviewid: 148882Chapter: 2
Wow. This chapter was very intense and well-written, and you are doing a great job at grounding your magic in Rowling's believable world, exploring its internal logic. This adds a sense of realism to the whole story. It feels perfectly in character for Severus to figure out a way to practice hexes for protection by learning magical theory with a dictionary by his side and whittling a make-shift wand to focus his power. His uncertainty about pronunciations is another wonderful stroke of realism. And his sense of commiting a violation by destroying the beautiful plum tree felt very true and sad. I also really enjoyed your thought that he learned logic and math from his father -- I think his riddle from "Sorcerer's Stone" probably did spring from his Muggle heritage. I like the glimpses you are showing us of his remarkable intelligence, self-control, and anger (making death threats to his father by the age of ten is terribly disturbing, though understandable given the circumstances). I'm looking forward to seeing where this story goes. You are an excellent writer!

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