The Sugar Quill
Sugar Quill Community
- S.P.E.W (SQ History)

Fan Fiction and Writing
- Ask Madam Pince
(Story Submissions)
- Floo Network (Links)

Forums

Administrative Links

Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 11

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2007-11-16
Reviewid: 149937Chapter: 4
[Patients had their skulls cut open, their brains wired with electrodes and magic detectors, to study the precise workings of the Imperius Curse, Legilimency, live Veelas, Dementors, and other mind-controlling or mind-altering phenomenon. In each room, Dominic viewed as much as he could while human, to make it as vivid as possible for the Pensieve.]

As horriffic an image as that is, it makes a lot of sense that this would be one approach to studying this. Normally I like it when science and magic intercept and there is some overlapping between the world of magic and a scientific explanation as to how magic works---but I'll make an exception in this case. Those poor people--especially Alan! The sooner Dominick gets out of there, the better!

Hell's hospital sounds really awful--glad there's a rescue mission!

Reviewer: ThessalyDate: 2007-11-16
Reviewid: 149936Chapter: 7
You know, I've been seeing this for ages as you wrote the first version and now the second, and for some reason I didn't read it.
My bad.

This is really excellent. I've never read any good fics about American wizards either, but you're done a really smashing job. I love it - plot and everything is spot on. Great work on Grindelwald; I'd love to read more when you get it up.

Only one thing - I think the past tense of "shine" is "shone," not "shined."

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2007-10-22
Reviewid: 149686Chapter: 1
I'm still partway through reading the first chapter of this "updated" version, but couldn't resist this preliminary reaction - "Charlie Weasley and the Four Points" may be abandoned?! Noooo! :( I admit I was looking forward to my OC making a cameo in someone else's fic, but at the same time you're one of my favorite SQ authors so it's sad to see that story taken down.

I can understand why you'd make such a decision, though. It ain't easy writing fanfic :-/ Fortunately, I still have this new and improved ("Now fortified with DH canon!") to tide me over until your next story!

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2007-10-18
Reviewid: 149666Chapter: 1
You know, it takes a good writer to make me interested in military history, but I am completely fascinated with the history of magic in the US. It feels grounded and real just as the British magical world does, and that enables me to believe in all these characters. But I just have to say that Uriah R. Grubbly is one of the most hilarious names I have ever read. Please tell me you've never met a man called that.

*He looked forward to landing in England, where wizarding pride had a lot more meaning than it did in the Muggle-obsessed and mostly Muggle-integrated United States. Grubbly did not have any disdain for Muggles per se - after all, that was one of the big reasons why they were fighting this war - but to see wizards and witches embrace non-magical culture so willingly grated against him terribly. - he'd really get on with Phineas Nigellus, wouldn't he? ;)

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: illudwinnepooh4Date: 2007-10-12
Reviewid: 149607Chapter: 5
A great story, so far! Also, go Red Sox!

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2007-10-09
Reviewid: 149565Chapter: 3
[He performed hundreds of Transfiguration spells (mostly changing objects into smaller, easier-to-carry objects),]

I bet that really comes in handy! Whenever I see the backbacks soldiers have to carry, my back hurts at the thought of it.

[change of Alan McGonagall's status to missing-in-action]

Oh, poor Minerva! But her last name eventually changed...so I hope they got married!

[loitering around kitchens of several eating establishments in Boston's North End.]

I know those restaurants--my family is from that area. Although the idea of a rat in the kitchen is rather gross, I'll make an exception in Dominc's case. Does he like canolies?

[The room stank of death and dying. Real rats were very attuned to dead things - it provided them with food. Dominic had the high sensitivity for death, but his humanity made him feel nauseous every time he smelled impending death through his rat nose.]

Great detail--very chilling and sad because on one level with what happens in war, it's very true. I just got the shivers.

Reviewer: Thorn of BloodDate: 2007-10-08
Reviewid: 149552Chapter: 4
That was horrible.

Not the writing of course but those experiments...

I don't think I even want to know what is actually being put into Alan.

The descriptions here were almost too detailed, and I thought what I had Bella doing to Ted in my story was bad!

One small quibble, or question, why is the unicorn blood, which I though was a corupt protection aginst death, aging the men, we know that it curses them into half life or something, so is this your version of that?

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Reviewer: Thorn of BloodDate: 2007-10-06
Reviewid: 149526Chapter: 3
Could have sworn I reviewed this before...

Anyway, I suppose they always say be careful what you wish for, I suppose I should have noticed the hints you dropped through out the previous chapter and been a bit more wary. I am hopeful though as we do know Minnie :) by her married name so... fingers crossed.

And I really don't want to know what Claude meant by being forced to use a foal do I?

Also I don't think I mentioned before how much I like your title, the American wern't particularly popular when they came over were they?

Looking foreward to the next chapter.

Reviewer: Thorn of BloodDate: 2007-10-03
Reviewid: 149492Chapter: 2
*puts on reviewing hat*

*adjusts*

Sorry I didn't get around to this earlier, RL...
you know how it is.

Anyway, that last line was pure brilliance, I really like the Ryerson character actually, he does shouting at people really, really well.

Although I have to wonder, is it because the unit is so small that a relitively small bar fight is dealt with not just by a Colonel but by a General as well? It just seems a bit...much?

I did like Dumbledore's comment about the rank thing, it was avery Albus thing to say, voicing my own opinion in a way. I do find that whole thing a bit odd in the context of the wizarding world that we've seen. I guess i never though of them as having an army before.

Oh and I grinned when he met Minnie. And I can't wait to meet her sweetheart.

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2007-10-02
Reviewid: 149481Chapter: 2
["I wouldn't go that far, Cornelius... after all, he did keep up the Secrecy Agreements when the radicals wanted to expose everything to the Muggles! You read about the Vermont Secrecy Rebellion in your History of Magic class, right?"]

Love the appearance of Fudge. I also like the idea of Vermont being a place where a bunch of intellectual rebels would gather. Being a New Englander, I definitely appreciate that touch. (Are Ben & Jerry wizards? It would explain so much about theri ice cream...)

The transition from Dominic's first to second train ride was a little confusing. I saw the elipses, but I wasn't sure if they were supposed to go with the preceding paragraph or if was a mistake translating from Word to HTML. Still, I loved seeing Dominc in Hogsmeade and learning more about the politics of Grindewald's war.

[He was sitting at the bar, surveying a half-eaten steak-and-mushroom pie, and wishing he had anything his mother cooked instead.]

I'm Italian and I totally understand! Great character development--I can almost hear Dominic's accent when he talks or narrates scenes.

Love Dumbledore and Minerva. Loved the duel in the Three Broomsticks--very exciting! Dumbledore's punishishment was great!

Reviewer: The Morning StarrDate: 2007-09-30
Reviewid: 149447Chapter: 1
I like the characters and the setup. I'm interested to see the Grindelwald story and how it works with this one. I like your take on American wizarding society.

The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For questions, please send us an Owl!

-- Powered by SQ3 : Coded by David : Design by James --