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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: The Casting Stone
Review(s): 12

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2007-01-04
Reviewid: 146742Chapter: 21
Absolutely WONDERFUL.

Reviewer: MinuialDate: 2004-10-04
Reviewid: 100370Chapter: 21
I'm posting a review on this story but in fact, I've just finished reading all your work and it's wonderful! What a fantastic universe you have created :-)
I rather like your take on Draco and the career he finds at Hogwarts in the end. I always try to see the best in people and to believe that they can see their mistakes before it's too late.
I'm glad you wrote this pre-OotP and that Sirius is still there. No story without him, is it?
And Remus... He's perfect in your stories. Well, I've had a soft spot for Remus since watching PoA and it got worse reading the books so maybe I'm not objective when I comment on your way of writing him, lol.
I like your take on lycantropy and how it affects him even when he's not transformed, even if he's the sweetest of men. I love the fact that the companion you gave him (what was Draco's word? 'Partner'? Spot on word!) is perfect FOR him but not perfect herself. She could have been an horrid Mary Sue in other hands!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for you hard work and your talent.

Reviewer: TheresaDate: 2004-07-04
Reviewid: 90498Chapter: 16
I'm enjoying your story greatly, however I can not get chapters 14 or 15 to load.. can you help me???

Reviewer: birdsongDate: 2004-06-15
Reviewid: 87277Chapter: 12
Wow - this is great! I love how you portray the characters. I can't wait to read the remaining chapters. I'm also glad to see Draco protrayed as a wizard searching for a life beyond darkness. Please write again!

Reviewer: TerraDate: 2003-07-19
Reviewid: 42907Chapter: 21
First of all, I want to stress how much I loved this series. This story, by far, was the best (The Soupmaker's Apprentice is a very close second). It was an amazing storyline and it was very suspenseful. I loved Malcolm and the griffins. My favorite part was with Callum and the poker game prank with the griffins. I was laughing so hard! Is Noel Coward a real guy? And for the first time *ever*, I have actually seen a redeemed Draco that was in character and didn't make me want to throw up. That is astonishing.

But, a well-rounded review is the best review so I have to be the big bad witch now. There were several problems with this story that took away some of the joy in reading it.

1. Spelling. In comparison to ff.net, you did great but you repeatedly made the same spelling errors.
To/Too. You kept using "to" for "too". “To” is usually a preposition. It can also be used in front of an infinitive. “Too” is either used as an adverb meaning “excessively,” or as a synonym for “also.”

Lose/Loose. You kept using "loose" for "lose" except once and I cheered. “Loose” is either an adjective meaning “free” or a verb meaning “to free.” “Lose” is an adjective meaning “to misplace.”

(I took the definitions from the List of Common Grammar Mistakes on here.)

There are also mispellings of other words scattered throughout. One that stood out in my mind was in Chapter 9 where Katie asks Harry if it bothers him that Remus trusts Draco, to which Harry replies, "No. It used to, very much, but not anymore. Malfoy has, he has, earned that trust. Remus and Hermione are the two most levelheaded people I know, and they both trust Malfoy. It would be ridiculace of me not to share that trust." I think you meant ridiculous, not ridiculace, unless that's the British spelling and I'm just being dumb.

2. Dialogue. I liked your dialogue, I liked what was being said. I didn't like the formatting.
A. Dialogue tags. You don't use these very often and it makes for confusing readings. It is very difficult to know who is saying what in some parts. One part in particular is the discussion between Hermione, Draco, and Remus in Chapter 2 when they discuss Lucius' journal and Peter's letter. There is a long piece of dialogue and somewhere Draco cuts in after Hermione but before Remus. There is no tag but obviously Draco speaking there. This happens many, many times and I usually had to re-read to make sure who was saying what.
B. There were times when someone would speak, someone else's actions would interrupt, and then the first person would continue. Like this (I'm just making this up): Remus woke up and went downstairs. "Good morning, Katie." Katie smiled and nodded at him.
"What are you making?"
Now, that looks like Katie is saying "What are you making?" but it isn't, it's Remus continuing to speak. This happened a lot and it was really confusing. This makes more sense: Remus woke up and went downstairs. "Good morning, Katie." Katie smiled and nodded at him. "What are you making?" That clearly shows Remus is still talking.
C. While we're on people continuing to speak, there were times when someone would go on and on about how evil they were or whatever. Demoncles did this a lot. Here's an example (that I just made up):
"Yes, I remember when I decided to be evil. I was four and my grandfather was telling me about wolves. I had never seen a wolf before but I clearly remember my grandfather telling about them."
"Around that time, a boy in the village stole my teddy bear and I swore vengence on him. So, I asked Set to turn me into a wolf and he did. Then, with my new strength, I killed him."
Now, it looks like someone interrupts Demoncles during his big long speech but we both know it's just him still talking. I understand what you were trying to do but you made one tiny mistake. If the dialogue is two paragraphs, you indent as normal but you don't put an ending quotation mark on the first paragraph. Like this
"Yes, I remember when I decided to be evil. I was four and my grandfather was telling me about wolves. I had never seen a wolf before but I clearly remember my grandfather telling about them.
"Around that time, a boy in the village stole my teddy bear and I swore vengence on him. So, I asked Set to turn me into a wolf and he did. Then, with my new strength, I killed him." Now it's clear that Demoncles is talking the entire time.

I don't mean to be a nag. I really, really loved this story and if these things could be fixed, it would be even better!

Keep writing!

Terra

Reviewer: LeslieDate: 2003-06-21
Reviewid: 38159Chapter: 4
I love this 'series' of sorts with Remus and Sirius. I am also simply amazed with your knowledge in this Greek history part of the story. Brilliant.

20 chapters. I do hope I finish someday.

Reviewer: CallieDate: 2003-06-13
Reviewid: 36520Chapter: 21
amazing stories. I don't usually read much fanfic, much less actually read several stories by one author....
I love Charles and Elvira, and the kids. You are an amazing writer! :)

Reviewer: annabelleDate: 2003-03-08
Reviewid: 23213Chapter: 21
Great stories - could you e-mail me - I have a quetsion for you.
thanks.

Reviewer: annabelleDate: 2003-03-07
Reviewid: 23103Chapter: 13
You must be either Greek or majoring in mythology! I am enjoying all your stories - wish more people thanked you for all this great writing by writing a review.

Reviewer: Blue_Eyed_AthenaDate: 2002-12-31
Reviewid: 14625Chapter: 21
This is wonderful! I would have reviewed each chapter seperately, but I was too engulfed in the story. I particularly like the fact that the most adventurous part of this story went on for chapters! I LURVE my adventure, you know. And Malcolm has to be the cutest child I have ever read. Ever. So "little Remus/Kate". Your characters are real...like a best friend that you know everything about.


Wish I could write more, but I'm being KIXed off the computer by my brother.
-Athena

Reviewer: LourdesDate: 2002-10-27
Reviewid: 7155Chapter: 21
This is one hell of a story. It is just so good that I am sorry you did not have the original Harry Potter idea. I have spent 2 days reading it. Wow, what a good job you have made of this. Good luck!

Reviewer: LEKDate: 2002-08-02
Reviewid: 703Chapter: 1
Beautiful... You know that I am holding you personally responsible for my complete inability to stay awake at work today! I was up until 4 am this morning reading this story and the only thing worse than trying to stay awake today was reaching the end!! I love the griffins. Yeah for Charles and Elvira!! And the whole mystery surrounding the orgins of werewolves and such... this story is soooo beyond that of the typical angsty story--although you put plenty of that in there just to keep us on the edge... I loved it. Write me!

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