The Sugar Quill
Sugar Quill Community
- S.P.E.W (SQ History)

Fan Fiction and Writing
- Ask Madam Pince
(Story Submissions)
- Floo Network (Links)


Administrative Links

Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 8

Reviewer: KatjaDate: 2005-01-23
Reviewid: 111897Chapter: 1
I think that writing the story in letters is an interesting idea and has a lot of potential for really getting inside the characters' heads. However, I stopped reading this halfway through (I say this not to be cruel, but because if it were my story I'd want to know - this is meant to be helpful) because the character development was so poor. Hermione, especially, stood out as being written by someone who didn't understand her - her only "identifying" characteristics were liking to study and writing to Krum. She wasn't believable, and she sounded about 7 years old - not to exaggerate.

I'd be interested in continuing to read a story that had poorly developed characters (after all, so long as the descriptions and voice aren't glaringly and annoyingly out-of-character, as I must admit they were here, I can imagine the characters pretty well by myself) if it had a riveting plot. But that was also absent.

I'm sorry; rereading this, my review sounds cruel. But I think honesty will be more helpful to you guys than just another "This is so interesting! Letters are cool. Lol" -style review. Remember - my opinion doesn't matter. It's your own satisfaction with the writing (process and product) that's important.

Reviewer: Date: 2004-11-13
Reviewid: 104718Chapter: 1
Thats ireally creative. I really like it....

Reviewer: KiddycatDate: 2004-04-06
Reviewid: 77352Chapter: 1
The idea is really good. But since I'm on sugar quill i didn't expect to find as many spelling mistakes as I did. Maybe you should ask someone to beta-read this again. And then there is this thing about Ella and Elizabeth, and McGonagall's niece and nephew. ("Did you hear that Professor McGonagall's niece and nephew is coming to Hogwarts? She'll be in fifth year too.") Is Elizabeth McGonagall's niece? And if that is so, who's her nephew? If not, who are her niece and nephew and why does Hermione know about them? I don't think you ever really mentioned it...

Reviewer: ArnelDate: 2003-05-17
Reviewid: 32438Chapter: 1
Nice touch with the letters. I like getting into the characters minds this way.

Reviewer: KrisDate: 2003-04-13
Reviewid: 27838Chapter: 1
Hey i liked the story but i think that you should do a sequal when everyone meets in diagon alley and ginny meets elizibith and ella that would be cool and i also want to read the reaction when hermonie shows elizibith that shes knows harry potter

Reviewer: AllieDate: 2003-01-15
Reviewid: 16311Chapter: 1
I really liked your letters. I can just see Hermione and Ron arguing back and forth!

However I think you need to get a beta reader from the UK to go over things as there were quite a number of americanisms (although you managed to avoid the major sin of calling Mrs Weasley etc 'Mom' *grin*).

E.g. "How's Ron? I haven't heard from him in a while. I've been writing him, but he's not responding. "

In English english (as opposed to US English, lol) we put "I've been writing TO him, but he's not responding.

Also you have Ron writing: "You should stop writing to that guy. You just should. Period." This would be "You should stop writing to that guy. You just should. Full stop."

Hope that is helpful.

Reviewer: usakoesmDate: 2002-11-23
Reviewid: 9936Chapter: 1
very true to the book for all the charcters. nice job ^^

Reviewer: ÁlanDate: 2002-11-21
Reviewid: 9740Chapter: 1
This FF was great... I hope that you intend to post more chapters... Email me if you update this story...

The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For questions, please send us an Owl!

-- Powered by SQ3 : Coded by David : Design by James --