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| Dumbledore's
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Review(s): 5
| Reviewer: Vega Black | Date: 2008-02-15 |
| Reviewid: 150520 | Chapter: 1 |
I wanted to review again for the challenge. Though this one is sitting on top of my last.
I love this story. Andromeda and Ted are very dear. You make us see the Awkwardness she feels and yet we can also see what Ted sees in her. We feel her confusion and fear both of love itself and the danger from her family if she were to attach her self to a muggleborn. I have some constructive criticism, I would have liked more development of the character's relationship in the begining of part II. I would have liked to have seen more of their time together not just have it reaccounted. I found that section of the story frustrating. I wanted to experience what was described. The awkwardness and the distance and then see how that distance was crossed with more than just stolen kisses but real exchange and communication.
The end of your story was lovely. I felt the danger they lived with, the fear and the love. |
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| Reviewer: Vega Black | Date: 2007-11-14 |
| Reviewid: 149924 | Chapter: 2 |
Wow! Great Fic. It became more and more compelling as it progressed and became very intense and romantic at the end. Ted is a brave guy. I love those two kids and fear for them. I enjoyed this even more than your "Family History" which I thought was innovative and well done.
Sirius really rang true as did Regulus. Even Narcissa appears sympathetic. Her warning was to the point and scary. The conversation between Sirius and Andromeda sounded real in the ear, and the conversations between Andromeda and Ted were youthfull and true in their awkwardness. Ted's an interesting guy - reads Pride and Prejudice and willing to marry a Black and brave the families hatred. He seemed real. |
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| Reviewer: dogstar | Date: 2007-10-30 |
| Reviewid: 149771 | Chapter: 1 |
*headscratch* I thought there was more of this! More ...fluff. But, hey, I have the original :D
So cute, and lovely and sweet and just the thing for a study break. I really love the scene on the Hogwarts Express especially - like Canon Extra™ Poor Andromeda - she does have a hard life - thank goodness she's got such a hot guy interested in her. Ted = Mrrrow. |
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| Reviewer: St. Row-a-Check | Date: 2007-10-28 |
| Reviewid: 149762 | Chapter: 1 |
*grins* Hi, dear.
“Oh, ha, ha, ha. What’s so important, then? Oh, Merlin’s pants, Sirius. What dimwitted thing have you done now that you need to look up the counterjinx for?”
This sentence is awkward. Try saying it aloud with varying degrees of sarcasm. It just... stumbles around the third ha and dies when it reaches dimwitted.
Other than that? LOVELY chapter. Lovely. Andromeda is fumbly. Ted sounds like a mend of your dream fictional guy and my dream fictional guy.
"what do you think you’re playing at, just kissing me like that without even, you know, warning me?"
*snickers*
I love the teengurl humour, and Sirius and Milton and the subtle tension of her family home. and the romance. *swoons*
Go on updating, please! :) |
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| Reviewer: KateHC2 | Date: 2007-10-27 |
| Reviewid: 149740 | Chapter: 1 |
This is such a good story about falling in love for the first time. All of us have felt this way-
"He’s kissing me. Kissing. Me. He’s kissing me and I’m kissing him and for a split-second of this strange, alternate reality, nothing else exists. But it’s too weird, it’s too much, and even though it feels good, really good, actually, it feels wonderful and I never, ever want him to stop, something in me snaps, and I pull away, jump to my feet. Ted stares at me." |
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